She Is "Single" But STILL Hooks Up With Her TOXIC Ex?! | Dating Talk #96

Date: 2023-09-04

Duration: 4h 40m

Guests

Brian Atlas

KKiki (co-host DT126)>

EElizabeth (DT96)>

MMorgan (DT143)>

MMadison (SBCC)>

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_03Elizabeth(guest)

SPEAKER_04Amber(guest)

SPEAKER_05Ali Boba(guest)

SPEAKER_06Madison(guest)

SPEAKER_07Morgan(guest)

SPEAKER_08Dr Sydney Watson(host)

SPEAKER_09Brian Atlas(host)

Key Moments

RelationshipElizabeth reveals she considers herself in a committed relationship with a German TikToker (~12M followers) she has never met in person or spoken to by phone after 2 months of communicating only via Instagram stories.

“I call it that because trust... we're both so busy”

ControversyAmber reveals her toxic ex-boyfriend (33yo) drove her to the show and she has been hanging out with him twice a week despite claiming to be 'single' for 2 months.

“he drove me here... twice a week”

Key MomentAli reveals her ex-boyfriend from her 3-year relationship (age 18-21) turned out to be gay/bisexual.

“he actually ended up being gay”

QuoteBrian asks Amber what she did wrong in the relationship; she says she was too clingy and gave the 33yo ex rent-free housing for 3 months at age 21 while he saved for a car.

“I told him to live with me for three months rent free”

OtherViewer poll: 66% voted that Amber will get back together with her toxic ex (804 total votes).

“yes 66... 34 no”

Key MomentAli describes discovering male sex toys (butt plug, male lingerie) in ex's drawer and then hacking his Snapchat to find photos of other men, confirming his homosexuality.

“I saw a bunch of sex toys... a butt plug in there... male lingerie”

Key MomentMadison shares that her father appeared on a prior Whatever podcast episode and they are no longer on speaking terms after the episode aired.

“after the show went out we didn't really appreciate kind of the things that each of us shared so we're not really on talking terms anymore”

QuoteAli states her traditional values: once she becomes a wife, her husband is her leader, she will wake at 4am to make him breakfast, handle all household/childcare duties.

“as soon as I become a wife I am my husband is my leader... if he's getting up in the morning to go to work I'm getting up at 4am to make sure he has a hot breakfast”

Topics Discussed

Guest introductions and relationship statuses

Brian introduces guests. Ali: single by choice, LA streamer. Elizabeth: single 24 years, messaging online-only German TikToker 'boyfriend'. Amber: 'single' 2 months, still seeing toxic ex. Morgan: purposefully single, focusing on God. Madison: in 1-year relationship with Frankie.

Therapy, mental health, religion vs. therapy

Amber goes to therapy; finds it helpful for addressing toxic relationship patterns linked to father's alcoholism. Morgan is anti-therapy; prefers biblical counsel. Group debates whether therapy prescribes too many medications and what generational mental health decline looks like.

Elizabeth's online-only 'relationship' with German TikToker

Elizabeth considers herself in a relationship with a ~12M-follower German TikToker she has never met, spoken to by phone, or FaceTimed. Communicated only via Instagram stories for 2 months. Brian is skeptical the TikToker is loyal; Elizabeth won't accept the suggestion.

Amber's toxic on-and-off relationship

Amber (22) has been 'single' 2 months but hangs out with her 33yo toxic ex twice a week. Ex moved in rent-free, broke her phone, threw makeup out window, used verbal abuse. Ex drove her to the show. Brian and panel discuss trauma bonding, addiction metaphor, and why she won't cut contact. Poll: 66% of chat thinks she gets back with him.

Ali's 3-year relationship with gay/bisexual ex

Ali dated a man age 18-21 who turned out to be gay/bisexual. Discovered male sex toys (butt plug, male lingerie). Confirmed by hacking his Snapchat while he was at work — found photos of other men. He came out after they broke up. She was blindsided but grateful for the lesson.

Penis size and sexual compatibility

Amber raises question of penis size mattering in marriage if saving yourself. Morgan argues intimacy can be learned together. Brian says body count and experience can be parallel — both can require learning. Group mostly agrees size is secondary to emotional connection.

Age gaps in dating

Discussion on acceptable age gaps. Madison: up to 5 years older. Morgan: up to 4 years older (28 max). Elizabeth: prefers within 5 years. Ali: prefers slightly older once emotionally ready to settle. Brian jokes about passport bros and dating younger women.

Hookup culture, waiting to have sex, body count

Morgan argues women should hold out as long as possible; saving yourself for marriage is ideal. Madison: hooked up with Frankie the first time they hung out alone. Ali: requires mutual exclusivity before sex; never had a one-night stand; body count 6. Elizabeth: virgin. Amber: waited 4th-5th date. Brian: prefers continuity over one-night stands but ok with ~3rd date.

Traditional values and marriage

Ali describes traditional values: husband as head of household, wife manages home/children, wakes at 4am to make breakfast. Morgan agrees: dating intentionally for marriage, engaged in 1-1.5 years. Brian jokes about becoming a monk (celibate). Discussion on sex within marriage and sexual compatibility.

Self-ratings round

Ali: 10/10 ('Latina Queen'). Elizabeth: 7/10. Brian: 8/10. Dr Sydney Watson: 10/10. Amber and Morgan declined to give number on air.

Immigration debate

Brief end-of-show discussion on illegal immigration. Morgan (part Filipino) says come legally. Ali shares grandmother's story — forced into a brothel at 8 years old, immigrated to escape. Brian jokes about dating illegal immigrants for citizenship. Tabled for a future episode.

Male friends and female friend groups

Brian argues most male 'friends' of women want to sleep with them. Amber has male friend Dylan who was watching the show. Morgan says boundaries are key in mixed friendships. Elizabeth: grew up with older brothers, easier to friend-zone men.

Body count reveal

Ali: 6. Elizabeth: 0 (virgin). Amber: 3. Morgan: declined to share. Madison: implied low. Sydney Watson (co-host) drew laughs with a high implied count. Brian: did not share.

Transcript

Page 1 of 5

Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we are coming to you live from Santa Barbara California every

Brian AtlasSunday and Tuesday now at 5 p.m Pacific I am your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host Sydney Watson name change again it was Ashley Sinclair used to be

Brian AtlasKiki now it's Dr Sydney Watson Dr Sydney Watson she's a bit shy guys a few quick announcements before the show begins my sincere apologies that we are about 30 minutes

Brian Atlaslate here uh we had four no-shows not even flakes just didn't let us know they weren't coming I confirmed with them the night before um so sorry about that four no-shows

Brian Atlassuper rude like if they could have told us they couldn't they wouldn't have been able to make it but it is what it is and uh we tried we tried to go to the streets

Brian Atlasuh Nikki and Maddie went down to this no Nikki and Maddie did I Nikki oh sorry Nick do you like that Nickname Nick you want to be Nikki

Brian AtlasNikki okay Nick and Maddie excuse me went down to the Mean Streets of Santa Barbara it's dangerous you see us in this high-rise it's to protect us

Brian Atlasfrom the dangers on the street uh they tried to gather they approached probably 10 15 different groups of people try to get them on the podcast unfortunately just the way we've

Brian Atlasdone it a couple times before and we've had actually semi-decent luck but uh I'm very Unfortunately they weren't able to procure any other guests so it's it's going to be a smaller more intimate

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Brian Atlasare considering getting a labia Place D shoot me a DM and I'll talk you out of it if you can't catch the full shows we have three Clips channels links in the description go subscribe without further Ado we're gonna have the guests

Ali Bobaintroduce himself so please tell us your name age and occupation go ahead hi I'm Ali Boba I am 26 years old and I'm from Los Angeles California and you got you

Ali Bobagot to speak into the mic oh I'm sorry um sorry I'm Ali Boba I'm 26 years old and I'm from Los Angeles California and I am currently a streamer I stream games and just chilling

Brian Atlasokay on Twitch kick YouTube I'm on Kik right now okay okay um I am the best when I was your last time

Elizabeth23 from Los Angeles California last time but oh wait I'm 24. what my birthday was last week my birthday was

Brian Atlaslast year yes it's all downhill after 24. what yeah why you say that you can confirm right it's all downhill yeah yeah okay 24 is there just your back

Brian Atlasstarts to hurt back hurts knees hurt ovaries hurt yeah I'm not an old lady what do you mean I'm not sure um yes my ovaries and gonads are hurting is

Brian Atlasthat what they're called um go ahead oh yeah um I'm a model actress yep I was here last time don't you guys remember well not last time like two

Brian Atlasmonths ago or something yeah a while ago you were on before yeah yeah uh well don't undersell yourself you also what I was around a business a family business what about the ice

Elizabethskating don't forget the ice skating yeah Olympics was there Olympics double gold medalists what yeah Olympic uh it's like throughout the U.S

Brian Atlasthe oftg thank you for the 50 gift of memberships that triggers uh hold on boom fireworks thank you sdg appreciate

Elizabethit uh so you were internationally um I represent the USA okay and I did youth Olympics I didn't do actual

Brian AtlasOlympics Olympics got it very cool um and you said you if I recall from last show you own Supermarket businesses in various South

ElizabethEast Asian countries is that about right yes family business yes is it money laundering what no not what okay okay what are you trying to make me

Brian Atlassay no I don't know I'm just asking I'm just asking because a lot of people in the chat were like what's going on here so that's I read everything I'm like if they don't trust me that's your problem

Elizabethlike I know myself you know okay all right I stand for who I am um I also was maximum magazine cover winner cover model

Amberrock and roll what about you hi my name is Amber I'm 22 years old I'm a content creator from Los Angeles California what kind of content do you make I do YouTube and I do brand I do a lot of things like

Brian AtlasI'm just I do a lot of things so on YouTube I do uh bikini hauls I do like collection I love fashion because like if if you just say you do YouTube you could oh ostensibly do

Brian Atlaslike my play Minecraft video like video games you know yeah oh no I do bikini hauls I do like fashion hauls that's I love that uh Morgan hold on let's let's allow Dr

Brian AtlasSydney Watson to uh weigh in here okay uh never mind all right what do you mean

Dr Sydney Watsonthere's always something weird I'll try I'm trying to figure out why that might be um uh Morgan wants you to introduce

Morganyourself hey I'm Morgan I'm 24. also just turned 24 last week so maybe we're bday Twins and as my best friend now calls me old so that's funny but I um am a turning

Madisonpoint USA contributor and I do social media and content full-time Social Media stuff sorry Age Again 24 24 okay Madison good

Madisonmy name is Madison I am 18 years old I do the whatever podcasts I am a host at a bar as well as a student at Santa

Brian AtlasBarbara City College studying accounting okay welcome sorry guys we're having an initial an issue with our stream yard I don't know why it's not yeah working no that's not the issue

Brian Atlasum I'm trying to sorry guys hold on one sec while I'm trying to troubleshoot this right now Madison why don't you tell us about the

Madisonuh your situation with your dad from last show well while I'm trying to figure this out yeah so basically after the show went out we kind of took a moment to kind of re-watch it and

Madisoneverything we didn't really appreciate kind of the things that each of us shared so we're not really on talking terms anymore oh wow oh yeah

Amberum yikes but again I was on the show huh um what if you click on live nope the next one no don't do that okay uh sorry guys but yeah it's

Madisongood you all messed it up for me I'll ruin my relationship with my father wow how long ago

Brian Atlaswe had my dad on the show he was on the show oh my God oh my God yeah thank you ftg for that um that's fireworks again also a fit check so I'm gonna go behind the scenes

Brian Atlasreally quick try to get that fixed and uh so Madison if you want to lead

SPEAKER_02is this a new thing I didn't do this last time

Ali Bobaif you'd like to explain your outfit please do so like in the mic like this or honestly I think the shoes make the fit so show us the shoes gotta show the shoes got shoes

Brian AtlasI like that I'm just not cozy Vibes today well my my fit your Vlog now do you see my fit yeah okay

Elizabethum My Fit was inspired by you guys you guys wanted this top I saw some people mentioned it is it a dress it's a dress

Amberall right fixed oh if if you my fit is just from White Fox and Abercrombie jeans

Amberum and then they said comfy shoes so hokas I love them they're like the best [Laughter] bro your titties are about to pop out yeah no they won't I promise okay okay

Brian Atlasthat was almost like a we're gonna get to us yeah okay all right guys so I got streamlabs working uh let me just

Brian Atlasyou know thank you Eric for becoming a member thank you oh I hot I lost one um David Carter thank you for becoming a member sorry to unstarred one of the memberships it was like from New

Brian AtlasYork somebody I apologize mark C Ferg thank you for being a member for three months keep up amazing work bro I love the show hey thank you man appreciate it uh did we pull this one up I think we did uh thank you Keenan uh all right okay so

Brian Atlaswe're gonna go around the table once more so what is your current relationship status so are you single are you talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits relationship married polycule

Ali Bobasex cult how if you're single how long have you been single and also what's your longest relationship going all right um I'm currently single and it's by choice um a lot of reasons for that but mainly

Ali Bobajust because I'm focusing on myself and like career stuff right now um also to the dating pools like terrible um I live in L.A right yeah born and raised too so it's rough yeah

Ali Bobaand I per I've been in a relationship before but I was actually younger it was from 18 to 21. he actually ended up cheating on me so good times great times um and that was actually like my last

Ali Bobalike real serious relationship so did you cheat on him too I didn't I shut up

Ali BobaI did and you know what like everything that happened it was like whatever you know but I feel like sometimes breakups just like you know they kind of make you so everything happens for a reason yeah and if he was just not meant to be how it goes

Brian Atlaseverything happens for a reason that's what I say yeah so if you break on break up on you okay so everything happens for a reason right yes have you heard of the braining and eating amoeba called

Brian Atlasnagleria The Lowry no I have this if this is why you gotta be very careful in like hot springs or still water so not it's not a risk in ocean water but if you're ever in like a lake you don't

Brian Atlaswant to dunk your head under the water because especially in the hot spring because what they do is this brain eating amoeba travels up your nose dating podcast by the way travels up

Brian Atlasyour nose and it's like the death rate is 99 what and you're dead within like five days yeah so

Madisonbut you could does everything happen for a reason amoeba song and then donated your organs and saved someone's life I mean yes I don't know about but what were we talking about like everything

Amberelse for a reason how is that like a category of that though well getting I got the brain eating amoeba everything I think more of an example would be like a death of like your mom or something like that maybe that would be a better

Brian Atlasthat's still pretty bad that's true pretty bad you would have to learn how to like become stronger my entire family got wiped out in the meteor strike everything happens for a reason

Brian Atlasum wait it's okay so you were in this relationship for three years from like 18 to 21. okay then you cheated on you and then you swore off men is that correct yeah okay and you've just been you know it's funny

Madisonthough I didn't really tell you the full story oh he actually ended up being gay what um what I swear you turned him I think I turned him I think I did wait why did

Ali Bobayou so in the three years you were dating him Eden so are there hints well we were like really traditional old school right so like we I'm gonna be honest we

Ali Bobaweren't intimate until I turned 18. so like it was like you know and like wait hold it hold on so you were dating him before you read I was 17 when he started

Ali Bobacourting me he was also 25 years old oh let's yeah when you were 17 yes that's a yes

Ali Bobaand I was 17. wait did he cheat on you with a guy or with a girl with a cool I don't know but it was like a guy a girl

Brian Atlasa guy turning into a girl yes wait wow he cheat on a trans no hold on not only wait oh he cheated with on me oh he's

Brian Atlasnot trans he's not but not but wait can you just scoot the mic that way just a time yes um Okay so

Ali Bobacheated on you with a transgender woman yes or transgender man so a man that's actually turning into a woman so that's a trans

Ali Bobawoman so used to be a man yes became so pretty much she had the boobs but still had the thingy down there huh he had to pee pee still so is that make you gay or

Brian Atlasthat's gay right I think so I yeah I think so yeah he was getting banged 100 so yeah oh no I I think you don't think

Brian Atlaswhat I was about to say is I think if you're a dude and you're sucking dick that's kind of gay I'm just gonna say I'm saying it I think that's like I think so how is that not wouldn't that be gay yeah yeah is

Morganthat not I just filmed my video on this last night I mean I asked like 200 college kids like isn't gay to date a trans man like if a woman's dating a trans man okay it's funny it's funny

Ali Bobasome people don't think it's gay which I'm scared yeah I think so interesting I dated some like I had situation chips we'll call them okay yeah multiple

Ali Bobasituations one year long situationship one year long and not a relationship honest women issues he had commitment issues and here's the thing I learned

Elizabethwhen a guy says he's not ready for a relationship he's probably not ready for one just with you that's this is why guys say that was my that's why I say

Elizabethlike if you're gonna introduce me into a situationship best believe I don't want you you know what I mean I'm like that's a huge turn off I'm sorry yeah if it's a situationship I rather rather just be single you know

Brian Atlaswhat I mean I want a guy who actually knows what he wants and not a situationship he's just gonna play so during this situationship were you seeing other guys who are you loyal to

Ali Bobahim I was 100 loyal was he seeing uh other girls I honestly think so because when I ended things he popped out with a relationship three weeks later

Ali Bobawait he what he popped out with a new relationship three weeks later but did he call it a relationship new situation he posted her flute flies around and after he told me I lived far away when I

Ali Bobawas he lived in East L.A I lived in the valley like sure that's long distance in L.A terms how much of a drive like an hour whoa

Brian Atlasthat's Justified that's legit that is not long distance that's a long distance that's a medium distance long distance I've done multiple times

Brian Atlasyeah no that's not a long distance if I have to drive more than 20 minutes that's called long distance no well no I wouldn't even drive she has to just come to me you know what you're

Brian Atlasyou're yeah if you're in a relationship driving an hour is nothing that's nothing that's nothing okay like here's the thing when it comes to like love and relationships a lot of

Brian Atlaspeople think like it's about you know shared values loyalty no it is let me finish my point it's about

Brian Atlasconvenience if you're living close if you're close if you live five minutes from the person that's not what you're doing it's far easier it makes it easier okay short but it doesn't mean long distance doesn't

Morganwork out you can like know somebody multi-states away and I think it is honestly dependent on the man it's like you said you're in a situationship and then he came into a relationship later if a guy actually wants to date you he will date you if he doesn't want to date

Brian Atlasyou he'll say well I'm not ready for a relationship and that's your sign to go yes if they're not ready just leave I think convenience is underrated when it comes to relationship like think about it right it's like about convenience

Brian Atlasthough long term but long-distance relationships are

Elizabethbut if you're passionate about each other it shouldn't like the distance shouldn't matter is what I believe that's true it should not matter that's the thing for me it's like long distance like not a thing because for it just

Amberdepends on the person because I'm very like touchy like I want when I feel like I'm having a mental breakdown like I want somebody to be there for me you know I don't want you to call me out you can't even like you know come and hug me or something like that what I think it just comes down to prioritizing each

Amberother like if he can prioritize you and you prioritize him like it does work but in Long Distance like it's hard you know like yeah it's just different so how frequently are you having mental

Elizabethbreakdowns not frequently I mean it just she just wants someone to comfort her yeah because I mean it depends I'm very physically are you a once a weak mental breakdown type of trick it depends I

Brian Atlasmean I'm in my 20s come on like it's this is a lot so what you're having I'm 22. so like so is it better now or Worse your mental breakdown frequency I think it's better because I I've had things

Amberthat you know I go to the gym like I have a therapist that helps me out oh I see um that helped me a lot who who hears honestly therapy really show of hands anybody in therapy I'm anti-therapy I'm

Elizabethstrong I'm strong today I just like to like I'm very strong my brain is like tough my therapy's the joke okay no honestly I feel like we kind of underestimate people having

SPEAKER_00mental illnesses oh hold on just a second Brandon Mills donated 99 in donating specifically to say hi to Madison hi Madison and also hi Brian yo what's up Brandon thank you man

Brian Atlasappreciate it you don't know me but I'm friends with Alps oh and hi Nick hi everyone Nick say hi to uh yo thank you Brandon good to see you in the chat man welcome welcome

Elizabethum so you were saying well I just feel like like we're just underestimating a lot of people they might look like they're fine because you can't tell hold on just a second seven days

SPEAKER_00my sprinkler goes like this

SPEAKER_00student comes back like better to live in a desert than with a quarrels wife 777 decillion 700

SPEAKER_00777 octillion 770 and septillions 777 sextillion

SPEAKER_00777 quintillion 777 quadrillion 777 trillion 777 okay thank you

Brian Atlas777 thank you man I appreciate it thank you seven deadly Sims with your um poetic TTS appreciate it Elizabeth you were saying are we gonna

Elizabethgo are we going to get like interrupted again probably not okay um I'm just saying I just feel like we just kind of underestimate people they look like they're really they look perfectly fine but in inside they're

Morganstruggling like mentally I think now that we prioritize mental health more like yeah but the thing is so I said I'm anti-therapy which you know some it works for some people but also largely a lot of therapists are prescribing women

Morganantidepressants anti-anxiety medications and then I mean now more than ever women are hooked on Pharma to in self-medicating those types of things or you have ADHD you're now on antidepressants you're on anti-anxiety

Morganmedication you're on Adderall you're on vyvance whatever in your entire hormonal your body just gets completely jacked up and I feel like you know as much as we talk about mental health and it's we should talk about it because it's really

Amberimportant but I also think that therapists kind of use it as a way just to make money well I just I my therapist is different from my psychiatrist psychiatrist prescribes me with drugs therapy just talk to somebody and like have somebody like there to tell you you

Amberknow what I see a cycle that you're doing or like hey like you're kind of dating somebody like your dad's traits um you know I really love talking to someone like that that actually has experience or you know years of

Amberexperience that has seen you know people that have had the same stuff as me you know just talking to somebody like kind of helps me a lot to just like oh wow I didn't you know realize the stuff about myself wait you said you would talk to

Brian Atlasyour therapist about guys guys are dating and she is your therapist a male or female female and she'd say something about your dad's traits

Amberfor example like well my that's an alcoholic no I don't want to date somebody like that I want to date somebody that do you need a therapist to tell you that though no not just in general like it seems

Elizabethlike I think I think she just wants someone to guide her yeah right I think somebody that like someone you need a strong masculine boyfriend you need a strong guy I know he's a strong guy guys

ElizabethI do actually I actually think it's a red flag to be dating a girl who's in therapy or maybe she just needs to heal heal herself yeah that's what I'm doing I think I'm

Amberhealing myself from like things that I've had in my childhood like you know like I really like talking about and telling me you know she's kind of helping me she has like you know 10 years of experience so she can tell me like these are ways that you could actually cope with that or try this you

Amberknow try go to the gym and stuff like that I want somebody that has experience you know as well as obviously I'm looking for a good guy you know but that comes with like fixing myself from the

Brian Atlasinside first um and bettering myself wait question is she a feminist you think me no no well I guess you but like is your therapist a feminist

Amberum you know what I don't think so okay because um she she just I mean actually I've only gone once with her because I changed my therapist because the other one you've changed therapists yeah because I didn't

Amberlike the other one like she wasn't really like telling me like hey I want somebody like be straight up with me you know and be like hey this is what you're doing you know like um you're doing this and that yeah straightforward so you want my accountability I do want to kind of

Ambervideo but I want something that I could tell like you know I have trust issues so like I want someone that like it not you know someone professional that won't say my secrets that I could actually talk to you know um it's very different talking to like

Amberyou know a friend or something like that like a boyfriend because you never know where you're gonna break up with them and then they're just gonna leave with all your you know stuff um you never know what happens and when a therapist you can never like break up with them and they'll tell them your

Ambersecrets and stuff like that you know that kind of like hopefully has to go yeah hopefully I mean by law yeah I mean yeah therapy is great if you just like want to vent to somebody a therapist though will tell you kind of

Morganwhat you want to hear and like yeah sure can work through things but I mean our generation gen mental health-wise is down the toilet oh yeah ever since 2019 but then the thing is I think more than ever our society lacks God I'm a

MorganBeliever and I'm a Christian and I think a lot of people need to come back to Christ honestly because I mean in the church you have accountability you can talk to your pastoral team you can have almost like counseling through the

Morganchurch to where you're rooted in biblical truth so I mean I don't go to therapy but I have biblical mentors to where then you know they can help yeah push you along the way and then it's rooted in scripture and rooted in truth

Morganinstead of just you know hey because I used to go to therapy when I was younger when I was like seventh grade eighth grade high school and it's like you know hey Journal This and like tell me how you feel but I think a lot of things like when you pray about it when you

Morgantalk to God about it and you read your Bible you finally you have that peacefulness and knowing that your anxieties and your troubles like God's got it and you know you just have to

Brian Atlaslike talk to them about it and work through those things you know well I agree you kind of talk to your therapist about some like relationship type stuff what were

Amberwhat was the guidance that she gave you on relation like well particular guy or yeah because basically like I'm an on and off relationship for two years um but it's like a very like emotional abusive relationship I don't know um

Brian Atlastell us uh before we get into that story wait Elizabeth did you tell us oh yeah no no Elizabeth you tell us your relationship situation you tell us here is them don't get into it go ahead Elizabeth oh are we going to cut her off we're finished no no go ahead fine okay

Elizabethgo ahead um I've been single for 24 years um but I'm talking to someone and hopefully you were single from

Brian Atlaslike at least the first 14 15 you know like yeah and I never had a boy that way I've been dating it like one year old you know so you've been

Elizabethsingle for 24 years like were you were you really gonna be dating at like three years old like no but then I wasn't really speaking I wasn't seeking anybody like whoever gave me attention I didn't really care like that okay for sure

Brian Atlasplayground yeah because like I was focusing on my career you know what I mean right so yeah so I'm talking to someone like two years old though who's dating it like three years old you

Brian Atlascan't even talk right can you talk like three years old like a kindergarten Crush I'm just roasting you I'm roasting you go ahead okay so so

Elizabethum yeah so I'm talking to someone I have someone yeah okay but you're single no oh no oh you're in a relationship okay got it uh how long and I want to I Really

Brian Atlasrespect sure how long have you been is it because last time you were on I think you were single um actually I could be wrong but I think he found me

Brian Atlasfrom the last podcast have you met in person I haven't met him in person yet wait you're oh my God I haven't met doing person yet

Elizabeth[Music]

Brian Atlasmy boxes because I have bystanders I think when I say high standards listen why are you getting she hasn't talked to the guy on the phone even and she's in a relationship with the dude guys no it's

Elizabethbecause I I respect you see what I mean like I'm not the type to go looking I don't want to look but you said you're in a relate you're in a relationship with him yes I call it I call it that because

Elizabethtrust what you haven't talked to him you haven't even talked messaged you message you've been messaging him I said since the last why are you giving me

Elizabeththat face first off red flag go ahead how long have you been messaging him um uh since I said since the last podcast he's a viewer of mine

Morganhe is a wait what's is it marquavius no Mark marcovius the guy who's like dropping Secret s has he sent you like photos of himself

Elizabethlike you know what he looks like is it through Instagram it was pretty big on Tick Tock oh okay so you know I know him I know exactly okay so you know he's real yes and also I found out that we have like a mutual

Elizabethfriend so it's kind of oh but how long have you gone two months though without like a phone call or a FaceTime but still like you know trusting him with that uh like through I guess we communicate through stories you know what I mean like that way her story

Ali Bobais he foreign

Elizabethhe's really focusing on his career as well which is respect because I want to focus on mine you see what I mean it's either be single and focused or like because I that's that's all I really want to focus on sounds like you're in a

Madisonsituationship but you just said you're not down for a situation too but I don't call this a situationship what do you call what do you call it you're in a Talking Stick what do you call it you had you're in a relationship I call my guy you know what I mean my boyfriend is

Elizabethyour boyfriend yeah wait so he asked you out your your boyfriend who you've never even spoken to you never met in person the thing is this it's because like I'm not I'm not the one to look around like I don't really care

Brian Atlaswhat does looking around you having a phone call with your boyfriend

Elizabethlike I'm not like ready to dig it because I'm still focusing on my career you see what I mean you said your boyfriend but you're not ready to date how to explain this this is tough like okay I think I sort of

Brian Atlasunderstood is this so you're you don't have time you don't have time to call him or actually meet him go on a

Elizabethdate with him but you are you know I sort of see you're in a you see a boyfriend girlfriend talking stage yeah we're both so busy because we're

Elizabethboth working on each like ourselves you see what I mean that you're in like a relationship boy is he a tick tock boy what I thought he was but apparently he's not

Brian Atlaswhere's he is he in the states is he in the US no he's not in the states where where's he at shoot should I expose him yeah well if you say a country it's not gonna continent Germany

Morgando you feel like you're like wasting time ever like do you actually see it being a relationship eventually because we're talking about distance like does that where's the asteroid no I don't think it's wasting time because take care of you like a man

Brian Atlasshould like in a relationship would like I see all the qualities yeah yeah okay all right yeah it's rare when you see someone with good qualities it's super rare nowadays that's all I'm saying did you see that on his when he was doing his Tick Tock dances is that no no no no

Brian Atlasno no no no what's he do on Tick Tock you can be vague content does he do Tick-Tock dances is he one of those

Brian AtlasI am confirming that I am real me and Elizabeth are talking I mean everyone there's no evidence that that's actually here send something send a chat where

Brian AtlasElizabeth would be able to confirm like if you guys have some inside joke or something that would reveal that this is actually the the dude that Elizabeth is dating wait hold on he's in Germany it's

Brian Atlaswait in Germany it's uh like what three a.m it's nine hours later

SPEAKER_00yes how can you be in a relationship with someone you've never spoke to let alone scene please Brian get real natch on smiley face yo Mr Ben having thank

Brian Atlasyou so much for the uh the streamlabs tip man appreciate it um people keep telling me about the real natch I gotta I gotta check him out uh I'll take a look at this stuff um

Brian Atlasbut word like it doesn't really make a lot of sense so he's in Germany well yes do you have any plans to visit him like be together no definitely okay so you wouldn't consider yourself

Elizabethsingle right now no because I respect him because I don't want to be talking to anybody else like I'm I don't have interest with anybody else because I see so true hold on are your parents because last time you were on

Brian Atlasthe show your parent both your parents your mom and dad were watching the stream yes did they say did they drive you today yeah are they watching in the car right now I have no idea you're probably watching

Brian Atlasthat I have no idea okay so you have to use okay all right oh my gosh yeah tell them to stop launching so we can get into the nitty-gritty mommy can you leave huh Mom can you leave right now

Brian Atlasthank you what about Dad what about Dad what about what can you say this can you say in Vietnamese uh just in case you know

Brian AtlasI don't speak much Vietnamese you don't sadly wow Haram Okay so this whole situation is very confusing so yeah you have to understand I do want

Brian Atlasto understand that so he does tick tock dances no it's not and he's in Germany how many followers does he have on tick tock quite a bit how many I think reaching 12 million oh

Brian Atlas12 million and he's does how many on Instagram how many followers on Instagram

Brian Atlasum like 1.5 million how old is he um 23. very okay um and he's

Brian Atlasa nine ten plus hour flight away from you listen uh he's talking to other women I don't do you have issue do you have an issue with that

Elizabeththere's no way he's committed to you uh talking or not I don't think so or like if you don't think so like I'm pretty sure he sees that I was like he's got because that's what I do too like

Brian Atlasreligious I believe he is you what he's your boyfriend but you don't know if he's religious are you religious I'm really I don't really remember I'm Catholic you're Catholic but how

Brian Atlasyou've never had the the quick condo well you message back and forth on yeah but not that topic would it bother you

Brian Atlasif you knew right now he was just like getting down with some Frau line do you know the frail line is no it's like a young German woman that

Brian Atlaswouldn't bother me but I don't it wouldn't bother you that your boyfriend I don't think you know what I mean but what if he was but why would you want to think that it's not about it's not about whether you want to think it or not it's like

Brian Atlastrust issues in this it's not about I mean you you've never met in person you've never even had a phone conversation yeah I'm he's an attractive guy Young

Brian Atlashe's got you said 12 million followers on Tick Tock 1.5 million on Instagram there's probably chicks in his there's probably women in his DMS you're probably just I mean I'm just being uh don't shoot the messenger you're

Elizabethprobably just on the slow burner for him like slow burner like at one point he'll meet you and then but he's probably seeing other women I think that's what he thinks I'm doing like he thinks I'm seeing other guys

Brian Atlasbecause there's like a bunch of guys trying to hit on me oh he's has he mentioned like oh are you I I he has trust issues because he that's projection because he's probably other chicks

Brian Atlasdo you does that upset you that your boyfriend other women why are you saying this into my head when it's not fair well I don't I can't say definitively but like given the information you've provided again I

Brian Atlascould be wrong I could be wrong here but given what you've told me I'm strongly leaning towards this guy's whatever you believe this is I could be

Brian Atlaswrong yeah do you actually the the not a catfish could you want to issue a breakup right now because I'm like 97.33 sure he's cheating on you uh it

Brian Atlasdoesn't matter next whatever podcast breaking up relationships next question I know I mean I'm well I'm are you jealous I'm not I'm not joking is that

SPEAKER_00why actually did we there was a little you know last Brandon Mills donated 99 she's talking to that folk bunch tihi is

Brian Atlasthat is that who it is no that sounded like a yes no it's not the way you said no it sounded like a yes hold on Falco punch let me look at that

MorganFalco punch see and I hope you enjoyed talking to him but like I don't understand how you can not have a phone call or a FaceTime and you know I'm not saying he's catfish like he definitely probably is real but if you want to be

Morganin a serious relationship with someone you said you're a Catholic how can you date someone you don't even know their religion you don't really know where they're at and like I don't understand that um I believe he's fresh Christian

Elizabethso like probably because but hold on what do you mean you believe because he's on articles I read before you know what I mean so it's kind of like you get to know someone through that

Brian Atlasbut I mean it's I feel like it's either they're Christian or they're not so what what did you specifically read that would make lead you to believe that he might be Christian

Brian Atlasum it has this reminds me of the same morals as me like throughout the strata and things and he's in in the Articles you mentioned that were published in any of those articles does he say anything

Brian Atlasabout his faith or Jesus or any mentioning any it doesn't say that but so how how do the articles I'm just trying to connect here please no I'm just trying to connect the dots like how do

Madisonokay um whatever so okay what about you thank you Ryan go ahead it's complicated your relationship status is accomplished are you still in that situation chip

Brian Atlasthat you were let's just say I'm single yeah you're single for how long have you been single for like two months two months when's the last time you hung out with your on-again off-again two-year

Ambersituationship I don't know like yesterday I don't know I'm just kidding I mean if you want to make this podcast spicy I can like can what what do you mean just my mic

Brian Atlaswhat Oh I thought you said it just my mic should I put it it's built it down down no it's fine that's fine it looks this looks fine to me should I put it down

Brian AtlasI think it's fine it's fine I'm Nick is it has sometimes sometimes she gets counting behind it okay yo flan life thank you for the uh gifted time worships man really appreciate it

Brian Atlasthank you uh yeah no let's get into it okay so uh single two months you've been single for two months uh you but you the guy who you wait hold on okay you've been single for

Brian Atlastwo months that's a whole story like it's a really long story well I'll try to ask questions to make things concise so you previously mentioned that you were dating the guy for about two years

Brian Atlasis that correct okay but it wasn't ever a relationship is that it was it was a relationship it was a monogamous relationship okay

Amberuh for two years you said but you said it was on on and off again uh I think towards like the end of the two years um it was very like obviously we fought more um we didn't really share that much like

Amberinterest I don't know he has like angriest shoes so that kind of like you know and he has you know he's insecure so I think that kind of you know insecurity opens a lot of doors um

Amberyou know and obviously like I was like we're fighting too much I think like we should just be friends um it's just getting you know too much sure Waits okay so you

Brian Atlas've been single for two months but my question was when's the last time that you saw your I suppose ex-boyfriend was it yesterday he drove me here

AmberI was Chris okay we drove here together so oh no what um so you're single for two months when's the last time you guys

Brian Atlashooked up was it today I remember no it was yesterday no long time ago this week you said okay because you said you've been single for two months yeah have you hooked up with your ex-boyfriend in the

Amberpast two months no but he drove you here yeah because the thing is like I grew up Christian I grew up in like in the Christian Community and um I my sexuality actually got like

Ambersuppressed I don't really need sex to be honest like for me I'm very like I don't need it like I'm more of a you know like emotional you know attachment or emotional connection with somebody

Brian Atlasso you guys are just friends right now yes hanging out so you you've broken up but you guys are do you hang out every day no how frequently do you hang out in a friendly

Ambercapacity probably twice a week twice a week okay yeah um is does he want to get back with you of course oh but you don't want to get back with him no because I think I'm

SPEAKER_00focusing on myself right now I feel like I really wanna like kind of fix the things that I have you know like I'm focus on myself like you know insecurities that I have sorry

SPEAKER_00hold on seven donated 99 organized religion is all well and good but it is an echo chamber just like social media it confirms individual

SPEAKER_00truths enabling therapists are a dime a dozen always ask questions especially from the people giving you advice transparency trust whatever

Brian Atlasuh Buddha monk thank you for the tip appreciate it um okay I appreciate the comment man um so wait okay

Brian Atlasyou he wants to get back with you you don't want to get back with him don't you think for the sake of moving on for yourself and him that you probably shouldn't be hanging out with

Amberhim twice a week it's a whole long story I feel like um would you guys live together no yeah we used to live together but it just got really toxic so we like kind of like separated and not live together anymore

Amberno actually I think it's like the opposite um he took us in the bed maybe I'm just kidding no no he didn't but there's like a whole story like if you want the Juicy Store like he broke my phone um he threw my makeup out the

Amberwindow um it's a whole thing yeah and that's toxic yeah you still hang out with us why would you still hang out because I feel like um I understand people are in touch with relationships because it's an addiction it's an addiction and I feel

Morganlike it's like a drug I feel like you know obviously you relapse I'm the type like if if you're gonna ruin my like mental health just leave you know or be viable wouldn't you want to leave that in the past and like not

Morganbe around him if he did these things to you and I mean and you're working past those things and working your own life why would you want to continue to enable him in a sense because if you're hanging out with him you're giving him a sense of like well maybe I could still be with

Amberher and I still have her you know what I did think like that before I was in a relationship like this I was like why did can people just leave and talk to relationships like he just leave you know people that hit you know other people until you're in one yeah until you're in one and it's so hard because

Amberyou're emotionally attached and you're codependent to that person and it's so different when you're in it because it's like wow like you know it's it's like an addiction it's hard it's hard to leave but probably because you haven't met

Elizabethlike the right person like if you met someone with better qualities you could compare and contrast this guy is not good I mean that's true I don't think that's I mean it's like this size

Brian Atlasone of the worst things that you can do and I'm not I am not when I say this I'm not advocating that you be toxic or abusive however one of the worst things

Brian Atlasthat you can do is bore a woman and I think that a lot of women find it exciting to be involved with these bat that's why you even women

Brian Atlasconfess it themselves I'm attracted to Bad Boys yep like so women are attracted to them because oftentimes they display these dark Triad personality traits not

Brian Atlasme I think not all women not all women but like a lot of women will say I like bad boys I'm attracted to yeah I think it's like a phase two no I think it's like a trauma thing I know what you mean

Amberdo you feel like you're trauma bonded to him like you have to be around what is a trauma it's all about is like for example like my parents like I think it's what you see as a child like y'all your parents Dynamic is um if your parents did have like a toxic environment with that you're used to

Amberthat like that makes you feel comfortable because your whole life you've been like you know kind of like used to parents fight all the time they get you know like separated they come back together and as a child like you see that that's normalized to your

Amberparents divorce um I think your psycho your psychiatrist or psychologist therapist therapist did your therapist tell you that did she tell you to stay in the toxic no I think I figured out by myself and you know it's true like my

Amberparents my dad's an alcoholic my mom is like opposite like she doesn't do anything like that but their Dynamic has been for 25 years like he tried my mom tried to help my dad and he didn't want help he said you know what I don't want therapy he literally told me like I

Brian Atlasdon't want therapy you know he drinks he's like he's like a teenager he drinks drink drinks and then like he feels sorry blah blah and then he's okay and then he drinks again um this idea that like what you witnessed as a child with your parents

Brian Atlasrelationship dynamic means that you are going to be compelled to chase after or engage in similar relationships this is why I'm kind of like psychology is not a

Brian Atlasscience because for example you could have a father who's an alcoholic and that could either lead you in two different paths it could either lead you to not drinking at all because

Brian Atlasyou witnessed it or you too could become an alcoholic so that's why I question like psychology because like you have the same you could take two people with alcoholic fathers and one of them as I

Amberjust said swears off drinking entirely and the other becomes an alcoholic too so it's like I don't know yeah like my sister like she's I mean obviously I don't drink at all because my dad and my sister doesn't

Amberdrink at all my sister like obviously we're very different like she's 11 years older than me um she didn't actually like she has a healthy relationship and stuff like that

Brian Atlasum obviously she didn't like end up with an alcoholic you know she got married um okay so but so he's kind of thrown your through your makeup out the window

Amberhe broke your phone I guess yeah your boy your ex-boyfriend who drove you here today but um you know like I have my other relationships weren't like that though like I had healthy relationships

Amberhow long did those last compared to the two-year toxic one well like I said before I was raised Christians so all my relationship the last two years like two years a year six months like I'm very traditional in that way like I have you

Amberknow my hidden Miss like I'm really in the Middle with things okay um I'm like yeah is this toxic relationship your longest relationship you've ever had no uh my first ever relationship was

Amberlike three years well you're 22 right I know it was 15 to like 17. I mean it doesn't count it doesn't count but like you know for me like I believe like what's the

Elizabethpoint of a toxic relationship when the person is just gonna weigh you down like don't you want someone to kind of uplift you up I think it's just kind of like I for me I Envision

Elizabethum your person right doing to kind of grow and build your life together with them and not like should I say like hurting you like you don't want someone's gonna hurt your future because

Elizabethgood men are boring to most women you know that's what everyone that's not the goal here though if there's a good Master like if you want I don't think if you want like marriage given the choice

Elizabethif given the choice between like a good guy who's if you want like a good healthy marriage and the husband and a family the end you have to kind of know that you don't want

Madisonthe toxic relationship I don't think anyone wants like or like you have to know you should lead to the end you know what I mean like no one wants to settle down with a toxic man or woman see I think women just have a problem where

Morganthey think they can fix and change a guy though and just in general terms there is a guy that comes in who's super toxic but you're like no I can fix them I can change them when in reality yeah you can't you can't change the guy it's

Morgangonna come down the guy's Choice which I mean and for your sake like I'm sorry that you're dealing with that it's like that's really difficult it's like us women also have to be strong enough

Morganto leave those situations and know what's best for us and for our futures because if you do want to find you know a good guy that's going to support you going to have that stability I mean stability is not going to come with

Morgantoxicity and I'm not saying toxic masculinity because I also don't think toxic masculinity exists that's aside from that but there's toxic people yeah and if he has toxic Behavior then that's not healthy for you yeah and I feel like

Madisona lot of just people with toxic Behavior like that lead into very toxic relationships are just also very immature people that true yeah

Brian Atlasthat's what it is I'm curious like why you broke up with him I mean typically the best Mo after a breakup for The Breakup to actually work

Madisonis you can no longer see that person I was going to ask if just like you hanging out with him still do you feel like that interferes with your past to

AmberI guess focusing on yourself I'm like moving on away yeah but I feel like um how I see kind of like an addiction because I feel like that's what is to me I feel like you slowly kind of like

Amberleave it you know you can't just leave a vape and just cold turkey yeah some people can do that but some people can't they have to be like okay I'm not gonna Vape what for your therapist tell you this no I think you just I think you

Brian Atlasshould just leave are you saying hold on maybe your mental no stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop are you saying you

Elizabethneed to taper off your toxic abusive ex are you saying you're trying to taper forever I think every deals with it

Madisondifferently like this is definitely not the first time that I've heard about a situation did I actually send the nuke yeah you did and it like I said earlier like it's really hard to leave a toxic relationship and a lot of people don't

Amberknow because they're not in one yeah and you never know how it feels exactly like how hard it is to actually leave I didn't know like before I was like you know what because you're kind of like attached right yeah you're emotionally yeah like trauma bonding is like I feel

Amberlike it's real and like it's hard it's really really hard it's like ask a drug addict like it's really hard to like get off of that like so okay you mentioned that he threw

Brian Atlassome make out of oh you want to know why well hold on you said you said he threw the makeup out the window and he did he break her phone or he just what did he do to your phone so basically on the ground Yeah so basically like he got I

Brian Atlasdon't need to know the backstory I'm just asking like he did are those the only two things he did or was there more there's other yeah did he hit you no okay so it's just like throwing things breaking property but he never

Amberlaid hands on you I think I think verbal was like one of like from me you know that's worse than like physical abuse you know like I feel like because it's like it's like no

AmberPsychology was like that's harder you know like um I don't think anybody should go through this and that's why like I kind of like like talking about it so people know that it's not okay um when people insult you with your

Amberinsecurities like if someone like what's an example of something he would say or something no um he would attack like insecurities of mine that I like um told them to protect you know like to protect my

Amberfeelings because I was one emote to him you know like for example like oh nobody's gonna like you because you do this and this and that like things that like obviously he knows that I'm insecure about what do you do um like for example like you play you

Ambercollect Pokemon cards that's cool I don't know something like that yeah just just stuff like that oh like um oh I'm gonna go and what did he say one time he's like oh

Amberlike I'm not gonna um next girl that I'm gonna get she's gonna have a big ass and stuff like that you know because he knows I'm insecure about my body you know like you know my whole life they call me skinny and stuff like

Amberthat that's like no he's not a good man he's like an enemy yeah that's like an enemy as a guy yeah it's like I don't think nobody should deal with that like people

Amberinsult you with your insecurities yeah that he's not you he's not even to protect you know that's what a man should do like you know like be there to like protect attack are there any other examples of anything

Amberhe said that was insensitive or yeah whenever he doesn't get his ways like hoe like just like kind of like lots of yikes insulting me and I'm like so what makes you still want to hang out

Morganwith him then I think convenience no that shouldn't be the answer oh well like you know like convenience just because like he's there and you know that he'll answer yeah like do you feel like you're still getting it's almost

Amberlike negative attention from him then like even if he's saying something that you do want to hear but you know that he's bad it's not even about that it's about like because when I came to La he was the one that was there for me the

Amberwhole time and nobody obviously I didn't know anybody in La um and then that kind of you know kind of gives that Bond of like oh like he's been there for me this whole time it was so you're dependent on him you moved from her yeah where did you move

Brian Atlasfrom San Diego was like 12 and a half okay um and you said he drove you here so two hour drive from La yeah you think he's watching the show right now no you sure about that he's 33. like

Elizabethwho oh I'm 34.

Madisonwould you throw it away no no and you just don't know this he kind of just I guess picks on you because he's older do you think like right I think it's because he's insecure like a lot of

Ambermen that or just women in general when they're feeling secure I feel like they attack you because you know they feel like they're not good enough you know like maybe he feels like he's 33 and he he's not where he wants to be in life and that's why he insults me because I

Elizabethsee he sees that he's insecure yeah he's an insecure man that's a boy I mean like what he's doing is 100 wrong but I was almost anticipating this would be like a younger guy a 21 year old like yeah it

Brian Atlasseems like kind of an immature thing like very but I feel like okay well uh if he is watching the show that's going to be an awkward ass two-hour drive back to LA that's all I'm gonna say

Amberum I don't care to be honest at this point you like you guys are how about I make a podcast just to like say all this stuff do you eventually wanna kind of just like cut ties with him yeah of course when is that weaning because right now you're like weaning

Morganoff right yeah hanging out only twice a week when do you have that I don't wanna I wanna stop seeing him now hold on to the the taper thing was this like a methadone clinic you got a okay

Brian AtlasI'm gonna go from four days a week to three days a week to two days a week that could have been one it does help it helps you yeah babe I just broke up with you but can you please still be my support while going through the breakup

Amberthat I was like obviously I relapse you know I