She Is "Traditional" BUT Has An ØF?! | Dating Talk #94
Date: 2023-08-28
Duration: 5h 20m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_00TTS Reader(audience)
SPEAKER_01TTS/Video Reader(audience)
SPEAKER_03Christy(guest)
SPEAKER_04Isaac Butterfield(guest)
SPEAKER_05Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_07Juan(guest)
SPEAKER_08Q(guest)
SPEAKER_09Monica(guest)
SPEAKER_10Madison(guest)
SPEAKER_11Alex Clark(guest)
SPEAKER_12Kelly(guest)
SPEAKER_13Christy(guest)
SPEAKER_14Isaac Butterfield(guest)
Key Moments
00:04:17
QuoteAlex Clark introduces herself as host of the Spillover Podcast and real Alex Clark on YouTube.
“I'm Alex I'm the host of the spillover podcast and also real Alex Clark on YouTube”
00:04:26
QuoteIsaac Butterfield introduces himself as Australian comedian, YouTuber, author and father. Has reacted to Whatever videos.
“my name is Isaac Butterfield I'm a comedian from Australia also a YouTuber an author and a father... you've reacted to a couple of our videos”
00:04:58
QuoteQ introduces himself as author of Amazon #1 new release "The QPO: Overdose of Reality" and certified Behavioral Sciences relationship coach.
“I'm the author of Amazon's number one newcoming book The QPO and overdose of reality the remedy for a cold world”
00:05:58
QuoteChristy reveals she went from single to DM-engaged between episodes. Was in talking stages with two men on Tuesday show, now engaged via DMs to a Republican ex she reconnected with through her Eskimo sister.
“I think I'm getting married... he proposed in the DMs... he's a Republican and he comes from a traditional family”
00:09:31
QuoteChristy says she would ghost her newly engaged fiance for Donald Trump if he proposed.
“Trump is Daddy... yeah if he proposed I would totally... I would ghost [my fiance] for that”
02:40:48
QuoteAlex Clark reveals she has dated 5 men in her 20s who were not ready for marriage; every one ended up proposing to the next woman after her, just slightly off in timing.
“the girl after me that they dated that's who they end up getting engaged to it's like they're just our timing is just slightly off where I'm ready and they're not”
03:57:06
OtherKelly leaves the show around the 3:56 mark to go home (has school). Brian says "another one bites the dust."
“another one bites the dust”
04:04:00
QuoteQ gives detailed biological argument for why body count matters: paternity uncertainty, STI risk, behavioral indicators, and the DRD4 gene associated with promiscuity affecting pair bonding.
“The first reason it matters is biologically evolutionarily paternity uncertainty... DRD4 gene... women who are promiscuous you naturally fall in a cycle”
04:06:08
QuoteAlex Clark challenges Q's argument by pointing out the double standard: Q won't have sex before marriage but contributes to women's body counts he then criticizes.
“everything you're saying is correct but you yourself are not willing to not have sex before marriage you're contributing to all these women”
04:31:24
QuoteChristy reveals her self-described body count of approximately 22, contextualizing it as "very low" given her opportunities as an OnlyFans model.
“my body count was like around 22... that is a very very low body count... compared to how many opportunities I have on a daily basis”
04:37:24
QuoteAlex Clark argues the red pill community fails people by not offering hope/redemption for those with high body counts, unlike Christian worldview.
“the red pill Community fails to offer guys is hope that there is redemption... through Christ that they're not going to get through the red pill Community”
05:00:00
OtherIsaac Butterfield left before the main show ended. Referenced at ~5:01 by Christy: "like what Isaac I know he's not here anymore."
“Isaac I know he's not here anymore but what he said about like it being your best friend”
Topics Discussed
00:00:00
Introductions & Show Announcements
Brian opens show from Santa Barbara CA, plugs StreamLabs/Twitch/merch/BLM nonprofit/clip channels. Guests introduce themselves: Christy (33yo OnlyFans model, newly DM-engaged), Monica (22yo hair/airport), Juan (36yo neurologist), Kelly (21yo Nordstrom stylist/student), Madison (18yo Whatever staff/SBCC), Alex Clark (30yo Spillover Podcast/YouTube), Isaac Butterfield (30yo Australian comedian/author), Q (30yo relationship coach/author).
00:05:58
Christy's DM Engagement Reveal
Christy was single on the previous Tuesday show but returns "engaged in the DMs" to a Republican ex. Was in talking stages with two men; reconnected with an ex through her Eskimo sister. Engagement proposed via DMs. He's a Republican from a traditional family, planning to move to Florida. Christy says she would still ghost him for Donald Trump. Chat reacts. Discussion of her engagement and timeline.
00:15:00
Relationship Status Round
Full table round on relationship statuses. Monica: 3-year relationship ("happily married"). Juan: 2-year relationship. Kelly: 1.5-year relationship. Madison: 1.5-year relationship. Alex Clark: single, 5 serious relationships in 20s all ended because men not ready for marriage. Isaac: married 1 year, together ~10 years, wife is best friend. Q: single, dates multiple women openly, has one primary woman.
00:20:00
Q's Non-Monogamous Dating Arrangement
Extended discussion of Q's dating lifestyle: transparent with all women about seeing multiple people, has one "main" woman (27yo) who is monogamous to him. His main woman stays because she sees potential. Discussion on consent, loyalty, whether his arrangement is ethical. Juan asks about time as finite resource. Alex pushes back on whether women can truly consent under emotional pressure. Q argues sexual vs resource loyalty are different. Brian asks if women prefer sharing a high-value man over a committed relationship with a less-desirable man.
01:00:00
Women Ending Relationships & Divorce Statistics
Discussion of who ends relationships more often. Brian estimates ~70/30 women end relationships. Alex: every serious relationship ended because man wasn't ready for marriage. Monica: ends things when she can't see a future. Q: before age 24 women ended things, after that he ended them. Isaac: ~50/50. Discussion of why women initiate ~80% of divorces — Alex attributes it to feminist culture telling women to look outside the home for fulfillment. Brian notes contradiction: women want commitment most, yet end relationships more often.
02:41:40
Red Flag Jobs / Career Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
Discussion of red flag careers in partners. Christy: garbage man not a red flag, wants a real estate developer. Alex: any attention-seeking career (politician, actor, singer) is red flag due to competition. Isaac: Uber Eats delivery driver as red flag. Kelly: military (too much time abroad). Madison: sex worker. Brian discusses nurses and infidelity statistics. Alex wants partner who can provide for family on his income alone, prefers stable/guaranteed income over commission jobs.
04:00:00
Body Count Debate + Video Reaction
Extended body count discussion prompted by a video from a woman arguing body count "isn't your business." Christy argues for ratio theory (opportunities taken vs offered). Q provides biological/evolutionary reasons body count matters: paternity uncertainty, STI risk, psychological indicators, pair bonding (DRD4 gene). Alex cites scripture about redemption outside red-pill framework. Discussion of why women more commonly initiate casual sex without orgasming. Brian argues body count is proxy for promiscuity and tape adhesion analogy for pair bonding. Panel reacts to the video: Monica disagrees with leaving if asked, Juan neutral, Q strongly disagrees with video's argument.
04:55:00
Partner Preferences / Type Discussions
After-show segment on types. Q: fit, substance/intellectual curiosity. Alex: brunette bearded Eastern European/Middle Eastern type, full head of hair. Monica: beard, fit, adventurous. Juan: articulate, adventurous, traveler, fit, beard, 5'9"+. Christy: sense of humor, conservative/Republican, long hair on a man. Madison: comfort, best friend quality, someone she's excited to come home to. Brian: short women (little person preferred), dark hair, blue eyes slight preference, no plastic surgery/makeup/fake nails, plays violin or cello. Discussion of superficiality differences between men/women.
Transcript
Page 1 of 6
00:00:00
Brian Atlasand we are live welcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live
00:00:10
Brian Atlasfrom Santa Barbara California every Sunday and Tuesday now at 5 p.m Pacific 8 P.M Eastern I'm your host Brian Atlas I'm joined by my co-host
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00:02:06
Brian Atlasthe chat who are professional Roasters I already know I'm going yeah okay you're I don't I don't want to but I already know it's coming it's coming one thing we want to do in the maybe I don't know if anybody familiar with Reddit
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Brian Atlasthere's this subreddit called roast me and we could submit people for roasting anyways we'll do it we'll do another show what could they possibly roast you a bit oh nothing absolutely uh guys if you
00:02:31
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00:02:43
Christyoccupation go ahead hi hi I'm Christy I'm 33 years old and I'm an only fans model
00:02:51
MonicaI'm Monica I am 22. I do hair and I'm in Airport customer service you're a hair stylist yeah are we hair stylist oh you cut hair are
00:03:03
Brian Atlasyou a barber no what what do you mean like like a braid hair I do wigs oh okay yeah so you don't cut hair no okay because I know people who cut hair that's that's
00:03:14
Juankind of a red flag no I don't okay okay all right hi my name is Juan I'm 36 and I am a physician specifically a neurologist
00:03:24
Kellyyou're an MD is that correct I am uh and uh you said you're a neurologist I am that's right all right rock and roll hi I'm Kelly I'm 21 and I'm a personal
00:03:36
Kellystylist and I also do content creation through Nordstrom and I'm currently also a student you do content creation through Nordstrom okay
00:03:46
Kellylike you post to their Pages or um so I have my manager yes I have my own page where they'll use my content on their own pages and then I also do styling
00:03:57
Madisonvideos for the website okay cool yeah hello my name is Madison I am 18 years old I work for the Brian Atlas what the
00:04:06
Brian Atlasoh I okay well normally you say whatever podcast so I guess I decided to change it up um I'm a host at a bar as well as a student at Santa Barbara City
00:04:17
Alex ClarkCollege setting business okay cool I'm Alex I'm the host of the spillover podcast and also real Alex Clark on YouTube
00:04:26
Isaac Butterfielddid you say age oh and I'm 30. 30 okay I'm also 30. my name is Isaac Butterfield I'm a comedian from Australia also a YouTuber an author and a father
00:04:37
Isaac Butterfieldyeah great and you've reacted to a couple of our videos oh thank you brother I was really hoping uh Al Weezy would be in here today but
00:04:47
Isaac Butterfieldnext time next time I will make the flight back just for Al perfect we'll uh we'll make it happen put me next to her please three times a charm I'm the cute pill
00:04:58
Quh Behavioral Sciences certified relationship coach also author of YouTube um I say YouTube I'm the author of Amazon's number one newcoming book The qpo and overdose of reality the remedy
00:05:09
Qfor a cold world and I do content creation as well I'm a YouTuber anti-political correct anti-politically correct I'm also 30 years old the 30
00:05:20
Brian Atlascorner it's a 30 Corner the old corner there you go all right great so we're gonna go around the table one more time so what is your current relationship status are you single talking Sage
00:05:32
Brian Atlassituationship Friends with Benefits relationship married polycule sex cult uh if you're single how long have you been single and what's your longest relationship go ahead relationship is
00:05:48
Christygo um and I got engaged in the DMS from my ex a different EX one of my exes so I think I'm I think we're getting married wait hold on hold on hold on
00:06:01
Christyyou were okay you were on the last show you were here on Tuesday yeah I know a lot you were single yeah I know and now you're engaged to yourself boyfriend well yeah we got engaged in the DMS
00:06:12
Christyanywhere he proposed an idea he's a Republican and he comes from a traditional family which I know No One Believes I can get
00:06:21
Christyum but yeah so I had to stay here a lot longer I didn't expect to be here so um one of the only people I knew in La was my Eskimo sister and uh RX we like I
00:06:33
Christykeep in touch with him anyway and I asked him why he's not a dad and he asked me if he could make me a mom and I said it depends where we live and he said Florida so I said do I have to change my relationship status for the
00:06:45
Christypodcast and he thought it'd be a good idea and I asked him if this was a marriage proposal and he said it was so we're planning a life together wait so okay a couple points of clarification you're you said your longest
00:06:57
Christyrelationship with three years is this the x that you're not engaged to no no oh so actually this x i he kind of called me out like the other night because I ghosted him to get into the
00:07:10
Brian Atlasthree-year relationship and then when we broke up we started talking again so why uh so what well the last time you were on the show you said you were in
00:07:22
Brian Atlasthe talking stage with a couple people correct uh how many prior to this engagement how many talking stages were you in you said there's a few yeah like I was talking to
00:07:33
Brian Atlasdifferent guys that live in oh just two there's a few more wasn't there well like two two main contenders two main okay so we had two main pieces I guess
00:07:44
Christyyeah two like me and like how many side pieces did you have I mean I don't know do my fans count because
00:07:58
ChristyI didn't expect him to want to Mom me up so um that kind of came out of the blue I do talk to him a lot but I think it was the fact that I was hanging out with my
00:08:09
ChristyEskimo sister uh that I even asked him about the kids thing and then you know things just escalated from there there's a lot going on yeah wait yeah yeah that's a lot so are you playing I'm still over to proposal in the DM yeah so
00:08:22
Christyas long as he moves to Florida like he says yes we will be having that's good kids in a traditional household wait so he's did he see you on the podcast and that that's what
00:08:33
Christyhe um we we talk in the DMs like we talk we keep in touch a lot um but he did react to like um a story okay and then I was gonna hit him up since I was like with my Eskimo
00:08:45
Christysister anyway and we were like we're just confused why you're not a dad by now because like he's kind of in the public eye so like I'm sure he has a lot
00:08:55
Brian Atlasof opportunities and um Nick can you pull up that photo you know the photo of the guy I think I know who this might be Nick you know which photo to pull up do
00:09:07
Christyit's not the it's not the website it's the photo so you're not single yeah you got a Nick I'm barely engaged but I'm waiting I'm waiting to look there's only one photo
00:09:19
Christydon't say that yes marriage proposal I specifically asked is it this guy oh probably like I don't want him to like cheat on Melania or anything but like he wouldn't
00:09:33
Christydo that um but yeah if he proposed I would totally Trump is Daddy so yeah I would um I would I would ghost try that for a
00:09:45
Brian Atlassecond time to be honest wait hold on you you would ghost the guy who you're now engaged to for Donald Trump yeah oh yeah oh yeah what is it about Trump what
00:09:54
Alex Clarkis it about Trump everything I think like it's the way he eats off he's got rizz
00:10:03
Kellyno one can deny that whether you're on the right or the left um what is Rhys what is Eskimos distance where am I welcome there's like two girls who have hooked
00:10:14
Christyup with the same guy all like oh or like you've kissed the same guy so wrong we found out after the fact we actually found out at a wedding shower our mutual friends like by the way you both
00:10:25
Christyum yeah G's twins yeah sick but then we ended off because we love Trump so much and then we had like the guy in common now we became friends I'm just curious
00:10:36
Brian Atlashow in a less than the seven day period you went from being having multiple talking stages multiple situation ships to not being engaged okay I don't know
00:10:48
Christylike why did you say yes what why'd you say Yes um because well I mean he's asked he's told me he's wanted to date me before this isn't like anything new so you're gonna marry someone wait
00:11:00
KellyI I'm waiting to leave what's the ring on it but like why would you say but even if he puts a ring on it I mean I like him how old are you 33 um that's not nothing I like the way you use
00:11:12
Christyquotes though well yeah there's a lot of quotes going yeah exactly who are you quoting I'm just saying like you never know if it's gonna happen but not we had a
00:11:24
Christyconversation and it definitely might not happen after this well that's why I'm doing the quotes but what does power mean pretty fast here um powers in the palm of my hand can you show it to this camera right here others like power
00:11:35
Christyhandjobs or something well that's why it's faded to be honestly it used to just be like really black and dark and there was no holes in the
00:11:45
Qmiddle of it so you got it got faded from handjobs yeah
00:11:52
Alex Clarkthese 33 tracks you being 33 tracks apparently I don't know I don't know what that said Mr meatball can you what do you mean can you elaborate on that one because it means it makes sense it means it makes
00:12:03
Christysense that he's 33 but I mean what he's referring to I don't know all right well uh do you think he'd be upset by the poll you would Donald Trump thing yeah he's
00:12:16
Christybeen seeing my Ig stories from the start um he knows my love for Trump we both we both love him but he doesn't love him do you think he would do you think your now fiance would call off the engagement if
00:12:27
Monicahe could get with Trump no no no no no no okay he doesn't go that no okay all right uh what about you um I'm in a relationship I've been in a relationship three years we just hit our
00:12:39
Monicathree year anniversary last month um I like to say I'm happily married I do plan on getting married to him so wait so are you engaged or no
00:12:52
Monicalike that's my little if people ask like oh are you in it yeah that's my quotes who are like oh you're an early I'm happily married but you're not but I'm not but I'm not
00:13:03
Brian Atlasokay but it's the clothes it's the clothes it's fine okay your wife yeah okay okay gotcha uh and is this your longest
00:13:15
Juanrelationship yeah okay what about you I'm in a relationship for about two years and my longest relationship is about two and a half all right I've been a relationship for a
00:13:27
Madisonlittle bit over a year and a half and it's my longest one all right I'm very happily in a committed a relationship and this is my longest relationship it's been 11 months almost a year
00:13:40
Alex ClarkI just want to say prove you all wrong because y'all thought I was gonna only be in it for 10 10 months okay she has proved everyone wrong go ahead uh I'm single I've been single for a little over a year and my longest
00:13:52
Isaac Butterfieldrelationship is a year and a half okay I have been married for a year we've been together for the best part of a decade been together for a decade okay yeah
00:14:03
Isaac Butterfieldshe's uh she's the funniest human I know so that's uh does she also make uh YouTube yeah we've got a YouTube channel together little batsman and we have a podcast together the mum and dad show where we have our son Atticus on we don't show his face that much because
00:14:16
Isaac Butterfieldpeople in the comment section are weird they try to diagnose people with like there's a few YouTubers she watches where they'll have like their son or their daughter and they go oh I think that's definitely autism there they're in the comment section and whatnot so
00:14:28
Isaac Butterfieldit's uh we sort of just hide his face or hold him towards us that type of thing but she's hilarious she could have she could easily be a comedian um okay but uh yeah she's a lovely human gotcha and
00:14:40
QQ what what about you I'm currently single unmarried that's what that means um okay I'm enjoying the bachelor life right now okay and I'm ready to settle down I probably will maybe in another
00:14:52
Brian Atlastwo years or so okay do you have uh any girls in any girls in the picture a couple girls one girl what yeah all of the above all of the above okay all the above okay I got
00:15:04
Brian Atlasoptions and uh so you uh what's your longest relationship you've had uh my longest relationship was three years three years yeah three years okay three years and you so you've got like
00:15:15
Brian Atlasuh like a harem basically I don't want to say a harem oh okay I don't yeah but you do you do but you don't want to say yeah okay you know okay you're handsome guy so I mean you know I don't it's yeah
00:15:27
Qdid I hear him or is it a roster it probably would more be a roster if we're being honest um but there is a lady who takes the cake there's a you have a main main girl
00:15:39
Qyeah if I settle down it's definitely gonna be with her you know she she leaving the rest of the girls in the dust right now so gotcha but she she knows that you see other women too uh yes I always communicate up front with
00:15:50
Qthe women that I date that um dating multiple women until I decide that one is sufficient enough that I can put all my eggs in that basket sure until they show me that I
00:16:01
Qcan put all my eggs in that basket and how do you keep up with so many um I don't it's hard I don't I don't yeah they kind of what they do is I'll talk to one here one there we'll hang
00:16:14
Qout we'll do whatever then I let them go in the wind then just you know when they pop back up I'll be like oh you want to do this you want to go here maybe like sure you know I would love to and I'm like okay I think girls like that yeah
00:16:25
Qso I never had that when I was yeah I was super desperate I was just like please and I'm on my male Mission so I'm on my mission in life to become who I want to become so until I I'm happy with myself fully then I can't fully give
00:16:38
Qmyself to a woman until I'm content with where I'm at so they kind of have to wait it out so if they just happen to date somebody else [Music] fdg thank you for the uh 50 gifted uh
00:16:51
Qmemberships really appreciate it man does that trigger a fit check I don't know uh go ahead with your point though oh I was just saying um as I'm on my journey to figure out who I am if they end up dating somebody else and I'll tell them if you want to date somebody
00:17:03
Qelse go ahead date somebody else I'll see you when I see you okay and the one who's sticking around that'll be the one that I marry what qualities does that one girl have that doesn't compare to
00:17:13
Qthe others oh commitment and loyalty respect like even even when it's the most difficult of times she's still there she pick up the phone when I call um when I'm hurt I can count on her to
00:17:25
Qgive me a massage stretch me cook me dinner when I need dinner she does pretty much everything she's there it's loyalty go both ways or is it just kind of one-sided oh it depends on it it depends on the type of loyalty you you talking
00:17:38
Qabout because for women women are typically sexually loyal whereas a man we're loyal who we invest our time in so she gets more time than any other woman would get lucky her yeah we do more things together than any other woman so
00:17:51
Qif I want to be vulnerable I feel I can be vulnerable with her I don't necessarily feel that I can be vulnerable open up to other women but she knows that you are like it's actually active with other people yep okay and and even then it's seeing how
00:18:04
Qshe responds to the situation see I don't actually just go out and actively so it's a test not a test but it's so she doesn't feel betrayed so it's like if I do this know that I probably would do it if the opportunity presents itself
00:18:17
Qbut I'm not going out there hunting like I'm not approaching women day in and day out like I'm trying to talk to you I'm trying to you know I'm not doing that but if I go somewhere because I travel and things like that if a woman pops up she may come back to the hotel room she
00:18:29
Qmay not is she okay with that and does she know that that's a possibility that might happen uh yeah actually no now yeah yeah I wouldn't put her on a spot like that if she did yeah she knew before she knew before plan life thank you for the uh
00:18:42
Isaac Butterfieldwould you sign into the membership sorry wrong oh God would you say that she's your best friend yeah I think that's the number one thing with the person you end up with that's that's what it be if you can grow old with that person if you're happy to look
00:18:54
Isaac Butterfieldat them when they're sitting there in a diaper when they're 80 90 years old and still they make you laugh they make you happy that's your person yeah so just to clarify the Loyalty part it sounds like how you interpret loyalty from one way
00:19:06
Qis different from loyalty the other way because it's demonstrated in different ways behaviorally between men and women yeah yeah as I said so women like I said I can tell a woman you free to do whatever but if that woman doesn't want
00:19:18
Qto do it she just made her choice she doesn't want to do it and why she doesn't want to do it she's attached she's committed she wants to see what happens between us what comes between us you know what develops between us me on
00:19:30
Qthe other hand like I said it's with my resources where my time spent where my pockets go so that's typically how I show loyalty outside of sexual loyalty do you think that your attention to like
00:19:40
Brian Atlasother women say though interferes with your investment in this one girl no how many um side side girls do you have how many side girls side pieces
00:19:54
Qum maybe only about four full yeah maybe maybe only about four you can't have four maybe only about four you know there's a
00:20:07
Juanlimit there's dudes out there desperately trying to find love and you're in here hugging everyone awesome disgraceful so I hear what you're saying that you know what I'm sorry what you want and maybe what your partners want are a little bit different so hence you
00:20:20
Juanto find loyalty a little bit differently I guess with um ethical non-monogamy which it sounds like what you're doing a question that often comes up for me is that time time is a finite resource right so if you're spending time with
00:20:32
Juanone you can't spend as much time with someone else so how do you sort of um how do you sort of think about that with time being such a finite resource well I'm actually a relationship guy like I like being in a relationship I
00:20:44
Brian Atlaslike being committed to one woman but as I said it's one of those things it's it's it sounds complex yo fdg thank you for the gifted 50 memberships thank you very much it
00:20:56
Qsounds complex but I've been navigating it really well and this has been going on probably since 2016. um with just me well I wasn't a relationship in 2018 I was in a relationship for a year was committed
00:21:07
Qmonogamous had no issues there um but as I said as I'm on my journey trying to obtain everything I'm trying to obtain with this newfound going viral and blowing up here and on YouTube and
00:21:19
Qeverything just traveling doing different podcasts I see a different side of life and I'm not ready to settle down yet so it's kind of if you want to stick with me through this this journey
00:21:31
Qas I gain more finances as I gain more resources then I'm going to remember that and when it's time for me to settle down I do have that one girl in mind that I want to settle down with so it's kind of like I'm not going to stop
00:21:44
Brian Atlasdealing with women just because I'm by myself is it is it that you you love women so much yes you need more than one yes yes there you go yes
00:21:55
Kellysettle down now if she asked me to settle down now would I say no um no probably not probably not because because you risk
00:22:05
Kellylosing her for not not waiting I mean you'd risk losing her yeah you can to get where I need to be yeah yep okay and I guess sometimes like depending on
00:22:18
Isaac Butterfieldwhat you're doing in life and where you're going sometimes you can't take everybody with you right so you have to but also in saying that sometimes you've got to make sacrifices right so if you see that this is a very important part of your life to be with this person that
00:22:30
Isaac Butterfieldyou love then perhaps you need to find a different way to approach how you're creating content traveling all these type of things like for me for example my wife when I just started out in
00:22:40
Isaac Butterfieldcomedy she was working okay plan life thank you for the 50 gifts go ahead Isaac listen just thank you yeah I know there yeah when she was working normal jobs all
00:22:52
Isaac Butterfieldthat type of stuff and I'd be away but I made it so I only went away from Thursday Friday and Saturday and I was always back for the week so we'd be there we'd be together and we'd spend that time together it cost me more money to travel and all those different types of things but that was the sacrifice
00:23:05
Isaac Butterfieldthat needed to be made at that point in our lives and you know from that from other sort of sacrifices we made we now travel together everywhere I think that's the important thing is like you've got to see who will come with you
00:23:16
Isaac Butterfieldon the journey but sometimes you need to sort of change your approach to the relationship to make sure that they are able to come with you on the journey right I got a question for you yeah are all your girls and like your main
00:23:28
Brian Atlasgirl did you say you had there's one main girl or there's like was it two main girls or just no no no no no one main girl and then four side girls and then maybe there's some other girls that come and go um no I mean the four that are my size
00:23:41
Qthey like come and go so that's what I'm saying like I don't I don't look for them I don't search for them if they hit me up like hey I'm trying to link I'm like I'm cool with that you know I don't go looking for them okay yeah I don't say I don't say yo I need you to come
00:23:53
Qover I want to see you they don't get that from me most of the time it's the only one who gets that from you is the one that I talk to on a consistent basis are they all including your side girl all loyal to you I have no idea honestly
00:24:05
Qwell hopefully they're not going to be after seeing this I have no idea I assume they aren't I assume even your main girl no no definitely not her I know she's I know she's loyalty she's
00:24:17
Qloyal does the mean girl when watching this no she's the main girl or or the other four things no no she knows she knows and she knows that she'll probably be
00:24:30
Qthe one that I marry to the four know that they're not that mean at all they can't they couldn't be there's no way they could assume that we don't we don't hang out enough we don't
00:24:40
Monicado enough we don't see each other sorry so you just told her like you wouldn't if she was to say like Drop
00:24:50
Monicaeverybody drop by yourself I'm sorry yo fdg thank you for the gifted 50. we'll get the check in a second he just said like if she was to say drop everybody for me you just said you wouldn't do it but you're saying like
00:25:02
Qbut you also say you like being in a relationship so I'm kind of I just need a little bit of clarity like I'm trying to figure out it's when I'm ready so if she asked me to and I'm not ready I'm
00:25:13
Qnot going to once I'm ready if she wants to come along with that then that's when it'll be on my terms basically it'll be on my terms it's that simple okay and there's nothing you can do about it some people just stand for Dicken yeah
00:25:28
Qthat's that's the difference when she asked me that she said if she wants it and it's like she doesn't determine that I'll I'll get keep my commitment okay so the gatekeeping of
00:25:40
Alex Clarkcommitment let me just say this as somebody who is uh dating for marriage and has been since probably I was 18. I mean my entire life I feel like I encounter that more often and my friends
00:25:52
Alex Clarkand I are women who are looking to get married and it's guys that give BS answers like that it's not the women who are out here like I feel like the chat makes it seem like they're all women are like those and nobody wants to settle down or get married or live a
00:26:04
Alex Clarktraditional life right I encounter way more men like that with that mindset than the opposite wait you encounter way more men basically like men who are like I like you know I'll be ready when I'm ready
00:26:16
TTS Readereven though I'm 30 years old like I don't want to get married 100 no box of cognitive dissonance coming from this guy do you have a response to Mr meeple loss of cognitive
00:26:28
Qbusiness oh yeah I mean I would I wouldn't completely deny that it's cognitive business because as I pointed out I'm naturally a relationship guy so this is kind of the route that I'm taking to ensure that I'm comfortable with myself
00:26:40
QAlex but as I said I'm not going to stop dating women just because you know um you did find like one in a thousand of girls you know though like you found
00:26:51
Madisona really great woman and are you willing to risk that no I'm holding on to her
00:27:00
KellyI want to get married I want to be with you and I only want to be with you I've been loyal to you but I don't want you to see other people I don't want you to see other women right well I'll give you an example I'll give you an example we
00:27:11
Qhad a conversation recently right and I asked her if she felt that she deserved commitment because essentially when we first started dating it was just us too I was monogamous I was exclusive and she
00:27:23
Qwas sabotaging she wasn't sure she was insecure she wasn't sure if this uh what she wanted so I told her I said well if you're going to sabotage then I'm going to date other people see I didn't disclose that to y'all it started off
00:27:34
QRocky so I said I'm gonna date other people because you don't know if you actually want this so when I communicated that to her and I went on about my business she popped back up like no I do want this I'm going to try
00:27:45
Qand I said no I'm I'm I want to date other people if you want to stick around and wait to see you know that was that's that's what happened so I didn't start off that way how long
00:27:56
Qhave you guys like been talking it's been almost three years okay yeah it's been almost three years that's what I'm saying how old is she she's been here she's 26. to get out she's she's been
00:28:06
Alex Clarkright she's she's not going anywhere because he's 30 and he he's still like I don't know what I want I'm not ready to settle down and she's getting close to that age where she's she's got to figure that out I know she's wasting time she could find a guy that wants to be
00:28:19
Qmarried yeah but see other guys ain't as dope as me so difficult that's what yeah you forget that yeah so you all forget that we're aware when girls don't want to date other guys we're aware when we're we're him the cream of the crop
00:28:31
Qfor them so if she's willing to wait it's because she feels that she can't find better and maybe she can but I'm willing to bet she can thank you I don't think it's always that she can't find
00:28:43
Monicabetter I think most of the time us as women we look at your potential so most of the time we're staying around because we see potential that you're gonna get with us you're gonna get it over yourselves see what you
00:28:55
Monicareally have and then come back to us so I think that's what it is more than we can't find anybody better because like if we was to go out on the street right now we can find somebody like that's not you can find a whole bunch that's what
00:29:07
MonicaI'm saying like we can find somebody so it's nice we can't find better it's just saying like we want you we want that potential but you're not giving us that potential so we're trying to hold on as
00:29:18
Qlong as we can until you give us that potential no the potential is the reason that you stay yeah and if you see progress if you see so if you're if your boyfriend says look babe I want to do this I want to accomplish this I want to accomplish this and you see him
00:29:31
Qaccomplishing breadcrumb you see him getting bread crumbs to where he's trying to get that's going to make you even feel better that's gonna make you feel more better right because you're working towards it exactly you see it
00:29:40
Monicayou like oh my God what you're saying is she she wants you you're telling her nah it's okay I'ma go find my other options if you want to stay you can stay so
00:29:52
Brian Atlasshe's staying in the hopes that you're going to come back to her that's her choice she's like messed up but that's our choice though Q isn't it the case that
00:30:03
Brian Atlasa lot of women would rather be with like a really quality guy and share him absolutely than be in a relationship absolutely with a guy that they don't respect and
00:30:14
Brian Atlasso that's weak or whatever absolutely share their man though a lot of them if the guy is high status enough I think a lot of women would be prepared to share him absolutely really I mean women who
00:30:26
Qare loyal and community congestion it doesn't have to be Financial it doesn't it can be it can it can be a myriad of things it doesn't have to be Financial it could be Financial it can be the way he looks the way he makes her
00:30:37
Qfeel the way she feels about him it's it's a different it's different elements that go into it it's not a one size fits-all type ordeal it's multiple things and it sounds like if You observe a lot of men If You observe a lot of men
00:30:49
Qwho are high status or high quality they date multiple women and as long as they're open and honest some of those women are willing to accept that okay can I just ask something if you you know that she knows all of
00:31:01
Alex Clarkthis about you and she's still willing to be with you wouldn't that make you question her intelligence and then therefore wouldn't that make her less attractive to you not necessarily because what you're
00:31:13
Qmissing is y'all are talking about my main and the reason that I acknowledge she's my man so I'm well aware of the loyalty and commitment that she's shown which is why I'm saying when I'm ready to settle down she's at the Forefront of
00:31:25
Qmy mind but it's a matter of me being willing to settle down I want to make sure I can take care of her I want to make sure I can provide for her I want to make sure I can provide for our family and you don't want to cheat on her when you're married yeah and and and that won't happen like I've never
00:31:38
Alex Clarkcheated I've never cheated I've never committed infidelity so yeah how are you going to reach that Elite status of being able to provide for her and take care of her if you're spending all your money on all these side chicks who said I was spending all my money I just said it
00:31:50
Qliterally just said I only use the best resources in one girl okay yeah so she's the only girl so that's what I said when you asked about loyalty I said there's sexual loyalty and then with men how we
00:32:03
Qshow loyalty that's who we invest our time energy effort resources and finances in too so she gets way more than that you don't see me out on dates with side chicks I'll take her out anywhere I'll go on vacation with her
00:32:16
Juananyway and it sounds like you would prefer her not to sleep with other people or that might even be a deal breaker for you is that right absolutely because she can't do it I know if she sleeps with another guy I've lost her so I actually don't disagree with you as
00:32:28
Juanfar as the consent part of it which is that if she consents to you being with other people and consents to her being the monogamous to you I don't think there's anything wrong with that if it's a mutually consensual relationship between two people you don't always have
00:32:41
Juanto have the same rules for each other and that can go either way for for anything right um the only concern I would have I guess is is she staying with you out of insecurity and if she doesn't have all her things together because it sounds
00:32:54
Juanlike at the beginning when you left she was like correct me if I'm wrong if I'm getting the details wrong but it sounds like you left and then she's like no no I want you back and I'm willing to put up with you being with other people because I like you so much so that gives
00:33:07
Juanme the vibe of someone who's a little bit insecure and maybe a little bit unsure of other partners that she can find um she's insecure yeah
00:33:16
QI reinforce I reinforce her ability to get other men though thank you ftg I reinforce her I positively affirm her ability to get other men so just just
00:33:27
Juanfinish my thoughts sorry so to finish my thoughts so I guess what I would be concerned about is if she is coming from a place where she doesn't feel that she
00:33:37
Juanis whole and does not need your help to reaffirm her can can she truly consent in that in that case so you know that would be something to consider you said does she feel does she can you repeat
00:33:48
Juanthat yeah so in the situation where she is feeling like she needs other resources for validation such as herself or other things in that case can she truly consent to you being with other partners because is she fully aware of
00:34:01
Qall the repercussions that that will have on her I am full I am not aware of how she feels with that in that regard but we haven't talked about it I mean we we we open and honest but a lot of the things
00:34:14
Qthat I say look I said at the end of the day it's your decision if you want to be with another guy and I've communicated this to her if I say you'll make a great wife whether it's for me or another guy if you don't want to wait on me you don't have to wait on me all of these things have been communicated so I hear
00:34:27
Brian Atlaswhat you're saying because you're you're talking a lot about consent but however there's consent and then there's informed consent what do you I I don't know where the consent that's what I'm trying to figure out what what does that have to do
00:34:49
Brian Atlasmaybe your main chick was only saying that just because she's scared to lose you wait but okay he's like agreeing to them let her know I don't see how consent comes he was upfront with her he's not like she he's not going behind
00:35:02
Monicaus meaning like she knows what's going on she's willingly doing it because I told her though right yeah like she knows what's going on yeah do you sorry I'm
00:35:14
Juanjust so what's the what's the question so one one thing that kind of happens in the ethical non-monogamy community and maybe this doesn't apply to you but there's kind of like the don't ask don't tell so maybe you know that your partner is out there doing other things but you
00:35:26
Juanwould rather not know the details and in that case you know it's sort of a gray area because it's like you know it's happening but what is the reason that you don't want to know how many other partners they have you know even considerations about safe sex and
00:35:39
Juanprotection and things like that those are our relevant things right so if you don't have those things laid out on the table you can sense sort of on The Superficial level but there's not deeper informed consent with all the information in front of you so that's
00:35:50
Isaac Butterfieldkind of the only thing I bring up the ethical non-monogamous community and that that's yeah
00:36:06
Qdo you mean like okay say for example STI tests like you know if I've been with somebody else or whatever I'll take an STi test to make sure you know what
00:36:17
JuanI'm saying I'm clearing she's good like is that what you mean so that's part of it so the STI part is sort of the physical health part of it there's also sort of the emotional repercussion part of it and so that's a little bit of a
00:36:29
Juangray area because you can make the argument well we've sort of talked a little bit about you know babe how would you feel if I slept with another person or I had four other side chicks um so it's a little bit of a gray area as far as how much you've talked about
00:36:42
Juanit and how much of that is enough or like what is considered informed um but sort of the opposite extreme of that is the don't ask don't tell where it's like I sort of know this happening but I don't want to know anything about
00:36:54
Juanit in that case what I would ask is you know are we really kind of considering your own emotional health in being able to say against the situation are you suggesting that there's an assault
00:37:05
Brian Atlasoccurring because there's not you're you're suggesting that there's no assault is that what you said huh yeah no but but he he's already stated that he's he's told her and he's on a podcast
00:37:17
Brian Atlasin front of thousands of people watching I assume they've had a conversation that I mean he's pretty open about it here on the podcast I assume they've had the conversation that yeah understanding I mean you guys are
00:37:30
Qtrying to you guys are trying to get an understanding that you don't have but we have that understanding because we've had these conversations so it's not like I'm in an official relationship these are women that I'm dating so I'm so I date multiple women I'm not in a
00:37:42
Qcommitted relationship to anybody so she knows that you're dating other people yes exactly so I'm dating other so I'm dating other women and what I'm saying is I take the most interest in her because I've been dating her the longest
00:37:56
Qand we've developed the strongest relationship out of all the women that I've been dating so does that clarify a lot more she's your fave she's my favorite yes like I said I don't think anything you're doing is considered like
00:38:09
Juanuh like crossing a boundary because clearly you've shared what you're doing with her all I'm trying to express is that there are sort of gradations on how you can you can do it and kind of the more you share and the more you you guys
00:38:22
Juancan kind of work through the repercussions of what you're doing the healthier relationship that can lead to even if in the future you decide to close relationship and become monogamous so from from what I've seen right so there's different gradations of how you
00:38:34
Qcan do it as as long as you two are both consenting I don't see anything wrong oh yeah I'm transparent about everything I try to be transparent about everything so that nobody's left to wonder nobody's left to make assumptions and negative to
00:38:46
Qwhere you know they feel overwhelmed with anxiety or they feel depressed or you know I don't want to break anyone's heart you know I give everybody the benefit of the doubt I'm open transparent honest about what I'm doing what my intentions are and at the end of
00:39:00
Brian Atlasthe day I just take it one day at a time though I really hope you pursue her that's but like I hope it works out but who here it seems like a lot of the
00:39:10
Brian Atlasgirls here object to the fact that he's he's open with his Partners about this but you object to the fact that he's seeing multiple women that's what happened I don't I wouldn't say I object I just y'all have a pretty
00:39:22
Monicaneither I don't like the dynamic well on one end I'm sorry I went in he's saying like I'm free to do whatever I want with these women you know
00:39:33
Qand that's how it's going to be but if you were to do it it's just a no-go for me but doesn't that come down to me understanding the differences between men and women I do it because I can do it as I said if she does it I've lost
00:39:44
Monicaher because she wouldn't even do something does that make it right it's not about right it's not about right now it doesn't mean I should do it I don't think you would necessarily it's
00:39:55
Monicanot about right away I think it would be it would be like her saying oh you got all these other people on one side I'm just doing it because you doing it but do you know her though
00:40:08
QI don't know her you don't know her I know her so I'm telling you if she were to do it based on how I know her her behavioral Tendencies her attitude the way that she thinks how selective she is how how
00:40:21
Qum secretive she is with her body if she were to do it that means she really liked the guy that means she like that guy more than me I lost it so that's what I'm saying
00:40:33
QQ what is your ratio of women how many women approach me versus how many women I actually accept oh my ratio is similar to raspies I get approached
00:40:45
Qby a lot of women and I turn down a lot of sex honestly yeah I feel you I turned down a lot of sex my DMs my DM is full of thousands of women and a lot of the times I just ignore it thousands yes
00:40:57
Juanstop fogging the women about your questions so another way to look at that couldn't you also say that she has the freedom to leave if he isn't giving her what you want which what she wants and she could look for a guy who is more
00:41:09
Qwilling to be monogamous to her yes she could she just didn't choose to but if she made her decision do we live together yeah not anymore we did okay so we did it we did at one
00:41:20
Qpoint and when we did I didn't even see other women well the thing is even though we weren't committed in a relationship I still didn't see other women out of respect for the fact that we lived together go ahead Kelly I'm just saying that can
00:41:32
KellyI don't I don't see the problem with you um you know seeing other women just because of the fact that you are transparent with her which is automatically it's in her hands so if she chooses not to go see other people
00:41:43
Kellyknowingly that you are dating other people that's her choice to do and it's like like you said like men and women are different they're um we have a man who's going to spend all of his time with the woman that he cares about the
00:41:55
Kellymost he's going to spend the most money because he works to make his money so why would he go waste it on some girls that he doesn't see any potential in so as long as like you know you're not saying this is my girlfriend and there's
00:42:07
Brian Atlasno like there's no title on it there's nothing I don't I don't see anything wrong with that and that's exactly what it is yeah well she could be his girlfriend even but she as long as she understands she's just well you know
00:42:19
Kellythey're they're dating part of dating but they haven't it's not like you ever said will you be my girlfriend because once that question comes out then that's a completely different story then you taking other women is cheating on her yeah well she
00:42:32
Brian Atlascould she could still be your girlfriend though but you still have this understanding right yeah if she was my girlfriend though yeah I cut off everybody yeah I cut off
00:42:42
Brian Atlaswomen instantly wait so Alex you were saying a little bit earlier that that you think it's more so men that are operating like this that are moving like
00:42:52
Alex Clarkthis as compared to women yeah the inability to commit I I do I do find it to be a lot of men I mean you are like that like you talk about that
00:43:03
Alex Clarkyeah wait how how am I like you um are very anti-marriage you don't want to commit either so I this is like a phenomenon I'm seeing growing I think a lot of the men that watch the show I think they would agree that is where
00:43:16
Brian Atlasthey fall is they're very anti-commitment be and it's because they think that there are no women worth committing to I understand that I I would like to just point out make one the clarification I don't I don't have
00:43:27
Brian Atlasany qualms with commitments I have qualms with marriage you can I I could have a life partner that I am monogamous with and I spend 20 30 years however you know however long it is uh
00:43:39
Brian Atlasmarriage on the other hand you need not have marriage in order to be committed to somebody got it okay so I'm not anti-commitment against the legal things that marriage entails yeah what it locks
00:43:50
Brian Atlasyou into yeah it's just there's the financial ramifications of marriage and like the the thing with marriage I don't object to it from a religious standpoint but the thing is is that uh if there's
00:44:03
Brian Atlasever an issue in the marriage for example let's say you're both religious your wife is not likely to go to God or to the her church or you know to her priest whatever it is for
00:44:15
Brian Atlaslike the the your the religion does not preside over the marriage the state presides over the marriage so she's going to seek recourse through the court system she's going to go to the state and so once you have the state involved then
00:44:27
Brian Atlasyou have alimony then you have all these negative repercussions then you have to if you're the breadwinner as a guy not only do you have to pay for your lawyer in the event of a divorce you have to
00:44:37
Brian Atlasfund you have to pay for her lawyer so it's it gets very uh
00:44:50
Brian Atlasso no doubt that's an issue but I mean how many people like when they get married they're they're going into the marriage thinking this is my person I think so many people get married way too
00:45:00
Isaac Butterfieldearly I think people get married I got married uh 29. my wife was 26. and we sort of planned it out in a way where we'd live together for a certain amount of time and we spend all this time together we've traveled the world
00:45:12
Isaac Butterfieldtogether we did all these things we know who we are and we we grew as a couple and we became the people that we both basically we cannot be separated like the fact that she and my son and uh my
00:45:25
Isaac Butterfieldmate Morgan who's with us on this trip are out in the car at the moment or they're going around somewhere me being here I'm just like oh I probably should be there you know what I mean because we are almost joined at
00:45:35
Isaac Butterfieldthe hip we do everything together and the fact that marrying her was an important step for us I think it obviously being involved with the government and signing the contract and being
00:45:46
Isaac Butterfieldum involved in that sense it does scare a lot of people but I think it is an important move for a lot of people to make just so you feel good it's such a good feeling but weddings do cost
00:45:59
Isaac Butterfielda ton of money too it's a great way to spend 30 40 50 000 on one day
00:46:14
Isaac Butterfieldcould get married there but not um it was a joke about Stevo and the voice I I think that going somewhere nice is very important because there's also something special about about the
00:46:27
Isaac Butterfieldcontract of standing up in front of everyone and saying hey we're going to spend the rest of our lives because it's a culture thing yeah it's not so much about religion it's a culture thing when that's what you do when you love this person more than anything else you spend
00:46:38
Isaac Butterfieldall your money and you get locked into a contract with them it doesn't make sense when you think about it like it does rain it doesn't yeah exactly well if everybody's so worried about the government repercussions why not do it
00:46:50
Alex Clarkspecifically through the church write out a contract for you and the person you're marrying through the church and do it that way and not legally get married at all
00:47:03
Brian Atlaswell I mean I'm I'm not pro like if you go to a if you go to a church and you get married I think the state would even though you don't get like a
00:47:15
Brian Atlasmarriage license I'm pretty sure you're still deemed by the state to be married and then once you get married even if it's just through religion then this there's various uh legal triggers that occur I
00:47:27
Brian Atlasmean people often bring up prenup I'll just get a prenup but a prenup isn't prenups get thrown out it's not going to save you if the woman is motivated enough uh
00:47:38
Brian Atlasyou just tell the judge there was coercion or fraudulent inducement um so prenups get thrown out uh I I don't know if I think prenups can address
00:47:50
Brian Atlasyour assets that prior to marriage but things that you earn in marriage I think people donated attorney
00:48:00
TTS Reader30k a month for 20 years and millions in assets from a divorce if you have any real amount of money it makes no sense to get married good point Mr meatball
00:48:10
Christyyeah I mean the question is isn't there a thing that like if you
00:48:21
Christycushions you're worried about I'm not so you're saying Kylie Jenner and his like ex-wife like apparently they weren't actually married because it was like in another country and they never got a marriage license here so I think you
00:48:34
Christycould still have the commitment and celebration of getting married and I think that you do it in certain countries it doesn't hold up here so you don't have to worry about that well but then you you of the sort of benefits that do exist if you because I guess
00:48:46
Brian Atlasthere are certain tax benefits or something if you get married this like if there's a Health crisis there's certain like benefits there I guess but um do you think it matters when you make the money to
00:48:58
Isaac Butterfieldbecause if you make the money together and if she's a stay-at-home mum and she looks after the kids and allows you to go out and work and by allows you I mean to look after the kid sure let's you do you think that matters as well because
00:49:10
Isaac Butterfieldonce again not to go back to my situation but we made the money together we bought the houses together we did all that together so if we were to divorce then I'd be like well you just you deserve it you deserve that you deserve
00:49:21
Brian Atlasthat do you think that she still deserves it if she cheated on you nah that she no but here's the thing here's the thing oh hold on when did the offender donated 99
00:49:33
Brian AtlasChristy are you advocating for passport I don't know I don't think that's what she's advocating for she's just saying you can get married in a different country and perhaps the US would not but you would be subject if you ever went
00:49:46
Brian Atlasback to that country you would be subject to their marriage laws but uh and I would assume you need to go get divorced because you can't if you're already married you couldn't you have to get divorced before you can remarry uh
00:49:58
Brian Atlasin the U.S your wife could your wife could participate in a gang bang divorce you and still get paid alimony well Steve Harvey's wife just cheated on
00:50:09
Alex Clarkhim with like their personal chef and their Butler or whatever the drivers and now she wants like 400 million dollars for their divorce it just sounds like victim whining to me like I think the
00:50:20
Alex Clarkguys you guys have to step up and and be confident that you're picking the right woman the butler I should explain root made sex in Australia but but you're you're removing hold on but you're
00:50:31
Brian Atlasremoving all accountability from women like not if so Step Up pick the right woman but if she ends up cheating cheating on like well is that still your
00:50:42
Monicafault for not like people change Harvey's situation I feel like it's different because he he had like two different relationships
00:50:53
Monicabefore then and one of them was in jail and Steve Harvey took in her preach she already had kids before him okay see that he ignored like he took her and
00:51:05
Monicatook her kids adopted her kids but she was messing with him while she was still with somebody else I think he went to jail
00:51:15
Monicathat's why she started messing with him but she already had kids by the dude if the guy does the girl get more money than half what's that if the guy cheats
00:51:24
Brian Atlasto the the woman I'm not sure I think so I think so I do know like if there's infidelity that would not preclude you as the cheating partner from getting
00:51:36
Juanalimony so so then if the the other way around was true Like a Woman made more money in the relationship yeah then you would agree for the same sort of terms where if the the man were to cheat the
00:51:47
Brian Atlasman should not get any money well the okay I can talk about what should could like what ought to be what should be perfect but like what's most epic oh in my perfect world working in
00:51:57
Brian Atlasthe world if there's infidelity then I don't think I I think that'd be a fair reason to not be subject to alimony whether you're the man or the woman yeah because
00:52:09
Brian Atlasthat makes sense but the reality is is that I mean I think it's something like 97 of alimony payments go from men to women so I mean the
00:52:21
Juanyou know I think everyone should get a prenup
00:52:26
Brian Atlasprenup both ways pretty pretty straightforward sure but I mean and also well but okay to bring it back to Alex uh I just point of clarification because you mentioned commitment I am perfectly
00:52:37
Brian Atlasprepared to have a long-term or lifelong monogamous relationship with a woman what I'm not prepared to do is to needlessly involve the state with my love life I don't want to allow the
00:52:49
Brian Atlasstate to be judged jury and executioner over my hard-earned resources and money in the event of a divorce so I like the U.S court system has very
00:53:00
Brian Atlasstrong bias against men and if there were changes made in the to the court system to better protect men from Financial ruin in the event of divorce then I might be a bit more obliged to
00:53:11
Brian Atlasget married but until then I don't sign contracts that don't benefit me what would they need to change to benefit or to at least so okay there's a couple things I think one uh there there needs to be like just a base
00:53:24
Brian Atlascap on child support so it doesn't matter like if whatever the bare minimum it takes to raise a kid you can adjust for cost of living of that City or whatever uh there's no world where if you choose to
00:53:37
Brian Atlasdivorce someone in their High earner that you should be getting you no longer get the benefit of the lifestyle that that person brings so you get bare like bare minimum child support there there should be a cap on child support you should not be getting four hundred
00:53:49
Brian Atlasthousand dollars a month in child support when it comes to alimony same thing I I don't there are certainly good Arguments for alimony for example if the woman she chooses to
00:54:01
Brian Atlasdisregard pursuing a career to be married to you and to have kids it makes sense under those circumstances that
00:54:10
Brian Atlasas the guy you should support your ex-wife however there ought to be a cap to alimony and if she's involved with another guy she gets
00:54:21
Brian Atlasremarried then alimony should cease if she she's able to find a new guy to support her she's living with a new guy then alimony should should cease there should be a cap on it it should it
00:54:32
Brian Atlasshouldn't be based on your income if you're making 200 you know like you hear these like Dr Dre you hear all these guys who get absolutely wrecked in court because uh they have to pay like insane amount of
00:54:44
Isaac Butterfieldalimony if you choose to leave your partner if you choose to initiate a divorce uh you should get like a there should be a cap I think the problem with the cap though is if you live in that person's house or you own a couple of houses or whatever the situation is particularly in in
00:54:57
Isaac Butterfieldrelationships where there's a lot of money involved if you live in a house still on a mortgage you're gonna need that exorbitant amount of money to pay it off so it has to be a case by case well well if if the primary breadwinner
00:55:10
Isaac Butterfielduh keeps the house then I don't know they go to a apartment the divorcee I guess it depends on like how bad the divorce ends because some divorces you just realize I don't love
00:55:24
Brian Atlasyou anymore or it's a horrible situation is not being in love with somebody a good reason to get a divorce no I absolutely think so absolutely not and in fact I think it's inevitable that there will be
00:55:35
Alex Clarktimes in a marriage where you're not in love with the other person but that is the purpose of marriage so that you can't just walk out like that that commitment is what's supposed to drive
00:55:47
Brian Atlasyou so that even in the lulls even in the low points you're still committed to that person well yeah what what are the vows till death do us part in sickness and in health it says nothing about I'm bored yeah I'm feeling a little
00:55:59
Qbored I guess I can leave and I just and I just I just seen um the research today some additional research came out that said um 54 with infidelity
00:56:09
Qum 54 of women cheat because they're unhappy and I just want to talk um point on that that unhappiness that leads to women cheating and then essentially
00:56:19
Qwomen cheat to get out of relationships that just speaks to how you know in unstable that marriages typically are and how they operate on the whim of a woman's emotions because women initiate
00:56:31
Qdivorce at a higher rate than men do so that commitment that's made for sickness um and in health till death do us part that commitment is supposed to be honored so when a woman feels that she doesn't love her husband anymore or she's bored or whatever the case may be
00:56:44
Qthat's that those principles are supposed to stand those pillars of those principles are supposed to stand she's supposed to out uh she's supposed to fight through that and that's when I come back to your point when you said
00:56:56
Qum most people get married too young or they don't know each other you described how you and your wife developed your relationship you said that you guys knew each other you guys learned each other a lot of people don't know how to properly vet when they jump they jump into
00:57:08
Qrelationships in the infatuation stage they're not prepared for oh we're gonna have these disagreements here's where our personalities don't align here's where our values don't align and the minute those things rise to the surface
00:57:20
Qthey want out and typically it's the woman first because the woman is the one who gets fed up first she's the one who gets irritated first she's the one who gets annoyed first and she wants out
00:57:30
Qtypically men don't expect that because men we go cry in the car we sit we decompress we go in our man cave or whatever the case may be and then we come back we're feeling better let's have sex let's make up but once that
00:57:41
Qwoman starts to feel bored or unhappy the relationship is now in Jeopardy and that's the issue with men picking better women we do have to pick better women we have to pick women that we know are going to hold us down just like I said
00:57:54
Qgoing back to my situation I've seen what she can stand by me through she stands by me through absolutely the worst of things that she doesn't agree with because she loves me and she sees
00:58:04
Qwho I am and what I will become so I can honor that so now I know I feel safe and secure that if I commit to this woman I know this woman is going to be here even
00:58:14
Brian Atlaswhen she can't stand me even when she doesn't love me and that's why I feel that in the future I can marry her I have a question for the whole table
00:58:24
Brian Atlasthat's semi-related to commitment and uh who who here has been in a couple different relationships I mean I assume probably everybody here