She Dated 50 Men In 50 Days?! | Dating Talk #105

Date: 2023-10-02

Duration: 5h 27m

Guests

Brian Atlas

CClaire (DT105)>

AAlexa (DT105)>

EEmily (DT105)>

SSophia (DT105)>

QQ Jquan (DT139)>

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_00TTS/Chat(audience)

SPEAKER_01Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_02Amy(guest)

SPEAKER_03Claire(guest)

SPEAKER_04Sam(guest)

SPEAKER_05Zoe(guest)

SPEAKER_07Q(guest)

SPEAKER_08Alexa(guest)

SPEAKER_10Sophia(guest)

SPEAKER_12Emily(guest)

SPEAKER_13Lynn(guest)

Key Moments

ControversyQ delivers extended explanation of biological basis for body count double standard using oxytocin, vasopressin, paternity uncertainty, orgasm gap, and sexual disgust research.

“paternity uncertainty... oxytocin and vasopressin... women experience a lot more sexual regret... the orgasm gap... sexual disgust”

OtherEmily reveals ex-boyfriend (cheater) has been mailing her $3k cash and $2k in weed post-breakup for ~a year with no solicitation.

“he's probably watching... he sends me money sometimes and weed... total maybe three grand... probably 2000 in weed”

QuoteBrian pitches scheduling automated 'good morning' texts via iPhone accessibility feature as a hack for forgetful/autistic texters.

“there's a thing in the accessibility section of your iPhone where you can automatically send out a text message every single day at a specific time”

OtherSam reveals during the show she snapped the guy she had sex with 4 days prior and he texted back that he was watching the show.

“I kind of called him in the bathroom... he was like I lowkey wish you mentioned my name”

OtherSophia discloses she has sent 30+ unanswered texts to a man who has gone silent after she moved to California.

“like a lot... how many give me a number... it was never an issue in the past... yes but it wouldn't be all at once”

OtherSam discloses she had ~30 men in her rotation during summer after high school breakup (age 16-17), and received ~$1k from sugar daddy offers on Tinder before getting banned.

“maybe a grand... my rent for my parents... I got banned from Tinder but I got the money”

OtherSophia shares she has had multiple car breakdowns in California and is helped each time because she is a young female, citing female privilege.

“I am more vulnerable so when I'm stuck on the side of the road... I have been very fortunate that everyone who stopped was very nice”

QuoteEmily argues the biggest struggle facing women is men claiming to be women: 'you can be a cow, do whatever you want, but you're not going to be a woman.'

“I think it's actually commendable... the biggest struggle women face is you can just put on some tits and makeup and be one of us”

OtherSophia discloses she has endometriosis, was denied minimally invasive surgery in the US, and had to go abroad for treatment.

“I have endometriosis which is a women's issue... they wouldn't give it to me in the United States I had to go out of the country”

Topics Discussed

Guest introductions and relationship statuses

Guests introduce themselves (name, age, occupation). Each guest describes their current relationship status, longest relationship, and dating history. Covers Zoe's roster, Sam's bipolar diagnosis breakup and hot girl summer, Claire's situationship and virgin status, Sophia's multi-year ambiguous friendship with a divorced man, Amy's 5-year relationship ended by cheating, Lynn's dating app experience.

Texting habits and communication in relationships

Brian admits he does not text daily even in relationships; describes himself as autistic re: utility of texts. Debate on whether consistency in texting signals interest. Brian suggests scheduling automated 'good morning' texts via iPhone accessibility. Discussion of letting someone miss you vs. constant contact.

Body count, pair bonding, and double standards

Discussion of male vs. female body count preferences. Q explains oxytocin/vasopressin science, paternity uncertainty, orgasm gap, and sexual disgust as biological explanations for gender differences. Debate on whether the double standard is actually a 'different standard.' Emily's story about ex-boyfriend who cheated then mailed cash and weed post-breakup. Sam's sugar daddy experiences on Tinder.

Brian's ideal woman list

Brian reads from written notes his preferences: any race (slight preference Asian/white women), petite, no plastic surgery, minimal makeup, large labia preference, introverted/quiet personality, no heavy drinking, low body count (under 10), no cluster-B personality disorders (BPD, NPD, HPD, APD). Spirited debate from panel on whether these preferences are reasonable or a double standard.

Mental illness, therapy, and relationship compatibility

Sam discloses bipolar type 1; ex left her because of it. Debate on whether mental illness is a reasonable dating disqualifier. Brian says he prefers no major mental disorders but acknowledges exceptions. Q argues personality disorders recur in relationships and therapy is insufficient. Claire discusses panic attacks and benefit of therapy for communication. Brian shares his own anxiety/panic attack history and preference for solution-focused approaches over talk therapy.

Herpes, STD risk, and dating disclosure

Recurring donor 'Jay Butler' asks whether panel would sleep with / date someone with genital herpes. Panel goes around: most say deal-breaker or heavily conditional. Discussion of legal liability for non-disclosure. Sophia says only her future husband matters; Claire says strongly committed relationship might be exception. Brian says 100% deal-breaker. Q defers briefly.

Female privilege, male gaze, and body standards

Zoe cites Barbie movie monologue about impossible beauty standards for women. Brian and Q argue men face more uncontrollable physical criteria (height, penis size, balding). Discussion of 'male gaze' vs female gaze. Panel surveys percentage of men they find physically attractive (responses range from 2% to 60%). Emily argues biggest struggle facing women is biological males claiming female identity. Discussion of wage gap being debunked vs. earnings gap nuance. Sophia discusses endometriosis surgery being denied in US while gender-affirming surgery is accessible.

Transgender identity and dating preferences

Panel discusses definition of 'woman.' Most panel members define as adult human female / XX chromosomes. Claire distinguishes trend-based vs. genuine gender dysphoria. Debate on whether a man declining to date a trans woman who has had bottom surgery is prejudice or preference. Brian explains genitalia preference; eventually panel largely agrees preference is valid.

Abortion, Christianity, and foster care

Sophia (pro-life, Christian) and Claire (pro-choice, Christian) debate abortion. Sam distinguishes irresponsible casual sex abortions vs. difficult-circumstance abortions. Amy suggests funding should go to foster care instead of Planned Parenthood. Claire discloses personal experience in the foster care system.

Gun ownership and closing segment

Donation question: would any girls date a man who legally owns a firearm. Sam says she would not feel comfortable with a gun in the house given her mental health. Most others are neutral or conditionally OK. Show wraps with quick body count round-robin: Zoe=0, Sam=no comment (over 10 implied), Claire=0, Emily=one hand/1, Sophia=1, Amy=3, Lynn=not stated, Brian pleads the fifth.

Transcript

Page 1 of 6

Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we are coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 P PM Pacific

Brian AtlasI am your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host Kiki yep she's back there she's a bit shy few quick announcements before the show begins this podcast is viewer supported heavy YouTube

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Brian Atlasgo subscribe without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so please tell us your name age and occupation go ahead hi I'm Zoe I

Zoeam a student at Santa Barbara City College I'm majoring in Psychology and I'm 18 18 all right welcome hi I'm Sam I'm 18 and I also go to Santa Barbara

SamCity College and I'm running track next semester and my major is business entrepreneurship what do you uh run for track I run sprints Sprints ever hurdles

Claireno no herling no can't what about you my name is Claire I use she pronouns uh I am 21 years old I am a part-time Nanny a

Clairepart-time research assistant and a full-time student at UC Santa Cruz from which I will be graduating next year spring of next year with a ba in

Clairepolitics and a ba in Spanish studies uh she they PR pronouns yeah that should be one of your one of your

Clairequestions disavow that um what what is they they I mean it doesn't associate with one gender I mean I feel like this would be a longer conversation but they doesn't associate with one gender or the

Brian Atlasother cuz I mean essentially gender is a social instruct so mhm I'll say it for now maybe we'll come back to that after we get through all

Alexaall the intros um can I just have you scoot your mic that way this way yes okay hi uh pleas also please provide your pronouns for us you know I am a she

Alexaall the way so my name is Alexa I'm 27 years old and I live what else are we supposed to do oh and I'm a project manager speak a little louder please go

Emilyahead um I'm Emily and I'm a student at Questa College in Stan Louis abiso I'm studying um criminal justice but I plan

Emilyon going into probation once I graduate if I graduate you want to be a probation officer MH yeah but I might just go right into the like Workforce I don't

Sophianeed a degree all right age um 18 okay welcome hi my name is Sophia um I what was the I'm 24 um and my occupation I am

Sophiathe Southern California field representative for the Leadership Institute and you can guess my pronouns I'm sure you'll get it right and if you don't I don't care I won't get offended okay what about you hi uh my

Amyname is Amy I am 23 years old I'm currently a student at Cal State Fullerton did you say your age sorry yeah I'm 23 23 okay got it thank

Lynnyou uh my name is Lynn I'm 22 and I work in retail and pron answer she her act wait actually or are you Ming no

Qlike actually no she uses she they I mean she her pronouns okay that answer yeah I'm the C 30 years old behavioral scientist certified relationship coach book Arthur YouTuber okay welcome

Brian Atlaseverybody welcome welcome all right so we're going to go around the table once more what is everyone's current relationship status so are you single are you in a talking stage situationship

Brian Atlasfriends with benefits or relationship are you married poly cool sex cult harm uh if you're single how long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go

Zoeahead I'm single I've been single for 18 years and um I guess I like was in a

Brian Atlastalking stage but that's over I ended that yeah okay so you've been single for 18 years yeah I mean I certainly hope you were single for the

Brian Atlasvast majority uh I mean are people really dating at 2 I don't like people aren't really dating at two so no but okay yeah uh but so I mean what's the longest period of time

Zoethat you've ever dated a guy never like I haven't dated anyone like I've gone on dates but like one date have you had like what about like a

Zoesituationship that lasted like a month or two have you had that I guess I was in like a talking stage for a month but

Zoelike that's it I went to an all girl school for 7 years oh for high school for high school and middle school so okay yeah so what about uh you go to

Brian Atlassbcc right do do you live in IV no I live at Beach City like okay the apartments yeah and you two are friends right so you guys go out and party here in soon last night specifically last

Brian Atlasnight specifically okay mhm and then the day before and the de the night before and then yeah um so I mean you know typically I what I hear when you're in college it's uh people aren't really

Brian Atlasdating in the sense that they go out on a DAT that's like let's hang out let's go party together people up like let's pretty much so I mean have you had that

Brian Atlasexperience no wait yes she hasit well hey yeah okay there we go that's okay good so I have not your

Zoefriend is throwing you under the bus here a little bit she says yes she's she's incorrect wait really yeah okay I'm not going to say I'm not going to we just

Sammet last night kind of we have like mutual friends but yeah I'm not going to get into detail about everything

Samelse do you guys live together bro okay what did you guys live together are you housemates no um her roommate and me we grew up in the same Hometown so we've

Zoebeen friends for like years and I met her through my friend they're roommates so she comes and visits yeah and she's moving next semester comes and

Brian Atlasvisits at Beach City and like we go out oh you going live in Santa Barbara no oh okay I live in s lispo oh okay got it okay gotcha

Zoeokay so nothing like I've gone on dates with guys here and like I've I've hung out with guys here for like a period of time

Zoeand I've like kissed one guy here but like I don't really not yeah I'm just going to leave it at that it looks like your friend is

Zoeprivy to some details that well oh yeah last night we got married yeah both of us got married last night to each other no no no so these guys came to the apartment like randomly I

Samwas sitting outside waiting for somebody to open the door and these two random guys woke up to me and my friend and they were like can we come inside and we were like yeah sure and we all like we wanted all girls to be there but

Samwhatever and this guy just like got on his knee and proposed to me so now I'm like kind of married to him even ring I don't know his name that's pathetic if I were to propose to you I would do

Samsomething I'd bust this out you know oh wait wait wait I found there's her that's the wrong thing that's actually your ring wait okay well I've never been proposed to so I would have know wait but okay

Brian Atlasokay be honest with us though I feel like you're underselling your dating experience a little bit I mean I have a lot to say but she finish she she finished no I like I have my roster oh

Zoeokay okay there we go there we go like I have a few on the burner but I just don't particularly like like to take it to a certain point like I kind of cut

Brian Atlasthings off what do you mean which point are you talking about like you got it P and the V are we talking p and the V yeah sure you don't

Samlike to take it there have you taken it there no never never I I yeah she she's never I can promise you

Brian Atlasthat stop the cap uh but you so you have a roster not you have a roster mhm uh okay and when you say you have a roster how many

Brian Atlaspeople are on your roster um let's think I don't even know I don't even know I guess like four but you guess I kind I just cut one off so you just cut

Brian Atlasone off so now it's three now I guess it's or it was five it was no it's it's three now three now so what does that mean that you have three guys on your roster are you you're kind of hanging out with all of them like how many of

Brian Atlasthe three guys or the four well when did you cut it off with the most recent one um it was yesterday no wait let me think

Zoeit was on Tuesday Tuesday okay so in the past week have you seen all four of them um like hung out you hung out with all four of them I've seen them around one

Zoeof them asked me out but I didn't go cuz I didn't want to go and then um but he that guy actually okay one of the guys on my roster he tried to like get with

Zoeme and my roommate and he's saying oh like we're going to see which one I want I'm like I don't want you now like oh so he's kind of coming off of the roster at this point wait but you I mean you're

Brian Atlasnot exclusive with him he's not exclusive with you what's it matter to you if he try to get with your house like some other girl cuz that's weird cuz he but you're seeing three other guys but it's not about that it's about

Zoethe fact that he is like purposefully trying to go for both of us and he said like I'm I'm trying to stir some up sure I get that that's fair so me and my roommate are like get away from us so do

Zoeyou think these guys you're seeing do you think they also have a roster for sure for sure and actually for shizel oh for shizzel like one of them I was walking with one of them and then

Zoeanother guy the other guy on the roster comes and like he for some reason knew about it and he's like how was that crossover and I'm like what the and then I'm in my car and I see him walking

Zoeup the like the hill with a girl and I was like okay and then another like that same day I saw him walking to class with a girl and then I saw him with his arm around a girl in the span of like 3 days so

Brian Atlasthat's why I cut things off with oh you that's the one you cut the one I cut off okay so then you've got the other three guys on the roster mhm um is there one

Zoein particular that you like more than the others or they're all the but that's the one that like is trying

Brian Atlasto get with me and my roommate so that's fine that's fine um so the one you want the most is the

Brian Atlasone that is trying to your housemate yeah but I don't really want him let's be clear I don't really want him but he's on your roster he's on my roster just so I can have a roster like

Zoejust for fun how do you have a roster but you don't really want any of them I do want them but like but you don't it's just for the ego boost like it's just to have a little

Qfun yeah okay it's for the ego boost partially so they're just there for

Brian Atlasvalidation yeah a little bit okay all right good times here moving moving on uh what

Brian Atlasabout you uh wait like what do you want to know though oh so current relationship status very single very effing single very okay and we do

Brian Atlashave you were so kind to provide us with your dating app profile which we will review later uh but you're despite the dating app presence you are very effing

Samsingle um for a lot of reasons for a lot of reasons I was in a 2-year relationship with the guy throughout High School sure and he broke up with me because I found out I was bipolar he

Brian Atlasfound out that you you were bipolar mhm I got di type one or type two type one is that that's the bad one anxiety that's the anxiety that the bad one that's the manic and depressive I mean I

Amyguess they're bothe depressive I don't know what the I don't know what the B type two is depressive and hypomanic so you're not technically as manic as bipolar one well I'm definitely not depressed but I found out I was bipolar

Samhe left me are you are you currently in a manic phase right now no I'm hung over you're hung over very when's the last time you had a manic phase is that what it's called I don't

Samreally tell if I like have that guess you're just in it and you're you're riding the W well most of the time I get really manic like a week after I drink a lot we should have you back on the show

Samcuz I mean you said you're hung over so why Happ you back in the week deltopia weekend this past year oh yeah that was bad okay I like went on the Easter Bunny shoulders and stuff and almost fell off

Brian Atlasa DJ stand so okay so you're very single okay so you're dating a guy for 2 years in high school you broke up how long ago did you guys break up a little bit over a year and a half ago a year and a half

Brian Atlasago okay so for that year and a half what's the dating life looked like for you

Samum I'm really closed off with men now because he was like my best friend and so when you're like with somebody for so long you get so attached especially your first love cuz we were each other

Samother's first everything I was even his first kiss so when you like let go of something like that I feel like it just hurts so much and it's going to hurt me probably for the rest of my life cuz

Samhe'll always be there somehow for the for the rest of your life I mean yeah he was like my first love like that doesn't I feel like for me that's not going to

Samgo away so are you still in love with him not in a way where it's like in love but I definitely loved who he was and I

Samstill app appreciate him as a person for sure okay even though he left me in a really up way I still he's still

Brian Atlasa good person he cheated on you correct no wait never cheated but like I have been cheated on have been cheated on okay oh wait hold on I'm looking at the

Sophiawrong notes here wait hold on no he found out she was bipolar no he found out I was bipolar yeah can I interject for a second um so I know it's not my term but I just want to comment on what

Sophiayou were saying um there's definitely hope you will get over it I know what you mean like it does stay with you so um I dated a guy for 3 months it took me

Sophia2 years to get over him and during that time we were dating um I was really depressed I had a lot of anxiety um and it was coming out very strong then and

Sophiathat eventually led to the breakup and I mean we were only together for for 3 months but he was my first like serious relationship I mean I'm just saying moving on moving on it took me a while it took me a while to get over it but I did and like it's

Samnot like I never think of him like she's been broken up with him for a year and a half okay yeah I'm better now but they dated for two years I have a lot of hot you have a lot of

Samwhat I have friends in my phone that I they're they're cool you know like I don't want to say I have a roster cuz then I'm look like a a hoe a little bit

Brian Atlasno no no this is a judgment free Z zero judgment speaking of rosters though tell us about it I've talked to a few people who were

Samlike I've talked to an NBA player okay I've talked to a couple musicians um like famous yeah yeah that's someone here

Brian Atlastell us their names why not no any other professional athletes just one NBA player like a track star too track star I was going to say a track

Brian Atlasstar cuz you're a track girly yeah okay he's a very good runner at like someone who run unless you're like Usain Bolt that's you're basically just a ventriloquist then I I wouldn't count that might as well just be a

Samventriloquist um okay so any so musicians any actors or anything I like one actor it was through

Sammutuals cuz I have a lot of friends down in La sure and so everybody's kind of like friends with everybody somehow I would say in a way sure uh so you you said you

Brian Atlashave a roster though how many hold on you were you were like throwing your friend under under the bus like oh I got stories now you can't be bashful now I mean there is

Samthis one guy what what do you mean I I hung out with him on what was it okay I'm not going to say the

Samspecific day it's going to sound wrong no today no oh are you guys hooking up um somewhat I guess I'm trying to be a

Samlittle bit of like a celibate like not fully but I'm not trying to just have sex with a bunch of guys right like it just so I could do it I guess like I'm

SamI'm trying to find someone who's more genuine and I want to like have sex with somebody who also feels the same way like there's some type of feeling instead of having a hookup where it's

Samlike they don't just want you for sex yeah okay they want to pursue something like even if I don't even like want a relationship with them I still want to be their friend and I still want to talk

Samto them you know as a friend if it doesn't go anywhere far how long have

Samyou 4 days four days okay somewhat you said somewhat cibit but he is the the guy I did have sex with he is the only guy

SamI've had sex with in like two months two months okay sure so I'm trying to like space it out he's cool I I puked in

Samhis roommate's bathroom though so it was love at first sight at first his roommates got really mad about it hey at least it was in the bathroom it wasn't his bathro yeah that's that's where

Brian Atlasyou're supposed to borrow I didn't make it to his bathroom oh okay um and then but before you met him did you have a roster no I had a situationship actually

Brian Atlashave you ever had a roster yes do you currently have a roster I cuz you're seeing this guy right he's the only guy that you're hooking up with but are there other guys

Samthat you're kind of for attention yes for attention what do you mean by that not attention but it's it's like everybody does it you know like you

Samyou just you text people like hey you're cute like this and you have wait so you text them that and you have zero intention of like dating them or like you're flirting with them I mean

Samif they offer to hang out I'm like hey I'll get to know you but if if they just want sex I usually don't talk to people like that anymore if they wanted more

Brian Atlaswould you hook up with them depending on how I feel about them but what about twomon guy or whatever what about this current guy that you're seeing

SamI still have to get to know him well you're not exclusive with him right no okay I wouldn't care if he did anything with other people do you want to be exclusive with him I don't know yet you'll know yet after two months no no

Samno no no like he's the only person I have had sex with in the past two months oh how long have you known him 3 weeks Okay so we've been texting

Samand stuff he's a cool guy but of course I don't know I don't know him that well okay so it's still veloping yeah but I had a really bad situationship over

Samsummer that broke me hard like it was horrible give us the uh PL plot synopsis so we met on hinge hinge okay and I was supposed to go to Newport for the 4th of July so my hinge was in Newport and he's

Samfrom LA and so we drove up here actually for the 4th of July got a hotel room everything great night had fun whatever he goes back and we're still texting like you know kind of talking like I

Samenjoyed my time with him I thought he was cool we had a connection so he invites me to go stay with him down in La for 3 days I think and he introduced me to his whole family all of his

Samfriends like his second family like people who like watched him grow up and they were all telling me they're like oh he's never brought a girl around ever and he's 20 he's never had a girlfriend

Samwhich is a huge red flag kind of like at least like I don't know it it was kind of a red flag a little bit okay but I'm the only girl he's ever brought around and so I go back home from that trip and

Sameverything was good like everything was fine all of a sudden he's like I don't want a relationship I don't want any of this because I just I'm not ready for it and I'm like you're 20 years old though

Samlike how are you if you're not mentally ready for a relationship that proves how immature you are and I'm not going to waste my time on that but for like 3 weeks after I cried a lot cuz it was it

Samwas like a weird it was like a onetime thing connection where it's like we got along so well but him so he told you that and then did you immediately cut it off no for 3 weeks

Samafter that we would like we would continue talking calling like crying on the phone like I I would get drunk and then drunk call himun yeah I actually went and

Samsaw maybe I went and saw him again actually after we ended to like clear the air I guess unannounced like you just dropped by his house oh you let him know he you were gone by yeah okay I we

Samplanned it cuz I felt we both felt like we needed that to happen but honestly he a freaking like big like well you said it was like when I when I

Samfirst asked you about it you said it was terrible and awful and well it toxic not not the like part where we were fine but the the aftermath was really toxic and

Brian Atlasnot good like he was just so he no longer wanted to see you is that the part no there's so Sor I didn't mean to cut you off he was so

Samwhat there's just a lot more to it cuz he's the first guy I've like genuinely liked since my ex who literally left me for like a reason that hurt me like

Samevery time I've always found a connection with a person okay they usually leave because they can never handle emotions they can never handle emotions yeah like they can't speak on

Samtheir emotions they can't like handle things like that cuz obviously being bipolar I'm a lot more emotional and most guys can't handle that they can

Sambarely handle like a little bit of like anger and sadness yeah have you ever slashed anybody's

Samtires no I'm not that type of person I don't like to stoop low okay wait how how did that question even come to mind it's just just slid through my brain I I

Samjust don't like stooping low because then it makes me feel like a shitty person even if they are a bad person or they've done something bad it's like their karma will get them on their own is there a treatment for

Brian Atlasbipolar you can be medicated are you medicated yes why I am I'm not scared to say it either no well I'm not the way you said

Samit though I'm sounded like you're not no I am okay you take medication for it not heavy but when you are manic you do have to take them to sleep but that's kind of

Samit I struggled with anxiety for a long time too I took meds for that but I like slowly got off of them cuz I don't want to like rely on them forever wait but you the way you painted it you were it

Brian Atlassounded like the guy was this huge major jerk but what I haven't really heard anything so far that would indicate that he was I don't want to expose him too much cuz he might be

Brian Atlaswatching this can you give us like a vague hint about what he said some really shitty things he said mean things

Samgotcha okay about me personally that I told him about my personal life that's happened to me with like my past and growing up cuz I didn't really have I had a good childhood but mentally I

Samreally didn't and I told him a lot about that and he kind of like used it against me and that's when I knew like I I don't want to do this anymore okay got it all

Brian Atlasright do we Okay roster you said at one point you had a roster I I have what what's the most amount of men you've had on a roster at

Samonce you can be open this is open I wouldn't say I have rusters I would say I have people that I'm into that I've

Samgone on dates with and I'm into them and I try to give it a chance but most of the time it's like they give up cuz they they have the roster you know and so

Samthey kind of give up over time because they're like reaching out to other people and then I just don't really care for it anymore okay so how many of those

Brian Atlaspeople we won't call the roster like right now well just the most at any point three guys talking to at the same time four or five maybe like

Brian Atlas30 30 is the most it was like my junior year of high school in high school okay like juniior like within your high

Brian Atlasschool because wouldn't word spread kind of like no it was other another High School up and down

SamCalifornia up and down California yeah but in high school but I'm not like I'm at what 16 16 OR7 17 it was right after

Brian Atlasand the ex broke up how quickly after the breakup did you arrive at 30 on the roster that summer well we broke up in March broke up in March and then what by

Brian AtlasMay June you had the roster of 30 it's like June or July I mean it was summer like hot girl summer you know are you sure it's not like 31 or 32 or it's like

Brian Atlasexactly 30 I don't I don't know specific it could be more than 30 less than maybe 29 28 I mean that was that was last year you know I don't really remember it's a days it's a days so uh how did you meet

Samlike hinge right did you meet them on dating apps yes but you were you said you're 16 or 17 no no no last year I was 17 last year I was not on dating apps I would actually like on Instagram people

Brian Atlaswould like DM me through my Tik Tok you have a Tik Tok okay God do you are do you have a following on there or just I have 47k okay what do you post Just Dance

Brian Atlastype stuff or I go live sometimes okay you know got to get them bands somehow there you go get the bands uh and you said up and down the California coast

Samhow maybe not the coast specifically I don't know oh sorry Inland it's just people people would like um just text me on Instagram and you know if I found them attrative Pacific Northwest any who knows Pacific

SamNorthwest I don't know okay I don't I don't want to I don't like that anymore though I'm not like that anymore I was like that not going to blame it on the breakup but I

Samdefinitely was a lot more immature last year cuz I yeah I was a lot more immature but so would you were you like hooking up with all these guys no

Samnot at the same time maybe but like the 30 guys had you hooked up with them no no okay maybe like two a couple of okay two got it okay but that was like it

Sampretty much right now though I'm like very single but I'm not closed off anymore at least but you've been dating a guy for 3 weeks no no no we're not dating you're what then you're

Samno we're just getting to know each other wait I thought you I thought you are no but you are you said you you it was one time four days ago four days ago have you talked to him since I'm trying

Brian Atlasnot to because I puked in his roommate's bathroom oh so you were like intoxicated very no no no no no no no it's not like that I was aware no no that's not what

Brian AtlasI'm saying but but so you're trying to not the guy that you broke your celibacy for you're now no longer trying to talk to him because of the Happ cuz I'm just

Brian Atlasscared he like thinks I'm like crazy or something now I mean isn't it pretty common if you've you've drank a lot of alcohol to I mean yeah I just don't know

Samhis opinion on it to be honest I haven't really asked so we've been snapping oh snapping yeah so you are talking to him with my face and not like text oh

Brian Atlasyou don't write any messages it's just no I just photos take a take a photo send it and he sends what back a photo of his face too sometimes the

Brian Atlasceiling Oh I thought you about to say something else okay um no not that he sends photos of the ceiling yeah because I send photos of the ceiling how people communicating

Brian Atlas2023 here's a photo of my face dude responds back here's the wall unfortunately that is how the time it's like kind of have you tried

Brian Atlashigh high have you maybe maybe sending a high could work how you doing how's it going I mean you you you know what you

Brian Atlascould even communicate to him with smoke signals if we're going to be like non was not it's not non-verbal it's uh

Brian Atlasnonlinguistic Smoke Stack signals I the is that you've never heard of smoke signals yodling from mountain tops I don't know um that's how they used to communicate back in the day um what your day you

Brian Atlasknow back in my day yeah I'm I'm a boomer over here um okay so uh do you want do you have your phone on you just say what's up how's it going I don't know

Brian Atlasyou're watching this I'm going to be so embarrassed this is the guy you broke your celibacy for my mom just texted me I'm watching you what's what's her yo is

Brian Atlasis your mom is she hi Mom what's her name um don't watch this please is your mom single by the way no I have a wonderful stepdad never mind well you're into Mills never I mean I'll show

Brian Atlasyou a picture of her you want to see a picture sure why not okay wait should I text him I cannot show his name just

Claireokay fine move we moving on um oh wow he looks hot in that way hold on I couldn't confirm he looks C uh what about you oh I'm I'm kind of scared

Claireyou're going to grill me now but um mine's a little less exciting I'm in a situationship SL single I've been single for 3 years and my longest relationship

Brian Atlaswas a year long single for three years in a situationship with a man or a woman with a man okay mhm you're you're by correct M and I I don't know what the

Brian AtlasI don't know where you got that from but I guess you could say that I don't know I I think girls are really pretty but I'm definitely more attracted to guys well I think you showed us your uh dating profile before the show and it

Brian Atlassome said maybe indicated something that you were interested in women I don't know most people have that impression of me I'm not sure why so you're in a situationship how long's the situationship been for about two months

Brian Atlastwo months yeah and my understanding is you are let me just pull this up here one sec guys mhm and we have quite a bit of pre-show

Claireinformation from everybody here so you uh you're Christian mhm your virgin waiting for marriage is that correct uh not necessarily like till we tie the knot but I'm waiting for the person I

Clairefeel like I'm you know like we have a strong connection and like I feel like we're going to be together forever and like in the event that it doesn't work out like I wouldn't be disappointed in myself can you scoot your microphone

Brian Atlasthat way yeah um like this no no no just like keep scooting it yeah yeah that's good also found a picture of my mom show

Brian Atlasme later it's fine um okay we'll talk after the show well in your first message to us you said that you're a Christian and a

Brian Atlasvirgin waiting for marriage however I think you clarified later on saying that you're saving yourself for the person you feel like you're going to marry which is different than waiting for marriage yeah that's like that's why I made that clarification because I don't

Clairewant to necessarily wait till like the day that we get married but if I feel like we have a strong because I just my whole thing is like when I lose my virginity to someone I want it to be about like our connection and our

Claireemotions sure and you know like I said I've been single for 3 years and none of my relationships have been really healthy and they were when I was in high school um so yeah I'm just waiting for the person that I feel like we have a strong connection and we'll probably you

Brian Atlasknow be together for a really long time okay um and what I in your pre-show notes and thank you for being so detailed Yeah you mentioned that you're

Brian Atlasyou're Christian however you said you have very Li liberal views strongly support lgbtq Community feminism women's rights in general you are pro-choice

Brian Atlascorrect um especially the choice to have an abortion you're into socialism and unconventional family Dynamics what what does that mean really quick what is unconventional family for I'm going to

Claireuse like Po excuse me Po like poly or gay relationships or since you don't like the they thems non-binary relationship it's not that I don't like

Brian Atlasthem and I'm not using that word in the pronoun sense um I just the the pronoun thing is confusing to me to I can explain it to you later well it's or right

Clairenow look I I just don't I feel like if you look at somebody you can have a pretty reasonable assessment that's the issue is that we've been following that tradition for so long that men and women look a certain way and whoever created

Brian Atlasthat you know where did you learn that from I don't think men and women look a certain way and that's what we're trying to change I mean every every single person here is besides q and me and Nick are female okay and how many people are

Brian Atlasin this room and how many people live in the world like we're such a small percentage I've made I've just by looking at you guys I can make like I don't need to see your going ads I don't even need to see your chromosomes I can

Clairemake a determination pretty simply I mean you're yeah but you're basing that opin dep on a group of nine people and like you are specifically you say I'm pretty sure like 99% of people I'd be able to like okay but you just said you

Clairesaid female reach out girls reach out to me so obviously people who identify as a girl are going to reach out to you and you're going to have girls in here wait what because you say you're like girls I say casting women yeah

Clairewomen sorry women well girls women yeah yeah female yeah so obviously people who identify as a woman are going to reach out to you okay so you can't make that assessment based on just who on your podcast well I mean I I could walk

Brian Atlasaround Isa Vista and with a probably a 99% certainty determine whether someone's a male or a female okay let's do that experiment then I'm down you think what what do you think my percentage rate would be on that you think i' off I think you'd be surprised

Brian Atlaswith the college kids yeah I think I could probably even someone who I would say even somebody who considers themselves non-binary I think I could guess whether they're male or female well that's the issue well do you at

Brian Atlasleast acknowledge that somebody who's non-binary is male or female no no they're not male or female they're not minary no we're talk that's gender I'm talking about

Clairesex do you know I'm not I'm not going to try to guess someone's biological sex what for what reason would I do that you do acknowledge there's a difference between gender and sex though yeah okay

Brian Atlasmhm but you do you so male and female that's in reference to sex not gender okay so then what we can have a conversation about man and

Emilywoman okay okay those are genders sex and female is or male and female are sex and man and woman is a gender so you can't use female interchangeably with

Brian Atlasgender because it's not the same definition let me ask you a question do you acknowledge that somebody who identifies as non-binary can be male or female biologically yeah okay do you

Brian Atlasdo you acknowledge that somebody who identifies as a woman could be a male biologically yeah well we're talking about sex I mean yes okay but I I mean I think if I think if someone because

Claireyou're talking about trans people obviously right are non-binary people trans well you said if someone identifies as a woman and that specific

Claireyes if some if a if yeah well I mean I mean yeah biologically they started as a male but I like to consider them a female I mean that's I'm just going to

Brian AtlasI'm going to respect their preference well you cannot become a male or female I think that's just a difference in opinion between you and I right even

Brian AtlasI would say even mainstream people who are transgender would agree that you cannot become a different sex you cannot become a female you

Brian Atlascannot become a male we there there is a conversation about becoming a man or becoming a woman that's very different though I mean what about like if you get

Clairelike a gender reversal surgery or like I don't isn't that essentially kind of I mean you can get fake tits that doesn't make you a male at its core yeah you

Clairestill have like XX chromosomes or XY chromosomes sure but you can transition as much you know as you want to as you to you you I mean there's you

Brian Atlascan identify as a you were born as a female you can identify as a male MH or excuse me you were born as a

Clairefemale you can identify as a man mhm yeah but you you you're not a male your sex can't change I like I said I mean you have

Clairehormones I mean there's different surgeries you can get I mean I think essentially you're in you're inserting yourself with biologics of the opposite gender like what would you say about hormones then like do hormones do

Brian Atlasnothing do you do you think that the difference between male and female can be diminished to just the endocrine system I think in this day and age yeah just the endocrine system what about the

Brian Atlasmuscular Muscular skeletal system what about the cardiovascular system do you not acknowledge there's differences I do there there's no therapy to to change

Brian Atlassomeone's uh cardiovascular system for example that is true or their muscular skeletal system estrogen and testosterone does change stuff like muscle might have an impact but it it doesn't for example there's certain

Clairedifferences when it comes to the angle of like uh I believe the hip for example okay then I would agree yeah there's some bi okay let me phrase it this way there are some biological

Claireaspects that yeah you just can't change with surgery but we like as time has gone on we've accepted more transgender people we've offered them more care there are like there are drastic ways

Claireyou can go about you know appearing as the gender that you would like to identify with okay go ahead um I would just like to

Sophiaask a question so if uh gender and sex are two different things and gender is a social construct then what's the point of getting sex reassignment surgeries if

Sophiayou're transgender other than like uh what is it called body dys body dysmorphia which is like even if you're not transgender you can have that you can so what's the question you can be

Sophialike anorexic whatever um like what's the point of sex reassignment surgeries if gender and sex are two different things and gender is a social construct I I think that's the issue that Brian and I were running into is like yes they

Claireare two different things gender is a construct and sex is something factual and biological but I I think in um and like we were saying there are some aspects that you're not going to be able to change completely when it comes to your sex but why try to change anything

Claireat all if gender and sex are are separate and gender is a social construct Why Try To Change because people people who are trans they feel extremely uncomfortable and troubled by the fact that they still have biological

Sophiaparts of the gender they do not identify with so don't you think that we should be approaching that issue from the psychological Point like why do you feel

Claireuncomfortable instead of putting them through these drastic surgeries uh I mean it it are you talking about adults or because I feel like kids would be a different um well in general and okay I'm going to speak for adults then

Brian Atlasbecause I think kids would be way different um but can you ref what was the question again here let's move on yeah that's a whole other conversation that's another sorry to St away you did say unconventional family Dynamics so you're saying like kids growing up in

Clairelike polygamous or like gay relation cuz I I I see a lot of like propaganda that are like oh if if you have a child in a gay relationship your child is more likely to grow up gay and there's statistics

Clairethat show like whether a child grows up in a heterosexual or a homosexual household they have the same probability of being gay or not okay yeah I mean when it typically though when I think of

Brian Atlasunconventional family Dynamics if there's two loving parents in the household cool yeah what I think where I think it probably gets a little difficult is if there's like

Clairethree parents so it's like polyamory um I think that's probably a little can be I think another one that I that comes to mind like unconventional cuz you said like two happy parents like single moms like I think you can like

Clairethere are plenty of single moms out there and I think you can like you know completely raise a child by your own I mean it's going to be really difficult and if you have a support system that'll make it a lot easier um but yeah I support those kind

Brian Atlasof family Dynamics as well okay I mean I think it's better if you can have two parents in the house I mean arguably yeah statistically proven too yeah I mean I'm not saying it's better to have

Brian Atlasa single mom but I think you can definitely do it like it's not possible done yeah yeah but I think you're it's if you have two parents in the household it's probably better for the child I

Brian Atlasmean probably yeah yeah um and then social there's a lot socialism okay I I feel like we should move on to the relationship no I I'll get through it really quick but so there's the

Clairesocialism what so what what's that mean to you uh I mean think about absolutely everything in this country you have to pay for like the parking spot I'm in right now I should be paying for that isn't that ridiculous like you have to

Claireeverything is capitalized upon if we had a socialistic society number one people wouldn't be as rich as they are right now and we wouldn't have class differences like we have right now like I think we live in a system where they

Clairepurposely want different classes they purposely gatekeep education why is education so expensive you know you mean like higher education higher education

Brian Atlasyeah uh why is education so expensive probably because the government uh the the you cannot

Brian Atlasdischarge your student loans through bankruptcy therefore uh these companies both the

Brian Atlasgovernment and in uh corporations that issue student loans have no incentive to deny people student loans because it can't be discharged in bankruptcy so

Claireyeah that's probably part of it I reckon yeah but isn't that but that's the thing is like isn't that unfair like because you're talking about all these corporate like if we didn't live in such a capitalistic Society we wouldn't have a

Brian Atlasa conversation about all these big corporations because they'd be under control so do you are you proposing what like how should Society look I mean obviously I'm not going to change the whole society by myself but how should

Brian Atlasit look I mean look at countries like Norway like Norway is a really small one so it's a little bit hard to compare isn't Norway capitalist no they're socialist they also have a they don't

Brian Atlasthey have economically though aren't they capitalist no they have a social I'm not I'm not there's two public universities and you don't have to pay to go well you can have free education

Brian Atlasbut still live in a I I'm not this is not a topic I'm super well versed that's the other thing maybe chat can can tell me does I'm pretty sure Norway it's still a

Alexacapitalist Society no I have a friend from nor my ex is Norwegian so I can actually answer this one it's it's not a capitalist Society but it is very hard to live there they do have free healthare and free education but they also have to serve in the military yeah

Brian Atlasand they they but let me ask so they for men it is let's just make sure we're talking about the same thing so in Norway you mentioned a parking spot earlier yeah you're saying in Norway you don't

Clairelook this is not a topic I'm particularly well versed in there's no currency in Norway don't they have croners isn't the yeah but not not absolutely everything you have to pay for like think you have to pay for

Alexaabsolutely everything in this country you have to pay for I've been to Norway it's very expensive it's everything but that's because a lot of people have a lot of money because no they don't they average the average salary of a

Brian AtlasNorwegian individual is like 67,000 and it's more expensive to live there it's $14 for McDonald's well they're they're also very wealthy because of their the government set up a fund related to

Brian Atlastheir natural uh resources their uh what is it oil I think so very I'm not sure I don't know um I don't know why we're

Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast um okay so you Society you shouldn't have to pay for things is what you're saying everything should be free I mean no I don't think everything should be free but you mentioned the parking spot that should be free that's

Clairesomething I shouldn't P okay like when I go sorry I'm getting heated because this is something that makes me mad like when I go to school for example you see Santa Cruz it's either I go and I pay for parking and there's not like I could drive up there and there's like no

Claireparking and I'm like what am I going to do I'm just going to be late for class I have to risk getting a parking ticket like post like parking in a spot I'm not supposed to or I take the bus that never comes like at the time it's going to

Clairecome like why is transportation so difficult for me like to go to the school that I pay so much money for already I have to pay for coffee I have to pay for it's just like I already pay you guys all of this money where is it

Clairegoing to so coffee should be socialized it was just it was just an example cuz I had this one day I was like I got to pay for parking I to pay for my coffee and it was like seven and it's like I already give the school so much money they

Alexashould be offering some resources for free coffee should be free we should not be paying for coffee if you pay like if you pay $20,000 of tuition into your college but but so then you could also make the

Alexaargument that it pays for your library it pays for your professors it pay your tuition actually does go to something do I think schools I paid acious amount of money for school and I that was but that was a choice that I made yeah it's a choice of also what school you go to you

Alexacan choose to go to a community college first save I I'm a big advocate for Community College first two years save a ton of money and then decide to transfer at that point you can save so much money I think it is ridiculous that

TTS/Chatyou have to spend so much money on parking UCSD I didn't but I looked at it seven deadly simps donated $100 than you seven deadly simp my sprinkler goes like

TTS/Chatlike a rat what is it comes back like 777 desan 777 nonilon 777 thank you

TTS/Chatdeadly 77 777 7007 quintilian 777

TTS/Chat777 M [Music]

Brian Atlas777777 wow okay he added to something new there thank you man appreciate it um and just the last thing okay so but so you're a Christian but like don't some of your views kind

Claireof counter to Christian doctrine I mean that I I feel like you're asking me so many questions I could talk a lot about I feel like we should move on to the relationship I know I just people don't want to hear me blabber well

Brian Atlashere's the last thing I mean so the the one that strikes me as the most kind of Contra contradictory a little bit is is so you're Pro you're pro-choice right

Clairebut when it comes to Christianity the Christian doctrine wouldn't that indicate that you ought to be pro-life I mean it it could like what doc like are you talking about a

Clairespecific doctr like what are you talking about like a document I can't I can't cite to a speci I'm saying is like do you even know it's a core religious value of Christianity if you can't even tell me where it's at well I I'm not I'm

Brian Atlasnot particularly well versed in the Bible but perhaps I don't know if okay um you knit me together in my mother's womb and what can you interpret that in

SophiaModern English please uh so that's a Bible verse saying that God created you inside your mother's womb and there's another Bible verse I'm blanking on it

Sophiabut like he knew you like even before then does anybody know that Bible verse there that like the one he knit he knit you together in your mother's womb and then there's another one but I can't think of the second one right now mhm

Lynnwell something like he knew you before you were created in your mother like he knew you before you became an actual person like he knew your soul and your like Spirit yeah that's that's the idea I can't remember like the exact verse

TTS/Chatbut that's I don't know exactly what it is grim reaper 69 donated $100 thank you man appreciate it question for the ladies if the Grim Reaper comes and says should I take your life or your

Samhusband's who do you choose we'll go around the table on this we'll start with you go ahead my husband of course sorry it depends on the situation you

Samknow just however you take the question I mean if he's a shitty husband bye but if if like let's say he's a he's

Alexaa good husband I if I love him enough yeah I would take mine okay I'd take mine depends if we have kids I'd say probably take the I'm sorry I'm offing

Brian Atlasto my husband but I'll take care of the kids if you have kids you no if we have kids him oh okay yeah yeah the Grim Reaper takes the husband if you don't have kids

Brian Atlasalso the husband I'll sacrifice I'll sacrifice sacrif okay all right I'm going to heaven it's okay Emily what about you into the mic if I had kids me I'd want my husband to make sure they're safe didn't have kids if I didn't have

Emilykids probably also the husband probably no probably still me because I wouldn't marry someone unless like I really loved them and I wouldn't want still you so it would be me either way but if I had kids

Emilyyou get saved or you get no I would die so both ways both situations if I had kids even more me cuz I'd want my husband to make sure they're safe yeah and then if we didn't have kids I just

Sophiawouldn't want to be alive without my man Sophia uh me because I know that um I would go be with Jesus and also because there is no greater love than to lay

Amydown your life for another so definitely me um if it's just the two of us me but we have kids him ly I'd say me especially if I have

TTS/Chatkids okay Bender the offender donated $99 yo what's up Bender American Idiot by Green Day was ahead of its time and the

Brian AtlasSkittles Colored Lady proves it I a flex on do je response besides that is that that was Theon okay bendra hey bendra Defender

Brian Atlasgood to see you in the chat man much appreciated um okay so here moving on um maybe we can come back to some of that stuff later what about you I am recently

Alexasingle recently single how recently like we've been like on and off kind of trying to do the breakup but like I would see officially like a month and a half okay

Brian Atlasum that's uh longest relationship long relationship three and a half almost four years three to four years okay and I had you provided some pre-show notes here I'm just going to go through them

Brian Atlasreally quick so you said two out of your three of your serious relationships came from Tinder it did dating app okay you also did a challenge that you did uh 50

Alexadates in 50 days with 50 different guys that was the attempt yeah so I didn't start dating until I was 19 I was homeschooled for most of my life so I graduated early and then I was in

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