00:00:00Brian Atlasand we are live welcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every
00:00:11Brian AtlasSunday and Tuesday at 7 pm Pacific I am your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host Kiki she's a bit shy guys a few quick announcements before the show begins
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00:02:53Kikoguests introduce himself so please tell us your name age and occupation go ahead hi my name is Kiko I'm 23 and I'm a bartender
00:03:02Jennahi my name is Jenna I'm 36 and I'm a gas station clerk slash only fans content creator did you sorry did you say age 36 oh 36
00:03:14Milanokay hi my name is Milan I'm 26 years old and in the interim of getting my PhD in Psychology I've started a male dating advice platform called men ask Mia
00:03:27Madisonhi my name is Madison I'm 18 I'm a student at Santa Barbara City College studying econ and accounting I work on the whatever podcast and I'm a host at a bar
00:03:40Brian Atlaschat were you able to hear Madison well enough okay what about you I'm Nicole from California I'm 39 and I'm an investor
00:03:51Brian Atlasyou invest in what stock market and as of two days ago real estate docs do you have a did you ever have a normal person job
00:04:03NicoleI worked in fashion for a lot of years yeah I don't know if it was a normal person job but I traveled a lot and worked in fashion and then I left that were you a fashion designer were you I was a trend
00:04:15Nicoleforecaster so yeah so I would decide what Everyone likes before they know they like it and we would push it out and then you Chums would buy it not me I don't buy that yeah you're stuck in your flannel we know you don't shop right
00:04:30Michaelastuck in the 90s okay hi my name is Michaela I am 22 and I'm from Mobile Alabama I currently go to the University of South Alabama studying
00:04:42Brian Atlasand recreational therapy the University of South Alabama you said USA okay is it what's the uh the uh how many how many students are there
00:04:53Priyathe campus um I couldn't tell you thirty thousand forty thousand twenty thousand if I had to guess probably around 30. okay got it hello my name is Priya I'm 22 years old
00:05:04PriyaI'm from Sacramento California and I co-run a family business I'm a full-time student at ASU and um I'm an athlete
00:05:15Brian Atlasyou play Batman or what do you yes horse's equestrian okay yes sir uh Billy what about you my name is Billy Ray I'm
00:05:26Billy Ray25 and what do I do yeah what do you what do I do I make uh men's self-improvement slash dating content
00:05:40DanAnna I'm Dan I go by DM dating on the interwebs uh I am in sales and also am a dating expert and attraction coach
00:05:50Brian Atlasrock and roll yeah oh yeah age I am 32 32. all right welcome welcome and uh we might react to uh some of your guys's videos a little bit later on in
00:06:01Brian Atlasthe show so uh let's go around the table once more so what is your current relationship status are you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits relationship married polycule um how long have you been single if
00:06:14Kikoyou're single and what's your longest relationship go ahead um I'm happily in a relationship same relationship this whole past um seven months and my longest
00:06:25Brian Atlasrelationship is like two years two and a half years how long is your current relationship in uh about seven months seven months it's
00:06:35Jennagoing strong it's going strong okay what about you I've been dating the same guy for about 12 months and I would say my longest relationship
00:06:46Brian Atlaswould be six years on and off so you've been dating your current boyfriend for seven months no almost a year oh excuse me a year sorry I've got you mixed up with keycup and you said
00:06:57Brian Atlasyour longest was seven years is that six years six years but on and off so I I don't know like okay um and uh I think in your pre-show notes you told us you you're your mother
00:07:09Brian Atlascorrect I am okay how many kids do you have four four kids okay um same father or
00:07:17Brian AtlasI have three baby daddies three are you good times um so two from one and then one from see this is where it gets really confusing
00:07:32Jennaum because I kind of just dipped out from the second guy but he knows now so it's not oh so you originally didn't tell him right yeah so so for the longest time there was only
00:07:44Jennatwo um and then I eventually told the other guy so so now there's three well there were always 30.
00:07:53Kikothe one kid's life guys so yeah okay so um can I ask a question on that I have a question so he so you you say you like
00:08:04Kikolater on decided to tell your child's father right did the man who like the other father did he think that was his actual child or did he know the whole time that that was somebody else's
00:08:15Jennachild he knew it was somebody else's and he wanted to act as if it was his own okay as long as it made a knowledgeable um and the other guy knew that I was pregnant the guy who got me pregnant knew I was pregnant and just kind of
00:08:28Brian Atlasdipped out just let me build a timeline here so the first guy oh god so let's talk about child number one
00:08:37Brian Atlasum right child number one right 17. 17 was with guy number one right Child Number Two was with guy number
00:08:47Priyawon again it wasn't really ever a thing like we were just casually dating no but I'm just okay so no he's trying to figure out if the first baby daddy was the father of the first Okay no Okay so
00:08:59Brian Atlasokay first one was only right okay so and then number two was with number two right number three was with number two I I had two boys with my
00:09:10Priyalittle third one so wait number three is with number three oh no so so first dad had first kid second second dad had the second two
00:09:21Priyakids no no one one two got it that's what we were trying to figure out so last last baby daddy had the last two kids okay so
00:10:11Jennasounding good right um well you gotta think the when I had my first child I was 19. um so I mean the father did not work out and then um so we split up let's do the
00:10:22Brian Atlasage let's do the age breakdown for the each of the kids so second child how old were you had her two years after right so 21 and then and then with the third guy with the
00:10:35Jennanumber three and four kids three and four well like I got pregnant like right after I had my daughter I was like 22 to like four months after I got pregnant so there's only a year between those two
00:10:52Jenna17 and having the first kid no shoes for the streets yo 17. I was 19. oh I got pregnant when I was 18. it was seventeen
00:11:04Brian AtlasI think they met they did yeah you had your first kid at 17. no my my oldest is 17. at 19 you had you had your first kid right so you were and so your last kid
00:11:15Brian Atlasyou had when you were 23 24 24 okay so yeah okay got it um sorry are you aiming you have a new you've been dating a guy for a year now
00:11:26Jennaare you aiming to have more kids or what no I'm all done having children I'm totally satisfied with what I'm done with the kids absolutely okay yeah so do the three kids know their dads yes okay
00:11:38Brian Atlasare they in their lives yeah yeah so everything did one of the I and I think I might have heard this correctly one of the
00:11:48Brian Atlasdads thought one of the kids was his but wasn't or did I miss hear that no no we were trying to establish because she said that the second do you want to explain it
00:11:59Jennayeah go for it okay yeah so basically what happened was I had my first kid okay I think I was 18 I got pregnant I had when I was 19. we split up uh after that the that father went to Alaska at
00:12:12Jennathe time um and then I was having a cage like casual dating thing um and you guys think my baby at the time was a year old um and then I got pregnant again and
00:12:24JennaDidn't Know I Was Pregnant and was dating somebody new and I had to explain to them that I was pregnant and he's like we've never had
00:12:34Nicolesex so how are you pregnant and I'm like obviously yeah but he he wanted to be there so he stepped and then you went on to have two
00:12:45Priyachildren with him right okay oh got it so it was the guy that you were seeing at the time that's not the father of your third and fourth child the one that you were seeing when you found out you
00:12:55Priyawere pregnant with your second child I'm sorry
00:13:04PriyaI said so for your second child you didn't realize that you were pregnant for a minute and you were dating somebody new right is that the is the person that you were dating at that time the father of your third third or fourth okay okay that was what I was trying to
00:13:16Jennafigure out was and he was the one that was wanting to step up and like pause right but the guy who got me pregnant okay this is where he's gonna get really complicated because this is gonna get
00:13:25JennaIcky um he also has I think five kids now okay and all different moms got it okay so I'm just like yeah so I'm just like in the middle of his situation do you get what I'm saying yeah totally you
00:13:38Jennaknow yeah so where I come from that's kind of normal got it I want to say it's normal that doesn't sound right but it happens yeah yeah I get you know small town laughs
00:13:49Jennayou said oh not much to do people get bored next you said this is fairly common where I come from where you come from in
00:13:59JennaMichigan correct up yeah so like how many people would you say partition my situation baby daddies oh God I a lot
00:14:12DanI couldn't even tell you I don't think he means just multiple kids with multiple dads I think he means like that many different kids with that many different dads who also have that many
00:14:21Jennakids with different moms oh a lot a lot so is it all just all the same people it's a group of like twenties
00:14:33Kikolike it's a really small town people have to be maybe this is where we get the dating the like the like I mean if it's a small town and she has her one of
00:14:45Kikoher kids his son or father has five with five different women like the odds of dating someone you're at least related to by like step is like it's getting higher and higher you know what I mean
00:15:00Danthere's no way to call my kids know we're good you want if I ask how were you how were you raised like did you were you raised from a very
00:15:10Jennasimilar situation no I was raised very traditionally okay so like white picket fence one boy one girl happily married they they only ever had
00:15:22Danchildren together right like no children with other right got it interesting um
00:15:32Brian Atlasdid the dads did you say that the dads have multiple baby mamas too type situation or yeah oh hold on um
00:15:44TTS Readerlet me interrupt for a second after hearing this novel let's hear the first thoughts from each person in the room lol it happens
00:15:56Jennahappens uh sure I guess we can go away
00:16:03DanI find it interesting that that this happened coming from I guess what you would describe as like a traditional nuclear family like did you have like a really good did you have a good relationship with your parents growing I
00:16:13Jennastill do yes okay yeah I think that's I'd love to kind of like do you want to know like a big factor of why yeah maybe I am the way I am um in Michigan I have
00:16:25Brian Atlasa mental illness um I'm bipolar one okay what is anybody else here bipolar what a question one question
00:16:40Dandidn't you say in the previous show Kiko that you have bipolar no maybe you were just thinking that yeah the internet is out to get Kiko they
00:16:51Kikothink she's bipolar and on only fans is it the different thing uh anxiety and depression is a little bit different than bipolar disorder yeah yeah okay for
00:17:02Brian Atlassome reason okay I don't know where I got that from I don't know but it's a square rectangle wait so there's there's I don't want to blame it on that you know what I mean that seems like a pop
00:17:12Jennaout but I feel like that's that is a lot of issues so there's two kinds of bipolar right there's type one type two what what is the difference so I got like super excited when I found out it was one right because I was like 17 when
00:17:25JennaI got diagnosed and I was like ooh bipolar one that's gotta be good right number one no that's the worst you can have um oh yeah um so like I can have manic episodes
00:17:37Jennaum it's it's awful it's like so type 2's done more tame two is more up down up down up down um one you're more like all the way down
00:17:46Jennayou know and then don't want to get all bad moving and then like and then I have other moments of where I'm like on cloud nine they're like a lot a lot of artists
00:17:56Milanare bipolar can I ask you a question um is it like hypomania or Mania both both so you experience like tame forms of mania and then like extreme
00:18:07Jennaforms right yeah exactly like I'm medicated now um and so I've been actually pretty healthy for the last um probably about a year and a half I would say really not that long to be
00:18:18Danhonest with you oh good for you so and just in terms of your children like first of all how are you taking care of all of them or are you taking care of some and fathers are taking care of
00:18:31Jennaothers it's a group effort um I actually went to jail and I lost um like I don't want to say I lost
00:18:42Jennacustody because I still have custody but like I had them full and then it turned to like every other weekend and I don't know if you've ever tried to bond with your child over every other weekend it doesn't really work my oldest son has
00:18:53Jennaalways been with me okay um just because me and his dad are like on good terms um but with the other um three I would say we're getting there you know what I mean every year it gets
00:19:06Brian Atlasa little bit better we're getting better at co-parenting and stuff like that um how does uh you talked a little bit about the bipolar stuff how does that manifest itself in your life is it
00:19:18Jennaum like are there certain things that said it or you used to set it off at least oh like a trigger yeah um that's you know it's interesting that you said that um because I really don't know what my trigger is yet which is crazy right because I'm 36 and you'd
00:19:31Brian Atlasthink I would know by now but I do not know what my triggers are but so what are the like symptoms for you is it impulse control type stuff is it right I'm really impulsive
00:19:41Jennaum like the biggest thing is you you don't want somebody to go manic like if I go manic I mean I think there's like you know I can fly I'm gonna jump off the roof yeah
00:19:52Jennabased you know what I mean it's bad it's the reality of what it can be I think people just think it's up down up
00:20:03Jennadown up down but it's it's what's the tallest building you've ever actually nobody's ever let me jump so I don't know maybe off of like a small roof I think you know like if Second
00:20:15JennaStory you survive that right oh yeah for sure I'm sure I've fallen a lot of trees that you know yeah have you ever skydived no but I would
00:20:26Brian Atlaslove to my grandma has but so when you're when you're in a manic State you you want to literally jump off of buildings not not like you're just wild you're just out there
00:20:37Milanum okay you just and it's like you're okay very quick the definition of mania is essentially like eccentric behaviors that aren't defined by your
00:20:47MilanNorms so like gambling uh being sexually promiscuous spending lots of money um things like that things that can like self-sabotage or damage your life in
00:20:56Milansome way can dogs be bipolar you know what dogs yeah because my dog used to like try to hump everything and then have periods of depression wait wait would your dog have like
00:21:09Brian Atlasperiods of depression or something oh he's just horny he's just horny though she's just like trying to hump inanimate objects too like fire hydrants and so yeah the chat was my dog bipolar
00:21:21Brian Atlasum okay so um the original soup chat was hey uh what's everyone's first reaction I I don't want to linger on it too long just
00:21:32Brian Atlasso we can move on but uh Billy Ray in here I was just thinking about the child support must it's significant yeah well but what if they're like
00:21:43JennaI mean are they doing okay financially well the great news is my son actually works at McDonald's and makes as much money as I do he's 17 right he's a hard worker
00:21:54Jennaum and my daughter she actually probably makes more money than her dad does um babysitting okay um and then my two youngest boys are still pretty young yet you know what I mean um so they're they're just starting
00:22:07Jennaout but one's trying to work at Domino's and I mean they're all good kids like I got really lucky I'm the only mess okay good times good times wow uh did anyone
00:22:19Milanelse have a thought otherwise um that's a that's a very complex situation to be in and what I think of when I first hear that is just like all of the emotions and how the kids are
00:22:30Milanimpacted by that and how they feel about it and what you've gone through et cetera et cetera it's a very complicated situation
00:22:40TTS ReaderKiko roast enjoy a donated 100 to Kiko discount Ariana Grande what's it like being the least popular girl at the owner Mike just joshing you I love you
00:22:52TTS Readeryou should team up with Brian to start enough you could make two hundred dollars per month easily your boyfriend is Ascend Proverbs 21 19.
00:23:13Kikothank you for your comment um that was a lot to unpack um only thing I can take away from that is I will never be starting in only fans
00:23:25Kikoum no hate towards it but that's just not um never never no and I've never par took an orgy so I don't know how that
00:23:35Priyafeels how did it feel for you okay there you have it um do you mind me asking you a question and you can of course not you don't have to
00:23:46Priyaanswer it at all are there any specific things that stick out in your head that maybe your bipolar has affected the way that you parent your children um I mean obviously the biggest thing is
00:23:58Jennaum just not being able to be there for them right being in and out of jail is you know that's devastating um I think that's the biggest thing you
00:24:09Jennaknow what I mean I'm really lucky that my kids love me you know what I mean like genuinely because like I meet a lot of people that do not have the bond that I have with my children yeah you know what I mean um are all your children are they located
00:24:22Priyaclose to you I know you said that you have them for most of them part-time so yeah my daughter's not the farthest one away and she's like 40 minutes okay not bad at all so yeah all right let's keep it moving um
00:24:34Milanrelationship status situations I really don't know how to follow that one up but I did get roasted last time for say that for saying that I was dating talking to courting whatever to two different men
00:24:49Brian Atlassexually okay um so you're not single but dating two men
00:24:58Brian Atlasyes okay yes but not intimate yeah sure we talked about that last stream but you're not sleeping with either of them allegedly allegedly not until there's a
00:25:10Brian Atlascommitment but they can sleep with other women if they'd like are there any other men in the picture no none none you're not are you on any dating apps or no I don't do that stuff you don't do dating apps yeah okay
00:25:22Milanum longest relationship three and a half years and almost four and we live together it was a monogamous relationship closed on both ends okay ended about it almost two years ago are you dating um
00:25:35Brian Atlassomeone here while you were in California someone in Phoenix that okay came to California yeah okay no because you you've been in California for like a week right no fleeing type situation or
00:25:48Madisonanything no I don't do that no okay Madison what about you I am taking an admit in a very committed relationship um then my current relationship is my longest it's almost 11 months and like
00:26:01Brian Atlasfive days or something like that all right did you guys have a question for Mia looks like you maybe had something on the two well
00:26:11Milanjust in so you say so you're courting two men it's difficult to do the labels because like when you say you're talking that can mean that you're sleeping with them I say courting because that that
00:26:21Milanimplies that like you're just talking do those men know that you're seeing yes multiple yes they've actually both preferred that like they date other people and that I have the option to
00:26:33Dandate other people as well until there's a finalized commitment okay and how do you think how do you think that they actually view this like if they're they're allowed to they're allowed to sleep with other people
00:26:45Milanthey're not getting anything from you sexually but you guys are dating yeah well one of them one of them is completely abstinent we met at Mass
00:26:57Milanso the other one is a little bit older about 10 to 15 years older than me and um he just got a divorce like a year ago so he's just taking it very very slow
00:27:08Danessentially okay now the guy who's abstinent is that that's a religious Choice he doesn't want to have someone who's always married yes yes okay um do you mind if I ask are you a virgin no I'm not you're not okay I'm not I
00:27:20Milangrew up Christian though like Protestant suburbs like why pick a fence like she said the whole shebang now the guy who's abstinent I I mean
00:27:32Danthat's very odd like to like to know that you're just head to head with another guy the divorcee I can see him being like like no offense I can see him kind of shrugging it off all right I'm out of a
00:27:45Danmarriage and now I'm dating all right that's how I see it but a guy who's looking at you is potentially the girl who's gonna take his virginity who's gonna who he's gonna dedicate his life to um has he been like very open and honest
00:27:56Milanwith you about like how he feels and what has he actually told you yeah um oh God I don't know if I'm allowed to say that because our conversations are so private um but we've had in-depth conversations
00:28:06Milanabout sexuality the church what that means what I want what he wants where we'd be going how we should take it slow et cetera et cetera I get what you're saying about the divorce say and I think
00:28:18Milanyou're spot on about that one in terms of finding someone that's going to want like a long-term commitment for me like a guy that's abstinent from church uh dating a girl who had a little bit of a
00:28:30Milanwild phase in the beginning of college and then simmered down a bit I totally understand that but you know you know a lot of Catholics practice forgiveness and understanding are you going to have a problem if you have to wait till marriage if you decide to settle down
00:28:42Danwith this man no no no I've made that promise yeah and what is it about him so you said you already have your doubts a little bit about the divorcee yeah of course questions are so what's keeping
00:28:53Danyou from just decide on I feel like I'm putting you on the spot on what's keeping you from just saying oh like this is the guy who's going to commit to me long term I love him it's awesome and like like what's keeping you from just saying I'm sorry are you talking about
00:29:06Milancan can you phrase the question are you talking about the abstinian guy what's keeping you from just saying can I tell you the truth sure I would one hun if he asked me to be his girlfriend right now I would 100 say yes it's because he wants to get other people
00:29:19Milanso I just like so he also wants to date other people yes wait and this is the guy that's waiting for marriage yes yeah and he's Catholic yeah yeah so I mean he's a Catholic in New York City they like to get girls numbers they like to flirt but then they don't take it
00:29:32Michaelafurther than that how long have you been dating him I guess that's fair a few weeks oh so it's a super early on yeah it's new got it I do have a question for you sure uh you had said that you made a
00:29:43Milanpromise does that mean like you're waiting till marriage as well or so yeah um I mean if we're gonna get into it uh I I grew up Protestant and uh when I went off to college from like about 18
00:29:53Milanto 20 years old is when I believe that post-modern feminism like on Twitter like really indoctrinated me I wasn't taught anything about sex it was like spread your legs act like a man
00:30:04Milanand just give it out to anybody and that's it and um I learned the hard way that that is no way to live at all so yes I did make a
00:30:14Milanpromise to myself and to the church to God that I would not have sex on the first date second date third date fourth date whatever stop the cap Brian are you kidding me I literally lay everything
00:30:27Milanout here come on come on that's come on no come on this notorious like you can't be like a like a 304 and then like come back to your traditional Beginnings is
00:30:37Milanjust BS come on I think it's you can thank you so much I don't so much you can right you can I just don't know okay why don't you buy it
00:30:51Brian Atlasthe women no I'm saying it absolutely happens like and you hear about it all the time that that is quite I suppose literally what someone who's a born-again virgin is
00:31:01Brian Atlasthey had sex in the past and now they're changing their standard and they're going to be waiting until marriage but you can understand that you know because you are dating a guy it sounds like this the other guy who you're dating the
00:31:14Milandivorcee there's no is he also a religious guy who's waiting until marriage no but he understands my
00:31:23Nicolelike my like why would a guy who's would you tell me can I give my opinion go ahead unsolicited I'm sure tell us about
00:31:33Nicolethe trend I think drop the boulder divorce say be committed to the good man who's Catholic who's abstinent because he will be a
00:31:45Nicolegood man to you and for you and will help you in this the other one I mean if you're serious about going back to the church and waiting for
00:31:55Milanmarriage and you truly have this good Catholic abstinence let's not why not go into why not drop the other day because because I'm not gonna sit here and pretend that I'm like some good Catholic
00:32:06Milangirl no no Catholic no like you know what I mean like my devotion is not no but you can get a good man and the good man can help you become a better yeah one thousand percent but if that man that I'm attracted to at mass is saying hey I would like to court and date other
00:32:19Milanpeople before we make a commitment I'm gonna respect that and if it's somebody that I like I'm gonna respect that and I'm also okay with um relationships and which is closed on my end and open on the other so I'm not one
00:32:32Milanfor conventional okay behavioral relationships I'm not trying to promote traditionalism I'm just trying to say what works best for me my neurochemistry my body and my brain okay so you're open to polygamy
00:32:43NicoleZoe polygeny oh which means closed on my end open on the man's end okay but if you marry him you won't will you get married in the Catholic church because they won't allow that
00:32:54Nicoleit depends I mean that's a whole journey ahead of me there's still time to work I just I'm just rooting for the abstinent Catholic man so trust me can I ask you a question actually sure
00:33:06Milanbecause like I'm curious because I have a lot to learn I think I mentioned that I have like I'm starting like a male dating advice sort of forum called menaschmia right now it's free because I don't feel like I'm educated enough on
00:33:17Milanthe subject to give out paid advice but I I like I said I did grow up in the church I resented it my parents were monogamous and I did not like them that we did not have a good relationship we do not speak so when I went off to
00:33:30Milancollege with no education no sexual education what I was left to my own devices and I was in the New York New York city so I just got sucked up by the secular world and I don't think it's that crazy that someone that grew up in
00:33:43Milanthe church is coming back to the church in a different way I'm just learning how to fit it into my life into like um a way that's not like I'm perfectly Catholic and traditional now but also
00:33:54Danhonest about my past you think a guy in the Catholic Church like would accept that uh yes yes I think there are plenty there are plenty of guys in the church who are not like
00:34:06Danlike view me as tarnish like they're they're not like looking that like if you were a virgin great but not every guy is looking for a virgin and I bought I've actually I've made this point on my channel before I think in the modern
00:34:18Dandating world when people say that body count is different for men versus women they are absolutely correct it is definitely different from men versus women but a lot of the numbers that I hear men throw out like I think a lot of the numbers
00:34:31Danare harsh for the exact reason that you brought up which is women you're how old are you 26 years old women your age and pretty much up to your age were completely indoctrinated into thinking
00:34:43Daninto having a completely deluded view of what sex actually is the men included so I it's not that I give women a pass I think that they still need to be accountable right and I still think that what you're doing right now this whole
00:34:56Danlike kind of born again I'm going to save my body for the man who I want to dedicate my life to I think that's great I think there are plenty of men who will see that and be like good enough like more than good enough that's great I know I just don't like the concept of
00:35:07Danbeing tarnished I don't like that but but but look just because you see that word used in comments does not mean that men will look at you as it does not mean
00:35:19Danthat a lot of men are going to look at you as just a completely used up asset like there are there are certain types of
00:35:27Danwomen who completely take pride in how sexualized they are who take pride in how many bodies they rack up there are women who think oh my God like I'm really behind when they hear their
00:35:39Danfriends body count that's that's what I used to think that's horrible that's what I used to do and I think that a lot of the stuff that I talk about a lot of the stuff that we talk about it's really because we don't want to be raising kids
00:35:51Danin a generation where a lot of the stuff that has become normalized is normalized I know I don't want my daughter growing up thinking like only fans is a good is a good option neither do I care I don't want my daughter growing up in a world
00:36:02Danwhere she thinks that she needs to use sex to make a man love her I don't want my son growing up in a world where he's exclusively objectifying women and we can I know you're a psych a psychro we
00:36:14Dancan get into the psychology and the hormones and all that stuff at a certain point later but no I I do think that she's spot on and the other thing that I would ask you is why won't you ask for the relationship this is something that
00:36:26Milanwomen women always want men to make the first move but what about this move to be honest um I'm a little scared okay a little scared so intimidated question for well
00:36:38PriyaI know Brian's opinion on this book question about your opinion on this I think that a lot of the times men want the women to ask do you really I think the woman should
00:36:50Priyaask well I'm not saying necessarily that they should ask but I think a lot of the times men want the woman to ask once you get to a certain point everything is nuanced
00:37:01Danum Myron refresh and fit um spells this out pretty well men are working from a deficit essentially so in order for because you guys have so many options
00:37:12Danrelative to the options that most men have it's a very small subset of men that have the abundance that allows them to be truly truly like picky right women
00:37:23Danfor the most part a lot of men are objectifying them check your DMs check your comments check your check your email her email she gets married every day okay like but like because you're
00:37:36Danworking from a deficit in terms of what you have to do in order to get that abundance you want the girl to almost be bought in a little bit more because it's going to be to balance out that power because you're going to want to stay more than her
00:37:49Danbecause you don't want to have to go back and have to put in all that work again to attract someone you don't have to put in the same amount of work just to get through the attraction that's why I call myself an attraction coach men need help attracting women women need
00:38:00Danhelp retaining men absolutely women need relationship advice men need attraction advice um I do think there are there are different options though like for instance me and her we we had like like the most basic
00:38:13Danon off relationship in the sense that like we dated for a brief period of time we ended up breaking up for logistical reasons and then like less than a year later through a weird sequence of events we ended up getting back together um I was the one who had broken up with
00:38:27Danher and what just lay it out there it's getting ready we'll throw her under the bus well the reason well well the reason why I say
00:38:38Danthat is because at that point it's going to be really difficult for me to expect her to ask me for a relationship when I've left it before sure so like I basically I didn't ask
00:38:51Danher for the relationship I basically told her I was like hey I know you're falling in love with me I'm falling in love with you too this is like like we're doing this so I didn't ask I basically told her like like we're in a relationship now um but I but you also just you know like
00:39:04Danwhen you know you know like yeah like like it's that kind of thing like at a certain point you're just like I know that I know this is exclusive I know we're not dating different people like I want you you want me like we're doing
00:39:13Danthis so yes I think that a lot of times men wanting women to ask first makes a ton of sense because of that deficit that I talked about and the work that men need to put in to attract them intimidating but but again that's
00:39:26Danbecause I think women also have this weird delusion where they like being chased but they hate the guys who are chasing them they want the thing they're chasing which is the guys who aren't chasing them so you
00:39:37Danlike this idea of a guy coming to you and asking but you don't actually want that want that guy also just to add to that thing um when it comes to
00:39:49Brian Atlasmaybe women should be the ones asking for the relationship do you think it's also related to women gate keep sex but men tend to gatekeep commitment or relationships that's what I was gonna say because you said like
00:40:01Kikowomen have an issue retaining men like keeping them so I feel like that's the reason why a lot of women don't want to ask a man for a relationship because if I feel like I have to ask him that puts
00:40:13KikoI feel like that puts a doubt in my mind that like does he even want to be here and especially when men are more known to have wandering eyes and not wanting
00:40:24Kikoto so it's like if he wants to go see and date other women and she's like no I want this and even if he agrees like I feel like in the back of my mind I'd always have doubts like he's abstinence we know he's not sexually engaging them
00:40:35Priyabut like is he still you know talking around dating around because if he has exactly what I meant when I said I was scared to ask so how long ago did you guys have this conversation about having
00:40:46Milanlike an open we went to like a young adult's mask sure and we met there and we basically just laid everything out on the table okay there was an immediate track but this was when you first started to talk to each other have you
00:40:58Priyahad a previous conversation after that okay yeah what about you what's your relationship status oh
00:41:09Nicolehow long have you been single I've go for about a year and a half 1.5 years your longest relationship
00:41:18Brian Atlastwo years two-ish years two years okay uh so you were on our show two weeks ago three weeks ago two or three Sundays ago
00:41:28Brian Atlasokay and you posted publicly on your Instagram you had actually met a guy while you were here in Santa Barbara is that correct I did yes the next morning after I was on your show getting roasted
00:41:41Brian Atlasthat I hit my wall so the day after you were on the show you met a dude who did and do we I don't know if we do we we got some screenshots
00:41:51Brian Atlasactually of your story that you posted uh life is wild one day you're on the podcast being told your standards are too high because of your age and the next day a man who has every quality you mentioned approaches you eating your
00:42:04Brian Atlasburger and reading a book and asks you to come hang out with him all day for inquiry inquiring minds 36 years old 6'3 never married no kids business owner financial planner who has all his money
00:42:16Brian Atlasducks in a row funny kind-hearted paid for everything including the burger I was having solo when he approached me women know your worth
00:42:24Brian Atlasextending my Santa Barbara vacay through Wednesday I love it yeah and I think there's is there one more tab over dressed well not in Plano
00:42:38Brian Atlasand wearing a real watch if you watch so yeah on the episode you said something about if a guy doesn't have a watch that I don't remember exactly what you said
00:42:50Brian Atlasyou want me to recap the watch yeah well okay so a couple questions here you were this guy approached you um
00:42:59Nicoleseem what happened you're still single I am still single didn't do you gonna meet up with him while you're here or what I'm not what happened
00:43:09Nicolehe doesn't have the values that I want uh he's a great guy I have nothing negative to say about him but I am Catholic and when we got a little deeper into that I was like
00:43:22Nicoleno I think I think I need to actually just fully focus on a man who's religious and has faith and he didn't but he had all of those
00:43:30Brian Atlasfantastic qualities and it was nice did y'all no come on no you didn't you know
00:43:39Brian Atlasyou know I'm so sorry I'm so sorry so okay how many we just met how many
00:43:50Nicoledays did did you well you just met I mean you're asking if I slept with him after going out with him once that's pretty people do that fairly right
00:43:59Nicolethat's pretty common okay but no we will meet up with him I mean how many times did you meet up with him um only two nights okay yeah two nights so the first well one was like afternoon right when he approached me
00:44:12Nicolewhen I was eating my lunch and I was reading a book and he asked what I was reading and he was very nice gentlemen had a great afternoon and then we went out to dinner the second night again great conversation
00:44:23Nicoleum but I just through conversation learned a couple of things that for me would be difficult in a long-term partnership so what are the couple things
00:44:36Nicolethe religious stuff right just the religiousness yeah so he doesn't you know he's I think agnostic or not really religious at all um and then just um
00:44:47Nicolejust a couple things about him that would just be difficult for me male striper what no no what's the issue here well I don't I mean you kind of you showed sort of a
00:44:58Nicolephoto of him and so I don't want to say anything because that's his private life hopefully on your Instagram so yeah but I didn't post publicly what you're asking me so I'd like to pass on that question can
00:45:11MilanI ask a question yes of course um do you think that you can be any age and get any man that you want no you don't think that no I don't so what do you think
00:45:20NicoleI think that at different ages men and women can obtain different partners so
00:45:28Nicolefor example I'm 39 so is a 25 year old man going to marry me most likely not do I want to marry a 25 year old man also no
00:45:43TTS Readerhey Brian I experienced a not so great situation with someone I worked with who lied about her intentions and caused emotional trauma couple of years back Flash Forward to today I'm hesitate to
00:45:56Brian Atlasshow interests to a person that is interested in me I worked with who lied about her intentions and caused emotional trauma so are you like did you get me too Prometheus uh if you did sorry to hear
00:46:09Danthat um it sounded like you had something you wanted it honestly I mean yeah it's a little vague but I take away from that that uh
00:46:20Danthat abuse goes both ways that it can traumatize both men and women sounds like he's super scared to even approach girls if I'm reading that correctly definitely afraid even if he gets on a date to share his true intentions or getting to something as
00:46:34Brian Atlashe's afraid he's gonna get his heart broken that's what I took away yeah he says he's hesitant to show interest in a person that is interested in me because he thinks he's going to
00:46:44Brian Atlasget tricked tricked into what trick what I I didn't again what what happened but uh
00:46:54Brian Atlasyou know you could just swear off women that's an option I'm just you know I just swear I'm off you know that that's a salute that's an easy
00:47:04Brian Atlassolution that's terrible live a life AI girlfriends are coming I guess that's what you're gonna um
00:47:18MilanI feel like Brian would absolutely have an AI girlfriend and like once a robot perfect girl no why would I have what why would like hold on when you say an AI girlfriend
00:47:29Priyalike a digital to keep me company huh no no no so it's like Brian they're creating these um essentially VR um these ways to have like virtual
00:47:40Priyareality girlfriends like that movie what was that movie yeah um exactly no with Joaquin Phoenix yes Spike Jones the director it's called her yeah yeah yeah nah that that would
00:47:53Milanbe kind of lame no but no I'm saying like what if she they do like a physical body and make it warm as like a human being temperature I'm down wives
00:48:08Priyaand it could like perform other tasks too like do my laundry yeah let's go honestly so there are articles articles that have come out recently about these AI like girlfriends or sex
00:48:20Priyarobots that basically um talk about how they can give the exact same sexual pleasure um and emotional pleasure that real people can and so there's no need for real life relationships
00:48:37Danthey absolutely can't and that's the problem well they might be able to give pleasure but that's it I like them pleasure well absolutely but I mean I'm I'm arguing again
00:48:52TTS ReaderI think it's absolutely stupid sorry for the lack transparency she showed romantic Antics only to lie about
00:49:02TTS Readerher intentions with me this same person is causing inappropriate actions within the workplace each swim in I work with that time hesitant trusting yeah
00:49:14Brian Atlaswell you know what well I kind of disagree with that a little bit because because that's once you're out of college like it depends on where you work right if you work at McDonald's and yeah you
00:49:26Brian Atlascould date the person but if you're like a high up it's dangerous a tricky for me no but like let's say you're on there's not like uh impropriety because you're her uh you're you're Superior you're
00:49:37Brian Atlasboth on the same level let's say maybe you're in different departments I don't think like I is it that like workplace I think romances no it can get messy because the work is the exact reason why
00:49:49Kikobecause like obviously he works at a job that he's not willing to leave yeah for this reason so if you're going to date someone at a career that you're it's a career and not just like a part-time job for you and you're not willing to step away from that it's you know no
00:50:01Kikorelationship is 100 positive to go well so well okay when you start that you're willing to not just like you're inhibiting your whole Workforce by doing that so idealistically I think it's okay to date
00:50:13Brian Atlasco-workers however in this current dating landscape in the current workplace landscape I I strongly recommend against it uh especially if you're men uh there's always exceptions to the rule and I totally get that but I
00:50:26Brian Atlasdon't think it's something that but but I in like on the most basic level I don't object to co-workers dating each other but because of the current landscape when it comes to the male
00:50:38Jennafemale Dynamics in the workplace strongly recommend against it but I don't have any quarrels with it I live in a really small town so working with somebody and dating you know what I mean that's really I mean you said you're
00:50:51Jennacurrently working at a gas station like I did bartend oh okay with my boyfriend for several years and yeah I liked it sure so I think that there's a different
00:51:00PriyaDynamic around a place like a restaurant or a bar as a workplace compared to like a corporate job or did you say where it worked
00:51:17PriyaI think what it was is this woman in like made her intentions seem like she was really interested in having a relationship with this man when they really weren't and she
00:51:28Danmaybe skewed or it was a situation a bit I I would venture a guess that maybe he was someone above her in in some sort of corporate setting and she basically like
00:51:39Kikohoney potted him and yeah maybe getting fired or like maybe being demoted why don't you send another TTS give us some more details
00:51:52TTS Readeroh Fat Bastard donated 100 nice get in my belly I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs I
00:52:02TTS Readerwant my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs chill these baby back ribs all right thank you fat back yeah right yeah you could get those
00:52:13Brian Atlasribs for like 15 at Chili's probably I think I'm gonna do a doctor evil impersonation the rest of the show um
00:52:24Brian Atlasum all right thank you fat bastard appreciate it okay uh so just going back to you um yeah I know we're still we're still on that so
00:52:36Brian Atlasuh okay you met the guy it didn't work out
00:52:42Brian Atlasshe didn't smash no smash zero smash what was the thing with the watches and the flannel I think we were gonna get into that
00:52:53Nicoleyou're not a family so I was okay are we gonna start with flannel or watches yeah just recap okay so I said last time I was on here about watches that
00:53:03Nicoleum when a man shows up to a date wearing a real watch a non-i-watch um I appreciate that and I think an iWatch yeah I think an iWatch can come
00:53:14Nicoleoff as a little bit rude like a phone on the table like it's like because it's there to connect you and you keep all this stuff I also think from a style perspective like a timepiece is very personal for a man it's something that's
00:53:27Nicolepassed down it's something that completes an outfit and I'm not saying people like oh are you saying it's a red flag if he's wearing an eye wash no I'm not of course I'm not saying that it's perfectly fine to wear an eye watch what I'm saying is if he shows up wearing a
00:53:40Nicoleproper timepiece it's very attractive like a woman showing up in heels sure she can show up in flats and that's cute and maybe you don't like heels and it's fine you don't need to wear them but they boom they give you that extra little something and people had a
00:53:52Nicoleproblem with me having this opinion about a man's watch that's it what about if there's no watch it's the other kind of a no I mean it's negative no I wouldn't say it's a negative I would just say my
00:54:05Nicolefirst preference is that he's wearing a classic watch classic watch classic watch it doesn't need to be expensive it doesn't need to be it's a good watch it's great it doesn't need to be
00:54:16Brian Atlasexpensive no but is that I'm not saying that it needs to be an expensive watch is that like a 10 out of 10 more you would appreciate yeah I would appreciate that it doesn't need to cost a lot of money it just
00:54:28Nicoleit's like it's you know men don't have a lot of a lot of women okay he's got like shoes belt watch to me it's like balloon yeah I I don't know what got people so upset about
00:54:41Nicoleme talking about targeted yeah it's a little specific but it's but see I but it's an it's a little outward token that's like a reflection of something else about a man right it's it's about
00:54:54Nicolethe watch yes but it's just a reflection of part of his personality it tells a watch tells a little something about a man you can deny that but it does a little bit
00:55:05Nicolewhat what does a no no watch tell about a man he's probably unorganized and runs late no I very much disagree with that that's
00:55:17Nicolea ridiculous generalization about men wearing watches that's ridiculous but no no watch is just neutral notice whatever I just wanted to really watch what's the flannel issue I'm actually
00:55:29KikoPro iWatch the man that cares about his steps you know okay thank you Kiko I more have a problem with your current pants situation than the plan well it's warm
00:55:40Brian Atlastoday it's was it freaking 80 degrees or something
00:55:46Brian Atlaslisten I am wearing I am role playing today as a I'm not gonna even say it no don't say that I'm not gonna say it but I got some tall socks on I'm not trying
00:55:58Priyait like are they compression socks Brian yeah they're compression socks it's like world's strongest it's just like you know he's wearing a zip for a long time
00:56:10Priyaand these like oversized boxers like boxes yes they look like humongous boxes I'm wearing boxers
00:56:22Brian Atlasoh yeah well Priya let me speak on your attire you look like you're about to go on Safari first off can you stand up please stand up show them this and also look at look do you see how bunched up that is
00:56:35Brian Atlaswhen you're sitting it looks like you have a boner
00:56:45Brian AtlasI guess it's best to keep my pen from mixing with the company Inc Brian I'm Pro flannel Alice in Chains let's go uh it's a kick-ass band what's Alice in Chains what was that
00:56:56Brian Atlasgood well it's like rooster and then right it's like grunge early 90s mid 90s grunge um yeah I think it Prometheus much appreciated yeah Pearl Jam's one of
00:57:07Priyamy favorite bands but okay Priya you literally okay like you have too much can you can can you can you stand up and show them
00:57:17Brian Atlasyeah so it's about to be August in California it's hot yeah you can't see below the tape so I'm wearing some shorts
00:57:32Brian Atlasthese are shorts haters are gonna hate haters are gonna hate but um that's the wrong camera [Laughter]
00:57:42Brian AtlasBrian I have stated in my stance on your flannel so many times just don't wear it on a date you can you know what I'm doubling down you can't I'm doubling down I'm gonna
00:57:53Brian Atlaswear this on a date today we're gonna wear my shorts I'm gonna wear my shorts he wears this and not I wear my sweatpants but he wears them wear my sweatpants on that actually it's an
00:58:04Jennaacceptable outfit where I come from I was about to say sorry yeah it's flannel yeah it really is yeah the flannel is fine I think that would be considered casually dry see you gotta