She Dated 50 Men In 50 Days?! | Dating Talk #105

Date: 2023-10-02

Duration: 5h 27m

Guests

Brian Atlas

CClaire (DT105)>

AAlexa (DT105)>

EEmily (DT105)>

SSophia (DT105)>

QQ Jquan (DT139)>

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_00TTS/Chat(audience)

SPEAKER_01Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_02Amy(guest)

SPEAKER_03Claire(guest)

SPEAKER_04Sam(guest)

SPEAKER_05Zoe(guest)

SPEAKER_07Q(guest)

SPEAKER_08Alexa(guest)

SPEAKER_10Sophia(guest)

SPEAKER_12Emily(guest)

SPEAKER_13Lynn(guest)

Key Moments

ControversyQ delivers extended explanation of biological basis for body count double standard using oxytocin, vasopressin, paternity uncertainty, orgasm gap, and sexual disgust research.

“paternity uncertainty... oxytocin and vasopressin... women experience a lot more sexual regret... the orgasm gap... sexual disgust”

OtherEmily reveals ex-boyfriend (cheater) has been mailing her $3k cash and $2k in weed post-breakup for ~a year with no solicitation.

“he's probably watching... he sends me money sometimes and weed... total maybe three grand... probably 2000 in weed”

QuoteBrian pitches scheduling automated 'good morning' texts via iPhone accessibility feature as a hack for forgetful/autistic texters.

“there's a thing in the accessibility section of your iPhone where you can automatically send out a text message every single day at a specific time”

OtherSam reveals during the show she snapped the guy she had sex with 4 days prior and he texted back that he was watching the show.

“I kind of called him in the bathroom... he was like I lowkey wish you mentioned my name”

OtherSophia discloses she has sent 30+ unanswered texts to a man who has gone silent after she moved to California.

“like a lot... how many give me a number... it was never an issue in the past... yes but it wouldn't be all at once”

OtherSam discloses she had ~30 men in her rotation during summer after high school breakup (age 16-17), and received ~$1k from sugar daddy offers on Tinder before getting banned.

“maybe a grand... my rent for my parents... I got banned from Tinder but I got the money”

OtherSophia shares she has had multiple car breakdowns in California and is helped each time because she is a young female, citing female privilege.

“I am more vulnerable so when I'm stuck on the side of the road... I have been very fortunate that everyone who stopped was very nice”

QuoteEmily argues the biggest struggle facing women is men claiming to be women: 'you can be a cow, do whatever you want, but you're not going to be a woman.'

“I think it's actually commendable... the biggest struggle women face is you can just put on some tits and makeup and be one of us”

OtherSophia discloses she has endometriosis, was denied minimally invasive surgery in the US, and had to go abroad for treatment.

“I have endometriosis which is a women's issue... they wouldn't give it to me in the United States I had to go out of the country”

Topics Discussed

Guest introductions and relationship statuses

Guests introduce themselves (name, age, occupation). Each guest describes their current relationship status, longest relationship, and dating history. Covers Zoe's roster, Sam's bipolar diagnosis breakup and hot girl summer, Claire's situationship and virgin status, Sophia's multi-year ambiguous friendship with a divorced man, Amy's 5-year relationship ended by cheating, Lynn's dating app experience.

Texting habits and communication in relationships

Brian admits he does not text daily even in relationships; describes himself as autistic re: utility of texts. Debate on whether consistency in texting signals interest. Brian suggests scheduling automated 'good morning' texts via iPhone accessibility. Discussion of letting someone miss you vs. constant contact.

Body count, pair bonding, and double standards

Discussion of male vs. female body count preferences. Q explains oxytocin/vasopressin science, paternity uncertainty, orgasm gap, and sexual disgust as biological explanations for gender differences. Debate on whether the double standard is actually a 'different standard.' Emily's story about ex-boyfriend who cheated then mailed cash and weed post-breakup. Sam's sugar daddy experiences on Tinder.

Brian's ideal woman list

Brian reads from written notes his preferences: any race (slight preference Asian/white women), petite, no plastic surgery, minimal makeup, large labia preference, introverted/quiet personality, no heavy drinking, low body count (under 10), no cluster-B personality disorders (BPD, NPD, HPD, APD). Spirited debate from panel on whether these preferences are reasonable or a double standard.

Mental illness, therapy, and relationship compatibility

Sam discloses bipolar type 1; ex left her because of it. Debate on whether mental illness is a reasonable dating disqualifier. Brian says he prefers no major mental disorders but acknowledges exceptions. Q argues personality disorders recur in relationships and therapy is insufficient. Claire discusses panic attacks and benefit of therapy for communication. Brian shares his own anxiety/panic attack history and preference for solution-focused approaches over talk therapy.

Herpes, STD risk, and dating disclosure

Recurring donor 'Jay Butler' asks whether panel would sleep with / date someone with genital herpes. Panel goes around: most say deal-breaker or heavily conditional. Discussion of legal liability for non-disclosure. Sophia says only her future husband matters; Claire says strongly committed relationship might be exception. Brian says 100% deal-breaker. Q defers briefly.

Female privilege, male gaze, and body standards

Zoe cites Barbie movie monologue about impossible beauty standards for women. Brian and Q argue men face more uncontrollable physical criteria (height, penis size, balding). Discussion of 'male gaze' vs female gaze. Panel surveys percentage of men they find physically attractive (responses range from 2% to 60%). Emily argues biggest struggle facing women is biological males claiming female identity. Discussion of wage gap being debunked vs. earnings gap nuance. Sophia discusses endometriosis surgery being denied in US while gender-affirming surgery is accessible.

Transgender identity and dating preferences

Panel discusses definition of 'woman.' Most panel members define as adult human female / XX chromosomes. Claire distinguishes trend-based vs. genuine gender dysphoria. Debate on whether a man declining to date a trans woman who has had bottom surgery is prejudice or preference. Brian explains genitalia preference; eventually panel largely agrees preference is valid.

Abortion, Christianity, and foster care

Sophia (pro-life, Christian) and Claire (pro-choice, Christian) debate abortion. Sam distinguishes irresponsible casual sex abortions vs. difficult-circumstance abortions. Amy suggests funding should go to foster care instead of Planned Parenthood. Claire discloses personal experience in the foster care system.

Gun ownership and closing segment

Donation question: would any girls date a man who legally owns a firearm. Sam says she would not feel comfortable with a gun in the house given her mental health. Most others are neutral or conditionally OK. Show wraps with quick body count round-robin: Zoe=0, Sam=no comment (over 10 implied), Claire=0, Emily=one hand/1, Sophia=1, Amy=3, Lynn=not stated, Brian pleads the fifth.

Transcript

Page 5 of 6

ZoeI give myself a six I sometimes I say 6.9 on a good day wait so 10 now I feel like really

Zoeconceited um I don't know how to explain my reasoning female in nine nine you're

Clairenine yeah I think I mean I mean it's kind of hard to I mean based on my own opinion not everyone's going to be attracted to me but I I don't think there are a lot of perfect tens out there and I think I'm a conventionally

Brian Atlasattractive person so so you're one point off of a 10 I mean here okay I'm just gonna come out and say I'm just gonna come out and say it there are no tens or nines at

Zoethis table that's your opinion think that rating your looks like it's it like looks are very subjective there's not really like a there's no like standard

Zoelike there is some degree of objectivity to it there is yes but like maybe I don't want to put myself in that standard maybe like my rating of it is not based on that standard well but okay

Brian Atlasso but you're here's the thing your perception of yourself does not determine how other people view you or see you in the world right but it

Brian Atlassaid okay so here if I think I'm a billionaire but my bank account which is something that that's external if I have a hundred bucks in it I'm not a billionaire yeah

Brian Atlasobviously if okay if if I was obese and honestly look I'm I need to lose like 20 or 30 pounds I'm kind of I got a dab by right now it's

Brian AtlasI'm disappointed in myself I'm working on it I can't sit here with my dad bod and say I'm a 10 now if I was OB Beast that would be even worse right

Brian Atlasright now I'm just got a dad B but still I'm up I'm up wow I got okay that was intense um I can't claim the you can't claim like you can't claim the b a 10 if you

Brian Atlasgot a dad bot you know I got a dad B right now I can't claim 10 well I can claim 10 because I you don't have a dad bod I have I I'm not saying you do I'm just yeah I don't yeah yeah but that's

Zoebeside the point like it's not personally like I don't know how I don't know how to measure it so in my eyes I'm a 10 that's not based on any standard

Brian Atlasthat I like believe in yeah she's confident and she feels good about herself do does any I have some makeup remover does anyone here want to

Lynnrevise their answer I will do it right now I will do it can I have one what is that actually can I have one of those so I don't have to wash my face when I get

Brian Atlasdone yeah right wash your face you want I'm good I mean how long you had that is it expired I just did my makeup for fun makeup remover expires yeah you want to

Unknowndo it sop you want to do it too ly what is this trying to prove I don't know I I don't even know right now uh have you ever had women actually

Brian Atlastake the wipes no this is our first time actually normally I reject just open the do you want Emily you want to no I'll take one but I'm on cuz I don't want to look pay for my makeup pay for your makeup that you're going to take off in an hour anyways no I'm just kidding

Samactually it's really not that much I mean like feel like women can wear makeup and still see without the lipstick just the lipstick you're not suppos to matter

Qyour lips why does it matter at no I don't have chaps my lips are going to get really dry oh no but the thing is like I don't care if said you major in Psychology right but my lip is this is

Qgoing to be something this something that psychologists do my lip is the actually scientifically deter what they the color makes PR basically how to measure attration and what the markers are for beauty for like standards of

Qbeauty there are a lot of markers like facial symmetry A Certain like certain dimensions of the face uh proximity your eyes versus your nose things like that so what they do is basically you can tell how objectively attractive somebody

Qis just cross-culturally so if I was to take a picture of you and show it to different groups of men and they rate you then most of them would rate you similarly no uh actually um like beauty

Qin different cultures is perceived very differently no it's not cultur there is objective beaut but also culture very much but we're in the United States no no not even that beauty is objective cuz that's how you that's how it becomes a phenomenon you can't

Qsay no but we just talked about like in the beginning of the podcast how beauty standards change but I'm tell I'm telling you that's not true I'm telling you that's not true that's not true at all it proven it has not no it has I think I I might have something but let

Brian Atlasme come let you come in right after I can show you a myriad of studies where it's crosscultural okay regardless so would you say so somebody who is

Brian Atlasdeemed a 10 in one culture let someone who's except attractive in one culture you you say could be deemed ugly in another culture yeah I think there talk

Brian Atlasabout major cultures let's not talk about beauty but let's not talk about some like 300 person tribe well if you're talking about like West modern Western cultures then modern Western cultures are going to agree because they're all modern Western cultures but

Brian AtlasI would argue that an exceptionally attractive woman in Japan or Korea is going to be deemed attrative regard very attract also attractive in a western country true but at what like time

Sophiaperiod too it doesn't matter the 1600s son what do we talk huh well if you look at pictures of what like in the 1600s what they deemed attractive you would find it ugly today modern modern modern day modern

Sophiaday it's modern day it's going to be more similar even across uh cultures whatever because like I'm saying like there's an objective to Beauty but then there's also like cultural but like

Brian Atlascultur also changes over time in Victorian London England like I don't I don't care what the date the Chang that's what I'm saying I think certain aspect the only

Emilyreason they've changed lately is because of plastic surgery like women have had makeup for hundreds and hundreds of years but plastic surgery getting new lips boobs ass that's all something that's going to change your looks from a six to a 10 so that's when women can't

Emilyreally call themselves I'm a 10 actually disagree I disagree with you on that I think it makes women less ATT less attractive well true but I'm just saying in the sense where a woman could look completely different so like a man could

Emilylook at a it would be a entirely new person so like they're no you're the same person but you got a bunch of plastic in you well I've seen people look really different is what I mean like they would look drastically different so like somebody would look at

Emilythem and who's not very intelligent might not know that they've had a lot of plastic surgery and consider them an eight or nine sure I I I don't know I got a good vision for fake tits and it's just I don't think all men do because

Emilyyou're you're over your 30s you're a lot more intelligent than young men who are 20 18 that men my age do not know how to tell whether a woman's have so young men are being catfished

Brian Atlasbasically because they don't have the provision they haven't developed the bro I can see that I could tell if a woman has some fake titties in a burka that's how good my is she's

Brian Atlaslike boom am i g to get canceled for this she's wearing a fullon uh Nick hat is it Nick hat I don't know look she's fully covered up I know if she got

Brian Atlassome fake tities so wait I think a good test would be like get do any of us have plastic surgery like do I have any work fake fake titties any work I mean I don't make it a habit to like stare at women's chest in like you know I I tried

Brian Atlasto look at people in the face but are you you want me to just glance at your titties I can look my boobs just my whole face you don't have fake titties I can tell uh the t-shirt's a little tough with the T-shirt I honestly I don't

Brian Atlasthink any girls here have fake titties no and I haven't even taken like a solid Gander at any of the titties here I haven't you know I'm it's almost in my peripheral vision I'm just looking at

Brian Atlasyou with the eyes I'm looking at you and the eyes right now mhm it's a little creepy but I'm not even looking right you don't like men with blue eyes just my peripheral vision I

Alexaknow you don't got fake titties why would I need to huh why would I need to like I just I like he's just saying is recognizing when people have plastic surgery or not um oh one question on the

Brian Atlaswhole 10 thing right uh do you think all women are tens no oh okay all all right that's fine though she being an honest I mean

Brian Atlasif they think they're 10 they can think they're like go ahead but word word word okay we got to get back to a couple things here oh we have to do her dating

Brian Atlasapp we're going to do a quick dating app review of her dating profile uh we're going to check it out Nick if you're able to pull it up what were the other

Brian Atlasthings whoa WR uh next one uh that uh okay I go wait what's the quick quick rant thing what was that blue eyes blue eyes the blue

Brian Atlaseyes thing okay we already covered that she goes crazy for tattoos and brunettes they do hi okay um next oh oh that's just a photo this is her photo so chat this is kind of like chat this is like

Brian Atlasyou swipe left you swipe right although it's hinge so it's like or dis like or not like say figuring out my dating goal uh my greatest strength Marvel movies you had to be there it smells like nasty ass in here

Samthat's like that was a frat party and I literally walked and it smelled like the like gross ocean is that what smells like what the what kind of

Brian Atlasare you around I will it smelled disgusting in there is that our like it SM fish very this is a very

Brian Atlassexist statement for you to say you are a misogynist how dare you say that that I smells like like fish wow like if you don't take care of yourself get a little

Brian Atlasfishy yeah I think you're self snitching on yourself Yo flan life thank you for all the gift and membership sorry we missed it um next uh my vulnerable side okay I'll

Brian Atlasfart for you if you open the car door stop the cap next this am are you crying there okay that was like the day my ex-boyfriend

Brian Atlasbroke up with me funny and you doc mented it yeah I like you ever seen these like Tik toks and videos of women who are crying and and like and

Brian Atlasthey get their phone oh I'm so sad let me just get out to my camera okay U let me make sure the angle's good like it's soir it was kind

Samof in the moment so weird who people like I don't know it's so fake I actually accidentally took that picture oh okay I like went to go on Snapchat and it took the picture so I was like okay wait Nick can you go back to it real quick okay nice next

Samone my life behind the scenes wait is that what is is that my part is that frat party that's my party trick what do split what is that the split twerk twerk

Brian AtlasI thought she was twerking wait Nick can you go two back to the open the car door One open the car door go back to the twerking

Brian Atlasone I want I could show you a video I want a gentleman but what are you can I not have fun and

Brian Atlasdance at a party it's just like the demands for G it's a treatment like oh you'll F what the car door thing no like me doing the

Samsplits it's like me having fun I'm literally intoxicated okay what are you you're telling me like when you're intoxicated you know everything you're doing at all times if you're really drunk I mean I

Brian Atlasdon't I don't know you well enough but I I guess where what I'm trying to get at is there is there is a demand from whenever I see a demand of I want a guy to pay for the first aid I want a guy to

Samdo all these like gentlemanly sh chalous things but then you conduct yourself in a way that is not the car door thing was kind of a joke too cuz it's just something so

Brian Atlassimple you should do it it's like you're opening a door for some I guess what I'm trying to get at if you want to be treated like a lady you ought to conduct yourself like a lady why is it so black and white like it doesn't have to be

Brian Atlaslike that I mean twerk I when I think look you're free to twerk I'm not saying there should be yeah you're a man saying you don't like twerking like no I don't

Brian Atlasgirls twerking like dancing no to have fun I a girl twerking would be like I'm I'm like that's not wifey material right there like do do you not

Brian Atlaslike girls that dance in general then well I mean this I have a hot take on this but we're speaking about something very specific you're like on the floor at a frat party look you're free to do it I'm not saying there should be some

Brian Atlasban on it however yeah I have fun with my life no that's good for you I'm I'm an I am a dinosaur who uh doesn't drink who

Brian Atlasdoesn't party who doesn't do any drugs who uh I guess I'm a little boring you know um she's shaking her head um Miss Christian over

Samhere is down with well I'm young this I'm supposed to have fun it's not like I'm opening my legs for the whole world like it's just having fun we can talk about that too but um no but

Brian Atlaswhat I guess what I'm saying is is that there's without saying you shouldn't you can't do it you shouldn't do it but what I do think a lot of guys are going to look at that and if you do not think

Brian Atlasit's funny that's cool but like and I'm not saying I mean I know you said the car door thing whatever you you say you probably don't even give a about that but I would say there are a lot of women out

Brian Atlasthere who request gentlemanly treatment who request chivalrous treatment want the guy to pay for the first a want the guy to be provider but they are not

Brian Atlasconducting themselves in a way that is in a ladylike behavior and I would say like going to party Shing perfect I'm human like that's

Brian Atlasthat's fine but can we agree that twerking is not ladylike Behavior I love it it's fun that's totally fine nice one Nick um

Lynnthat's totally fine I'm not like hating on you or anything am I hating on you you should try it out sometime twerking I'm I'll pass on that why I feel like that'd be fun to see me on the table right here can you please someone's

Brian Atlasgoing to have to donate a ton of money for me to ever somebody donate a grand he'll do it I'll do it right now you'll do what right now donate a grand somebody for to me yeah

Brian Atlasshe'll do all right I did before she will twerk wait I will twerk you will okay yeah it's just like uh you know hold make it a like make it a thing

Samthough like even if I'm not here right now like in your next podcast if somebody sends a grand well we have a champagne pop for if somebody donates $1,000 we'll pop a ball of champagne

Sophiaright now that's cool yeah lit bro okay wait what's what's your point though for the record I do agree with

Brian Atlasyou on this oh well thank you very much no look look I'm not saying I'm not like here I don't know if that sense but like the how dirty was that floor by the way

Samoh I was blacked out in that for sure that was last year actually that's when I had do you think a guy should pay for the first date actually the four days ago with the

Samguy or whatever I offered to pay half oh that's so nice of you I don't do it all the time if the guy busts out his card like and he doesn't ask anything really

Brian Atlasbut like I can tell by the vibe like if they like oh you want to pay a little bit of this too and then I get that Vibe and then I'll offer look it's 2023 there's equal rights there's feminism if

Brian Atlasyou want to go to part look I know that's how a lot of young people move um they go out they party they get drunk they

Brian Atlasto work on the floor dance um that's fine but I guess my objection to it is is then don't turn around and demand men AC in this like I don't demand anything

Brian Atlasthat's fine but the whole car door thing that is kind of a chivalrous thing of I want a guy to open the car door that is kind of a traditional simp gentlemanly that that's where I agree if you want

Brian Atlasjewelry you got to act lady like right like CU a lot of people demand like a lot of women will demand men act like gentlemen men act in the chivalrous

Brian Atlasmanner which is well they demand that men act chivalrous but chivalry is something like you you think it's just something that will automatically

Brian Atlasmanifest itself in men and not something that women ought to try to nurture in men through their own behavior I mean like for me I like a guy to be himself and I feel

Samlike most of the time on first dates they put up this front and I don't like it it's like a front of like trying to be so gentleman and I don't like that you like an no not an but I like somebody to be themsel sure

Samnot putting up a front where it's like oh I'm this like gentleman blah blah blah no I want to know you I want to know who you are not this guy that you're trying to like put

Brian Atlasout word I have the scam blocker the one in the brown top with short blonde hair is the only one I'm attracted to uh is that me because of her character based or not question mark I

Samthink that's you do you Sophia do you want to say anything to him thanks are you are your DMs open no only what their DM's open they can message you uh sure

Brian Atlaswe have puffy Vegas 49300 o wife have offered me what does this even say dude I can't read that thank you puffy Vegas but what the spell check please thank you

Brian Atlasman appreciate you love you okay we have let me see where we're at oh Amy I had another question for you based off of your notes Here uh let's see the delusion of a villain Arc what's a villain Arch what do you mean by that um I don't know if you guys

Amyever heard of it but I'm pretty sure you guys have you guys have heard of a villain Arc um it's usually like what would happen if let's say you get like broken up with like you get really like heartbroken and then all of a sudden

Amyyou're posting like all these gym videos I've been one of those people I will say that um but you'll you start acting like you know F everybody like I'm going to do my own thing like screw this through

Amythat and then you just have a very negative view of the world that's that's a villain rude rude get off your phone back what he say what do he say what do he say what do he say okay I kind of

Samcalled him in the bathroom not going to lie whatever what what did he say and I was just like hey I'm I'm sorry for talking about it and he was like I lowkey wish you mentioned my name and I

Brian Atlaswas like want no no no no no cuz I don't I don't want to expose myself either at the same time sure um oh uh okay so villain Arc so you're saying that like someone gets dumped and then they use

Amythat as justification to just become a piece of basically I mean I think people like maybe like I understand we all go through like our phases you know the

Amyfive stages of grief like especially after something like you know a breakup that happens but I don't think you should like allow yourself to be in that villain Arc for a long period of time

Brian Atlasyou got to get up yeah definitely think social media promotes that sort of thing too because uh I don't know it seems like there's almost this trend it seems

Brian Atlasa little more pronounced in women where it's like it's quirky to kind of be toxic and yeah I to me it's just

Brian Atlaslike also I I almost wonder if men deal with rejection a lot more than women so it's like when women do get rejected by a guy

Brian Atlasuh they they don't know how to handle rejection so it's like okay I got curved by like two dudes now I'm just going to be a piece of the rest of my life um I think that's some real I

Sophiadon't know okay all right yeah I think that women don't like uh like nice guys who are like nice all the time but I think my advice to men would be like still be a gentleman still be chorous

Sophiamaybe playfully tease her a little bit you know like you can you can like uh yeah you can tease her I don't know I'm I'm tired I'm sorry but like you don't have to be like nice 100% of the time

Amylike it's okay you know women like that but don't be an or whatever I I think what I'm trying to say with the villain Arc thing is you know once you

Amyget out of relationship or whatever like don't don't try to hate you know like things have passed things have happened don't hate all men because one man Did

AmyYou Wrong don't don't try to say that I think it's very unfair for the very good men that are out there there this goes for a woman too if a woman has ever cheated on you or wronged you please don't ha hate the whole population of

Amywomen cuz that all of us are like that I think please have more if any if anything from my Christian faith could that I could share is just have please have Grace with each other okay I think that's a big thing I

Alexathink another thing to point out is like a lot of people say nice guys finish last and girls will even say nice girls will finish last and there's a difference of like and I'm like have tried to talk to some of my guy friends about this cuz they're genuinely nice guys and they're like I went on this

Alexadate and like I just I don't know why she won't call me I don't understand it and it's like there's a difference between kindness which I think is people something everyone should have and focus on but neness sometimes means that you

Alexabend to everything for this person and it's it's being in a really healthy relationship is being able to say no to things and having healthy boundaries and I think that sometimes what happens is

Alexapeople get so enthralled by somebody and want want to be with that person I'll be there I I'll canel all my plans to be with you I'll do this I don't have a life and it's saying like hey I need to have enough self-respect to say it's okay to say no to people sometimes and

Alexasay when you're not comfortable with things and it's it's okay to be kind but nice sometimes gets I think people think saying yes and being a yes person is the way to do it and most people respect people who have healthy boundaries mhm

Brian Atlasyeah or becomes the nice guy syndrome here let me let me redirect the conversation here just cuz I want to try to get through all these there was a lot of pre-show notes and then we do have to wrap up here pretty soon so um I'm

Brian Atlashungry McDonald's we got there's food afterwards um so let's see uh you said oh uh you went out with a guy punched he got punched in the face and then bit by

Alexaa dog on the first date was there a second date oh my gosh can you explain can you expl what happened on some very date short short version so we went out crazy just when we went out to dinner it

Alexawas fine his friend was having a party nearby so we decided to go and some chick punched him in the face dead ass randomly just randomly she goes you look like you have a face worth punching he was a bit of a dick though I'm not going to lie like he was there's a

Alexathere's multiple reasons there wasn't a second date and then he tried to get handsy with me while I was holding this dog and the little fluffy dog was looking out for me and just bit him

Alexaeverywhere yeah this dog was like mm don't come near her should Christ dog was looking out but I was like he had a rough night yeah L after L punch

Brian Atlasin the face by chick bit bit by DK um you broke up with your three and a half year relationship via text I did because he was cheating with his buddy soon to be ex-wife who was leaving her husband for cheating yep okay I think that's

Alexapretty valid that's pretty valid well so the crazy part was it was one of those things and sort of like how you're saying like try to be nice even like walk away and have a flex and just kind of just whatever I was too nice and to

Alexayes person for for a long time same yeah and I I had a feeling he was cheating and I even said like went up to his dead ass and I was like look if you don't think I'm the one for you let me know we can end this and like just don't waste

Alexamy time and like we live together everything he's like no I love you I want to grow old with you we went on a vacation with my grandparents to like Idaho and then we came back and I I got

Alexaa feeling I work in Tech too so I found out through the iPad he was cheating on someone that is the girl that you have a feeling with even when you're together we used to go on double dates with this

Alexacouple yeah and so I yeah he and then when I when I caught him I I confronted him via text and he he kept denying it and I screenshotted exactly what he sent to her saying you're the most beautiful women woman I've ever seen I want to be

Alexawith you and he goes well you should have seen this coming and so we were supposed to go to New York together that weekend he had a a flight a few hours before mine and so he left I broke up

Brian Atlaswith him text I moved all my out of the apartment and never spoke to him again wow cheating broke up almost a relationship we do have to move we we can't Linger on that for too long um you

Brian Atlassaid I think that most people don't actually know what they want expect way too much from their Partners even though they can't articulate it themselves if you don't know what you want how is your

Brian Atlaspartner supposed to yeah I think sorry there answer no well I was going to ask you said if you don't know what you want how's your partner supposed to what do you

Alexawant uh I want someone who has a high level of Integrity I want someone who's kind not nice and I want someone who is very disciplined and that's something that because the thing is like people talk about oh I want this job I want

Alexathis lifestyle y y whatever it is I think if you focus on core values and characteristics of people that is something that you can go a lot further with because they will end up being there and like if I can say something

Alexareal quick so I am like a big advocate for it's called the four pillars and I want to say this was like a study done back like during the Clinton administration where they said if you can agree with these four things in your

Alexarelationship the probability of your relationship ending is like 10% and it number one is finances because number one reason people get divorced in this country is money fights and money problems number two is in-laws number

Alexathree is kids whether or not to have them and how to raise them and number four is religion and if you can agree on those four things I think a lot of people don't talk about that they see oh we have the same Spotify playlist or you

Alexaknow very shallow things that people try to find Hobbies your partner doesn't need to be everything for you we are social animals it's it's not fair to put everything on a guy in this situation to be your best friend your Confidant the

Alexaone that's supposed to provide you excitement but also stability and security it's not fair to ask one person to give you all these things when most of us can't even give it to ourselves sure so it's looking for what you need

Sophianot necessarily what you want got it um let's see and I think a lot of sorry can I add to that real quick I think a lot of people just jump into marriage because oh I love this person and um I think that you need to be smart and intentional about dating and ask those

Sophiaquestions before you get married to see if like you are really compatible and not just compatible like oh we get along well but like actually like would the marriage workout yeah and I think another thing on that too is this is the first time in human history we especially in the US that we marry for

Alexalove we don't marry for compatibility and the problem is if you just marry for love love is fickle and you have to like for me if I find a couple that's been married for a long time and you can tell they're still genuinely love in love I

Alexaalways ask I'm like how give me the secret I need to know cuz I do know come from a family with where relationships have been successful and uh recently one of the guys that I asked he's been married for 28 years and they absolutely love and endure each other he goes love

Alexais a choice that you have to make every day I don't like my partner every day but I love and I choose to stay a lot of women leave relationships now not because they're unhappy but it's because they think they could be happier and

Amythat's a big issue that was profound yep yeah another thing uh that Ben Shapiro said that really stuck with with me was also

Alexapick a partner that that with values that you would like with your kids to have that's another thing so going back to the four pillars thing that's that's usually the one so most people don't care if they're Partners like for like

Alexafor instance like religion some people don't care if your partner's religious or not if if they're not but it's when you have kids and now it's okay are we raising so that's actually the reason my most re relationship ended I love him

Alexahe's a wonderful person I have no ill will towards him we're still friends but I want to raise my kids Christian and he does not and we it's it's hard to break up with someone that you genuinely are

Brian Atlaslike we get along in every other way sure but you can't have half a kid so okay I'm going to come back to a couple things here we were talking a little bit about rosters early on in the show and I

Brian Atlasjust want to kind of go around the table um have you ever had a roster of guys what do I I I feel like I need to multiple men at the same time yeah mhm yeah how many like what's like two

Alexausually it's like just like two or three like nothing major well we know do the First Dates was I if I don't go on second second dates are really hard so as soon as I go on a second date with someone I'm usually not talking to other

Brian Atlaspeople okay Emily what about you ever had a roster no never no I've no actually they never overlapped any of the guys I've dated no overlap

SophiaSophia any overlaps yeah no I mean I've been like interested in two guys at the same time I was dating both of them at the same time sure yeah same like I was interested but I've never like was

Lynntalking to them or seeing them or anything yeah Amy no roster for me Lyn uh no once I'm interested in someone

Brian Atlasit's only then gotcha uh I want to ask this uh sugar daddies earlier on we were I overheard before the show this was

Brian Atlasrelated to the dating app thing you have a couple sugar daddies currently no no you used to never I had

Samone oh and basically how did you meet that I got banned from Tinder because when I first signed up I didn't know there was like an age thing where you

Samcan like move around the ages so I kind of just um yeah 18 plus I left it there and there was like old men popping up and I'm like this is kind of

Brian Atlasweird and then I guess they would find my Instagram DM me on Instagram a bunch of stuff and did you your Instagram in your bio because on your dating app oh I

Samgot banned from Tinder but let me let me see okay okay okay go ahead at one point in time I was around and I was like I'm just going to like all these old men and see what genuinely happens so they start texting me on Tinder and

Samthey're like I will send you like three grand right now I could be your sugar daddy I'll take you out I'll pay for everything like this and that and I I

Samwas just like okay like here's my venmo they sent me money but I got banned from because of that how much money total do you think he made from the venmo thing

Brian Atlasoff Tinder specifically maybe a grand life once again life on easy mode there's no my rent for my parents there's there is

Brian Atlasliterally no guy I don't care how attractive he is on the face of this planet that can instantly get money from women on a dating app but somebody just offered you money and you refused

TTS/Chatit you don't you okay that money went to rent though because I helped my parents The unated $99 thank you my name is Nick

TTS/Chatlongtime Watcher first time commenter just had a son we named him Nick Junior love watching Nick at night as he sleeps so got me my GF wants to give him her

Brian Atlaslast name could any advice what did he just say Nickelodeon it's I think he's meing uh any advice on what wait my girlfriend

Lynnwants to give him her last name do you not get it yeah her first name and then the last name that I'm not going to repeat if holy I oh my if you put the first name and the last name

Clairetogether they're just making a racist comment yeah I didn't I just realized that that took a while no nobody said it no you just said Nick junior Nick the I didn't get that

Sameither anyways okay um we uh your sugar daddies yeah oh life on easy mode yeah no life on easy sure I got the money but I put it towards my rent for my parents I gave it to them for R yeah life on

Zoeeasy mode sure that's not how old are these men like women don't have life on easy mode like that's not that just because we can get money that's easy

Emilymode e easy it's I meaness yeah if I could easily pay my rent with somebody's money that's easy you're telling me you don't have to work hour a minute of your time

Brian Atlasand you can pay your rent with somebody else's money that's still work no you said you paid the rent with that if you really wanted to finesse you could get on the sugar daddy websites you could

Samget on all the dating oh you were on seeking no sugar daddy.com oh as a joke too I just want to like preference I'm not going on there specifically to like

Samfind a sugar daddy it's like I'm doing it to like piece of no but I'm just like seeing how this works cuz like I was like interested I was like okay I'm just going to sign up see what happens

Brian Atlaswhatever but I mean you also said when you were on the dating apps which are people genuinely go on there to try to find whether it's casual whether it's more serious you were just like well I mean I suppose it's no I didn't go on

Brian Atlasthere just for the sugar daddies I mean like it was just like wait so okay these dudes just sent you a thousand and then you got banned because of the age thing no because of the money

Brian Atlasoh they don't allow things like that on yeah they and rightfully so they should protect men from predatory women but um anyways there's not men on dating apps who are praying on women the same way

Samthat women are praying on men on dating apps for money okay for money but like money wise for for what I didn't ask for any of it I was just like here's my Veno you want to do you go

Brian Atlasahead that look I think men have some accountability in this you shouldn't men don't send women you don't know money like come on guys don't you need

Emilyto watch Barbie like you really need to watch Barbie no topic of sending money to someone you don't know have you talking about the patriarchy I've seen Barbie how is it related what does that have to do with the money it doesn't have to do

Emilywith the money but he's talking about how women have life on easy mode if you watch Barbie female privilege I don't need to hear another woman explain to me how hard her life is but when I hear someone

Emilysit here and tell me that that they paid their rent with somebody else's money I can just look at that and decide I don't need to hear somebody on a movie tell me how bad my life is as a woman no I sorry I don't care about that movie there definitely is female privilege like

Sophiapeople talk about like why male privilege like I don't think that's a thing but like female privilege like I have uh my car like I got like flat tires whatever broken down on the side of the road um multiple times since

Sophiamoving to California and I like realize I'm so glad that I'm a young female because people actually stop and help me and if I yeah I totally I was a man people would not help me that's true also just just just to add on to your

Brian Atlaspoint when it comes to was it mostly men stopping to help you with your car yes so when it comes to male intervention uh women if you're out in public you basically have let's say you're at a

Brian Atlasparty type environment let's say you're just at not even a party type environment let's say you're walking in a shopping mall you basically as a woman have male bodyguards y like not every

Brian Atlasman will intervene however let's say for example a guy is attacking you physically other men who don't know you who have no relationship to you who are not your siblings or your brother or

Brian Atlasyour boyfriend total strangers owe you nothing if they see someone attacking you say a man's attacking you they will intervene on your be behalf and not just try to stop the fight they'll probably

Brian Atlasbe a group of men a horde of men who will beat the out of the dude yeah because biology whereas as men if we're even if it's an unfair situation if

Brian Atlasthree dudes are us up if three dudes are like no no other men are going to intervene on our behalf so women basically have that additional privilege

Emilyof you basically have free bodyguards when you're on public yeah debatable debatable it's also that wom be intervening I don't know about that look at the mon there also a lot it's

Qalso a lot of men getting jumped people pull out their camera phones and just I mess up on that well there's this

Brian Atlasfamous there's actually this famous clip where it's from like some Indian TV show very old I don't know if this is a perfect example Nick we're we're not

Brian Atlasgoing to Google it but a woman slaps a man and it's on a TV show a woman slaps a man he slaps her back all the men that

Brian Atlaswere behind the scenes like 20 dudes it's like the could she slap this is like this was an internet meme um she's like he's like how could she slap slaps her back right she slaps him he slaps

Brian Atlasher back look I don't think you should hit anybody however if you hit somebody you should be prepared to be hit back instigating is something yes I agree with that part so all the men despite

Brian Atlasthe fact that they all saw her slap him first all that guy got the kicked out of him by like 20 dudes so there's something in men that it's like like this protection thing where if they see

Sophiaa woman like being hit by a man they're going to intervene on your behalf total strangers so that's another privilege yeah no I mean it does it's like pros and cons because um I am more vulnerable

Sophiaso when um I'm stuck on the side of the road and I have a flat tire and I know how to change a flat tire but I like there's situations I got a flat in my spare tire so anyway and then it's like and I don't have cell service I really

Sophianeed help I have been very fortunate that everyone who stopped uh was very nice and had good intentions but you never know you never know what their intentions are and I am moreable pros and cons but why should I watch the Barbie

Zoemovie explain it to me explain it to me there's this specific scene in the Barbie movie where yeah um one of the

Zoecharacters gives a monologue about like kind of the societal like standards that

Zoewomen are subject to and personally it really aligned with me and like how I go through life and like I kind of realize

Zoethat women like it's a lot to get into right now but we can get into it go ahead no I don't know if I want to but like I just think

Zoethat that movie really puts it in perspective for men to like understand what we go through as women that you might not understand well try to explain

Brian Atlasit to me I I don't have time to watch it now but if you can give me a 30 second one minute sure we have the privilege okay doesn't mean we don't have stuff in our life I'm trying to I'm trying to understand here I'm trying to understand

Zoeplease if you can okay I'll try to articulate it I can't get any words out so okay yeah we do have this like privilege in some ways but also like you

Zoeas a woman I feel like I can't walk alone at night because something might happen to me and um Can can before I have you continue can we just address that specific one really quick Q do you

Brian Atlashave anything on this cuz I do you want to come in on that or um about her walking well the feeling that she at night she is more likely to be victim of violent crime um I I have because yeah

Brian Atlasbecause if I walk alone at night I'm more likely to be a victim of violent crime so even though I think it's the case that women might feel more more vulnerable the reality is if you look at

Zoecrime statistics men are more likely to be victims of violent crime okay but I mean how like what what statistics like where are these coming from first of all the Department of

Brian AtlasJustice various okay crime statistics I'll have to see those statistics but it's it's true men are more likely to be victims of violent crime okay sure it's true

Clairemurder assault mhm okay well what about getting cuz I think something that I fear is like not only violent crime sa are you talking no like getting kidnapped like like sex

Emilytraffic that's like my biggest using their privilege as sex traffic to be honest like as a full grown women you're not the biggest like priority to be sex trafficked or kidnapped they primarily

Brian Atlasgo against children so we're not getting into stay away from trafficking but um your biggest fear is to be trafficked so your biggest fear you're going to be abducted and then shipped to some Latin

ClaireAmerican country like is that genuinely that a big jump but but isn't that what traffic what what when you say trafficking yeah like cities like Roseville like Roosevelt Roseville Roseville yeah it's like very close to

Clairethere yeah it's near Sacramento there's a lot more trafficking that's that goes on that we even know about but like isn't that typically like some some they bring in a

Brian Atlaswoman from overseas yeah it's usually children and immigrants that are victims I adult women people it's people in that area it's a lot of people coming in like

AlexaAmerican women getting abducted it's not common but it happens it happens it's very a very real thing so so I used to work with an organization that actually fought to rescue victims of that for

Alexaseveral years okay so one in six individuals that you one out of six people that you know either know someone or is a victim of human trafficking most people don't understand just let's go into that one in six

Alexapeople of who you know or in in the sense of like you know someone or you know someone who knows someone that's a bullsh just on its face that's the most that's such a how can

Brian Atlasyou know somebody who knows somebody what kind of Statistics is that give me the the percentage risk yeah but what what does it I know somebody who know why are they taking statistics on I know

Brian Atlassomebody who knows somebody who was a victim of a crime why that's just you're trying to you're trying to use words to paint things in a certain way what is

Alexathe actual likelihood of someone in the United States being trafficked so I I'd have to bring back the stats just because it's been a couple years to get the exact piece the highest rate for

Brian Atlaswhere trafficking happens though is the victims are actually brought here us us but do do you see how disingenuous disingenuine Jesus I can't speak right disingenuous it is to use language one

TTS/Chatin six people my Davis donated $100 you don't blame the kid for being a brat you blame the parents I don't blame women they don't know

TTS/ChatI blame this new generation of low te beta bonehead men for allowing this I'll become an African dictator to show yous how it's done okay thank you very much Mike Davis appreciate it he's

Brian Atlasgoing to be an African dictator I do think it's like you're using language in a way to one in six people know somebody or

Brian Atlasthey're one in six people have either been trafficked or know somebody who has yes that's such a weird way of one in six people

Brian Atlaseats candy or know somebody who eats candy that's just like a weird framing of a statistic I mean it's just the way that I framed it right now but it's one

Alexaof those things as far as like how it it is a lot more prevalent than what most people think and most people are trafficked by someone they know that's what most people don't realize it's it's not necessarily people coming from India or Vietnam and being brought to the

Sophiacountry yeah that happens a lot but you'd be surprised at how many people are actually in the US I I would say one is one too many and it it is a thing that happens of course it's a terrible thing I don't know the statistics it might not be like like obviously it's

Emilynot as prevalent here but it does happen it is a real thing actually the biggest business in the United States of America and that's funny you say it's not as prevalent here the biggest here let's bring it back to

Brian Atlasthis countes we're moving on but they also okay so hold on so you mentioned the Barbie Barbie movie what are some of the other things things other what what are some of the Str that women have said

Zoeif I watched the Barbie movie I would be enlightened to the plight of women okay well first of all like the beauty

Zoestandard um and kind of just like Traditional Values that men like and like like you you were just saying like you have to be a you should be a

Zoevirgin if like that's your type or whatever that's your type whatever you said okay like these standards like it just it's just not like healthy and like

ZoeI don't know I just think what's what's not healthy like having like putting women to these standards I just like so so men are not allowed to have preferences standards and boundaries

Zoethat's not what I'm saying but it's just interesting that a large majority of men have these standards so would you hold your kids to standards at all like does that matter to you your children having more it well yeah so then why would a

Emilyman not be allowed to want a woman to have morals and standards and like why is that so wrong what are the standards that men have that you object to high uh the body count thing you would men should not be able to if a woman slept

Zoewith 300 people that should men should just tolerate that okay that's unrealistic but I'm but no that's not what I'm saying like I'm it's just interesting that we have to like live up

Zoeto these standards that are like and for what is basically what I'm thinking like it just it's a lot of pressure on women that's not the only thing that's like actually one wouldn't you say that women are more are pickier and more selective

Brian Atlasthan men are so there's actually a greater pressure on men when it comes to stands I know women are more picky women are just naturally more selective than men because of it's just biological I

Emilyhave a question I do you think it would be do you think it would be better for little girls Across America to not be held to any standards growing up like no standards for like you know how they

Emilycarry themselves how they act in public who they you know like do you think that would be better for society if little girls than going into women had no standards to be held

Sophiato I mean not necessarily it depends on the standards but um yeah I guess you're talking about the B are you talking about like unrealistic stand like a lot

Zoeof unrealistic standards on women yeah like body the body count thing is like if I could say like the body count thing that's not really like the main one it's

Zoelike the way you look like you got you have to like slim waist big boobs big butt all these like things that women

Zoefeel that they have to be like in order for a man to like them and like living under the male gaze and things like that that's what sorry it's just the buzzword the

Brian Atlasmale gaze okay see any sort like it's so interesting to me that that basically like male male sexual uality is pathologized like if men like looking in your direction you basically just want

Brian Atlasto PA pathologize and almost Crim actually in the UK in the United Kingdom they attempted to criminalize staring okay I'm not saying the male G the clown world that we what is the male gaze a

Zoeguy looking at you I'll explain you know like the no that's not what it is there's the female gaze which is like women typically like men who are like

Zoereally strong or like like they live in they like like these certain things about men that's like living under the female gaze if like you are doing a

Zoecertain thing to yourself in order to please a woman so for women it's like act like doing things that you like to

Qyourself so that you can please a man can I can I ask you something do you think women actually amplify the pressure that they put on themselves and

QI say that because you just talked about trying trying to trying to live up to live up to a standard you notice this you notice other women with big boobs you notice the women in magazines you notice the women on social media and

Qeverything like that you're comparing yourselves to those women you still get approached by men right men still find you attractive so if men still find you attractive if men still come your direction then what is it that you what

Brian Atlasmakes you insecure you're doing it to yourself yeah you mentioned there's this pressure on women to have thin waist big boot puts the pressure on themselves didn't you say earlier you're currently dating

Brian Atlaslike three or four men you okay you have a roster of three or four men or was that your friend I don't know no that was me are you struggling to get men not particularly do you think you

Zoeneed to modify anything about you to attract men there well I me been times yes but there have been times where I felt like and still there you go you

Zoejust said it you just said it there have been times where I felt like I felt like I had to act a certain way look a certain way in order for a man to like

Brian Atlasme told you to act to but that's how it is in our society but okay so and you mentioned like unrealistic body standards Etc um who do you think is more picky when it comes to dating men

Zoeor women um well it's person I mean I went to an all girls school for like I said for seven years so it's kind of like like yeah I don't really know like I

Zoehonestly don't know because of that well who do you think if you had if you had to if you had a ballpark it you think men are more selective or women are more selective um well I guess it's difficult to say

Qbecause I think women get approached by men more so they can reject men more or like so if they reject men more don't you think there would be more criteria for them men have to meet do you think there's more do you think there's more

Brian Atlascriteria men have to meet to attract women or vice versa I guess women are I don't know like it's it's impossible for her to

Brian Atlasacknowledge that men in that that men are somehow a at a deficit in one realm of human endeavor because I I recognize that men

Brian Atlasstruggle for reasons well let's let's keep it to the body thing right so okay um okay you said that when it comes to appearance that there's this like

Brian Atlasexpectation that women have to live up to of like a certain body type and because of the Barbie movie I didn't see the Barbie movie but I guess it touched on it in the movie that women have it

Brian Atlasharder when it comes to body type just living in society just living in a society do you think that that same pressure exists for men yes now here's my hot I don't think it's a hot take but

Brian Atlashere's my position um I would actually argue that depictions of aspirational bodies for men are far harder to attain than what you see of women so the

Zoeaspirational body type for a man is far harder than the aspirational body for a woman for the average person probably yeah well like it depends on the person

Zoeand their body Ty the other thing I would add to let me ask do you care about a man's height would you want to do you care about height not maybe not as much as other women I've heard what

Brian Atlaswhat's your ideal height for a guy you're 5'1 right yeah ideal high for a guy like I guess like 57 and okay would you date it would you want to date a guy who's like

Zoe5'2 probably not it depends on who they are if they're a really good guy we'll have to see sure do you like really skinny guys um like who have no muscle

Brian Atlasdo you like a muscular guy um a little not like super like bodybuilder gigantic steroids like muscles you like some muscles but it's not going to be like a deal breaker do you like

Brian Atlasguys what like what don't don't worry I'm I'm I'm getting somewhere go ahead um like fat obese it's like the

Brian Atlasscissors big boys are better just go I guess it's not really my type I've never been into a guy that sure is like that but um do you have any pre like when it

Brian Atlascomes to racer skin color do you have any preferences there not okay um so what I would argue um let me ask ask if a guy's lacking in the Bulge is that

Brian Atlasdeal breaker don't care okay that's fine um would you prefer a guy like if a guy was balding would that kind of be a turnoff or unattractive well I'm 18 so like some some guys start balding

Brian Atlasearly I don't know I Pro yeah I mean it's not like okay well let's say think forward to 25 some of the men in your age Co cohort uh are going to start

Zoelosing their hair like PR I would want them to be balding but like if they they were if I really love them like but would you generally speaking like do you find men who are not balding more physically

Brian Atlasattractive yeah I guess most women do so I mean kind of going on this whole thing of well the body expectations of women are like really intense and there's so

Brian Atlasmuch to work up to I would actually argue that for men it's way harder because of the things that both men and women we judge each other for there are far more things that men can that are

Brian Atlasoutside of men's control that women judge men for so height penis size physical size um if they're losing their hair that's a big thing for a lot of women a lot of

Zoewomen don't like that um I'm not saying men are not subject to like societal standards I'm just saying that women have it worse like disavow yeah a bit no

Zoeno not a bit like they do have it worse that's my opinion and I think that like the the whole like thing with bodies and like the Beauty Center like that's not even like half of what's

Zoewrong with Society sure there's more but just speaking specifically on the body thing that's like the one like topic that men kind of like

Emilyare I feel like I agree with q that it's women who kind of did that to themselves because if you look if you look at it really when that body started to become trending it was when the Kardashians did

Emilyit that's when everybody wanted the small waist the big boo the big ass so it's like women we did that to ourselves by making that popular by praising those women by giving them all of our attention and money and then now guess

Emilywhat it's not a trend anymore and all of them are getting their bbl's removed and now we're admiring being skinny again it's like we create these standards for ourselves but actually about it well

Zoeit's not really like women specifically who are like doing that I think men also are the ones who are praising it and it's not just women you cannot argue that a

Zoewoman a woman getting surgery on her own body is her only decision that's not a man's decision that is literally the only that is but like in our society can't blame that on anybody else like in

Zoesome ways men created some of the standards that are for women in society it's not just wom Sor sorry to disappoint you it's not just women who

Brian Atlascreated that all yes but men men like okay men men are attracted to women with big breasts like men are attracted to

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