Men Make NO EFFORT?! What Do They Bring To The Table? HEATED DEBATE w/ Feminists! | Dating Talk #131
Date: 2024-01-31
Duration: 6h 12m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_00TTS Reader(audience)
SPEAKER_01Jake(guest)
SPEAKER_03Ariana(guest)
SPEAKER_04Kayla(guest)
SPEAKER_06Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_07TTS Reader(audience)
SPEAKER_08Lily(guest)
SPEAKER_09Toia(guest)
SPEAKER_10Vanika(guest)
SPEAKER_11Shay(guest)
SPEAKER_12Katie(guest)
Key Moments
00:02:54
IntroGuest introductions begin. Kayla opens as first guest: tooth technician, 24, Joshua Tree CA.
“my name is Kayla I'm 24 years old I'm from Joshua Tree California and I am a tooth technician”
00:03:15
IntroToia introduces herself: 20yo UCSB economics student, Bay Area. Says she is "so single and so happy about it."
“hi I'm toia I'm a 20-year-old from the Bay Area I go to school here at UCSB and I'm a student”
00:03:16
IntroKatie introduces herself as non-monogamous/polyamorous with an overseas lover.
“my name is Katie I'm 29 I'm originally from Vermont and I work in child care”
01:34:24
Key MomentBrian states his personal rule: if he goes on a first date and is interested, all other men must be out of the picture before a second date.
“my personal standard on this is if I go on the first date with a girl and I'm interested in pursuing her all the other guys have to be a rap”
02:34:42
QuoteJake discloses that his own promiscuous past has "come back to bite" him with principled women.
“if I could take back time I'd probably be a little bit more frugal with it if I was your age”
03:09:06
OtherNaraj mock proposal moment: Brian puts a ring on Vanika's finger on-air. Vanika says she would consider marrying Naraj if he is willing to wait while she builds herself.
“he drove you here yes because my car broke... will you marry Naraj”
03:48:06
OtherToia reads her lengthy written list of partner requirements live on air, covering ~20+ detailed criteria.
“emotional and not afraid to admit their feelings existential and or philosophical interested in the world driven and ambitious...”
04:04:12
QuoteJake states his ideal woman must 'fear God', preferably be a virgin or very low body count, feminine, submissive, and want to have a big family.
“she has to fear God she has to be a Godly woman she has to not has to but preferably a virgin if not a very low body count with only Partners feminine submissive loyal and just wants to have a family and multiply”
04:07:24
OtherBrian reads out his detailed partner preference list on air — including preference for natural bodies, no plastic surgery, no big labia plasty, moderate looks, introversion, low body count.
“any race is fine but I do have a slight preference for white women... strong preference for no plastic surgery no fake tits no fake lips no BBL”
04:38:00
ControversyJake claims feminism is "the worship of the devil" and cites book Occult Feminism by Rachel Wilson.
“feminism is the worship of the devil... you can read a book called occult feminism by Rachel Wilson”
04:45:12
Key MomentKayla reads out Mallerie Millett quote on destroying the American family through promiscuity and homosexuality.
“why are we here today she asked to make a revolution... how do we destroy the American patriarchy by destroying monogamy... by promoting promiscuity eroticism prostitution and homosexuality”
05:31:48
ControversyBrian's warfare argument: male suffering in WWI/WWII and forced conscription outweighs all women's collective grievances historically and in modern day.
“that sole grievance that men have nearly exclusively experienced outweighs in orders of magnitude more than all of women's Collective Grievances and that is Warfare”
06:08:00
QuoteBrian closes show noting circumcision as modern-day male bodily autonomy argument.
“most men in this country are circumcised upon birth... they have their genitals mutilated I know you're laughing I'm sure it's funny to you”
Topics Discussed
00:02:54
Introductions & relationship statuses
Guests introduce themselves with name, age, location, occupation. Panel discusses current relationship statuses including long-distance, polyamory, situationships, and singlehood.
00:26:49
American men vs international men
Discussion on whether American men lack effort compared to international men. Toia and Shay argue international men (European, Israeli, Australian) put in more effort and are more mature. Jake and Brian push back.
00:35:00
Do men make enough effort in dating
Main debate: whether men make adequate effort in modern dating. Panel discusses LA dating culture, hookup culture at UCSB, and what constitutes effort (flowers, dates, communication).
01:34:24
How long to wait before sex / the waiting standard
Extended debate on whether women should wait to have sex vs sleeping with someone immediately. Discussion of double standards when women sleep with some men immediately but make others wait. Reddit post about woman sleeping with FWB while making boyfriend wait.
02:27:00
Ho phases & past promiscuity
Panel discusses personal "ho phases." Kayla describes overlapping dating at ages 17-19. Katie discusses polyamory. Jake reflects on his own promiscuous past and regrets.
03:00:00
Do men need to pay on first dates
Brian argues men should only pay for traditionally-minded women. If a woman is non-traditional, she should expect non-traditional treatment (50/50).
03:06:00
Penis size discussion
Tangential discussion after TTS donation. Guests estimate ideal penis size via hand gestures on camera.
03:09:06
Vanika / Naraj proposal moment
Brian stages a mock marriage proposal between Vanika and her admirer Naraj (who drove her to the show after her car broke down). Vanika tries on a ring but declines immediate marriage.
03:13:00
Polyamory / open relationships
Katie discusses non-monogamy and having a primary overseas lover. Brian and Jake argue polyamory is bad for society and family formation. Destiny divorce cited as example.
03:36:00
What guests are looking for in a partner
Guests share their dream partner lists. Toia reads her lengthy written list. Brian shares his detailed preferences including dislike of plastic surgery, preference for natural women, introverts, low body count.
04:00:00
Feminism: history, the patriarchy, wage gap
Jake quotes feminist Mallerie Millett on destroying the American family. Discussion on whether women are oppressed, the wage gap, STEM participation, and the definition of patriarchy.
04:53:00
Are women better looking now or in 10/20 years
Light topic: guests say whether they think they will be better looking in 10 or 20 years. Most say yes; Brian says he peaked at 19 and won't be better looking.
05:30:00
Men vs women oppression: warfare & conscription
Brian argues male-specific suffering from warfare and forced military conscription outweighs all women's collective grievances. Guests debate selective service, bodily autonomy, circumcision, and historical context.
Transcript
Page 1 of 7
00:00:08
Brian Atlaswelcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast where we try to make sense of the modern dating hellscape thanks for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live from Santa Barbara
00:00:19
Brian AtlasCalifornia every Sunday and Tuesday at 5:00 p.m Pacific I'm your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host Kiki she's back there hiding uh she's a bit shy a few quick announcements before
00:00:31
Brian Atlasthe show begins sorry that we are starting late today was an absolute show um most flakes we've ever had we had six flakes in a 24-hour period 10
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Brian Atlasflakes total um so uh our apologies for our uh little delayed start time our late start time thank you for your patience guys this podcast is viewer supported heavy YouTube demonetization
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00:01:56
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00:02:08
Brian Atlasof our time if you can't catch the full shows we have a Clips Channel link is three Clips Channel link is in the description go subscribe and we in December we had a really good month in December a lot of views in December so
00:02:20
Brian Atlasgo see what the hype is about links are below um and also I mentioned this in our last show but like Midway through the show uh just wanted to do quick thank you guys the main Channel this
00:02:29
Brian Atlaschannel hit one 1 billion Total video views uh in late December so uh appreciate it guys thank you for getting us to 1 billion views on the main Channel and that's without Clips or
00:02:40
Brian Atlasshorts that's just long form long form content so appreciate it disclaimer the views expressed by the panelists do not necessarily reflect the views of the whatever podcast or the host without further Ado we're going to have the
00:02:53
Kaylaguests introduce themselves so please tell us your name age location so where you from and occupation go ahead all right my name is Kayla I'm 24 years old I'm from Joshua Tree California and I am
00:03:04
Toiaa tooth technician hi I'm toia I'm a 20-year-old from the Bay Area I go to school here at UCSB and I'm a student what uh what do
00:03:15
Katieyou uh what's your major I'm an econ major econ okay welcome my name is Katie I'm 29 I'm originally from Vermont and I work in child care all right welcome my
00:03:27
Lilyname is Lily I'm 21 I'm originally from the Bay Area but I go here at UCSB and I'm a senior all right welcome I'm Shay I'm also from the bay and I also go to
00:03:36
Brian AtlasUCSB and I'm 21 major econ as well you're both econ uh no I'm bio oh bio okay so econ econ bio got
00:03:44
Arianait my name is Ariana I'm 21 years old and I'm a student okay welcome and I I'm also live in Joshua Tree as well
00:03:55
Vanikaokay hi my name is vanika I'm a h artist and planner moved here 18 months before in Ali basically I'm from India basically you're from India yes I'm from
00:04:06
JakeIndia okay could it ever be like complicated you're from India no India okay dating is kind of I would say Okay
00:04:16
Brian Atlasum Jake 28 years old rattlesnake TV on YouTube from Brisbane Australia welcome welcome thank you okay cool so um we are going to go around the table once more
00:04:27
Brian Atlasso what's everybody's current relationship status so are you single talking stage situationship Friends with Benefits relationship married polycule sex cult there's all kinds of Arrangements nowadays if you're single
00:04:39
Kaylahow long have you been single and what's the longest relationship you've ever been in go ahead currently I am seriously dating and I'm very happy um second question you asked
00:04:52
Kaylawas you're Cur you're currently in a relationship right I am yes and my longest relationship has been 4 and a half years is that is that your current one or no okay this one's less than half of that uh how long have you been in
00:05:05
Kaylayour current relationship um I say we like dated but it was long distance for a while and then I moved out here so since April
00:05:15
Brian Atlasit's been serious okay so is it still long distance or now you guys it is yeah still long distance it's still long distance okay um he's it's kind of complicated tell us how's it complicated
00:05:28
Brian Atlaswell um I'm moved out here to be closer to him and then he moved well yeah it was long distance she moved come on and then he moved away I think he's trying to get away from you um so okay uh but
00:05:41
Brian Atlasso okay you said it's complicated so you moved out here MH to be with him but then is he in the military he is that makes sense good connection okay um where is he now um I don't know if I'm
00:05:52
Kaylasupposed to say you don't know oh okay you just he just his platoon had to go Middle East huh huh no okay maybe we
00:06:00
Kaylashouldn't talk about that subject but is he currently deployed yes um ah okay so he moved for work yeah he did
00:06:10
Kaylawell he's coming back three months you don't know where your boyfriend is no I do I just don't last time I posted where he was and they told me to take it down
00:06:21
Brian Atlasokay all right Area 51 I see oh Area 51 yeah she's going to Naro to run go invaded okay uh what about you uh so current I am so single and so
00:06:32
Toiahappy about it so sing but like no talking to anyone no crushes nothing like I'm so grateful what's so good about being so single if you oh it's like all my energy focused on like my
00:06:44
Toiafriends myself my career like just being present it's amazing I love it what and uh so so single when's um how long have
00:06:53
Toiayou been so single for uh like a month one month and what were you were you like kind of single before in a relationship was it was like friends friends with benefit I was
00:07:05
Toiaabroad and I like it was like good friend with benefits type thing you know little European fling little European you said you were abroad where were you um Spain oh in Spain okay you're uh
00:07:16
Brian Atlasdoing a like you're an international student there yeah like studying abroad there okay and you were there for like a COR is it the quarter sem I was there for like a semester but I was traveling
00:07:26
Toiabeforeand Madrid lovely yeah okay wait so hold on uh you were dating a guy while you were in Spain sure dating isn't the right word we were friends
00:07:37
Toiawith benefits we would travel together was he a Spanish man no where was he from was he part of your pro your program uh yeah we met on the first day of school American no oh what country I
00:07:50
Brian Atlasdon't like American boys you don't like American boys no we should we we'll let everybody answer the question but we'll come back to the what's wrong with American boys okay we can definitely hit
00:07:59
Brian Atlasthat um okay so um uh you came back you were in a thing while you were there now you're so single very single and happy not looking for anything cool uh well
00:08:12
Brian Atlasand we'll come back to some of these uh oh longest relationship a year one year okay gotcha what about you what were the questions
00:08:22
Brian Atlasagain um yeah so uh current relationship status if you're single how long have you been single longest relationship
00:08:30
Katieum So currently between single and in a poly relationship I consider myself non
00:08:37
Katiemonogamous um I do have a lover that's cross Seas right now not military um
00:08:46
Brian Atlasbut yeah and longest relationship is 4 and a half years is that your current no Pol okay no so you said you're single
00:08:56
Katiebut you have you're I consider A polyamorous relationship how long is your current this current relationship um I've known this person for a little over a year um
00:09:08
Katieso it's been can you speak a little closer to M please yes um I've known this person a little over a year um on and off relationship is this the person who's overseas yes and he he's also
00:09:20
Katieconsiders himself I don't know non monogamous you don't know so have you told him that you're non monogamous I think it's an understanding have you explicitly said that no but we weren't
00:09:32
Katietogether and then I came I was in Vermont and then I came back and he was has gone to Thailand um and he's probably experiencing the local spouses over there I don't know he's working
00:09:44
Katiehe's really busy and I mean we still talk and I still I very much love him very much and when we see each other we'll very much be together but I'm also just like my own person it's a wrong
00:09:55
Brian Atlassplit Nick um Okay so hold on uh open relationships open relationships it's a way to go it's a way to go it's a way to go are you uh so
00:10:07
Katieyou have your main right that's my understanding with like Paulie there's like a main and then or there could be multiple you're all just loving together each other yeah so poly Amry would be
00:10:18
Katiethat you have is Tech that you have your main to so that that he's I consider him he's my lover right that's who my heart is very much in love with him um but you
00:10:28
Katiestill and have other go on dates and other encounters would you ever marry that person I don't know I I think yes marriage has been a whole
00:10:40
Katielike I thought for 25 years of my life that oh I want to get married white picket fence that whole lifestyle until I started traveling and fell in love with myself and now it's like relationships are actually quite
00:10:52
Jakedifficult now for me to be in is that reckon you because you've had too many experiences on your travels that you can't quite stick to one person person or um very little experiences on my
00:11:02
Katietravels it's more no I was very in long-term relationships about 3 to four four and a half years before traveling and then after that decided to just be in love with myself for a while and like
00:11:15
Jakeyou're saying the whole single thing is a big thing and encouraged for young women would you would you want to do that forever though just be in love with yourself or would you want to share your life with
00:11:25
Katiesomebody I want to share my life with a lot of people I love a lot of people and I think love is more expansive than just one person but in terms of a romantic love you'd want to have romantic love with lots of different people that's
00:11:38
Katiewhat open relationships are yeah and what about having kids though would you want to have kids I believe so I mean I work in child care so for again 25 years of my life I thought I wanted that I was ready to have kids with the person I was
00:11:50
Katiewith in that 4 and a half year relationship um which actually is pretty toxic of a relationship um so it's crazy to think I would have had a baby with someone then and now to come to find out
00:12:02
Katiejust a few years later of having time with myself I definitely want to have a child of my own obviously to continue um but and would you maintain the
00:12:11
Brian Atlaspolyamorous lifestyle if you had a child with somebody I don't know yeah are you uh you so you have your main are you seeing any other guys currently no okay
00:12:22
Brian Atlasor women just to be clear okay so you you are bisexual you date both okay um but you're not seeing anybody else no okay but if something were to come along
00:12:32
Lilyyou might consider it entertain it yes okay God it what about you um I do I reintroduce myself my name is Lily and I've been single my whole life okay that
00:12:44
Lilyis my relationship at all I am sing I am single single your whole life yes um what's the but you I'm sure you've dated people I've gone on dates but I don't think I've ever like settled down and like committed to being in a
00:12:56
Brian Atlasrelationship with one person what's the longest consecutive period of time that you've dated one person never dated anybody
00:13:06
Brian Atlaswell like maybe there was a guy or a girl are you bisexual you're by okay have you dated a guy or a girl uh you know maybe it was a casual thing for like a period of a month two months
00:13:18
Lilythree months have you had that I've got like I've gone on dates with a cons like a person consecutively for a long period of time but I don't think I've ever like asked to be someone's girlfriend before so I would what about like a Friends
00:13:29
Brian Atlaswith Benefits have you had like a 3mon 6 month what about situationship yes how long what's the longest situationship that you've had three months three months got it okay was that was that
00:13:39
Brian Atlaswith a guy or a girl guy guy okay got it okay um and is that people have they've had an interest in having a relationship
00:13:50
Lilyand you haven't or yes okay I just I am very independent person I like to dedicate a lot of time to myself and like I said I like to work on myself a lot I'm very much just like an independent person and I have extremely
00:14:03
Brian Atlashigh goals for myself so it's hard to find time to even have a relationship you said sorry go ahead Oh no just like I'm very focused on myself well you said you're a biom major do are you interested in pursuing medicine is that
00:14:14
Brian Atlasabsolutely you want to be a doctor or I want to be a professor oh Professor okay um of biology Immunology Immunology I see okay uh and
00:14:26
Brian Atlasso I assume that would mean that you have to pursue a PhD so yeah it certainly takes quite a bit of time um so is it do you want to have kids one
00:14:36
Brian Atlasday absolutely absolutely okay and so but it sounds like to me at the time being you're kind of disregarding the pursuit of a relationship because right now you're
00:14:47
Brian Atlaskind of focused on your studies and you want to achieve certain things and perhaps that's something maybe uh I don't know if you have a sense of a timeline maybe in your mid to late 20s maybe early 30s that's when you would like too exactly I feel like I'd like to
00:15:00
Lilysettle down with someone in like my late 20s maybe like 25 26 you know and then have kids dedicate my 30s to my kids do you have a sense of would you prefer that person to be a man would you prefer
00:15:11
Brian Atlasto be a woman cuz I know you said did you say you want kids right yes yeah um so would you pref do you have a preference there when it prence I think
00:15:21
Brian Atlasso open to adoption or absolutely okay surrogacy okay got it okay um what about you I'm in a serious relation ship right now all right relationship how long have
00:15:30
Arianayou been in the relationship for for about seven months 7 months okay got it what about you I'm currently married and my longest
00:15:41
Brian Atlasrelationship is 3 years is that your current Mar my current relationship gotcha how long have you been married um like a year and 3 months probably a year
00:15:51
Vanikaand 3 months okay cool I'm currently single M and I would say I'm single from last seven months so yeah you said okay single for last seven
00:16:03
Brian Atlasmonths longest relationship it was two years two years okay got it all right um and you uh how long have you been in
00:16:15
Brian Atlasthe US cuz you're from India correct yeah I would say 18 months can you I would say 18 months 18 months okay all right uh so but you've been single for
00:16:27
Brian Atlasseven months in that seven month period so you wait you did have a relationship here in the US for yes I did period of time okay six months why did he dump you
00:16:37
Vanikakidding sorry I am killing I get to know that he's married oh he was married okay oh how did you uh not know that that's that's what the problem I he
00:16:50
Vanikadidn't like I didn't get to know the way he portrays himself it's like he's a single person and he was giving me good time he was was like taking care of me I didn't realize I honestly I had like no
00:17:02
Jakeidea he can be married but yeah eventually I go to his house or anything like that did he have a wedding ring on his no did you go to his house sorry did you go to his house
00:17:13
Vanikano because honestly I'm I was working a lot so I was like working a lot so how long were you dating him 6 months you never went to
00:17:23
Vanikahis Abode no he always went to your place I would say hotel meups um at my
00:17:32
Vanikaplace I would say yeah but not a lot so how did you find out uh I found out through his phone did you get in there by yourself or did he let you in
00:17:43
Vanikait was eventually honestly and also one thing was about his house that uh it was like he said he lives in a some certain place but I found a mail that says
00:17:54
Vanikaanother address you went there didn't you yeah so that that trick me like why this is a li did you drive past the address sorry did you drive past the address no don't lie to me did you did
00:18:06
Vanikayou not so I strictly asked him I strictly asked him and he was like kind of get panicked oh you're going through my mails and this and that was that's not what I'm asking you need to answer me and yeah he didn't answer so I I kind
00:18:19
Brian Atlasof get an idea like something is Fally going on so yeah but I get to know it so I have to end it up for sure and I did Good Times uh we we'll dive more into
00:18:31
Brian Atlasthat in a little bit Jake what is your uh relationship situation 28 and single and that's about it sweet okay and you've been traveling a lot recently any
00:18:42
Brian Atlasuh any love connections on your many travels too busy I just stay inside my Apartments my airbnbs the whole time in work no lady friends you know I don't
00:18:53
Brian Atlasget time you don't got time I don't get he's focused he's focused on the grind he focused on the grind okay cool well um so I have a few uh notes here that we
00:19:03
Brian Atlasneed to go over let me just see um I actually H I think a good starting point would be actually before we get back into some of the people's uh relationship statuses uh hold on one sec
00:19:14
Brian Atlasguys I have a kind of a light question to start if you had to choose would you rather your boyfriend cheat on you with
00:19:24
Brian Atlasa girl who is hotter or uglier than you if you had to choose uglier and we'll go around the table we'll start with you and we'll go around okay so for
00:19:37
Toiayou okay what about you um sure uglier yeah I guess okay I'm
00:19:48
Katiegoing to pass on that question what why why because I think looks are objective or subjective right so
00:19:58
Katieopinion hold on hold on okay who's to say that she's uglier or prettier than I am true um not going there well wait
00:20:08
Brian Atlashold on uh just one go ahead are you are you straight no you're by yes so you can't make a determination whether somebody is physically attractive to you
00:20:20
Brian AtlasI can but not if she's prettier than I am or not um so you you can assess someone's ATT ress but not if they're more
00:20:30
Brian Atlasattractive than you yeah okay
00:20:39
Katieum can I ask you a question sure okay who here is more or less attractive oh you want me to I could do that yes please I could do that I explain to me
00:20:50
Brian Atlashow you do that CU I don't understand be a little rude uh it would be right it might be a little rude but this is a I'm asking you a hypothetical question so it's rude in the sense that I can't answer them unless there's a girl there
00:21:03
Jakegive me a hypothetical girl what she look like give me details so Victoria Secret supermodel versus um then I would understand why he cheated on me with would you rather cheat with the Victoria
00:21:14
KatieSecret supermodel or um Hulk Hogan wearing a wig I would honestly say the hotter chick because I would say I want him to have standards like if he's going to
00:21:25
Nicksleep with someone that low then what was I question there we go there we all right what about you I'm going to go
00:21:31
Brian Atlasprettier prettier okay uglier yeah uglier uglier okay so
00:21:42
Vanikawhy you want to start with me yeah I we start with you I would say that's the basic thing like like maybe my English is like it's not my first language I don't sometime have the proper words so
00:21:54
Vanikawas his wife hotter or uglier than you say it again please was his wife hotter or uglier than you I would say
00:22:04
Jakethat obviously if a person is I maybe I misunderstood the question can you just repeat run again uh I asked the question was was your last boyfriend when you when you saw his family photos with him
00:22:16
Vanikaand his wife was she hotter or uglier than you um she she was good she was beautiful I would say I can I don't want to compare she's beautiful a beautiful lady I would say hotter or uglier than
00:22:29
Jakeyou though what do you think if you had to say it I have to say because normally if you have if you go for a side I Reon the side girl is probably going to be hotter I would say she is beautiful that's it
00:22:41
Arianaokay um I would say uglier because it would probably hurt less I don't know I think it would just hurt less would it be less
00:22:50
Shayof a threat yeah I think so yeah okay um if he's cheating at that point I'm already leaving and in my mind I'd
00:23:01
Shayrather uh think of him with an ugly girl than with a pretty girl cuz that's at that point kind of sure his League okay I said prettier cuz if she's bad I'll sleep with her too there you have
00:23:14
Katieit okay what about you oh well you need more Opinion podcast let me just say for the ones that are saying the ugly
00:23:23
Katiethat what like you got to your self value you know like you are so beautiful the question wasn't if you think you're beautiful though it's like if they think you think they're uglier or hotter than
00:23:33
Katieyou and why yeah but when you're saying like oh they're I want them to be uglier than me cuz it's boost your self-esteem like that doesn't matter people have OS matter people have OS totally does yeah and that's what the question is about
00:23:46
Jakeokay people's egos thank you we all have them oh totally so do you yeah so what do you think I think I said what I think but why would they be why would you want hotter well I said said because I want
00:23:58
Katiethem to have the standard cuz I think their standards would be I'm at that same standard so if they're like in Victoria Secret girls then I'm like a Victoria Secret girl must be wait I
00:24:08
Brian Atlasdon't know if that really checks out though okay so wait is the logic here I am dating my boyfriend my boyfriend is attracted to me if he
00:24:18
Brian Atlassleeps with a girl of a certain physical attractiveness airG go I must be just as physically attractive as the other woman he sleeps with is that the logic
00:24:29
Jakesure I'm not that doesn't sound like a very his his stand she's saying that his standards must be high so there therefore she must fall within those standards like when they go lower when
00:24:42
Katiethey go down when they go to uglier girls it's just like yo what happened to your standards like I've had this guy like dated a guy that had pretty girlfriend after pretty girlfriend after pretty girlfriend and then you see after
00:24:53
Katieso long he starts going down because they start finding out he's not very good person you know and so he has to start being so you're saying that his girlfriend's got uglier
00:25:08
Toiasubjectively yes okay good yeah this is kind of a hard question I kind of agree with everyone like I would just look at the guy and I'd be like I'd more look at the girl
00:25:19
Toialike what does she what is it about like the personality maybe that got him like if he's just sleeping with her because she's hot like good for him like that's great like um but it would be it would be beyond the appearance which is what
00:25:32
Toiawould irk me it wouldn't really like I don't think the first thing that would come to my mind it's like oh she's prettier than me I wouldn't be comparing myself to her like that okay what about you I think it would be more for my
00:25:43
Brian Atlasmental just feeling like I wouldn't have to worry about her anymore and you said you'd prefer if she was uglier just listen to some Beyonce and just get over yeah and he can live with that regret
00:25:54
Brian Atlasyou know yeah okay good times good times so one thing I want to go back to here for a little bit is uh some of the people's answers to the uh relationship
00:26:03
Brian Atlasstatus question um you said that you uh were not a big fan of American boys uh before I have you kind of elaborate on that anybody here concur with her her opinion are you not
00:26:16
Brian Atlasfans um I mean I don't know maybe some of you haven't been out of country or haven't met an international person uh in a romantic sense anyways um I guess General
00:26:28
Brian Atlasyeah I feel like you can't really answer this question if you haven't met an intern well anyways um does anybody else want to weigh in on that any thoughts on American men they're up there with Canada huh
00:26:40
Brian Atlasthey're up there with Canadians and where did they sit in the I like white boys you like white white boys well I suppose you could get are
00:26:50
Brian Atlascool too Norwegians what about swed sweds what do you think about the swedes I don't know the Finnish what do you think about the I know what I know what about the Danes you like that a you like
00:27:01
Brian Atlasthe Danish I do you like the Danish sure yeah I like Danish are there any other Scandinavian countries I'm I I hit Finland SC Denmark Sweden Norway are
00:27:13
Brian Atlasthere other Scandinavian those are the four main is Iceland Scandinavian yep is that Iceland is yep Scandinavian yeah but they're kind of like over there so they're like like you made an i they're
00:27:26
Jakenot like they're aren't they isn't Iceland's that's next to uh Canada isn't it wait no no that's that's Greenland oh that's I'm thinking Greenland duh does everyone even live on Greenland I think it's funny cuz Greenland is icy and
00:27:39
JakeIceland is green I heard that in the Disney movie like 20 years okay anyways um she likes that you like that um like Aryan flavor blond hair blue eyes not necessarily blonde hair blue eyes but
00:27:50
Nickjust you know Justin Bieber what about the Dutch do you like the Dutch um I don't know anyone who's Dutch the Netherlands like from the another I don't know anyone from there okay all
00:28:00
Brian Atlasright um don't you go step in here yeah uh so okay you we'll go around the well actually before we get to you um has anybody dated someone internationally compare and contrast
00:28:12
Brian Atlaswith American men I mean you're you got some Indian dating experience so India dating experience so what do you want to know about Indian dating experience compare them to American men what
00:28:23
Vanikacompare to American men oh yeah I would say they are they call you5 times marriage they what sorry they are forever ready for marriage okay as a as
00:28:33
Vanikaas a as as an Indians are forever ready for marriage yeah would say like 70% of them they want to take because they want to get married but is you find American men a
00:28:44
Vanikalittle bit harder to sort of lock down uh I have a couple of friends I wouldn't say I haven't dated that much so I don't know the thoughts about that but like I have friends they are in dating life and
00:28:55
Vanikathey are just you know seeing each other I would I have seen this they just like they're seeing each other and sees wherever it goes and N no don't want to get married no thoughts about it definitely not to marriage thoughts like
00:29:10
Shaythat anybody else yeah my boyfriend's um International too it's long distance but am I were you saying something it's oh
00:29:20
Shayum so my boyfriend's also International in my experience is um even if there's different like if they're similar hook up cultures in different countries um other countries the guys will put in a
00:29:31
Shaylittle bit more effort so whether that's flowers or taking you out on dates or complimenting you they're a lot sweeter um than these American men who are I guess accustomed to the hookup culture that we have here where it's a little
00:29:44
Shaybit less effort to get into a situationship or to like get with someone what do why do you think the reason is that men aren't giving you flowers and being sweet well I think
00:29:54
Shaythat abroad men are just raised a little a little bit differently like in my culture like I'm Russian it's standard that there needs to be flowers in the house and so these men are raised to
00:30:05
Shaybring flowers to their mom to their sisters not just the girls that they're trying to get with here in America I don't think that's taught so if you went on a first date with a guy and he bought flowers you you'd be flattered by that
00:30:17
Brian Atlasyeah I think that's an extra step um it shows that he cares that he's putting in the effort you said your your current boyfriend it's long distance where's
00:30:26
Brian Atlaswhere's he from he's in is okay um so he's Israeli okay um and so
00:30:34
Brian Atlasokay um he's is and you said it's always been long distance or yeah so um yeah I met him in the summer live there for a little bit and now we're doing long
00:30:44
Brian Atlasdistance okay um so you say men American men they don't put in enough effort as much yeah and you said you did say that uh the men in these other count
00:30:57
Brian Atlascountries perhaps where they do make more effort they're they're raised differently and when you say they're raised differently do you mean they're raised better perhaps in terms of how they treat women yeah I think so there's a lot more
00:31:08
Brian Atlasemphas do you do you also think correspondingly that the women in these other countries are also raised better I can't really speak on that in terms of relationships because I've
00:31:20
Brian Atlasnever like got on dates I've never seen how a woman would treat me in a different um country okay all right uh anybody else do you have experience International guys I don't have any
00:31:32
Brian Atlasexperience with International guys so okay we'll come back we'll come to you then since you originally uh made the comment um so American boys you're fed up with American boys um can you
00:31:43
Toiaexpand on that what do you what's your been what's your experience been it's the accents it's what gets me I love the accents no I'm kidding oh well that too but um I mean maybe it's because I meet
00:31:55
Toiaall these people like I also travel a lot so I meet a lot of people in like hosts or people who are traveling all over the world like you tend to be a little bit more open you know if you're traveling and just like more genuine so maybe the international people that I've
00:32:08
Toiamet are you know just kind of like-minded in that way but yeah I don't know it's just more fun um it's more interesting to me like I like learning
00:32:18
Toiaabout you know your country your culture where you're from um that's just something that I'm interested in um the banter is different you know the the language even is different it's just
00:32:29
Brian Atlaslike a whole new realm it's fun okay any um I think you've provided some reasons why perhaps you prefer dating uh not American men is there any
00:32:41
Brian Atlasdo you have any criticisms though of American men criticisms of American yeah it sounded like well here's the positives of dating International men but tell us what what were the what are some of the uh I mean sha talked a lot
00:32:52
Toiaabout it like the effort I mean we like I go to school here I vist is a huge hookup culture like the frats here you know they don't even let like guys into
00:33:02
Toiathe parties it's only like the Frat guys and then like beautiful beautiful women and they kind of like sit on like the fence and like look for the for women to like pick the the hookup culture here is
00:33:14
Toiacrazy I just I don't know and I think that American men just aren't as mature at our age at 20 as people in other countries who aren't as coddled and who
00:33:25
Toiamight you know have to work I I don't not even work just like do they're just raised differently I don't know more mature okay uh so it sounds like lack of effort is certainly uh lack of effort
00:33:37
TTS Readerand depth lack of depth I feel like and I want to ask the oh got one here grid One Motorsports donated $200 as much as I disagree with it this
00:33:48
TTS Readerentire panel makes the convincing argument for arranged marriage shallow vapid arrogant and deranged just begins to cover the list of red flags all
00:33:59
Brian Atlasright I will say we have no only fan Scrolls on tonight can I get a in the chat can I get a little some compliments little
00:34:11
TTS ReaderW's oh 777 seil 777 quintili 777 quadrillions 777 trillion
00:34:23
TTS Reader777 billion 777 million 7 77,78 donated $200 thank you my sprinkler goes like
00:34:36
TTS Readerthis good
00:34:42
Brian Atlasgood back it's not even done oh my honestly it's true that was good yeah thank you appreciate it uh grid one thank you good to see you in the chat man thank you for your patronage
00:34:53
Brian Atlasappreciate it um so wait going back to the the effort thing uh going around the panel um do you guys think that men
00:35:01
Brian Atlasdon't put in enough effort when it comes to Modern or when it comes to dating starting with
00:35:11
Kaylayou I've had experience with LA boys dating and it's just a no for me it's so shallow they're kind of like leeches even though you know the connection is not there right off the bat it just I'm
00:35:23
Brian Atlasa cut and run type of girl so I have literally like ditched dates before even if I was the ride that's how bad dating is here wait what hold on what do you mean by what is a cut and run cut and
00:35:35
Kaylarun is just kind of like I'm whether or not feeling like feeling anything romantic or potential and I'm not big on hookups maybe like in high school a
00:35:44
Kaylalittle bit but like now it's just no like I would never I would if I was in a relationship right now I would not date at the moment you are in a relationship now I am sorry
00:35:57
Jakeif I wasn't in a relationship right now I would not I see stay out here I'm have you ever done a bathroom break where You' just said I'm going to the toilet and then and then left I
00:36:09
Kayladon't think so I think I'm more obvious and literally run literally or drive away yeah there leeches out there wait so can you break
00:36:20
Kayladown the whole so you'll just leave a date mhm will you tell the date that you're well I will leave them after I say like a few times I want to go home
00:36:31
Kaylaor this like I'm not like never like at their place well maybe I would leave their place yeah probably I don't know there's too many
00:36:41
Brian Atlasstories wait so I'm you're on the date you're not feeling it mhm so example I don't think it's I mean you use the term cut and run to me that sort of paints it
00:36:51
Brian Atlasto me as if you're like walking up doing the bathroom thing and then just kind of ghosting yeah if you're not feeling it it occurs to me that it it certainly would it's fair to you know some
00:37:04
Brian Atlasdiplomatically and politely communicate that you know you're don't feel a connection and then excusing yourself but are you actually like just I'm going to the bathroom yeah
00:37:16
Kaylapretty much pretty much I'll like grab a friend or something if it's at a party setting I'll grab a friend and be like let's go but the last time I did it was when I went to the beach in Venice and I
00:37:26
Kaylawas the driver and he would not leave like he kept wanting to go place to place someone he even said he would pay for like the parking so I was like okay when he goes pay for parking I'm going
00:37:36
Jaketo just leave him there and I did dides your boyfriend get reception in Area 51 oh yeah he watch this yeah ours are different though okay cool so what's like what's the worst story where you
00:37:48
Kaylaactually felt a little bit bad after it um after leaving someone never never no if you were that person you might have felt bad what's the worst story yeah but I'm a big girl I can take care of myself you know I get a ride home you know talk
00:38:01
Kaylato a friend about it I don't know I would never keep company with someone who didn't want my company in return and that's where guys do not care so there's no stories where you can think that
00:38:11
Jakewe're particularly memorable oh I felt bad yeah no that maybe someone else with a conscience would have felt bad at all I have a
00:38:21
Brian Atlasconscience wait I'm just so how many times cuz like you said there was once where you were at a party I mean I feel like that's a bit different than if you've intentionally
00:38:32
Brian Atlasgone out one-on-one to meet somebody if you're just it's it's if it's more of a casual thing like oh yeah we can meet at this party I mean I think that's a
00:38:41
Brian Atlaslittle less uh if you just like dipped from the party I don't object to that to the same degree if it was like a scheduled date um but it sounds like you've done that on dates right yes when
00:38:54
Kaylahe gets the poging well on the date it's like one time he had one penny in his bank account after ordering so much food and
00:39:05
KaylaI wasn't going to pay for it so I excused myself nicely and left so he had one penny off to paying for all the food for you guys no he his card was denying and then he was like oh I have only a
00:39:17
Kaylapenny and he wasn't aware that he had only a penny before the DAT he didn't act like he knew so I um wait okay so how did you excuse yourself like role play this is uh oh I called my friend
00:39:30
Kaylaand she lived down the street from the restaurant and her boyfriend ended up paying for him but I just didn't see him after that I mean if you're going to go on the
00:39:40
Brian Atlasdate you should probably be prepared to take care of it like yeah how do you ask someone did he ask you to go get food yeah it was a date yeah asked you to go
00:39:50
Kaylaget food and and then maybe maybe he was hustling or did it never occur to you it never occurred to you that maybe you might have to pay I thought about paying but I was like so into like my business
00:40:03
Kaylaat the time that I was like I'm not about to pay for a guy who flexes so much acts so wealthy drives nice cars and then has a penny on his
00:40:13
Nickcard I don't know I just didn't feel right paying how do you just have a penny on your I have no idea it's not even possible a penny on your card usually credit card like it's not yeah
00:40:24
Brian Atlashe didn't have a credit card I guess not I don't know with I don't I don't understand that's very confusing to me I'm confused um all right uh so okay that's so um do you think men should put
00:40:36
Toiain more effort um it depending on I think they should date intentionally they should date intentionally date intentionally how what do you mean by that like just know what you want before you start
00:40:47
Toiadating if you like if you want to go out there and have fun go have fun like if you don't want to put in that much effort that's totally fine like you can have fun if you want to be in a relation relationship don't don't string people along put in the effort you know put
00:41:00
Brian Atlasyourself out there I just think dating intentionally are you dating intentionally uh right now I'm don't want to date so that's my intention is not dating not dating so if a someone
00:41:11
Brian Atlasthat you found attractive were to uh interact with you you would say not interested at all um if they were to ask that's that's that's yeah right now like
00:41:21
ToiaI don't want anything but I'm still open to like if a strapping austral MMA fighter um just was like hello love sorry
00:41:34
ToiaJake you know you're not going to nothing I'd flirt you know i' flirt I'd see what the Vibes were but like okay all right yeah okay I don't know all right what about you should men do you think men they don't put in enough
00:41:45
Katieeffort I don't think it's about putting in more effort or less effort it's about putting in the effort in the right places which then comes down to learning about Love Languages what what are the right places well that's different to
00:41:58
Katieeach person so when you know your love languages then that's where the effort needs to be put into so often you'd see men giving in what their love language is and saying like they they like to get
00:42:11
Katiegifts and they're going to give this woman all these gifts all these gifts all these gifts and say I'm putting in all this effort I'm doing all these things for you but if she doesn't care about material stuff and what she wants
00:42:21
Katieis just like time or to be talked to or like little things like that then to her she's not going to recept it and she's going to be like you're not doing anything for me and what is your love
00:42:32
Jakelanguage what what's the love language that you like to receive lots of them um have you had to whittle it down to your favorite VI aren't there only five I thought there
00:42:43
Katiewere five there's not there's I don't even buy the love language me too but there's there's a few there is more than the five I have looked into this I can't tell you off the top of my head like if
00:42:55
Katieyou had to say some of your faves so yeah what are your faves um I mean I do like gifts I will say that I do like gifts um and I know that so a good way to know your love languages are how you give to other people cuz that's what I'm
00:43:07
Katiesaying we learned the rainbow rule in school of treat others how you want to be treated that's not right let's treat others how they need to be treated so often we'd be I really like gifts right
00:43:18
Katieso I love Christmas and I love birthdays I love giving people presents and stuff and often I've run into situations where they're like oh like don't really care about birthdays I'm like but I do like I love it and that's where you realize
00:43:30
Katieit's like okay that's more about me than it is about them um I intellect there's see that's where it goes into the other one is like that there's intellect I really appreciate
00:43:41
Katiehaving a conversation I like a good debate not getting into an argument but able to have that debate back and forth um have other conversations and open mind so would you consider yourself more
00:43:53
Jakeon the left like liberal side of the of the thought I consider myself like out in space when it comes to all that I have idea cool cool so you're more of like a spiritual type that sort of thing right so you like men who are the
00:44:06
Katiespiritual type um [Music] um it's a hard question um because I've
00:44:15
Katiewas in a relationship with a spiritual guy and I think that a lot of men that are coming into spirituality are
00:44:26
Katienot ethically working with it in the right ways and they're just doing it for um like can't say on here so what
00:44:38
Katiethey're they're doing it for manipulation we'll say I think bested know that you don't want a spiritual gu to date one the whole the universe sort of if they're coming off like oh I know all this like come hang out with me and
00:44:52
Katiewe're spiritual in love and let me like massage on you like that's red flag that's like if they're going in and they're taking their time to not date and do their work and they'll talk about their emotions and they'll cry with you that's a spiritual guy that I'm
00:45:04
Katieinterested in spending more time with I mean what if they're like trying to do reiky Ricky rcky is not Hands-On huh Ricky is not Hands-On no but it's like they don't they do like this sure if you're certified in that and you're
00:45:17
Jakedoing that practice and it seems you me as somebody who might be into the spiritual realm a little bit yeah summonsing some things who believes wait who here believes in in
00:45:28
Brian Atlasastrology show of hands anybody really astrology we got one we got a maybe we got nothing astrology no astrology I would say I'm kind of spiritual but not into the
00:45:40
Brian Atlasastrologyy not okay all right more research more research I don't know you don't you can just say that's no no I just I don't know enough about I don't know enough about
00:45:51
Brian Atlasit I don't know enough about it about about astrology yeah about how like if you're a Taurus that that means like you are like bound to certain personality traits and behaviors and just based on
00:46:03
Brian Atlasthe alignment of the Stars which is the chak kind of dubious at best but it goes deeper than that though well give me a
00:46:11
Katie30 minute or sorry all right 30 30 seconds give me building the basic like the basic part of astrology so we are born with our zodiac sign that we all know the month that we're born in
00:46:24
Katiefor instance I'm born in June so I a Gemini right yeah um so that's our sun sign the wait you're a you're a Gemini I'm a Gemini okay go ahead
00:46:34
Katieum anyway so that is only one part of our being right and it goes even past these three but the first part is our big three so we have our sun sign our
00:46:44
Katiemoon sign and your rising sign and this would be so your sun sign is kind of like how you you're portrayed on the outside to other people to the world how they see you your moon moon sign is
00:46:56
Katiegoing to be about your emotions your sensuality how you kind of deal cope with things your relationships and then your rising sign is going to be like who you truly are to yourself going to be
00:47:08
Katielike the things that maybe no one else knows about you so when you're reading a horescope in the newspaper and we read our sun sign we might be like take it or leave it it might not really resonate but if you actually start reading your
00:47:19
Katierising sign it might resonate with you a little bit more and then that goes so much deeper into all the layers of it's like you have a Gemini but if you have a Gemini Taurus they're going
00:47:30
Katieto be different than a Gemini Pisces and so on and so on and yeah it could be way more than a half an hour talk so you could talk about astrology for more than a half hour a half hour yes yeah what's
00:47:41
Katiethe whole Rising thing like Jupiter Rising is that something yeah so each astrology sign can be a rising the rising is where um in the sky where the
00:47:52
Katiesun was in the hor like on the hor horiz Rison it was Rising on the
00:48:00
Katiemap yep okay so um Jake here is a Capricorn mhm that would explain why you are so busy in your work all the time Capricorns are all about working about
00:48:12
Katiedrive and that's why we get into um right now we're in a winter season which is about hibernating but we're in a Capricorn season which so we think that we need to make a goal and we need to make New Year's resolutions and drive drive drive when we're actually supposed
00:48:25
Katieto be hiber so we get all these people who then beat up on themselves and can't meet their goals Brian's a Libra what would you say about does that suit him I'm not too sure about Libras I know they're very generally liked by a lot of
00:48:37
Katiepeople they're outgoing they like to be like just Ecentric a little so I wouldn't really suit the Libra then I am not sure yeah cuz I'm a Libra yeah I am
00:48:49
Katieare you Libra I am so okay well if you want to get interest that's what I'm saying so that's all I just learned that that's our tropical and if you go into side that CH your
00:48:58
Brian AtlasIden that's more a whole thing okay uh so moving on um do you think men don't put in enough effort I think it depends
00:49:09
Lilyon the guy depends on the guy okay in general though I I've had guys who put an effort I had guys who didn't put an effort I'm telling you it depends on the person okay it it's who you are as a person at the end of the day what you
00:49:21
Lilyput do you put an effort in life do you put effort in everything you do if that's the case and you tend to have putting an effort in a relationship okay uh what about you um I think the majority of my past relationships I
00:49:33
Arianawould say they did not put in enough effort not enough effort okay yeah I mean I would say certain men definitely need to put in more effort definitely Queen I think efforts matter
00:49:45
Vanikaand last like my relationship all of the men made efforts and that's how it worked out I would say so for those of you who said that men aren't putting in
00:49:56
Toiaenough effort men should put in more effort H what does that look like dating intentionally just emotional intelligence being aware of what you
00:50:08
Kaylawant anything else I think it's a balance like the relationships that work out for me are when he and I both want to be there for each other in every single way and do things that make each
00:50:20
Brian Atlasother happy and just a point of clarification I'm talking more so during those very early stages when you're just meeting the first couple dates when it comes to effort obviously things can
00:50:32
Brian Atlastend to evolve and change once you're a bit further into a relationship but like for example one example of uh wanting a guy to make more effort and a complaint I've heard from a lot of women is a
00:50:44
Brian Atlastendency from some men to just text a girl at 11:00 p.m. what you do in WD uh you know not putting in a lot of effort perhaps to make a plan to actually here here meet me Friday 7:00
00:50:56
TTS Readerp.m. I'll pick you up that sort of thing that's a complaint I frequently hear from women um grid One Motorsports donated $200 the question then is how much
00:51:08
TTS Readereffort you put in what do you offer a man other than three usable holds an attitude why would a man worth having look at you twice okay thank you good one uh I was
00:51:19
Brian Atlaskind of getting to that but um so there there's these expectations on men to take initiative pay for the first date make the first move do
00:51:30
Brian AtlasXYZ that's my sense of what putting in the effort is in terms of the initial courtship stages so if men are expected to pay for first dats ask you out pick
00:51:40
Brian Atlasyou up open car doors get you flowers Etc what are women expected to do to build a relationship in the initial stages what's the effort that a woman
00:51:51
Kaylaputs in go ahead good communication showing feelings and like thankfulness gratefulness I mean good communication
00:52:02
Kaylait occurs to me that both parties it's not clear to me if that's yeah but a girl could totally be accepting all these things from a guy and then just kind of like oh he text I'll text later or you know it's kind of pushing him
00:52:14
Kaylaaway and getting the good stuff okay so the bare minimum yeah so you is what a girl should do no no if you like the guy and he's showing all of these amazing signs and how a man then you would you
00:52:27
Jakeknow I would accept it appreciatively so accepting the gift is how you put in effort is what you're saying yeah okay okay what about you I
00:52:36
Toiathink yeah like a lot of the times women especi like we want men to like put us into our feminine right we want the guy to be a little bit more dominant and
00:52:45
Toialike him making those plans and him showing that is like that's attractive and that's showing us that okay this is something like I also want to pursue like so again yeah like communicating with him without just I don't know
00:52:58
Toiaconnecting would you say that giving flowers on a first date is dominant and masculine oh it depends on the person like for me gift giving is not my love language so like I so we're in a bit of trouble here cuz damned if we do damned
00:53:10
Toiaif we don't it depends like for me it's like flowers I don't really care too much like it doesn't like okay maybe it's a nice touch but yeah that goes into what you
00:53:21
Brian Atlaslike I've actually heard from a couple previous uh women who've been on the show that uh they would actually punish that sort of thing oh yeah not all not all women but like some women would be like that's way too extra way too much
00:53:34
Brian Atlasuh up front initially they think he's kind of sing orely cuz I think a lot of girls don't want a guy to be doing all this extra way too soon it kind of I'd wait at least a few dates before I was to bring
00:53:46
Brian Atlasflowers or do anything perhaps on the wedding day unless you're in a different I think it's a good you know maybe a couple flowers in the West
00:53:57
Jakeifate Europe like were say buts will actually you for it unfortunately there's not much you can do about it have you had an experience with that I have what happened basically just like like we said it was years ago but just
00:54:11
Jakegiving flowers and then eventually you sort of realize as a guy that what you got taught in the movies in the notebook or whatever movies that the sort of inform out our relationships these days it's all wrong so then you have to sort
00:54:23
Jakeof adapt but it's it's easy to get sucked into that trap and that's why we have so many simps these days unfortunately it's very unfortunate the
00:54:32
Jakesimps can you explain we have a sidamic a simp simp is giving giving like affection and gifts and all this stuff like you guys just said and receiving nothing in return if you do that
00:54:44
Jakeconstantly then you're a s can I ask you a question what would you like to receive as a guy coming from a guy's perspective I want you to be a total s for me that's what I'd like I'd like you guys to be texting how are you good
00:54:57
Jakemorning text good good night text I think that's what we mean communication if that's what you meant by communication yeah then absolutely that's good but you want a girl because especially if you sleep with a girl you
00:55:08
Jakewant it to mean a lot to her because if it doesn't mean anything to her then it shows that she's kind of a hoe and she does that a lot so that's a problem so you want a girl to be a s and to be like really like invested in the fact that
00:55:19
Jakeyou guys are dating so that's one thing in terms of communication and especially if we're going to go to the stage where I'm giving you flowers I mean yeah the sing has to be there for
00:55:34
Lilysure girls get girls get rewarded for zing and guys get punished do you agree I think it depends on the early stages I think I've had experiences where guys um are a lot really early on
00:55:46
Lilyand it scares me off but then I also have the exact opposite where they're not doing enough so I think it's finding that perfect balance and I'm sure you can agree to on the woman's side too if you see a girl that's completely drowning for your ATT like attention it's probably not the biggest turn on
00:55:59
Jakethat's the thing though you have to not like drowning for it but just putting in the effort you know you want that because a lot of girls these days think I'm a boss bab I'm just going to like I don't need no man I'm not going to text him I'm going to but it's just it's just
00:56:10
Jakeunattractive we just don't like it we like a soft touch if I wanted someone who was going to be hard and compete with me and be masculine I'd just go hang out with the boys you know that's playing games it's just about yeah communicating being vulnerable with your