HEATED DEBATE On NOT Reciprocating In The Bedroom?! | Dating Talk #99

Date: 2023-09-11

Duration: 4h 58m

Guests

Brian Atlas

PPixie (DT130)>

AAmy Dangerfield >

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_00TTS(audience)

SPEAKER_02Amy Dangerfield(guest)

SPEAKER_03Brian Atlas(host)

SPEAKER_05Lauren(guest)

SPEAKER_06Emmy(guest)

SPEAKER_07Pixie(guest)

SPEAKER_08Kathy(guest)

SPEAKER_09Alessia(guest)

Key Moments

OtherLauren reveals she dated Martin Shkreli on-and-off for ~2 years, moved in briefly, and remains friends. Story includes fake Tiffany's proposal on livestream where he said 'just kidding' after she said yes.

“He took me to a Tiffany's and then he proposed to me in the Tiffany's and then when I said yes he said just kidding”

OtherLauren discloses she served 2 years in the military (honorable discharge), earned a math degree, went to law school, and passed the bar — currently tutoring.

“so on like my military paperwork says I have an honorable discharge I honorably served my country for two years did basic training I did OSUT I did SEER then I went on to get a math degree and then I went on to go to law school and then I passed the bar”

OtherAlessia discloses history of in-person sex work including the Bunny Ranch, being arrested twice at age 19, and a difficult childhood that led her to sex work.

“I was just doing different types of sex work like everything everything you could possibly think of and it was the Bunny Ranch”

ControversyHeated debate over reciprocating oral sex. Brian says he does not perform oral sex but ensures partner climaxes in other ways. Pixie pushes back strongly that this is selfish. Emmy says it must be mutual.

“is it a deal breaker if a guy doesn't want to go down on you”

QuoteBrian jokes that the only woman who could give him a satisfactory hand job would be a virtuoso cellist with the technique from playing strings.

“I will accept a dry handy from a cello player like a virtuous cello or violin otherwise these normal women out here who don't have the necessary the requisite technique”

OtherLauren self-rates her looks as 3-4. Pixie reveals that 7 men approached Lauren at bars in a single night, arguing Lauren is delusional for rating herself that low.

“uh Lauren four three...this girl we went out to the freaking bars like the other day a seven men hit on her like in the night like one after that after the other”

Key MomentPixie accuses Brian's feminism arguments of being based on only talking to conservative men, not actual feminist research. Brian calls her argument erroneous. Exchange becomes heated with both talking over each other.

“you literally yeah to stem which is one of the biggest disparities...you can say no no but guess what I'm a feminist I'm actually part of these movements”

Topics Discussed

Guest introductions and relationship status round

Brian introduces panel; each guest gives name, age, occupation, and relationship status. Includes discussion of Kathy's non-binary dating, Pixie's pansexuality, Emmy's DM pitch deck boyfriend, Alessia's post-breakup celibacy, Lauren's non-binary identity and Martin Shkreli connection, Amy's 4-year ended relationship.

Martin Shkreli story

Lauren describes her ~2-year on-and-off quasi-relationship with Martin Shkreli before and during his criminal proceedings. Details the fake Tiffany's proposal livestream prank where he said 'just kidding' after she said yes.

OnlyFans safety, parasocial relationships, and sex work

Discussion of OnlyFans parasocial dynamics, male ownership feelings from financial transactions, whether OF is safer than traditional in-person sex work. Amy raises concerns about lack of safety protocols. Alessia defends OF as safer from her personal experience in multiple forms of sex work.

Violence statistics: male vs female victims, street safety

Debate on whether women or men face more violence. Brian argues women receive free male protection on streets; Pixie counters with bystander effect and NYC subway assault cases. Emmy cites size differential as reason for intervention. Discussion of gang violence by race and gender demographics.

Dating dynamics: who pays, deal-breakers, serenade

First date paying debate (Alessia: man should pay because he invited), body hair preferences, love languages, gift-giving reciprocity, whether being serenaded is romantic or cringe. Brian says he would not serenade.

MAIN DEBATE: Reciprocating oral sex

Heated debate on whether refusing to perform oral sex on a partner is a deal-breaker if the partner has no expectation of reciprocation. Brian reveals he does not perform oral sex but ensures partner climaxes other ways. Discussion of hand jobs vs. blow jobs. Pixie and Emmy argue reciprocation is required for fairness.

Attraction, OnlyFans income, and dating OF creators

Whether men would date women with OnlyFans. Self-rating round: guests rate their looks 1-10. Discussion of attractiveness subjectivity vs. objective symmetry-based metrics. Pixie rated herself 7, Amy 6, Kathy 7, Alessia 9-10, Lauren 4.

Feminism, nature vs. nurture, and wage gap

Whether guests consider themselves feminists. STEM representation debate. Nature vs nurture on gender differences in work ethic and ambition. Amy argues evolutionary psychology drives male work drive. Pixie and Emmy argue social conditioning explains disparities. Wage gap discussion.

Male privilege vs. male oppression

Brian asks if male privilege provides more benefit than female privilege. Discussion of emotional suppression as male oppression. Pixie argues social norms cause more discrimination against women than laws. Brian argues toplessness is the only legal right differential. Tubal ligation policies debated.

Military conscription vs. women's right to vote

Brian argues forced military conscription is a greater historical grievance than women not having the right to vote. Pixie and Lauren counter that lack of voting rights meant total subjugation without legal recourse. Discussion of historical domestic violence norms, IDF mandatory service. Brian notes women got the vote in 1920 just two years after WWI.

Transcript

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Emmyhow many people I I don't think I share my location with anybody so I want to bring up that most women share their locations with other women and friends just as like a primary safety like hey

Emmyif I go on this date this is where I'm at something could happen and it's just we're taught to always be cautious because things can happen and then we

Emmyget blamed if something does happen a lot of times like if someone drugs our drink or if someone ends up assaying us like it's typically

Emmylike oh we didn't take enough precaution you always have to have an out like hey like I'm right here come pick me up whatever okay yeah it was

Brian Atlasall right okay let's [ __ ] talk about something else um so um hold on let me see if there's any chats uh dangerous places

Brian AtlasI mean as far as okay just really quick me personally like me not sharing my location I don't go to bars I don't go to clubs I don't go to parties so I'm not putting myself in potentially violent situations that often happen

Brian Atlaswhen you are like so I could it's plausible that the girl that three times a week she's getting [ __ ] tanked at uh at bars and nightclubs it's probably likely that she's going to be sharing

Brian Atlasher location with more people because she is putting herself in those sorts of when you're out at nightclubs and bars and parties like it is a vulnerable it's a vulnerable position for both men and women yeah

Amy Dangerfieldwith the patients where I feel like I would need to I used to share it with my ex um you might need to just uh and to be honest when I came over here and I traveled to California I kind of thought though I thought about that I'm like wow he was the only person who actually had

Amy Dangerfieldmy location and I'm here in this state where I don't know anyone and I did think about that for a second but to your point no I didn't I'm not with a bunch of my friends it was with one person I mean I don't really go to a

Emmybunch of clubs or bars or anything but I always share my location no matter what with like my best friends with with just people that even if we're just like having dinner or something like oh this where did you park and it's just like

Kathyvery casual for me right but maybe it's like the location or like age thing I don't know I actually do share my location with a lot of people too and I think it might be like a physical location thing

Kathybecause I live in the middle of LA and not going to share where but I don't feel safe walking around sometimes going just going to the grocery store by myself sometimes which is why I share my locations sure with friends also I would

Brian Atlaspoint out I think you mentioned the word feel right so I do think it's the case that women feel less safe but like if you look at the actual data the actual statistics as far when it comes to violent crime across the board generally

Emmyspeaking men are more likely to be victims of violent crime they're more likely but then you don't want to be harassed either even if they're not gonna stab you you don't want someone following home and like hit on you yeah sure yeah that doesn't sound you don't want someone following you of

Laurencourse yeah did you have something for this Lauren it sounded like well just like you're you said violent crimes across the board so I'd imagine those statistics a lot of them would include like gang violence and then also men who are assaulting each other and then one

Laurenis considered the victim even though they're both kind of at it fighting with each other so I think that's going to inflate the statistics I would I don't really know wait what you're saying that men so the statistics of violence

Amy Dangerfieldperpetrated by men you're saying that's inflated by male versus male violence as well which is being categorized into that statistic yeah so like not so much just like random victims on the street I

Laurendon't think that like men are being perpetrated more often than females like in those situations they are though also I like mugging and stuff you don't think your statistics are inflated by gang

Pixieviolence and other types of like violence among no I male groups if you probably removed gang violence it would still be uh more likely I I think um as well earlier it also

Pixiedepends like on type of violence and that's why women are like more cautious as well because I think that there is a very big difference for people saying like oh you know we gone to fist fight maybe there was like a stabbing versus

Pixielike oh there was a potential stabbing and Essay right or human trafficking potentially or things of that degree so I think that also um for a lot of people

Brian Atlasit's like would you rather be beat up or would you rather be horribly aside and I think a lot of people would pick like the beating up wait so you hold on you're comparing essay to getting beat up but like let's talk about murders men

Pixieare more likely to be victims of murder would you rather be essayed or be murdered oh you don't want me to answer this question I think you literally okay you'd rather be murdered that's I mean no I mean I

Brian Atlasdon't I don't think that's an answer other people should have but it's not a fair comparison to say would you rather just get into a fist fight or get [ __ ] violently essayed well but

Pixiethat's that's exactly that's the point you're saying like oh no men overall um you know they're more victims of violence et cetera Etc yeah they are no I mean there are certain now there's

Pixiethere's differentials in terms of women are more likely to be S8 although I mean yes women are more likely to be human trafficked women are more likely to be victims of domestic assault yes in the

EmmyUnited States women are more likely what does it mean to be human trafficking just so I'm clear are we talking like pimping yeah labor there's labor trafficking there's a lot of different types of human trafficking you're more likely to like

Amy Dangerfieldbe a main in trafficked here so basically it goes beyond a lot of people when they think human trafficking right they think I'm a slave like I'm in Chains or I am being

Amy Dangerfieldlike physically or you know mentally exploited right um but what they're saying now is that the Love Away method of human trafficking is also equally

Amy Dangerfieldmeaning that like you could get the same level of punishment prison time everything for the lovable method versus you know any other forms of human trafficking which are done by force

Amy Dangerfieldversus coercion so coercion is basically like making a woman believe that you love them right and then forcing them into sex work under some type of guys of

Amy Dangerfieldrelationship or cohabitation situation which is what the Tates are facing right now um so it's Romanian law and that's that's Romania coercion is also applicable on the U.S law as well right

Laurenand the improved coercion so you have like pretty subjective but you're trying to show that there's some sort of power Dynamic so it I read the Romanian law

Laurenand I don't know the American law because I wasn't interested in it and at least in Romania they like specifically say that there has to be some sort of power differential where the person feels like a loss of control and what

Laurenthey're trying to say in the take case is they have like some text message Exchange in which uh now there's debate whether or not this text message exchange is real but in which uh it

Laurenseems like the Tates are saying like let's get poor people and like let's get poor girls who will not be able to leave and yada yada but there's doubt whether or not that's a real text exchange there's doubt whether that will be

Laurenadmissible evidence it's doubt whether or not that's about the women that are the prime victims in the alleged victims in the case so um yeah but because technically improved

Amy Dangerfieldcoercion completely like unless you have like physical documented evidence like very difficult it's kind of like a rape case right unless you have the physical like evidence right and you're able to get a rape kit like immediately yeah

Amy Dangerfieldlet's not talk about that great but sorry that it's very similar type of thing right where it's highly subjective in the court of law yeah oftentimes yeah I have a question though okay so when it

Brian Atlascomes to like DV right so you often hear interpartner violence that oh men are just beating women up on mass but what's interesting to me is

Brian Atlasdomestic violence rights are actually lowest amongst gay men and highest amongst lesbian women so I believe it so how's the rate of

Emmyreports that's kind of like interesting reported like is yeah it's a rate of reporting like you don't think women would report more likely than men I think men don't report DV at all I think there are a lot of abusive women out

Brian Atlasthere who beat men up but men choose to not report to the police so so you're saying oh I mean that's almost further proven my point a little bit but

Pixieyeah I think um what is it at least from the self-reports like separate from like let's say like police reports it still seems like there's a disparity but I absolutely can agree with you that yeah like a lot of men are disincentivized

Pixiefrom going to the police or reporting in general because there is a general stigma against men who are in these situations and that's really sad and horrible however I would say that most

Emmymen on average can overpower women and if a woman decided to physically beat a man up the man can stop them physically just muscle mass wise in height and

Brian AtlasWeight Wise weight class I'm not I'm not just conversation's such a buzz kill I don't want to talk about DV and sa anymore um okay um what's the next topic all right

Brian Atlasum okay wait so Emmy for you you said your boyfriend and you said he made you this pitch deck uh in your pre-show notes to us you also said he made he gifted you furniture on

Brian Atlasthe first date yeah okay what did he give you like a duvet went on a duvet a [ __ ] uh he gave me a table top because he just moved into your home right you said you just bought your home

Emmyyeah I got I got my home around like a month before that me and him ever met but we started talking like whenever um and I was on the twitch stream and I was like oh my God my Ikea like tabletop

Emmyis breaking down and he was on the stream and he was like yeah I got like a wood guy I got the best one in town

Emmythat's what got her so he bought you just a table top yeah he got like two big slabs of wood oh we got you wood he delivered any wood um

Brian Atlasyeah did you did he also give you the wood no not on the first day yeah okay uh services second dude did he show up with some

Emmywith a package my second day not like you know um I think yeah I think it's like around second or third date yeah what'd he get you on the third date

Emmyholiday time spent

Brian Atlasyeah okay what's your love language Brian My love language yeah what uh what what are the five it's physical touch words of

Amy Dangerfieldaffirmation quality time and then access source of services yeah I want to say acts of service number one

Brian Atlasum physical touch

Brian Atlasquality time is pretty that's down there uh yeah like to receive gifts you like to give gifts ah gifts gifts would be like

Laurenseconds don't know more he loves it look at his face light up every time someone says he's like and his attachments to like certain physical items like you

Laurenhave some like emotional attachments to something yeah like the very autistic yeah that's diagnose Brian right now chat what do you think what's the wait so okay uh acts of service physical touch

Brian Atlaswhat's the other one acts of service is top

Emmywords of affirmation words of so like you did a great job Brian you did so I'm proud of you you're so amazing that was amazing that was the sickest show like that makes you feel great

Brian Atlasuh yeah I mean he's smiling and saying they're all good I like them all I like them all um I don't know I the I feel like the whole love language thing though is kind of [ __ ] a

Emmylittle bit I don't know it's just like they're I don't know you can't categorize things I guess yeah because doesn't quality time include all of it like is it quality time still if you just like don't talk along you like send me a

Laurenstack of cash you don't spend time with me right

Brian Atlasalso with the whole uh lights okay with whole love language thing when like for example on the dating app if you see somebody list their love

Brian Atlaslanguages it's not clear to me if that's what you desire or that's how you show love they tend to be both they tend to be is it both because I like giving

Emmygifts like I like to I don't know make like a personal card for people but not necessarily receiving that you don't like to receive the cards if you've got a card you'd be like what the [ __ ] is

Laurenthis why don't you hang out with me instead dumbass card people tend to people tend to show people how they want to be interacted with and so people it's

Laurennot always for everybody so maybe you're an exception but most people tend to do what they want to receive projecting they're projecting basically so like I

Emmyam pretty good at like painting and drawing and that's like what my friends think is cool so I like to make little crafts and things for my friends because you know they'll appreciate it

Emmyspecifically yeah but I don't necessarily expect that at all yeah like if my friend is really good at like where's the affirmation if you're like an essay or poem person I think like a poem is like oh cool but I can't do that

Emmyreally someone hands you a poem and you're gonna be like oh wow I'm really I feel like I wouldn't be able to have like all my birthday it's like oh like happy birthday I just you know you're my best friend there's okay there's some gifts that people really do think

Laurenthey're doing the right thing and it is the wrong thing like my friends someone serenaded her one time to prom and I just remember thinking if someone

Unknownserenaded me I just cringe I'd like I would I'd point and laughs is incredible what if he was the best

Emmymusician that you've ever what was your favorite musician right like what if it was like that and like they started playing the guitar or like DJing like so if a doll serenades me

Amy Dangerfieldum I think I would I think I would become low because you're straight so the male equivalent of Adele I don't know who I don't even know who to compare to that but if you like One Direction okay you have to admit you'd

Laurenbe about it I'd be about it but but depends on the skills they don't have the skill to back it up right they didn't have the skills to back off the ground honestly even if they were good I don't think I would like it because this

Laurenguy was good this guy was pretty good now they're trans so now now she's good well I mean that says a lot but I'm kind of I'm kind of that way with

Amy Dangerfieldlike a striptease I'm just like oh my God you get a lot of shape teasers gifted to you no oh yeah he's like I've experienced this several is that an

Brian Atlasactive service or is that quality time what where does that works gift giving I'm giving you my underwear it's just

Brian Atlaslike oh okay striptease cool like oh it's opposite you're just like why bro you don't need to put on some [ __ ] performance for him that's good he just

Laurenlike wants to get straight to it just get naked get it done no no deliver the woods I'm just kidding

Amy Dangerfieldthis white tea the white tea right have you guys heard of that the [ __ ] you've never been YT before you know what it was till I was on Xeno stream right is this where you just

Pixiewearing white tea and over on like it's a striptease basically but like guys give it to girls like they take off their white t-shirts

Brian Atlaswait so you don't like wait Nick can you sing the microphone no I'm just really loud I need you to double check make sure she's not peeking the microphones I'm just loud so Brian won't

Unknownlike that gift that we plan to give him no I guess not that's so sad surprise for you physical touch or quality time so [ __ ] it all

Brian Atlasall right um well I don't know what we're talking about um Love Languages Love Languages I'm when it comes to gifts first off I feel like I don't receive a

Brian Atlaslot of gifts but if I did I'd be very I'm a great receiver terrible Giver it's a great receiver language I'm a fantastic receiver okay great

Brian Atlasreceiver terrible Giver so your bottom I'm just kidding no not in like a gay sort of way it's more just like when it comes to gifts and stuff what do you mean you're a great receiver like like you show like

Laurena lot of appreciation when somebody no not even you just like it so then you're an hour then you're not really a great Giver it depends what context we're talking about but I'm a great receiver you're not just

Unknownsaying you're like what right right nice thank you notes do you know who doesn't reciprocate the oral sex don't

Amy Dangerfielddo that you don't wear stickers do you reciprocate the gifts yes that's so bad oh my God what do you mean why is it bad unless she is the largest labor in the world even even if she has

Emmythe largest lady in the world I still don't do it what if it's the largest dick in the world

Pixienot all of us are like pixie here where we're going both ways yes I'm a giant [ __ ] obviously who sleeps with waiters

Amy Dangerfielddepends on the emotional connection right yeah yeah oh I'm so used to people like you'll go for whatever depending on the emotions I

Pixie[Music] thought pansexual is like I just don't see body so I would argue it's gender it is more like that so though it's hard to explain but the best way to explain is

Pixiethe difference between buying pan is that a buying person is like I like chocolate and vanilla ice cream sometimes I like chocolate more sometimes I like vanilla more once in a while like strawberry whatever and then a pan person's like it's all [ __ ] ice

Brian Atlascream to me you know like I like ice cream um yeah I'm trying to find the meme about oh wait I think I have it um actually if it's about pansexual no

Brian Atlaspsychiosexual it's about sapiosexual pots and pans section okay I can't find it but it's like women will Demi Lovato are you saying Demi Lovato isn't real no she's not she wasn't when she said she

Unknownwas bought and what what did she say she was non-binary she wasn't what she did non-binary they are non-binary but women will say they I'm trying to remember what the meme is but women will

Brian Atlassay they are sapiosexual they're like attracted to really intelligent dudes but then the dudes they end up dating are the type of dudes that like when they're reading when they're reading

Emmythey have to like they read with their finger I think some girls are attracted I think some some women love him both like to have a guy who just like builds

Pixiefurniture all day like that's cool or like reads like this you know like uh I think babe you read it I think a lot of I think there are a lot

Pixieof women who are attracted to like Chris Pratt types like in um what is it Parks and Rec it's smart though no but like in parks and rec his character Andy like I think um I think a lot of women prefer funny than smart like if you can make

Amy Dangerfieldsomebody laugh all day long I think honestly if someone's witty witty is the difference because if somebody's witty then they're clearly intelligent as well because they're able to contextualize situations and make a white out of it and that takes some degree of

Amy Dangerfieldintelligence to be able to do that so I would say it's almost a Winnie men that like they're hot to anyone yeah universally hard we all love a witty man

Brian Atlasyes what's his name in the show I think Andy Andy I think it's also in addition to just being funny I think it's also having a positive affectation I think yeah I think that's that's super hot

Laurenlike the guys that are like golden retrievers like personality wise I love them they're my favorite yeah it's hard to believe an example what do you mean what's a golden retriever man just like

Laurenthey you can't bring them down there's this guy that I went to law school with who was like that and he just we took the bar together and like he was just happy everyone was like about to take

Laurenthis exam he was just like happy and smiling and talking about my ex-boyfriend like and then I was like how'd you do on the exam like I passed he's like oh I

Laurenfailed but it's all good like I went to the far I went to this awesome Festival it's all good my ex you're still literally like raped hold on does that

TTSlive donated 99. no good to see in the chat man the philosophy is the place to be open your minds and get free if you want a good night go watch not so erudite and if you want to fight the good fight go watch my men's Stevie

Brian Atlasnight those are some recommendations but it's whatever and your Endeavor yo thank you Val diab for the uh shout out to you I appreciate it uh we are gonna have Stevie Knight on the show event I'm

Brian Atlastalking to him he'll be on the show and we're going to try to get a couple other good people we got some I think some good guests uh coming up soon uh assuming you know no can't we get you know people cancel things come up but uh thank you very much for your TTS uh

Amy Dangerfieldwhere were we we're talking about your golden retriever types of my point oh my ex he literally used to like write Uber drivers and typical according to how much they talked to him in the Uber

Unknownlike how good oh that's my worst nights or a driver literally such a golden retriever type personality it was my ex-boyfriend yeah all right I got a chat here we have uh you're not a 10 Q for

Brian Atlasner what are you looking for in a relationship what do you think is enough minimum annual income for you to have a family with what buffers do you think are best to keep a relationship together in today's society to come to combat hypergamy I

Brian Atlasthink that's a lot before you answer that's a lot of questions there um we typically like to limit it to just one question per chat um so I can keep it under 10. try to keep it brief if you can if you want to

Amy Dangerfieldtry to hit hit everything yeah so what I'm really looking for in a relationship is a leader and somebody who is a superior to me in a lot of ways because I've been the opposite where I am

Amy Dangerfieldleading either like physically like uh financially or intellectually in the relationships how do you lead physically um by I'm talking about like initiating sex uh yeah that that's one one of the

Amy Dangerfieldthings for sure and I've definitely been in that situation however I would say that for me it's like when you have those traits when you were someone who could lead in those respects then naturally that's gonna obviously show in

Amy Dangerfieldyour income and in your career so it's not necessarily the income that I'm going for but those proclivities and the uh the ability to be able to display those characteristics those leadership characteristics to be able to be

Amy Dangerfieldsomebody who can support a family naturally you're going to want someone who's a multiple six-figure earner so I would say that that because I make that and I want someone who makes more than me right um so that is did you say naturally

Amy Dangerfieldnaturally naturally yeah because naturally somebody who is a leader someone who is a leader somebody who is able to exemplify those characteristics will naturally find a way to transpire that to their career because they're

Amy Dangerfieldgoing to have some type of skill so that they can monetize otherwise what skill set do they really have I mean sure there are some skill sets that you cannot monetize but generally speaking I mean I think if you're looking for

Amy Dangerfieldsomebody who has those character character like traits that we're talking about here they're gonna make money off of it right yes and the leader is never broke a good

Brian Atlasleader do you guys uh you're currently seeing somebody you're currently dating seven people uh you're properly single I'm a hermit

Brian Atlasum but you guys I mean I I know that a lot of girls who do only fans are typically well not typically but uh it sounds to me like you guys are high earners yourselves uh

Emmydo you make more than your boyfriend really about okay okay I guess right now I'm making a little more excuse me on strike right now easily yeah

Brian Atlashe doesn't matter okay do you guys want somebody that makes more than you or how about as much or more than you it would be nice I feel like lately I've

Alessiabeen I've always felt like I wanted someone to make more than me but I've gotten into relationships where it was a bit of like a um weird power dynamic

Alessiaand the men that tended to make more than me they were just a bit more like I'm sure it's just the ones that I came in contact with but just a bit more like arrogant and controlling but then

Alessiathere's the men that make less and they're insecure and it's just like I don't know oh yeah um I don't know I feel like I honestly I just want somebody that's like good to

Emmyme it doesn't really matter like what they make I mean as long as I'm not taking care of them but yeah my my last ex or I guess like during the pandemic he we so we met when we were both

Emmyworking in Tech we were both programmers but during the pandemic we both quit because the company was only fun when there was like a whole campus like it's like his meditation room just infinite alcohol there's all these outings so

Emmywhen the pandemic hit coding was a miserable job so we both quit and he never got another job so the whole time I had to pay for everything like housing costs food and all of that and I did not

Emmyhave a good time where this was during the pandemic yeah how long was the relationship um so I would say like a round two we never made it official we just kind of like started hanging out more yeah so

Emmylike around two years sorry you never made it official and you're paying all of his expenses yeah so we started hanging out more and more because we were like carpool and like so when we were co-workers we just kind of got closer and closer and it was never

Amy Dangerfieldofficial like will you be my girlfriend it was just like we just surely there was a mutual understanding that yeah guys were exclusive right yeah yeah because I wasn't really just never said it out loud but that doesn't yeah but it

Amy Dangerfielddoesn't really indicate that you guys weren't in a relationship yeah it was like situation [ __ ] but I was taking care of him because he was like oh we have nowhere else to go well I feel like as a woman especially if you're taking care of a man stuff you assume he's

Amy Dangerfieldexclusive to you like can any of you ladies imagine being in a situation like that and you find out he's [ __ ] around on the side like oh hell no yeah

Brian Atlasso it was like an exclusive Arrangement kind of and but I've so so what you're saying Amy is that if women really want to get commitment from Men

Amy Dangerfieldthey gotta start start being the Breadwinners is that what you're saying no that's like let's try to that point

Amy Dangerfieldthat Dynamic it automatically you are conflicting with so many um factors in evolutionary psychology and just the way people are in general there's already going to be so much friction in the relationship so actually

Amy DangerfieldI think quite the opposite I was just trying to prod a little bit deeper to really get your perspective on it because I'm not sure I quite fully understand what the dynamic let me just jump in really quick I perhaps I should

Brian Atlasreframe it a little bit so do you think that's a fair trade-off in order to because a lot of women complain that men aren't prepared to commit to them do you think that would be a fair trade-off for women they have to the women have to be

Amy Dangerfieldthe providers they have to be the Breadwinners they have to take care of expenses in exchange they get commitment that's just not like a Bedrock it's an inverse of values right because naturally the man is the provider he is

Amy Dangerfieldthe protector right and then by default you have a woman who submits to him so what I'm saying is if the standard was reversed which I do not necessarily think that it should be I disagree I

Emmydon't think that it should be but if if it were to be reversed and wouldn't the men have to naturally submit otherwise what's the point of the inversion of it yeah I think men don't naturally submit and that's the issue like if he were to

Emmycook clean and like me buy him a gym membership work out whatever I'll be totally fine with it but he didn't cook he didn't clean he didn't really do much and he was like kind of resentful towards like all the Social Media stuff

EmmyI was doing even though I was also going to grad school and it was just like very chaotic because he was insecure I think he naturally wanted to be a leader but he couldn't at the time

Brian Atlasbecause of the pandemic but even if a woman is the breadwinner it's not clear to me if women want men to be submissive even if you out earn the man well I think willing to be it sorry pixie one

TTSsecond I feel like a woman who's willing to be in that type of a relationship he donated 100 ladies his flowers on the first date a red flag and Brian when his real match

Brian Atlascoming on uh we'll see we'll see we got a lot of uh people that want to be on the show but uh Ryan OG thank you very much for the TTS um flowers on the first date so we'll

Brian Atlascome we'll come back to this really quick uh first date uh flowers is it a red flag no thank you yeah no it's cute okay it's not a red flag but I don't recommend you do it what

Emmywhat she can pay for herself you can't afford flowers you can pick some flowers and that's so cute it's acts of service it's a show of gratitude right Now give me some flowers wait when's the

Brian Atlaslast time you took someone on a dinner date me Brian dinner date I don't think dinner dates are for a first date I don't think dinner dates are a good move I think uh you could

Brian Atlasmeet somewhere for a coffee or a tea or go for a walk even because for dinner when's the last time you did that when was the last time you had a date oh it's been a minute I've been way too [ __ ] busy I'm not trying

Brian Atlasto it's not worth my time right now um especially in this day and age no it's not about that I'm just way too focused like I have a big thing going on here and I'm not trying to be distracted right now bye

TTStalking about the girl in the light blue is this an education thing Carly thing my toddler nephew has better grammar do you have a response pit is it why are

Amy Dangerfieldthey oh there's they're talking about my pronunciation of women versus women which is something say woman where they should technically say ing I've noticed this all I'm gonna

Brian Atlassay is that I literally speak two languages so he can suck a dick like he can suck a d yes like you speak Spanish or yeah I speak Spanish

Pixiesuck a dick in Spanish Jake um well as you speak two languages let's hear it

Brian Atlasthat's hot [Laughter] well he might slide into the DMS after that okay yeah guys it's England ESL or

Brian Atlasyou English as a second language I'm ESL too my first language is French do you still speak French a little bit unfortunately I started speaking English when I was very young so I started losing it a little bit I understand it

Pixiefairly well though speaking is a little harder yeah I am I technically learn Spanish first and I learned most of my English through reading so I mispronounce a lot of words the longer that you know me because I pronounce

Brian Atlasthem as you would read them in Spanish oh yeah okay all right well uh Sam yeah I I hear that maybe it could also be like they think they heard someone

Amy Dangerfieldsay woman instead of one like I haven't noticed or heard anything but yeah but I noticed that every time anytime I'm on a red pill called podcast I noticed it literally anytime I'm on a red pill

Amy Dangerfieldpodcast I notice people say woman where they should be saying women but also my grandma nurse women instead of saying women they say the word woman where they should be saying women plural versus singular

Laurenexactly but it's okay I mean it's I figured it's an American thing because I've recognize Supreme Court Justices they're

Emmynot going to recognize grammars yeah no our educational system is trash like I'm from the Central Valley I'm from Bakersfield after I moved from China oh I'm sorry and she's from Fresno

Brian Atlasyeah that's on Bakersfield um okay so ladies it's flowers on the first date a red flag and then we were talking about paying for the first date Etc y'all were shocked when I uh said you know because

Emmywomen aren't gonna look like flowers mentioned latte for the first day yeah you have to get ready for like an hour or something just to meet someone that you're unsure about you're like having a

Laurenlot of risks just to like grab a coffee I think that's like well you're assuming like I'm at least assuming that you're meeting this person beforehand in person and then you're like okay I want to date

Amy Dangerfieldthis person so then you're going out for a date how much risk is there you want to like look nice and I think it depends I mean a lot of people meet online social media dating apps I didn't put in that much effort to look good pretty much every day when they go out of their

Amy Dangerfieldhouse to meet strangers it's I mean maybe they are they got a little extra mile for a date but the majority of women are already kicking their face before they step out of their house that's true on the balance that shit's

Brian Atlastrue and you don't know what kind of [ __ ] we do before or we gotta get ready

Brian Atlasto go I put a little maple syrup in my hair I don't use gel oh okay yeah I just put a little maple syrup at breakfast

Brian Atlasyeah yeah we do a lot okay I bet you do yeah you know what's that movie When Harry Met Sally you gotta you gotta bust a nut before

Unknowndate you know that's where we were all going is that where the when the Cameron Diaz

Brian Atlasyep um well okay let me also just add to the gentlemen you should probably not listen to me on this one you probably should pay for the first date because you're gonna lose

Brian Atlaswomen if you don't but um uh yeah if you want to min max you're dating success or dating results you should pay for the first date because they're more likely to get laid

Brian Atlasmore likely to have the one even just keep talking to you period it feels a little transactional though are you guys saying are you guys saying that women are basically prostitutes is

Amy Dangerfieldthat what you're saying no he has to pay for my day otherwise he ain't getting no [ __ ] what's up yeah every talk about this I've seen YouTube videos of women talking about

Amy Dangerfieldthis and they literally say well I mean it's not because of feminism but I mean if you don't want to split it if you want to split it my [ __ ] is going to dry up and that's your way I think the

Pixieproblem is I don't agree with that okay I think what happens is that men are also like competing against other men and also versus women being with herself but basically if a guy doesn't do that the problem is like there's gonna be

Emmylike 10 other guys who are willing to do that right so if a woman it's like yeah pay for the first date enjoy your symptoms yeah but also it's like if they pay for a first date I'm more likely be like oh yeah drinks on me like if they

Emmydon't pay for it it's like okay I owe you nothing or like if I insist to split the bill if a girl like really really insists and like is like fighting on it like it probably means that she never wants to see you again

Emmyis splitting the bill like an American thing or it is an American thing it's a California and liberal thing in China where you're from no we don't like the man yes how long have you been in the

Amy DangerfieldU.S uh nine years now yeah oh I mean so and you're you haven't not experienced this on the dates that you've been on I feel like oh this is a bit different to back home yeah yeah I've experienced it but then wait but you're 24 you've been here for nine years I came here when I

Kathywas 15. I mean were you really dating all that much prior to 15 it's more so like family values like what you see growing up with family and stuff like that like I've seen people split Fields here but

Kathythen sorry continue didn't mean to interrupt continue but yeah like usually if they're like let's 50 50 I would just pay for it because I I don't know why I feel like it's just like

Kathyum maybe it's a culture thing like you said but you said values did you say family values yeah a little bit of that I think growing up I've seen men provide and pay most of the time and then so

Brian Atlaslike after I came here I was like oh so like how long let me just try to continue on this chain really quick um so are your parents are still together or

Brian Atlasdivorced divorced okay but growing up you had strong Traditional Values correct yes okay well I mean

Brian Atlaswould you you do only fans correct like you do nude content yeah it's not I don't have an issue with it but it's not really doesn't strike me as traditional you know it's not which is why I've had

Kathylike like issues with with your family with family yes dude uh your does your dad and mom do they know that you do content I haven't talked to my dad in Forever

Kathyum I think my mom does I think she knows I think so yes you what do you mean you think we're not we haven't been on speaking terms for a long time we recently reconnected and I kind of told

Kathyher what I was doing but I don't think she understands like the Social Media stuff quite a bit how would you say it in Mandarin do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese Mandarin okay how would you

Brian Atlassay in Mandarin dear Mom I post my titties on only things wait what's your mom's name is she single

Emmydid you know in China for a man to marry a woman they have to provide a house and own a like they have to own a house and a car at minimum and they have to pay for all the songs and also they pay for

Emmythe wedding I learned that in America that the bride's family pays for the wedding which is like that's why you just don't get married just saying just throwing it out there wait so is your mom saying can you hook

Brian Atlasit up maybe is she in California uh she's not I thought I thought high value man was supposed to look for a young woman you know is your mom a babe she's cute she got boyfriends or what was the

Brian Atlassituation oh my God am I really hitting on her mom what do you guys think do you guys ship me and her mom yes she'd looking you think she's

Laurenis she looking for for uh but maybe you should give her some time because my stepdad passed away like fairly recently oh Brian digging

Laurenemotional support all the time Wedding Crashers yeah it was uh they'd be mad horny you're right the

Brian Atlasgrief um but sorry to hear about your uh step father it's okay unless he's sucked up okay [ __ ] I'm always saying stupid [ __ ]

Brian Atlasum uh okay so I don't know how to make it un awkward after hitting your hitting on your mom um yeah do you have any so wait is your mom

Kathyright now uh she's in Florida oh she's in Florida okay did she move here when you were 15 as well no I actually came first um I moved here by myself and then she came when I was like maybe like four

Kathyyears after three years old was she at the time um first of Hawaii and then to Florida yeah why is America still that's America where was sorry where were you born

Laurenwhere were you from originally uh born and raised in Beijing Beijing okay is your dad still in Beijing somebody

Brian Atlasshe needs a rebound tell her I'm available okay okay I will all right wait what we're okay we're talking about paying for First Dates yeah did you guys have any thoughts on that

AlessiaI feel like Lauren has thoughts on that honestly the first date it's ultimately going to be his ideas so I think that he should pay because I didn't ask

Emmyif I release the person out should pay whoever if I ask someone out I'm like let's go to Disneyland yeah let's go yeah if it's like a first day and you're

Emmylike Disneyland yes then I should pay right because it's like it's a lot yeah no that's too much so you should pay something like if some guy asked me to go to Disneyland on the first date have you

Brian Atlasever done that for a first date no I haven't but not yet I have had people ask me to do it I feel like over elaborate for states are very ill-advised because let's say

Brian Atlasit's weird like you want us you want to be in a kind of casual situation where it's you're just not into them or if it's weird you can be like oh hey nice to meet you and you can dip like but for

Brian Atlasdinner that's why I'm kind of hesitant with dinner because it's like oh we gotta wait another 20 minutes for the food but I don't like you you know it's like you can't spend an hour with someone you

Laurendon't like in the pursuit of eventually finding your wife

TTSthe right answer to who pay for the first date is easy no one good call hell yeah comrade do something free um well okay so if if you're just not

Brian Atlasattracted to them but they're otherwise Pleasant I say just continue on with the date you know uh you know eat the meal have a nice conversation

Brian Atlasbut if there's like something like you're you feel your safety is kind of or like they're being weird in some kind of way then

Laurenyeah absolutely dinner like with a weirdo so like we're having dinner we're on a date and then you're like oh wow she's really [ __ ] weird like yikes you're gonna be like ah sorry I

Laurencan't finish this I'm gonna tap out or like if you're on a nature walk even wouldn't do that I'm not going I'm not going into it will you say that you want a free you're saying that you want a

Brian Atlasfree date so what's a free day a Starbucks grab a tea that [ __ ] that's not good

Brian Atlasbecause then you're getting into the crevices of the mountain but like beach there's people around and [ __ ] so beaches okay definitely agree with doing a free thing but whether you're a man or a woman and you feel uncomfortable on a

Brian Atlasdate then yeah you reserve the right at any moment to be to [ __ ] leave you reserve the right sure I'm not saying that you shouldn't be I'm not obliged to stay on a date with somebody now again if they're otherwise Pleasant if well no

Brian Atlasif they're otherwise pleasant but I'm just and this applies to women too if they're otherwise pleasant but you can tell and I'm not really maybe with on the line maybe I'm not attracted I'd say yeah the

Laurenpolite thing would be just stick it out have you ever walked out on a date and if so what's the story what is the story she was 30 minutes late she didn't

Brian Atlasapologize I stuck it out for 10 minutes the I was brewing because um if you're late and she she didn't let me know she was going to be late was this to a

Brian Atlasrestaurant was it a park was it a beach what was it uh it was a uh it was like a lounge we were gonna grab a drink okay yeah um and so she was 30 minutes late she let me know like 10 minutes after I had

Brian Atlasalready arrived hey I'm running late I'll be there in 10 she it ended up being so she was 30 minutes late and uh I would have actually been okay if she gave me a token apology like hey sorry I

Brian Atlaswas late but she just stepped and didn't say anything so I was like all right let's uh so yeah I was just kind of okay so you were taken back and

Laurenthen then did you try to like was that it for you like you can't live on or was there like a further conversation then you're like oh this is it for me and

Brian Atlasthen what was the exit like okay so um I was basically like okay because of this because you were late because you didn't offer up I think the polite courteous thing would be the at

Brian Atlasleast I wasn't expecting her to be like get down on one knee and be like oh my God Brian I'm so sorry please forgive me I just wanted like hey sorry I'm late how's your day courtesy I think that's

Brian Atlaslike the if you're that late you say sorry right so I was like okay let's just see if she's DTF so I was like you want to come back to my place

Pixieand then uh she said no and I was like oh okay well hey I gotta go okay but to be fair nice to meet you I don't think most of them would be DTF within the

Laurenfirst like 10 minutes but I was it was it though like because she didn't apologize you weren't even like gonna figure out what she was gonna say then you immediately went to the DTF and she was no I was waiting for the apology so you

Laurenjust were sitting there waiting for the apology and whatever happened after 10 minutes you were like no I wasn't it wasn't like awkward silence but I was like okay I guess we could [ __ ] you know but you would bug a person who's that

Laureninconsiderate I'm just like shocked at that like it's so funny because you already had your mind made up and then she was like sitting there for 10 minutes trying to have a conversation with you and then you were just like probably awkwardly

Brian Atlasthinking I wonder if she's on a [ __ ] but I don't want to like hook up I don't want to date this person any more than this and then she she lacked the necessary courtesy for me to ever consider her for a long-term

Brian Atlasrelationship that makes so I was like okay we could maybe be [ __ ] buddies but did she seem upset when you left no because I thoroughly tanked the

Brian Atlasinteraction when I basically was like hey do you want to go hook up and what oh I mean she was just like no I'm okay and I was like okay cool well I'm gonna go yeah I think it was

Pixiethoroughly awkward most girls would not be down to [ __ ] within 10 minutes of talking to someone I mean it's okay shot my shot so what happens if she says

Emmyyes yeah what if you're just stuck in a situation relationship with her where it says yes yeah so she's like you know all right I am what do you think this goes that's crazy 10 minutes and she's ready to [ __ ]

Brian Atlasmaybe she says sorry while during the BJ I don't know I'm sorry Brian

Brian AtlasI don't know tell me you're sorry tell me you're sorry maybe she's into that that's such a yeah that'd be great she's apologizing during

TTSthe sex I'm so sorry I donated 100 Maddie does it too light blue I also speak Spanish nobody cares about your Gringo accent as long as it is

TTSunderstood woman equals just one female though muhair equals mujeres you know that well wait what I don't speak Spanish

Pixieoh okay wait do you smoke weed no I always look high though yeah I was about to say you like have resting yes it's happened to me more than once

Pixiewhere a random person comes up to me and is like oh like are you smoking anything do you have anything and I'm like no I don't smoke weed I'm ashamed to anyone who smokes weed honestly lettuce

Brian Atlasdo you guys have a rebuttal to these people I don't know if any of you all we have to say is just like [ __ ] me she's taking it as a compliment she's

Unknownlike yes [ __ ] me because I smoke so okay shame like ironic dude we came here high

Alessiaas [ __ ] yeah you guys smelled like that's awesome that you can like mask it like that oh it's not be present yeah yeah y'all like scene you should see her when

Laurenshe's sober no I haven't what do you mean have you been sober on a podcast now I'm always at least one within the last couple of years yeah the last

Amy Dangerfieldcouple years yeah would you be somewhere for like three to five hours straight just sitting around the table talking I'm sorry people aren't that interesting right so it's not for me it's to make y'all more

Amy Dangerfieldinteresting to be honest I love the fact that yeah come on that's why I smoke too you guys specifically I'm saying like people

Pixie[ __ ] I drink to make you look pretty so how about that so I just love the fact that you know we came in the car these two [ __ ] would be smoking be smoking

Pixiebehind me and then I'm the one who's asked if I'm high pixie's like rolling down the window like

Brian Atlasover here okay all right um wait so uh Amy you have a dark past is that correct I have a dog paw yeah there's like some post on your Instagram

Brian Atlasthat's like yeah I used to be wild yeah and now I just smoke weed yeah so are we talking when like

Amy Dangerfieldare we talking with men we talking with drinking for me I'm a very um I don't have a very high sex drive so for me the majority of the time this

Amy Dangerfieldwhen I am in a committed relationship like I want to please my partner like that's my goal right but generally speaking unless I feel that level of like commitment and attachment to somebody I'm not about that life it's

Amy Dangerfieldbeen very very rare if you wouldn't fall between for that to occur wait for what to occur sex yeah it's been rare and far between yeah like for me to meet somebody who I'm not in a

Amy Dangerfieldrelationship with who I actually end up sleeping with I mean there's just a lot of reasons have you ever had a one-night stand um one one my whole life whole life yeah how about another one

Amy Dangerfieldwasn't there another one there's multiple ones why are you looking at me I don't know what you're talking about but uh I mean sort of my relationship

Amy Dangerfieldbreakup that was something that I did that I regret very much what did you do I hooked up with somebody after my breakup after my breakup like within the last several months I hooked up with somebody

Amy DangerfieldI know it was very Haram and like I literally I literally be a podcaster I literally no podcast I mean you know what who gives a [ __ ] but I literally just cried the whole next day there was

Amy Dangerfielda lot of regret because that that's not me and that's not the standard that I hold myself to and that is not necessarily

Brian AtlasI'm sorry after you asked darkness my old friend go on continue I have nothing to say oh my gosh okay

Amy Dangerfieldum [Laughter] it doesn't no it doesn't necessarily come from that probably a little bit of a party

Laurenanimal yes I like to party yes okay all right let me get a couple chats in here all the way actually no we got all of them the sound board is fighting words should be written into the constitution based

Laurenum I don't know where the [ __ ] we were uh we were talking about paying for the first date lost bringing roses to the first date which I'm all for yes bring

Laurenthe first date look it's cute no not my mother's flowers off her front yard she would be pissed like if you like the plucked flowers from our garden and then handed

Laurenit to me yeah you'd get you'd get some Max you want me to ask a question right now

Amy Dangerfieldit's yeah okay oh [ __ ] I mean it was pretty rough did you guys don't feel like that was a little rough God damn her here considers themselves to

Amy Dangerfieldhave somewhat of a post like a dog yeah like some text of that when somebody says that to him like what do you mean

Laurenyeah it's also a very ominous question as I'm sure somebody said that to me I'd be going through like yeah my entire life history like what horrible thing it's like what do you mean in the past

Amy Dangerfieldare you talking about current like no but yeah my past is pretty checkered yeah not with regards to like dating but I mean obviously your past influences

Alessiathe way that you approach dating anyone here have a felony no but I have misdemeanor yeah I've been arrested oh what you've been arrested

Alessiafor I don't think I should say right this but I have anything to do with boy drama kind of yeah I was 19. it happened a couple times I was young but that's kind of

Alessialike the worst time if you're gonna be Rowdy do it when you're charged as a juvenile like 19. yeah like that's not like you know 30 plus I think that's crazy but I mean things happen so yeah

Emmyno she has had like a really interesting past that has led her like to like only fans today but only fans is so much better than your paws yeah do you have it so would you say that your pause

Alessiacontributed to your decision to be able to do early fans yeah yeah it drove me to it what that was like in what way I was just doing different types of sex work and it was just I was doing

Alessiadifferent types of sex work like everything everything you could possibly think of and it was the Bunny Ranch

Laurenbut wait how how did you get your start and when did you start how old were you I was 19. you're in 19 how uh what was your life leading up to that to like what was your high school experience

Alessialike High School honestly like my freshman year um I don't know I hated school so much so um it was really like family life like childhood growing up everything was kind

Alessiaof just like [ __ ] are you close with your dad or your mom I talked to them but they're just like people

Emmyyeah yeah damn that shit's sad hey that sucks I mean how's everyone else's relationship it's crazy that anybody can have a child I think it's

Brian Atlaswild that any like drug addict any person who hates children can just have a child is that something that commonly happens like children haters are just like

Pixieactually let me just pump out well I think what happens is like literally we have bad sex ed we have like a lack of contraception we have like literally people trying to ban contraception we have like people who don't allow for

Pixieabortions so what happens people get born into like shitty family situations and it's horrible should we are we gonna have an abortion today right now I mean we can't I mean

Pixiethat's interesting right yeah are you guys pro-life yeah pro-choice okay I just I honestly strongly believe that most Republicans came to claim to be like pro-life and everything but then

Brian Atlasthey're against contraception so I don't think they're actually pro-life or anti-abortion just it's not clear to me that conservatives or Republicans are necessarily anti-con what kind of what

Pixiekind of contraception oh like all types of contraception IUD emergency birth control just long-acting can be yeah Plan B there's you literally have let's

Pixiesee um Ohio Bill 704 Virginia HB 1395 I believe um Louisiana as well all in 2022 tried to pass um laws Banning long long-term

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