SIMP Paid Her Bills On FIRST DATE?! Feminist Until The Check Comes?! | Dating Talk #120

Date: 2023-11-22

Duration: 6h 45m

Guests

Brian Atlas

CCeleste (DT120)>

NNicole (DT120)>

MMandy (DT120)>

OOxana (DT195)>

JJanna (DT120)>

TTessa (DT120)>

RRaina Zuzunaga (DT120)>

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_02Nicole(guest)

SPEAKER_03Raina(guest)

SPEAKER_04Tessa(guest)

SPEAKER_05Tara(guest)

SPEAKER_06Mandy(guest)

SPEAKER_07TTS/Donations(audience)

SPEAKER_11Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_12Oxana(guest)

SPEAKER_13Janna(guest)

SPEAKER_14Celeste(guest)

Key Moments

QuoteBrian introduces himself as representative of the patriarchy and proclaims men have fewer rights than women.

“men have less rights than women and that is an inescapable fact feminism has failed you how can the patriarchy help you today I am the official representative of the patriarchy”

QuoteOxana (matchmaker) argues that a woman can either build or crush her man through how she handles herself with him; gratitude helps man grow.

“woman always builds man with the right way she handles herself with the man she can either build her man or Crush her man”

ControversyTessa challenges Nicole on the contradiction between calling herself a feminist while wanting a full male provider who pays for everything.

“the two they can they can be parallel so then can I ask you something real quick”

QuoteNicole rates herself a 10 on looks.

“um I'd say 10 yeah there's always been for PR shirt but like I think I'm cute”

QuoteBrian self-rates at 5 due to recent weight gain (down from 6).

“I used to say I'm a six I think now I'm a five because I've gained some weight”

ControversyTessa tells Nicole she came on the podcast undereducated, was back-and-forth and confused, and should think more about what she actually wants.

“I think you definitely came on the podcast today very uneducated um I think you were very back and forth”

QuoteBrian plays Andrew Tate clip arguing men working dangerous jobs do so to provide for their families, not to oppress women.

“when a man gets up at 4 in the morning to go carry garbage to earn a good wage he ain't thinking I'm going to do this so I can oppress that”

QuoteTessa describes meeting her current boyfriend who ambushed her with his entire family on the first Tinder date.

“his whole family including Brothers sisters grandfather grandmother they all”

QuoteBrian asks guests to rate themselves 1-10 on looks.

“starting with you and we'll go around the table go ahead Cece”

Topics Discussed

Introductions & relationship status

Guests introduce themselves; relationship statuses revealed. Mandy is in an exclusive situationship since July 4th (~6 months) but not officially in a relationship.

Who should pay on the first date

Discussion on whether men should pay on first dates. Nicole wants provider; Celeste says whoever initiates; Mandy says situation-dependent. Brian argues against feminist who wants both equal pay and traditional treatment.

Feminism and traditional values contradiction

Nicole identifies as feminist but wants provider husband, traditional gender roles, to be stay-at-home wife. Brian and Tessa challenge the contradiction. Wage gap data presented (payscale, Pew Research).

Patriarchy discussion

Guests define and debate the patriarchy. Nicole claims patriarchy exists as male leadership. Brian rejects it, argues gynocentric society. Janna gives Slavic example of abandoned mothers.

Wage gap data presentation

Nick pulls up PayScale controlled vs uncontrolled wage gap charts, Pew Research Center data on young women's earnings, GDP per capita vs median male income, working hours comparison. Discussion of film industry pay disparities.

Andrew Tate clip - men as providers

Clip of Andrew Tate explaining that men working dangerous/dirty jobs do so to provide for family, not to oppress women. All guests react positively.

Roster / dating multiple people

Going around the table: who has had a roster. Celeste: not now (3 people at ~17-18). Nicole: no. Mandy: situationship (quasi-single). Oxana: had roster before husband. Janna: never hookups or one-night stands. Tara: open relationship dating. Tessa: no. Raina: pursued by multiple but no crossover.

Older men dating younger women

Brian presents list of reasons older men prefer younger women (not manipulation). Mandy raises concern that older men manipulate young women. Brian rejects pathologizing of male preferences.

Sugar daddy discussion

Nicole mentions sugar daddy thing traumatizes women; alludes to personal experience but refuses to elaborate. Brian notes women actively seek sugar daddies via apps like Seeking Arrangements.

Self-ratings (1-10 looks)

Guests rate themselves on looks 1-10. Celeste: 10. Nicole: 8 (said 10 initially, walked back). Mandy: 7.5 (8 with humor). Oxana: declined. Janna: 7. Tara: 6-7. Tessa: 3. Raina: 6. Brian: 5 (down from 6 due to weight gain).

What is a woman / transgender debate

Going around table: Celeste says biological woman. Nicole says fine with trans identifying as woman. Mandy says identifies as woman = woman. Oxana: woman is love/care/nurture. Janna: feminine energy, given to you. Tara: open relationship. Tessa: biological only, cites God not making mistakes. Raina: biblical gender differences.

Body count discussion

Body counts: Nicole <5 (declined to specify); Mandy under 20; Oxana declined; Janna <10; Tara: 11; Tessa: 0; Raina: 0. Brian: 11. Discussion on whether body count matters.

Transcript

Page 1 of 8

Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 P p.m.

Brian AtlasPacific I am your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host Kiki she's back there somewhere she's a bit shy a few quick announcements before the show begins this podcast is viewer support heavy YouTube demonetization so please

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Brian Atlasmotives if you can't catch the full shows we have a Clips three Clips channels link is in the description go subscribe without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please tell us your name

Celesteage and occupation go ahead hi I'm celest I'm 23 and I go to Cen you go to Cen okay are you a grad student undergrad undergrad okay what are you

Brian Atlasstudying there uh marketing marketing okay and you do any content creation or just student right now uh I do a little bit of only fans I just started a little bit of only fans okay

Brian Atlasis there any reason you glossed over the doing the only fans thing or um cuz mainly I'm just a student I'm focusing on that more than only fans how long

Nicolehave you been doing only fans I recently started this year uh like last month January two three months ago yeah okay got it what about you my name is Nicole I'm 23 I'm a full-time care taker for my

Nicolegrandmother full-time online student student I'm an author and an artist what do you study I'm undecided but as of right now I'm really enjoying political science and journalism okay got it and

Mandyyou said you're an artist what kind of art do you make I do paintings and sketchings paintings and sketchings okay what about you my name is Mandy I'm 23 and I do only fans all

Mandyright how long have you been doing that I've been doing only fans for about 3 to 4 years 3 to four years okay

Brian Atlasgot it what about you my name is Axana I'm 45 and I'm a Matchmaker a Matchmaker okay I think that you're the first you're our first Matchmaker so maybe you

Brian Atlascan weigh in on the what's going on in in uh you know the dating World um and you do you matchmake for men for women for both how does it typically both men and women yeah so it has to be opposite

Brian Atlasgender that's the only type of matchmaking I do okay gotcha cuz isn't the case that with some matchmakers they they focus more so on like one gender over the other you know no everybody

Oxanareally needs help men and women you know so it's especially the dating world that is going on right now it's just gotta yeah we'll get to it I see sure hour

Jannaokay got it what about you hello everyone I'm Janna I'm 36 years old I just moved to the USA three months ago so from Moscow originally in B Russian I

Jannahave my journalistic background back from Moscow but here I'm just um going through my trans transition period and just want to be involved into some volunteering uh with church so um

Brian Atlasbackground you said you're originally from bellarus but I lived in Moscow for 9 years before moving to the USA and you were born in Belarus yes gotcha okay and what about you because I detect an accent too are you from Kazakhstan so

Brian Atlasit's former Soviet Union next to Russia and China okay got it the petroleum I heard petroleum is a good lots of yes

Tarayes or it potassium I forgot okay um what what about you I'm Tara and I am 34

Tarayears old and I'm a bartender and I'm a licensed uh nurse

TaraLPN um I'm also from Florida and yeah okay and

Brian Atlasso are you you dance if I have that correct or you no dancing used to dance I tried it okay uh and then didn't didn't like are you able to scoot your

Brian Atlaschair in a little bit is there any room for you to scoot your chair in just so you can get a little closer your your chair mine yeah your chair if you can scoot it

Tessain okay got it what about you my name is Tessa I'm 20 I a Wrangler and a ranch Bron riter and I'm currently studying at small farms

TessaUniversity um doing beef and cattle management okay beef and cattle management yeah okay and you ride horses yes so I compete in rodeos uh for ranch

RainaBron riding okay do you consider yourself a horse girl uh yeah oh yeah okay all right got it what about you my

Rainaname is Raina zuzunaga I am 21 years old old and I work uh a nonprofit as a graphic designer I do freelance and I also work in ministries um my faith is

Brian Atlasthe most important part of my life so I do dedicate a lot of my time to that all right welcome everybody welcome so we're going to go around the table once more so what is your current relationship status are you single talking stage

Brian Atlassituationship friends's benefits relationship married po cool sex cult if you're single how long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead I've been single for about a year

Nicolenow and the longest relationship I've been in is 3 years okay longest relationship 3 years all right uh what about you um I've been single for like 3

Brian Atlasyears yeah single for 3 years mhm longest relationship probably like almost 3 years can we have you scoot your mic this way just a tad thank

Brian Atlasyou uh you said longest relationship 3 years was that the one that ended 3 years years ago um yeah it was a little over 3 years ago okay got it and it was a threeyear relationship correct okay

Brian Atlaswhat about you um I've been single for about two years still single longest relationship was like a year and a half 2.5 years still single and you've been on the show previously so I don't know if anything's gone down since your

Oxanaprevious appearance but maybe we can okay uh what about you I'm married happily uh for 9 years and this this is

Oxanamy longest relationship for 9 years got it is this your first time actually married for it it just been so good you know how many years have we' been married seven

Jannaeight we know each other for nine years um is this your first marriage it is my second marriage second marriage okay got it what about you I'm single uh my last

Jannarelationships ended um maybe about a year ago and the longest relationships were 9 years N9 included 5 years of

Brian Atlasmarriage you're married for 5 years okay I've been only only married once once okay all right what about you I'm single

Taraand my longest relationship was 3 years I was engaged how long have you been single

Tessaum almost a year almost a year okay yeah what about you I am not single um um my longest relationship was probably 2

Brian Atlasyears okay two years so you said not single so are you in the are you in a relationship is it complicated what a relationship relationship how uh how long are has this relationship been

Tessagoing on um well I ghosted him for about 6 months and then we met again randomly at a gas station and we haven't left each other since so that's been

Brian Atlasabout 3 to 4 months since we met again at the gas station okay wait so hold on you were seeing him what the initial period of time you were seeing him how long were

Tessayou seeing him for one night it was a night it was like a night it was I deleted Tinder I hated dating apps M and I thought he was just going to be a

TessaTinder boy and then we met again off Tinder and it was a lot different experience wait so hold on when when you did you meet him in person yeah

Tessaliterally once for about 3 hours off of Tinder and I left and I you left I just left I was like I can't do this why it

Tessawas just very odd interaction we just didn't really hit it off um didn't have a lot of things in common and the then

Tessain that 6 months he moved away and went and worked on a ranch and came back and we ended up having a lot more in common and could actually sit down and talk

Tessawith each other and okay yeah so you did you guys like you hooked up the that first no no okay nothing like that it was I was awkwardly

Tessasitting there so was that more so on him or was it on you that was making it awkward him he took me immediately to go meet

Tessahis family and all of his parents um it's a little soon yeah and I think it was just very awkward because I have never been on a Tinder date that's my one and only Tinder date I've ever been

Tessaon yeah um it was just a very odd experience for me so okay damn okay

Brian Atlasuh did you know like going like did you when you were going over to meet him did you know you're going to meet the parents no not a clue I had no idea so

Tessahe said wait hold on where did you meet him like at his house so we met on Tinder and he invited me over to his house oh so you thought it was going to be a hookup no I thought we were going to go out to dinner and we

Tessawere meeting at his house but he wanted to drive okay so I drove to his house it was about like 5 minutes away from where I was living at the time and then his whole family including Brothers s

Brian Atlassisters grandfather grandmother they all and I was like whoa so you drove to his house and were you going to drive y'all to the date or

Tessahe was going to drive us and his so wait you were going to drive to his house and then he was driving us somewhere what why wouldn't you just meet I mean if he wanted to take his truck he's a truck

Tessaguy pick you up I'm not sure he I mean he must have known that I think it was an ambush we talk about it all the time and he says it wasn't an ambush but I totally think it was an ambush that he planned for his family to come out like

Tessajust I'm thinking logistically like was his house on the way to the date no no so or his house was on the way to the date mine wasn't so he would go out of

Tessathe way to pick me up okay so I met him halfway okay that's part of the reason I ghosted him come on now how far did you drive it was it was only like 5 10

Brian Atlasminute drive you know it was just not that long at all that's that's I could see why you ghosted him that's a little intense like

Brian Atlasthe first date how you going to meet the whole family immediately it was rough like you said one word to him and he's like this is my mom my dad my grandma yeah literally that's like his

Tessagrandparents were sitting out on the porch dad was in the driveway like working on his truck or something the kids were in the front playing basketball and I was

Brian Atlaslike what am I pulling up into yikes that's uh I would I would have just been out of there I would have just [Laughter]

Rainathe yeah anyways uh what about you um I'm single I've been single for 6 months and the longest relationship um I had a

Rainaboyfriend for like 5 days but five five days what happened there uh it was long distance he lives in Illinois and I live

Brian Atlasin Arizona so it just he came out to visit for the first time and it like we were just like yeah no this is not work out okay you you actually sent us pre-show notes on this you said that you met a guy once we had been talking for a

Brian Atlasweek of her Instagram DM when his plane got rerouted mid-flight to Phoenix we talked for months after that he flew out to visit me for a week asked me to be his girlfriend and we broke up 4 days

Rainalater yes that's did you guys hook up no who broke up with who uh in the end it was me but it was kind of like back and forth for a little bit oh like he wanted

Brian Atlasto end things and then I didn't and then he did and then okay yeah all right very very complicated here yeah okay got it

Brian Atlasso um let's see pretty much everyone here is single besides you and you there uh so what does it actually mean to be

Brian Atlassingle um so you said you've been single for a year uh but come on there's a guy in the picture right no it's just me there's just what just me just me yeah there's

Brian Atlasno guy in the picture there's no guy you're talking to texting with no nothing nothing hooking up with no when's the last time you uh spent time

Brian Atlasone on one romantically with a guy probably like six months ago six months ago yeah I stop the C I don't

Brian Atlasbelieve it I don't believe it um okay 6 months ago do guys DM you on Instagram yes you just ignore them I just ignore it yeah okay are you're not

Brian Atlason any dating apps or anything no I used to be on hinge but not anymore I do I see okay uh okay there's nothing nobody in the picture maybe an ex-boyfriend

Celestekind of little something going on I mean I'm still friends with my ex-boyfriend but we don't talk on a daily basis still friends with your ex yeah

Brian AtlasOkay g okay I I'll come back to that because that might be an interesting conversational thread is it a red flag

Brian Atlasif somebody is still U friends with uh an X so red flag X um okay so you've not even a date you Haven not even gone on a date and cuz you said

Brian Atlasyou've been single for a year nothing in a year no dates no in a year so you broke up with your guy there's been no rebound there's been nothing no okay all right

Brian Atlassure okay I'm like protecting my pieace so you're protecting your peace oh that's I mean that's valid um what about you um what was the question oh so yeah yeah so you're

Brian Atlasyou've been single for three years yeah uh are you truly single though maybe there's a guy in the picture sort of you're not official but maybe there's a guy you're seeing M no guy no maybe a a

Brian Atlaslady friend no I don't know if you maybe I should ask is it if sometimes people play Both Sides you got a lady friend

Brian Atlasmaybe I do but oh oh huh I thought you were single but not romantically well no lady friend of course I don't mean

Celestelike literally a just a friend no yeah I have lady friends I thought you meant like guys so you have women that you're dating no women I'm dating no women that

Brian Atlasyou're seeing women that aonic friendship no when I say lady friend like I don't literally mean friend I mean like a girl you're romantically sexually interested in no

Brian Atlasokay lady friends no no when's the last time you were on a date over a year ago over a year ago yeah I'm pretty busy so what about like a sneaky link no anybody

Brian Atlasget sneaky link come on all right these girls are just lying this okay so okay you've been single for three years in that threeyear period has there been another guy maybe like a

NicoleFriends with Benefits a situationship anything like that um no not really not nothing too serious like I hang out with like a a male friend yeah but I'm picky so pretty picky

SPEAKER_00okay

SPEAKER_00fashion

Brian AtlasI'm going to fix that um uh do you want to answer so what color was the Ford truck and was it a ston or ball cap the that's funny that he knew it was

Tessaa Ford it was a Ford it has three different colors on it and it's a square body and it was a STD not a ball cap I'm wow okay that's impressive that you know

Brian Atlasall that that's only horse girls would get it holy [ __ ] by the way there's just like marijuana wating into the [ __ ]

Brian AtlasStudio smells good like I'm getting a secondhand High I think um Jesus okay um so uh if I'm a little out VI guys it's cuz I don't know it's the freaking out

Brian Atlasfrom we have the the windows open and it's just wafting in students yeah UCSB just typical [ __ ] um hold on I'm trying to fix this um so okay you said nothing

Brian Atlastoo serious yeah I know so you got in the past year have you had like a sneaky link friends nothing no so you've been are you saying you've been celibate for the past year

Brian Atlasyeah over a year have you been celibate for the past year yeah that's such a lie you're such a [ __ ] liar you're such a liar come on I

Mandyhav't you're friends with her is it true that's her business that's her she says that and she sell it she she

Brian Atlassays just blink twice if she's [Laughter] lying just do like maybe after the camera goes off of you you can let me

Brian Atlasknow telepathically okay I still can't I'm trying to change the voice here hold on let me just type it one sec hold on one sec guys okay it should be changed it's

TTS/Donationsno longer the ja Japanese woman okay here we at while we got this one cost donated $17 Brian look into a shepherd's crook

TTS/Donationsfor the neck if you don't have already also roller and neck wedge helped me pel chat have a Happy Thanksgiving thank you man drink some eggnog spike it with some

Brian Atlasrum for fun yo thank you uh PC thank you man appreciate it uh I'll look into the shepherd's crook thing I'm not sure what that is but um okay there you go uh

Nicolecelibate for more than a year two years three years almost two years two years of celibacy yeah yeah I'm busy with my grandmother

Nicoleso that school other projects yeah sorry you sure yes I'm very sure two years

Nicolemhm yeah I'm picky like I said I'm healing you know so it's fine [Music]

Brian Atlasokay okay all right all right um have you been on a date maybe not you you did your celibacy is intact but

Brian Atlasyou've been dating no M okay all right what about you um it's not shameful to be dat like what the

Mandyokay go ahead go ahead I go on some dates yeah you know yeah yeah going on some dates going on some dates yeah when's the last time you were on the

Brian Atlasdate last night be Hest last night wasn't it wasn't it man how do you say your name again Mandy just Mandy

Mandyokay um yeah maybe like a like a week ago like a week ago like last night like a week ago what if I told you I knew somebody who knows you I was streaming last night actually streaming last night

Brian AtlasI okay all right so okay you were on a date uh a week ago uh but you're not currently come on

Mandyyou got a sneaky link come on Mandy Mandy be honest you got a sneaky link come on okay I wouldn't put that person under a

Mandysneaky link because friends benefits situationship a oh let's call it a situationship how long have you been in this situationship for oh my gosh uh

Brian Atlassince uh since 4th of July were you on be before that I think that was before the yeah I'm pretty sure

Brian Atlasit was before I'm not sure okay 4th of July so almost 6 months here um do you want it to become a relationship um we'll see are you guys

Mandyexclusive yes you're exclusive but he's not your boyfriend but you said you were single but you're exclusive so you wouldn't you wouldn't date other men yeah go I don't think you're sing

Brian Atlasbecause I only like to see one person at a time I don't think you're single then you're only seeing him like if another guy wanted to date you sleep with you you'd say no I'm assuming yeah I would

Brian Atlassay no you said the last time you hold on you said you went on a date last week though yeah with that person oh with that guy yeah so you went on a date with this guy as recently as a week ago but you're single and you've been seeing him

Brian Atlassince July 4th and you're exclusive me out what do you mean he hasn't asked you out he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend how often do you guys hang out um a couple times a week when's the

Brian Atlaslast time you saw him um was it a week ago for the date this last weekend

MandySunday uh yes I think two days ago okay yeah yeah not I

Mandymean would he be upset if you told a guy that you were single um I don't know it's just it's complicated cuz like I want to be asked out like I want to get

TTS/Donationsasked to be someone's girlfriend I don't want them to just be like oh so we've been have you asked him to be your boyfriend um no just because we're trying to hold on just a second silly Ninja donated

TTS/Donations$100 techno music goes boom choom choom choom choom choom choom Chom Chom hey it stopped what the hell uh a silly Ninja thank you man that was

Brian Atlasbeautiful that was like some trance music or something um go ahead uh were we well I think why didn't you I think the question was why didn't you ask him

Mandywe're just seeing how things are going you know but you said you want to you want him to ask you to be serious not like I mean if he ask and it's a Poss

Mandyyou you want him to take the initiative on yes his end yep yes but do you want a relationship yes with him yes so why not just ask him because we're also just

Brian Atlasseeing where things are going like yes I would like you've been dating him for five months 6 months what do you seeing where it's going what do you mean cuz you know life I don't [Laughter]

Brian Atlasknow for your o do you do BG content just solo content what about you solo content just solo content okay uh

Brian Atlasuh oh okay you're going to get me in trouble why do you shoot content with him no no no no he knows you do right okay why don't you don't post them on

Brian Atlasyour IG nope you've been seeing them oh okay so what you're waiting for him yes why are you so conflicted right

Mandynow you you want me to take that step but it like I don't know we're El we're just we're getting to know each other and like I'm also you you hang out like

Brian Atlasmultiple times a week yeah for 5 months yeah and you said you were single yes yeah that sounds like I don't know if it's totally a

Brian Atlasboyfriend but that sounds like not exactly single I you tell him that huh you tell him that are you scared that if you have you okay have you asked him hey

Brian AtlasI want to where's this going have you tried to have that conversation I don't really want to have that conversation yet is it because you know that the answer is going to be oh no I know is um

Mandyno no no wait you know that the answer is what that it would be like yeah we want we want a date but right now we're just we're oh so you don't want a relationship no no no oh my

Brian Atlasgod um well if you know what the answer is going to be that he would want to be in a relationship with you but you don't want to yes but like we're still we're like you know like we or you we we've talked about it like we talked about

Mandybeing exclusive we talked about what okay what was the what was the content what was the content of that conversation um well we're only seeing each other um that's you okay so you talked about

Brian Atlasbeing exclusive yeah oh my it almost sounds like you're in a relationship but just not taking the title or the

Brian Atlasthe what okay I don't think think you're single you might you might not technically have a boyfriend but I don't know if you're single sounds like

Mandya welldeveloped exclusive situationship yes okay uh you guys just don't want to give it the title then I guess yeah not yet not yet just we're still seeing how things are

Brian Atlasgoing cuz like being dating like you meet each other's families and you know you right during the time that you've been seeing him at any point you said you started seeing him in July mhm early

Brian AtlasJuly at any point maybe early on before you had the exclusivity conversation were you dating other people and was he dating other people no so you've been exclusive for then essentially exclusive

Mandyyeah I wasn't seeing anybody before um during well a little bit before and then during like talking to him waza was like wanting to okay I see okay uh you're

Jannamarried so you're single so what does that look like to you right now to me yeah um being single it means means I

Jannadidn't have a boyfriend so I don't have any anyone who have asked me to be their girlfriend okay so basically uh I go on

Jannadates I love going on dates here because I'm exploring and I'm exploring American dating culture American man and myself

Brian Atlasas well how I am good alone with go alone with this and so on sure so yeah reminder how long have you been in the US three months okay and uh you said

Jannayou're you're dating like how uh how many dates would you say you're going on in like a week you know I don't count uh but uh usually it may vary okay it may

Jannabe it might be two dates for example but my last one happened about uh two weeks ago for example but some I had some

Brian Atlasweeks when I saw for example three person in a day no no no in a week gotcha gotcha gotcha you know okay okay I see all right and so you said you were

Brian Atlaswhen you before you moved here you were in Moscow and before that uh belus yeah okay so I'm just curious maybe you can give us like a uh brief comparison when

Brian Atlasit came to dating in bellarus dating in uh in Russia I assume it's pretty similar between yeah belus and and Moscow although um compared to here how

Jannawhat were some of the differences you know um I would not say everyone told me and from mass media we all heard probably that there are plenty of differences

Jannathat you know all these kind of 5050 cultur so equalities equities feminism and all this stuff but in fact I don't

Jannasee this I see beautiful American men who looks great who has their career who are educated and um they all want uh to I

Jannadon't you know to impress a girl to take girl out to take care of a girl to ask where like uh for example me want to go

Jannaand so on so but of course you know what I see here that uh man has um lower expectation on girl than uh um man in

JannaMoscow what I mean uh that men in Moscow are spoiled because there are less men than women statistically okay so and um was this also the case in Belarus of

Jannacourse yeah in Slavic countries because of World War II because men dead during the World War II and we uh don't renovate the population of

Brian Atlasmen well you're it's historical aspect you you are 36 right yeah right well world World War II was 70 plus years ago yeah but population still didn't is it

Jannais it still I I'm not y it's still I'm not educated on this topic but is there's still a a gender differential yes and our men dead more often than

Brian Atlaswomen so we basically have less men if you will yes Russia is in the midst of a war right now so that could also be contributing factor yeah so our men are

Jannaspoiled and they have high expectations that lady should look for example you know certain way so in Moscow for

Jannaexample um it's not very common that you will go on a date like more in a casual way so you will dress up to show your best for example here I feel more you

Jannaknow more kind of myself more calm that guys will not tell me or will not show like only jeans or something like that

Jannayou know here they are very appreciative to wow you make make up wow you dress up for me I hear it everywhere so and they

Jannauh want to um contribute to this quality time together you know uh for example uh they ask for like going for dinners or

Jannaask for like do you need any help with anything so it's really really cool I love and I'm very excited to go on dates and meeting people here because most of

Jannathem are very nice I see okay you're very lucky girls here absolutely yeah because you know I I heard this stereotype that like men will ask you to

Jannapay or to share the bill or you know he will expect you for example to commute some somewhere by your car but as I'm new here I don't have a car yet so

Jannaeveryone like picked me up and they are very worried about my safety so they're prec cautious you know they're kind of is it okay if I will pick you up or how you will commute I said yeah okay I just

Jannamake a picture of your car for my friends like so to be sure then I'm they okay okay I understand you it's fine right okay interesting funny y interesting um so are you saying that

JannaAmerican men are more gentlemanly than the men that you dated in Moscow or I can say it uh they eager to be gentlemen

Jannaand when you a woman allow I allow I'm traditional I'm very traditional I was a bring in traditional you know uh model uh when I allow them to open the door

Jannabecause I'm waiting until they will open the door or you know uh I'm very appreciative if they arrange something for us I said thank you so much it's

Jannalike super cool for me or if they give me a ride or anything they are very happy I see this happiness in their eyes and say wow wow I I was so happy to to meet you or something like that okay

Brian Atlasinteresting I have another question can I just have you tilt your mic down just a little bit like that perfect perfect you said that the men in in Russia or in belus they have a lot of expectations

Brian Atlaswhat were some of those uh you mentioned to appear or dress a certain way but were there any other expectations in terms of

Jannabehavior um actually um no uh in Russia in Belarus it's very common that it's it's even not negotiable uh in mostly cases of course there are exceptions but

JannaI'm generalizing of course but there is no any idea possible idea that man will not pay the bill after the dinner so that men will start this discussion or

Brian Atlaslike you know it it's kind of doesn't work like this it's 100% the man pays 99% that he will pay whereas here in the US it's a bit more not you're not sure

Jannayou're not sure that's what you heard although your experience seems to be different just you know just once a man no one asked me to pay no one okay I can

Jannasay more than a lot of uh people kind of I did haven't uh dated just a lot a lot of people because I have my transition period I I'm

Jannabusy with settling down but from the people who I dated a lot offered help for example with uh driving license for

Jannaexample like oh you can use my car you can drive I can teach you driving and you can use my car for driving test or one guy for example bought me

Jannagroceries you know bu you groceries yes yes yes because I'm in a transition period I can share if you

Jannayeah so it was a story uh I'm on hinge and uh I love dating apps uh because maybe I have my journalistic soul and I

Jannalove reading their profiles uh about people and you know I create my assumption uh because as a journalist I met a lot of people and used to kind of

Jannamake conclusions what the people like and so on and um yeah and we met on hinch he asked me me to go on date he

Jannaasked me about uh his situation and my situation um yeah how long I've been here and so on so uh he was involved

Jannainto Refuge help to refugees and um yeah we met for a coffee uh he told me plenty of stuff where I can get some help or support or get acquainted with people and then he asked

Janname you know I want to help you with anything I can what do you need right now so my car my time is yours right now so I said oh I I need to go grocery

Jannabecause I can't afford going every day because I don't have a car so I need to to kind of adjust and he said yeah let's go to groceries so I picked groceries I

Jannawas going to pay myself but he said no no no I will buy it to you he paid like $41 you know but I feel that if I bought

Brian Atlasfor more he would buy you know sounds like a s uh um sounds like a Sim but uh wait are so you okay you came here three months ago

Jannaare you uh I heard you said are you a refugee not yet I came here under humanitarian parole I'm in a transition period okay I I'm waiting for my papers

Jannabeing done and I don't I can't work right now because I'm waiting for papers so yep but so you're you've applied for what is it Asylum I don't asum yeah

Brian AtlasAsylum asumh okay political Asylum SE and do they provide I don't I'm not familiar with this do they provide some sort of uh support support do they give you money help you with housing you know

JannaI'm super appreciative to this country because I haven't done to this country anything yet but they already gave me money for food food stamps and like call

JannaFresh I'm not sure in in um names but like this medical insurance of course so they provide me with like around $300 per mon months and something extra so

Brian Atlasyou know I'm very appreciative to everything yeah was it like a trek was it a journey to arrive here in the United States yeah exactly it's it's what political Asylum Seeker is how did

Brian Atlasyou like did you just take a flight from Moscow you know you you would like to bring someone here huh no no I'm just curious I'm just curious like because we

Brian Atlaswere you you were in Russia you came here 3 months ago my understanding I don't know if they uh they've reduced some of the I'm pretty sure you can't just like I

Jannacouldn't just go to Russia right now you I can I thought we're wait I thought isn't there like a travel ban I know people who has no I have a

Jannapeople who has American passport and they've only American passport well can a russian person come here is a better question uh how can Russian person came can can someone who is Russian come here

Jannato the US uh I don't know no they can they can why if they have a Visa it's just political questions of course not dating but like they can well I think because of the I thought because of the ongoing war or whatever there were

Jannacertain restrictions I can share more with you if you're super interested in stuff I'm I'm just curious yeah if you have a Visa you can come and for example my case I came like a political Asylum

JannaSeeker because I'm a journalist and there are some risks you know that wait did you go did you when you came here were you in b or were you in no I have

Brian Atlasbeen living in Moscow for 9 years but I'm Bel Russian citizen I see okay and could a man come here for Asylum yes

Jannaabsolutely everyone can come and uh yeah everyone the United States allows yeah if okay interesting yeah absolutely um

Brian Atlasand I think you're saying a little bit more about uh the expectations of the

Jannamen in in uh Russia Belarus mhm M uh

Jannayeah so um they expect uh having a nice lady right at at a date nice girl and um

Jannaprobably uh as I heard as well um that they don't expect any intimacy to fast like because I heard H I haven't faced

Jannait because I'm very traditional person in this CA in this um Direction but I heard that like American man might be

Jannaexpecting um a very fast development of relationship like third date being together or first date or second date it's fine here right that's a reasonable timeline yeah I like that I like that

Jannatimeline that's a good no but do you agree like right is it is it true or is it like huh do you expect any intimacy of the first the third day it's not an

Brian Atlasexpectation but um me personally my view on it is I don't feel that it's necessary to wait some arbitrary arbitrary period of time before being

Brian Atlasintimate with somebody uh perhaps if she's a virgin it might make sense to wait but absent that I frankly I I most of my long-term relationships I've had

Brian Atlasthat we didn't wait long periods of time it was the first second or third day typically that we hooked up I feel I and I wouldn't like I some men might judge women if they hook up too soon me

Brian Atlaspersonally I don't there I think there are better indicators of a woman being potentially promiscuous or having a high body count than the the quickness with

Brian Atlaswhich she gets intimate with you so for me personally it's not I'm fine it can be quick but yeah you know but those relationships they over right yeah but

Brian Atlasjust because the relationships ended isn't evidence that the the way we just because we had sex quick doesn't mean that that was necessarily the cause of the relationships not making it the

Oxanadistance yeah the cause is different because you really haven't okay it's it's going to be longer no I mean uh it's um uh for for the relationship to be successful uh two people have to

Oxanacommunicate and discuss absolutely everything yeah they have to create the plan how things are going to be developing in their relationship like run through every possible situation that could go that could happen and they

Oxanahave to really when people are saying get to know one another better you got to ask yourself a question what are you trying to get to know is it about wasting the time and just stretching the

Oxanatime or is it actually about getting to know something so the sexual aspect I mean there's two ways how you're looking at uh you know getting closer in that

Oxanarespect it's either uh movement of the body physical aspect or is it about making love so making love it is the connection of all of the energies like when you are together you are one

Oxanachannel you are one Soul you are connecting that's where you're making love it is not about just having sex it is about making love and that is like the highest level of the relationship

Brian Atlasyou can imagine and to get to that level you got to get to know the person really better yeah that's fine but and and both men and women they are entitled to move

Brian Atlashowever they want if somebody wants to wait that's totally fine uh I have no issues with wanting to wait I think my issue stems more so from if your previous standard with the past 5 10 15

Brian Atlas20 25 30 men that you've slept with was I'll sleep with him instantly but then you finally you born- again virgin or whatever now you're changing and now you want to wait until marriage now you want to wait 3 months I just think that's

Brian Atlaskind of entirely arbitrary and you didn't have the standard in the past now I feel like you're holding me to a different standard that you held oh Nick we have we have something for this it's

Brian Atlasthe uh the flower cuck thing this is how it feels like uh when so okay it's a a little vulgar but

Brian Atlasso you're the guy with the flowers and the suit but then you've like this is how it feels this is how it feels if it's like okay oh your previous 20 Partners you slept with them instantly

Oxanabut I'm the guy who has to wait until marriage and do all these romantic gestures so it's uh that's how it feel no I'm not talking about her treating you different than guys I'm talking about somebody who has already standards in uh you know in GRE I but I would

Brian Atlasargue most most women I I would say most women don't move that way they don't move which way they most

Brian Atlaswomen it's not like every single guy I've slept with I waited three months to sleep with him most I'm not saying

Oxanaall women but i' I'd say most women okay so if somebody has already right standards you know also Christian values and you know um and it is also in

Oxanathe Bible you got to get involved sexually after um you know after there is a engagement read or there is people who already I think the Bible says the

Oxanano premarital sex at all yes well we're living in the M modern world so it is a little bit uh harder to do of course exactly we are living in the modern world so yeah but to engrave uh standards where people really get to

Oxanaknow one another and I'm not saying that woman should be treating you different than the other guys absolutely not I'm talking about the woman who already has right standards and she treated other

Brian Atlaspeople the same way that's totally valid and look even even if you let's say you had 100 previous sexual partners as a woman and you slept with all of them on

Brian Atlasthe first night it's 100% with that within that woman's uh choice to okay my new standard moving forward is I'm not having sex to marriage that's 100 she's

Brian Atlas100% within her right to make that determination however what I'm saying is looking at it from the guy's perspective that's not a woman that I would take seriously that's not a woman that I would wait for marriage for I'd be like

Brian Atlaswell we have a difference we don't align on you know what we're looking for when it comes to this relationship I wish you well nice meeting you take care um cuz

Tessain in that scenario I feel like I'm a sucker all the other guys like I feel like I would feel like a sucker in that situation I feel like that would cause so much self-doubt in the person because

Tessayou've seen the person do this over and over and over yeah and then they come to you and it's like well what have you just got it all out of your system and now I'm just chop L that you just want to have a conversation with and you know

Tessaso I that she not sexually attracted to you and then it's just a down spiral that I feel like would affect the rest of the relationship because those first you know couple weeks couple months are are so important so then for the rest of

Tessathe relationship that's going to be something in the back of your mind am I not sexually appealing to my girlfriend fiance wife whatever and then that's just you know it's like the Snowball

Brian AtlasEffect yes yeah definitely and uh I mean like I said you're you can you previously had 100 one night stands and

Brian Atlasnow you want to wait until marriage that's 100% your call but I I'm not I can't take that seriously I wouldn't take that seriously so I just that's not

Oxanasomebody I would wait for so I just yeah typically well yeah typically when you are um connected deeper with the person you're trying to develop relationship

Oxanawith then you will end up in a successful marriage successful relationship and without a divorce I mean there is formula to that but sure yeah yeah I mean look and there there

Brian Atlasare genuinely women that that throughout most of their life or all their life that has genuinely been their standard for all the men that they've ever been intimate with and I think in that scenario it's valid and I also

Brian Atlasacknowledge that women are in the sort of damned if you do damned if you don't position because there's there's this also corresponding uh if if we as men say well we don't obviously it would be

Brian Atlasbetter for you to cease your promiscuity like if a woman is or was promiscuous yeah maybe cease being promiscuous but also there are also men who are like well if

Brian Atlasif you don't match up with him because if you wait too long to have sex then he might also Lo lose interest so yeah okay or he will take you seriously and propose and get married

Oxanaand you're happily married people have more sex than single ones it's statistics okay so it's good to be in the relation in the marriage well I don't believe in marriage I'm not in favor of marriage hold up but teach

Brian Atlastheir own hold up teach their own I'm not uh I don't believe in marriage I think it's an L for men but um other men can feel differently about it I have no if other people want to get married that's fine but just be well

Brian Atlasinformed about the risks of uh marriage especially on the uh the financial risks for for men so um okay well let's move on so you're single you said you've been

Tarasingle for a year yeah you got a little sneaky thing going on what's up sneaky sneaky link um

Tarasneaky link no um just trying to date I'm like on six or seven dating apps I'm

Brian Atlason a lot of dating apps right now like how many um probably less than 10 okay Tinder Bumble hinge Christian Mingle Farmers Only I think she's on a

Brian Atlasfew of those oh wait yeah sorry you got your boyfriend my bad my that's how you guys met um Farmers Only Farmers Only um

Tarayou're on 10 dating apps um close close to 10 yeah I lost count um what list

Tarathem uh so so Okay Cupid

Taraum uh Bumble yep hinge yep is that Tinder four okay um there's two foreign ones that I can't even pronounce foreign

Brian Atlasoh that's right that's right we have some notes Here I think uh about this you hold on let me pull up the notes

Brian Atlashave a thing for Asian men yeah yeah good for you good for you uh do you have any in your pre-show notes Here you provided a few things I can prompt you

Brian Atlasif you'd like but you said you have thoughts on Asian male and black female desirability politics yeah and you said I believe Asian males and black females

Brian Atlasare experiencing the worst of the dating market and get misjudged quite often yeah go into that go into that what what are your thoughts there well I mean it's

Taraalready been revealed um with the study that came out um from OK Cupid about just who was getting I guess um the most

Taraswipes and who was getting the least and it turned out to be uh Asian men and

Tarablack females and um which is kind of surprising um I guess because I mean that's my preference is I like Asian men

Taraso to me they're like they're great I'm like I don't know what other um I guess women why other women may not like I

Taradon't know what they're not saying either yeah not I'm not gay or anything but if I was I would date Asian

Brian Atlasmen okay good talk yeah so so so I will so so I will say this um wait question um how long have you cuz you're uh 34 correct for your like has this been an

Brian Atlasinterest when it comes to Asian men your whole life or is this something new what tell us about that pretty much uh

Taraso well because I was born in Wisconsin and there's like large oh okay no no no uh so in the 90s where I was at uh in

TaraWisconsin it was like a good population size of Asians there and um yeah so it was some stuff happening in my household

Tarawhere I just wasn't getting treated well and um I befriended this Asian guy who

Taraum he basically like let me take shelter at his place and uh was a friend to me um when I was just going through a bunch

Taraof stuff and so ever since then I've just always had an attraction to how how

Taraold were you when you were in the you needed shelter yeah I was 14 15 years

Brian Atlasold yeah yeah yeah yeah and since then you've had a hyper fixation on dating Asian men well no no

Tarano I so I've dat nothing wrong with that good for you yeah I've dated different types it's just that I've always found myself different types of Asians like Korean Koreans Vietnamese Cambodian

Tara[Music] Japanese yeah Filipino uh yeah actually yeah like you naming yeah you can keep going La Mongolian um did I get Korea

Brian Atlasdid I get Korean Korean did I get Korean Chinese Chinese I can't forget that not not though but um but yeah no I've dated different kinds of guys it's just like C

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