Her Ex-Boyfriend DRIVES Her To Dates?! | Dating Talk #81
Date: 2023-07-05
Duration: 5h 50m
Guests
Brian AtlasIdentified Speakers
SPEAKER_00TTS/Donations(audience)
SPEAKER_01Video Playback(audience)
SPEAKER_02Dion(guest)
SPEAKER_03Sophia(guest)
SPEAKER_04Gabby(guest)
SPEAKER_05Kat(guest)
SPEAKER_06Production/Crew(audience)
SPEAKER_09Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_11Tiffany(guest)
SPEAKER_12Nikki(guest)
SPEAKER_13Taylor(guest)
SPEAKER_14Yuki(guest)
Key Moments
00:06:50
Key MomentSophia admits ex-boyfriend Kaden told her to say she's 'single' before driving her to show
“he so like we're friends... he told me to say that I'm single”
00:07:25
Key MomentPanel accuses Sophia's boyfriend of letting her go to hook up with someone else
“he forced you to say you're single so he can drop her off and go hook up with another girl”
01:25:47
Key MomentBrian reveals xQc's identity and $100M Kick deal after showing panel his Instagram
“this is Felix he's a very popular twitch streamer... a two-year non-exclusive deal for a hundred million dollars”
01:33:43
Key MomentKat reveals she hasn't worked in a year and was financially supported by her ex
“I haven't worked in a year... my ex supported me”
01:52:33
OtherYuki becomes emotional discussing her online ex-boyfriend who ignored her hotel invitation; she waited alone all night
“I invite him to come over there and he just ignore... I'm staying in that hotel whole night alone”
01:55:04
OtherYuki cries on stream; Nikki and Sophia comfort her about self-worth
“I'm really ugly... I'm really sorry... she was hurting from a little bit before”
02:14:00
Key MomentSophia reveals she DM'd Andrew Tate ~1.5 years ago and he was planned to come on the show
“we actually we did DM like a long time ago like a year this is a year and a half ago... he was gonna come actually be on the show”
02:14:23
Key MomentSophia reveals she spoke with Destiny and was on his abortion debate discord
“I was speaking to Destiny... I should have been on abortion debate... on the pro-life side”
03:46:57
OtherDion (and Kat/Gabby) leave show early due to work obligations at 8am
“I do have to go... you've got work at eight in the morning”
04:53:11
ControversyBrian reveals he and Nikki almost got into a fight before the show started
“me and Nikki almost fought before the show but it's all love right Nikki”
05:13:34
Key MomentSophia admits she was 45 minutes late because she was doing her anxiety medication in the car and stopped at Target
“I was lost... I had to do my makeup in the car... I got leggings from Target”
05:40:52
Key MomentBrian shows Sophia's prescribed Lorazepam bottle on stream; she took 2 pills (double dose)
“this is Lorazepam 0.5 milligrams uh take one tablet by mouth twice daily but didn't you say you took two tablets”
Topics Discussed
00:03:52
Introductions & relationship statuses
Guests introduce themselves (name, age, occupation, location). Brian goes around table for relationship status and longest relationships. Sophia's unusual situation discussed: broke up 3 days ago but ex-boyfriend drove her to the show.
00:06:38
Sophia's situationship: ex driving her to dates
Extended discussion on Sophia's ambiguous relationship status. Her 1-year boyfriend Kaden drove her from Bakersfield; they had a 'break' conversation Saturday. Dead bedroom for ~6 months. Panel debates whether this constitutes a real breakup.
00:46:40
Feminism & who should pay on first dates
Sophia identifies as feminist; debate on feminism, wage gap, patriarchy. Brian plays viral TikTok of liberal woman wanting traditional man. Discussion on whether feminist women can expect men to pay on first dates. Soy boy terminology debate.
01:38:00
Dating happiness check-in
Brian asks panel if they're happy with their dating lives. Goes around table. Tiffany celibate 7 months and attending therapy. Discussion on why Taylor isn't dating despite being attractive.
01:43:20
Female Delusion Calculator exercise
Brian has Kat and Dion run through the Female Delusion Calculator live. Kat gets ~1.1% match (white men, 100K income, 5'8'+, age 24-40). Dion gets ~0.75% match. Discussion on hypergamy and income requirements.
01:48:10
Self-rating round (looks scale 1-10)
Brian asks each guest to rate their own physical appearance. Dion: 6. Nikki: 10. Sophia: refused. Tiffany: 6. Taylor: 6.5/6. Kat: 7-8. Gabby: left before. Yuki: 0 then 5. Yuki's low self-esteem triggers emotional moment.
01:52:50
Yuki's self-esteem and online dating experience
Yuki explains she rated herself 0 due to poor self-esteem rooted in online relationship where ex ignored hotel invite. She cried. Nikki and Sophia give encouragement. Panel advises building confidence outside of relationships.
01:53:20
Flowers on first dates debate
Super Chat question triggers extended debate: is bringing flowers on a first date too much? Brian argues it's over-investment in hookup culture era. Taylor strongly disagrees. Most guests broadly open to flowers. Brian presents hook-up culture argument.
02:02:50
Bachelor showcase (Felix/xQc and Chance)
Brian shows the panel Instagram profiles of two potential bachelors: Felix (xQc, Twitch streamer, 27, $100M Kick deal) and Chance (29). Panel rates whether they'd date them. Reveals xQc's deal amount — Kat walked back her dismissal.
02:46:00
Religion and firearms discussion
Panel discusses whether they would date a religious person and their views on partners owning firearms. Most are OK with moderate religiosity and responsible gun ownership. Sophia is pro-life Catholic. Dion requires religious partner.
03:11:40
Andrew Tate and Destiny discussion
Sophia reveals she DM'd Andrew Tate ~1.5 years ago and he was going to appear on the show. She also claims to chat with Destiny. Brian dismisses online acquaintances as not real friends. Brief debate on Tate's legal situation.
03:14:00
Long-distance relationships debate
Sophia's story about guys driving hours for hookups prompts debate on long-distance. Brian says he wouldn't drive 45 minutes even for his dream girl. Taylor and Nikki offer different perspectives. Yuki shares her painful online-only relationship story.
03:20:00
Men vs women promiscuity debate
Sophia claims men are more promiscuous than women. Brian debunks with General Social Survey data (28% of men 18-30 report no sex in past year vs 18% of women). Extended back-and-forth on hookup culture access asymmetry.
05:45:35
Yuki leaves; show wind-down
Yuki says goodbye at ~5:45. Remaining panel jokes and wraps up. Nikki, Sophia banter about making up after pre-show argument. Show concludes.
Transcript
Page 1 of 7
00:00:00
Brian Atlasand we are live welcome to the whatever dating Talk podcast thank you for tuning in tonight you could have been anywhere in the world but you're here with me I appreciate that we're coming to you live
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TTS/DonationsBrian please take this moment to do an indigenous tribal land acknowledgment please recognize your podcast Studio exists on Stolen indigenous Jewish land
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00:03:37
Brian Atlasum thank you uh so yeah check out our Clips channels um if you can't catch the full shows anyways without further Ado we're going to have the guests introduce themselves so uh please tell us your
00:03:50
Dionname age occupation and also where you're from go ahead my name is Dion I'm 19. I am an entrepreneur and I work at a truck and equipment
00:04:02
Nikkishop and I'm from Red Bluff NorCal did you say your age 19 19. okay welcome thank you
00:04:12
SophiaI'm Nikki uh I'm 19 and I'm from La I work at a warehouse hi I'm I'm Sophia I'm 18. and I'm in
00:04:25
Tiffanyschool and I live at Bakersfield sorry to hear that okay what about you my name is Tiffany I'm 26. I'm from LA
00:04:36
Taylorand I'm in customer service okay hi my name is Taylor I'm 27 and I work in marketing I'm from LA I've heard all this
00:04:50
Kathi my name is Kat I'm 24 and I'm from Fresno California hi I'm Gabby I'm 28. I'm a tech
00:05:01
Yukirecruiter and I'm from LA hi I was gonna say I forgot to say I'm a student also go ahead okay hi I'm Yuki I'm a student at UC birdcreate and I'm majoring in
00:05:13
Brian Atlasphysics and math age oh I'm 22. 22. okay sweet all right and then uh we're gonna go around the table once more so what is your current
00:05:24
Brian Atlasrelationship status are you single do you have friends with benefits talking stage situationship relationship and also uh what's your longest relationship or well what what's the longest relationship you've ever had and if you
00:05:37
Dionare single how long have you been single go ahead I am single and um my longest relationship was three years
00:05:47
Nikkiand I've been single for eight months eight months okay um I'm currently taken
00:05:59
Brian Atlasum my longest relationship is just four months is that your current relationship uh no it's three your current relationship is three
00:06:10
Sophiamonths but your longest is four okay what about you I'm single and my longest relationship was one year
00:06:20
Brian Atlasand I've been single for like a couple days a couple days uh okay um a couple days yeah so like three days
00:06:33
Sophiaago you got dumped or what's the situation why did he dump you I mean he so like we're friends
00:06:41
Brian Atlasfriends hold on what you guys wait so was this the one-year relationship yeah so your longest relationship which was
00:06:50
Brian Atlasone year ended three days ago but he drove you from Bakersfield to here yeah yeah but you guys just broke up we're like it's not like a breakup like we're friends
00:07:04
Dionjust said you're single though yeah I mean he told me to say that he he forced you is this like no no uh
00:07:15
Gabbyis this like a pimp like twice a year under duress yeah blink twice what's that symbol or whatever that the girls do Oh I thought it was it was like in the hand
00:07:29
Brian AtlasSophia here I'm sorry what show that what shoes you have a tattoo on your hand it's a Whiting yeah it's a white ink tattoo doesn't that like [ __ ] up the
00:07:41
Brian Atlassensitivity of your hand if you get a tattoo because there's a lot of nerve end anyways no you can you can feel it okay I felt it sometimes rock and roll um so your boyfriend who
00:07:52
Sophiajust dumped was it a mutual thing or did you yeah it was a mutual Mutual it wasn't really somebody initiated that yeah it was like Mutual like remember
00:08:04
Sophianot necessarily like you know how um breakups are because we were like really close we're always with each other and so like now we're just like not with the
00:08:16
Sophiatitle and we're just like you know we're like just using this to get better and grow
00:08:26
Sophiaand like see if something is still there I guess so you're on a break you said you're single yeah I mean he that I'm single
00:08:38
Brian Atlasso like he said that you're single yeah what what do you think you are um are you still in a relationship no but like
00:08:49
Brian AtlasI'm single so would he drive you to a date no because I want to go on a date yeah but you're single so it's plausible that at some point you're gonna go on a date with someone new
00:09:02
Dionyou said he drove you here would he drive you to go on a date would you say that you're figuring it out I think that he told her to say she's
00:09:12
Dionsingle so he can drop her off and go hook up with another girl it's possible because what else would be the reason for that that makes no sense no in my opinion no does he know any chicks in
00:09:24
SophiaIsla Vista no does he watch the show no he's going and getting mango by the beach and he better get me some because those are so good and he's going
00:09:37
Sophiato do that alone he's going to the hotel no because um his cousin and my friend his cousin's girlfriend like we're all you know friends and they're coming
00:09:48
Gabbyso do you trust your friend group to like rat on him if he starts talking to a chick he's not going to do that how do you but you guys are broken up you guys are both singles so
00:10:01
Sophiaso would you be upset if he hooked up it's just like I after like what three days we'll just feel the need to go and [ __ ] someone or something not not
00:10:12
Dionnecessarily some people do some might that situation just sounds like unhealthy and weird like a situationship like I I wouldn't be happy doing that I would
00:10:22
Dionnever do that um but thank you gator we all have our own yeah experiences yeah I mean it's uh typically I mean I think the best way to proceed with the
00:10:34
Dionbreakup is like there needs to be a period of like you're not in contact with them so I mean you've you're still hanging out with them yeah you have to set some boundaries you can't just go from a year
00:10:45
Dionin a relationship to being single but still driving around together like what is that are you ultimate Devil's Advocate three days is really hard to figure out everything separating all
00:10:58
Gabbyyour stuff I don't know if you guys live together or yeah yeah oh you guys live together together you got to separate all your [ __ ] you gotta I mean it's not even to that point like did you guys talk about it like plus you don't know
00:11:10
Sophiaif you're getting back together so then what if you separate all your stuff and it's not like a breakup breakup it's like just like separation just a little separation that's a breakup just like you guys are done
00:11:26
Tiffanyinstantly done my boyfriend needs me to come on here and say I'm single I would be hold on closer to the mic please go ahead I know if my boyfriend told me to come on here and say I'm single I would
00:11:36
Sophiabe super hurt I'd be like excuse me why are you like why do I have to say I'm single well I asked him like do you want me to say I'm in a relationship or am I
00:11:46
Sophiasingle and he just like was like you choose and then he dropped me off and he was just like you can say you're single but you got okay just to clarify
00:11:58
Brian Atlasyou guys did have a a breakup conversation essentially correct barely haven't talked yet no it's like it was weird
00:12:09
Sophiaum from his point of view s like once like a little separation and like
00:12:18
Sophiajust like to grow like you know work that's what he says to grow he's gonna be growing with another chick yeah I'm sorry I have
00:12:30
Dionbad news for you when I told my boyfriend I wanted a separation that was the end of it we're good because I was just too scared to say like you know I
00:12:40
Brian Atlasdon't know if we can like totally judge her entire situation yeah we won nitpick it too what like 20 20 seconds of meeting you but okay question when did the semi sort of breakup conversation
00:12:52
Brian Atlashappen it was a couple days ago you said yeah do you know what day it was is it Monday wait today's Tuesday was it it was like I think in the weekend because I was
00:13:03
Brian AtlasSaturday on the phone with my friend was it Saturday yeah he was mad okay question so you guys had the sort of breakup on Saturday between Saturday and
00:13:13
Brian Atlastoday Tuesday have you guys hooked up no no hooking up okay really have sex huh we don't like have sex
00:13:23
Brian Atlasyou don't do these sex okay wait even in your relationship you guys didn't have so we have uh um since you've broken up you mean no like just in the past six
00:13:35
Sophiamonths it's been a dead bedroom yeah kinda I mean why is that we're not super sexually active why is that I don't know
00:13:46
Sophiayou don't want it he doesn't want it you don't have a libido so he's kind of he wants it but you're kind of like not in the mood type of [ __ ] no sometimes but like not even that I'm not in the
00:14:00
Brian Atlastype of mood okay but like I don't know it's just like a relationship isn't based on sex holy [ __ ] oh audio um Eric can you adjust the is it low oh
00:14:12
Brian Atlasthat's weird that came through super low uh yo swordless thank you for the 50 gifted Subs on Twitch you're [ __ ] Legend dude thank you man um so okay it's been a it was a dead bedroom for six months you said I don't
00:14:25
Brian Atlaswant to put words in your mouth that I said six months but I mean kinda okay Good Times yeah that's always fun all right uh well we can come back to
00:14:38
Tiffanythat uh what about you what's your uh relationship ish I am single very single and uh very single very single like nothing going on zero it's a lot of fun
00:14:51
Brian Atlasum yeah my last relationship was seven months ago we were together for two and a half years I think in some of your uh pre-show Communications you sent with us you said
00:15:03
Brian Atlasyou've you said you've been celibate for seven months yeah since the relationship okay so you're very single very yeah so there's since you're 2.5 year was it
00:15:14
Tiffanyyeah relationship ended nothing okay why did he dump you um his dad told him he'd get an apartment out here basically so he chose an apartment
00:15:25
Tiffanyout in Santa Barbara instead of our relationship oh so he lives here and you live in L.A yeah well we moved into La together and then we were gonna move back here together but his dad didn't like me why
00:15:38
Tiffanyis that well his today's his birthday too so happy birthday um happy birthday America and um what no his it was a weird situation
00:15:50
Tiffanyhis mom died so like the dad didn't like me and it was just a very touchy situation you know so I don't know it was just not not a good situation okay it in your notes Here skateboarder dude
00:16:01
Brian Atlasdumps you out of the blue one month later calls you begging to have you back did you take him back no no did not do that I told him to have a nice life okay
00:16:12
Brian Atlasso no no nothing coming back I mean yeah question for the panel like for the all the girls have you ever had a guy and things or break up with you and then with it within a couple days or a couple
00:16:24
Brian Atlasweeks he's hitting you up like I'm babe I miss you I made the mistake like has that ever happened to anybody here nobody okay
00:16:36
Taylorum got it okay well we'll continue on what about you or actually wait someone said no no okay go ahead and buy you okay uh my status like yeah relationships okay yes yes
00:16:47
Taylorokay so I'm single um and my longest relationship was four years um we live together and then I've been single for
00:16:57
Brian Atlasdamn I lost count probably like two ish years maybe about I'll say sure okay and just going back to you so you're
00:17:09
Tiffanysaying you're very single so that there's in that there's nothing nothing going on dates any dates a couple dates I went on one but I was with this guy that I known since high school
00:17:21
Tiffanyum so it was just like we kind of like we never did anything we like made out and like hung out and that was it and in high school we haven't done anything since then took me out on a date it was nice he hasn't I don't know he just
00:17:33
Tiffanydoesn't show very much um he doesn't show like he's like he's very interested so I'm just gonna let it be oh so this was recently this was kind of recently yeah how recent like a month
00:17:44
Tiffanyand a half to go two months ago and you haven't heard from him and I mean well you said you went on one date correct yeah we like went out to like a Mexican restaurant you know something something simple you know nothing crazy nothing
00:17:55
Gabbycrazy got some tacos or something exactly nice conversation what about you um so I'm it's it's complicated and I don't
00:18:06
Gabbyreally feel like expanding on that but my last relationship was just shy of five years so complicated but single I'm not look I'm not looking for
00:18:19
Gabbyanything but I guess you could say single if you need to put a label on it so but you said your longest relationship was five years just shy of five years what um why don't you want to expand on why it's complicated
00:18:34
Gabbylike my whole personal life needs to be played for for a bunch of people to watch did you request to come on a dating podcast well just because I want to be on a dating podcast I can talk
00:18:46
Gabbyabout the data topics but not to expand on my personal life okay so just like you don't share your body count ever well I didn't ask for your body count I just asked for your relationship well but I'm saying there
00:18:59
Gabbyare certain things that you kind of don't want to share or that you wouldn't want to share in front of a bunch of people I feel like there's just levels of privacy that I'd like to okay I'll take a couple guesses Nikki I think
00:19:11
Nikkiit sounded like you maybe wanted to come in it sounded like you had a question maybe yeah go for it so you still have feelings for him like are you guys still in contact or are you still is it still more of a touchy subject that you don't want me to ask questions about we
00:19:23
Gabbyco-parent a dog together what kind of dog he's uh what it it's okay so he's an 18 year old blind Apple Head Chihuahua that doesn't
00:19:36
Gabbyhave any teeth hmm girl what and you can't just thank you for yourself because the dog it's and then that's a like a tumultuous
00:19:48
TTS/Donationsdeadly sins donated one hundred dollars seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven seven
00:19:56
TTS/Donationsit's been happening a lot recently I can name ten books I don't think it's 77 sextillion
00:20:06
TTS/Donations77700 thank you uh seven deadly sins appreciate it 177 trillion 7 777 billion 777
00:20:18
Brian Atlas777. while you guys are at it just a reminder if you want to do TTS via stream Labs um thank you seven deadly sins by the way uh due through streamlabs TTS it's uh 99
00:20:29
Brian Atlasand up will trigger whatever the [ __ ] that was or you can put in a custom message um okay so it's complicated you're co-parenting a dog yes
00:20:42
Gabbydid you did you both buy the dog together no it was your dog no his dog um more his dog than my dog who paid for
00:20:53
Gabbythe dog no one it was a doc it was adopted he was found found dog he was he was really um he had a really hard life before he came into our hands and our
00:21:06
Brian Atlascare word okay so can I just make up a story for you you say it's complicated you are in a polycule no you're in a polycule there's like seven dudes and like three
00:21:18
Brian Atlaschicks in the polycule it's a it's it's it's very complicated did I did I get that right no okay fair enough all right Gabby just a little to the left on that one Gabby
00:21:30
Katwhat about you um it's also complicated um my longest relationships uh my last one was ears and the one
00:21:41
Katjust got out of still sort of an I'm in it is almost gonna be three years in September this year wait so hold on just you said
00:21:49
Katcomplicated but the current one wait so I the the relationship that I'm not in at the moment but I'm still in contact
00:21:59
Katwith my ex uh I broke up with him oh [ __ ] sorry wrongly that's okay I broke up with him in January dated some other
00:22:09
Katguys got back together with him we've been together I broke up with him at the beginning of June and we're still in contact if we're gonna get back together it's on me
00:22:21
Katwait so you broke up in June so why do you give back with him I love him but there's like really shitty circumstances that I have to put up with he's not going to change
00:22:33
Nikkimove on so like what like what's like the thing that keeps ending the relationship like what's like okay yeah this is not it he lives with his mom way closer to the mic please excuse me sir I have a little threat thing
00:22:45
Katum [Music]
00:22:51
Katit's not a big deal but he won't come over to my apartment and I initially got back together with him because he would compromise with me to come to my apartment but he hasn't
00:23:06
Nikkithe whole time like there's no nothing to it like there's no pet peeve there's like there's a few other things but for the most part like 80 of like what I
00:23:16
Katwould see in like a person who I want to marry like he has but the circumstances for like the next year because he said that he won't move in with me until August of next year are just gonna be
00:23:28
Katkind of the same so like what are the standards of the person that you want to marry um I mean I'm I'm attracted to him I enjoy
00:23:39
Kathijab I have a good job I can see us like growing together as like parents and getting married um so I see a future with him for sure and I spend most of my time with him he
00:23:51
Katjust lives with his mom right now and she doesn't like me and I don't like going over there why doesn't his mom like you um very early on in our relationship she
00:24:02
Katused to talk about his ex-girlfriend a lot and I told him to tell her to not do that and then one day we were having lunch and she was showing me like her Facebook profile and I texted him like hey um
00:24:21
Katlike comfortable like in a nice way you could have put it I texted him like Hey your mom's doing this right now he took a screenshot and sent it to his mom why would you do that while I was with her
00:24:32
Katand so I was just like okay this is bad son the mom was like you never come between a mother and her son so yeah but then she can have him she's in relationships
00:24:45
Nikkiyou're in front of her you're texting your boyfriend on how you feel about her right in front of her because we had talked and then he's gonna send her a screenshot on his part that's kind of like okay that's kind of little but why
00:24:59
Nikkidon't you just look up and just be like hey I'm not comfortable with that why don't you address the feelings that you already feel like why did you just turn around and hide behind your boyfriend like well she got mad about it and then afterwards she just never liked me well
00:25:11
KatI feel like you were trying to like make peace with the moment like him talking to her like about it it would just die down but she just it it escalated even more because it's it's
00:25:24
Nikkisomething that you have to address with her because you have a problem with her we did um
00:25:33
Gabbythat's what I'm trying to tell you did you feel like it like wasn't your place to like tell his mom how to talk I wasn't very close with her please speak closer into the microphone I I wasn't
00:25:45
Nikkivery close with her so it just didn't really like make sense for me to be the one to tell her but when you change that connection and actually try to get to know her you're gonna be in her life if you want to get married to her son I
00:25:57
Kathope you realize that yeah it was three years ago I I just didn't really yeah have the confidence to like tell her something like that that's why the word Petty exists like people are
00:26:09
NikkiPetty and especially as a mom like I know you're gonna be in my son's future and you don't want to have a good connection with me the person that birth hers like the son
00:26:19
Katthat she tries to be nicer to me now but I just like I'm very standoffish of her why because she's not in the wrong period of just not liking me and being very mean to me so now when I go over
00:26:31
Dionthere I just kind of ignore her well that's only gonna hurt you exactly but it doesn't it doesn't make a difference to me at all if she's showing you her and you knew it was his ex and she knew
00:26:42
Katit was his ex and you felt some type of way about it and that's the difference yeah I mean they're very close he's like a mama's boy so he knows it too so I can
00:26:54
Nikkisay that exactly so you should be able to have a good connection with his mom then if he's a mama's boy but I feel like his mom is hung up on the X like because she always look at a person and be like hey I'm not
00:27:08
Nikkicomfortable with that just like the same way you address what you have a problem in a relationship you still can do that with another person yeah it's communication that Mom will never let go of it but she's awesome
00:27:19
Katif you bring it up she tried to have the same connection with me that she had with the ex but after that incident it just never really happened exactly
00:27:29
Katthe ex's name at one point and like he had to correct her like she was acting like I was like her well if it's important things for you to be with your boyfriend then you should
00:27:42
Diontake the steps to get a better relationship with Mom if not then why are you still with him because it's just gonna be awkward and uncomfortable I 100 agree with you but you're gonna have there's power and forgiveness and you're gonna have to get over what happened in
00:27:54
Brian Atlasthe past if you want to have a relationship with her and him yeah it takes wait so okay just the point of clarification you're in your messages to us before the show you said you're it's single but complicated is
00:28:06
Katthat correct or are you more relationship but complicated I am single because I did break up with him and we have not gotten back together so I hang out with him sure and you said that was a couple times a week
00:28:19
Brian Atlaswait okay but it's a three-year relationship but you say you you broke up but you continue hanging out three times multiple times a week I go to the gym with him but you broke up with him
00:28:29
Brian Atlasand you said your boyfriend slash X is a mama's boy lawyer that's the one that I'm living at his mom's at 33 yes he's 33.
00:28:41
Katwell you know maybe there's uh you know is that like a temperature it has to it has to do the fact that he won't come to my apartment and that was like a huge compromise that I wanted for us to get
00:28:54
Katback together for you guys to move in you wanted to not even just like move in but for him to come to me he never comes to me he always wants to stay at his mom's do you feel like his mom doesn't want him to go
00:29:06
Taylorover there and that's why he does he's comfortable at his mom's and he also wants to keep his mom company it's a question for you so do you think this is more that you more so have an
00:29:18
Taylorissue with his complacency in his current situation more than it is about the mom or anything like that do you think it's just like a stagnant yes situation that you're not really in favor okay because then I can see how you'd have issue with that because then
00:29:30
Katyou can't foresee growth together and then that could be an issue it also could be like he already told me a timeline I'll move in with you in a year so like I'm okay fine another year but you need to make the compromises of like
00:29:43
Taylorcoming to stay at my apartment instead of me always going over there and I think that it wouldn't be responsible of him to create or to say or make that commitment
00:29:53
Taylorum without having developed the habit or maybe exercise the muscle of going over and kind of staying at your place and kind of seeing how you guys live together and all that stuff because it's
00:30:03
Kata huge jump to be honest with you he he he will try to make up for it in different types of ways instead of going over to my apartment just sleeping over because that's what exactly you want so
00:30:16
Nikkiit's yeah why did you try to compromise with him then if he's trying to always try to compromise with you what have you done back to compromise with him I always go over to his mom's exactly and I hate his
00:30:28
Nikkimom I think I'm I'm already doing it he's my mom is my boyfriend I'm supposed to compromise with him because he's a mama's boy if he's showing you different ways that he cares about you and shows you different affection then you should
00:30:40
Katalso compromise with him that's in a relationship one time a week I feel like that's like really doable or at least like we didn't do that then address it honestly I I think that you should just continue always going over to his house
00:30:52
Dionno why like that's what I prefer in a relationship like I never want to go to the girls house but like she just always has to come on I'm like that's how it should be I think that's kind of disrespectful like that's equality
00:31:03
Nikkiexactly she says it's my face that she hates me bro these are new developments I guess you guys never had it
00:31:19
Brian Atlassometimes it's better to just uh find somebody else okay let's uh move on maybe we can touch back on that later uh what about you Yuki uh so my situations can complicated a little closer to Mike
00:31:31
Yukiplease so I fell in love with someone and never meet in real life oh yeah it's like and I never have like a real life dating experience have you facetimed
00:31:43
Gabbythem like you've seen them over video you know that that's like a real person like you're not getting catfished okay like I FaceTime like one time just one time one just one time yeah how long
00:31:53
Yukihave you guys been together like it's it's like we already like I I was like a placeholder like a size online check and until I know that
00:32:05
Taylorit's like just it's just I find that I have a girlfriend in real life he you found out that the person that you're talking to at the moment has a girlfriend in real life yeah he's like
00:32:16
Yukihe's saying like uh okay I have uh having like friend with my ex we like we handled a couple times like like this I don't know about that wait so just just
00:32:28
Brian Atlasa couple of points of clarification here so you where did you meet him online correct yeah where like on Tinder on Tinder yeah did you meet him at World of
00:32:38
Brian AtlasWarcraft I think so he's in La you live in Santa Barbara correct yeah okay okay so then and did you guys FaceTime or was it
00:32:49
Taylorstrictly like texting it's like mostly texting like I only FaceTime like three minutes did you see his face yeah was it congruent with the picture I think so
00:33:00
Katyeah so yeah okay because you seemed to be his girlfriend before you met him in person yeah exactly wait question okay so how long have you known him total as
00:33:10
Brian Atlasof now like now like half ear I think okay so six months and then you said you fell in love with him how quickly did you fall in love with him after meeting him one month two months three months
00:33:21
Brian Atlaslike I never met him well I mean like meeting him online how long did you said you're in love with him or were in love with him yeah uh are you still in love with him
00:33:32
YukiI like honestly I think I destroyed his life because I assume everything to like what he said
00:33:41
Yukito his family and his girlfriend because like he was like because he was like uh so right now he had a girlfriend right now and he kept texting me saying he
00:33:53
Yukiloved me and saying like that I I gotta move away from my girlfriend like that and I I know I'm so stupid and I I believe that like here wait I'm gonna have you fix your posture and scoot your chair into the table just because you're
00:34:06
Taylorsinking behind the mic a little bit okay I almost can't even digest what you said so yeah so he has a girlfriend and he was saying that like oh he's talking to
00:34:17
Tayloryou right and he's saying like oh I can't like continue this with you because it's affecting my relationship with my ex or my girlfriend at the moment no he's like keep texting me saying he love me he don't love his
00:34:29
Yukigirlfriend and you said that you exposed him yeah because I I'm like I was like so stupid because I like I would die for him like
00:34:41
Brian Atlasso but just I don't know if you answered this at what point after having met him did you fall in love with him two months in three months in like uh just like one month after one month have you ever
00:34:52
Nikkiheard of the three-month period like no three months period I don't know like that would be a long time for a period to last I mean that's when people really show their like actual emotions you do
00:35:04
Gabbyneed to give some time to travel with the person but I spend the night with them at least once you gotta know who that is but okay so a couple notes here so so you this was
00:35:15
Yukiyour only boyfriend yeah her boyfriend like yeah yeah I think so but like I have like like when I was like 13 over 14 I'm I'm
00:35:26
Nikkidoing like either two or more but I don't think that counts all your relationships have been eating e-dating like online like exactly online
00:35:37
Yukiwait so have you have you ever like gone out with a guy in person ever like I I try to have a date with some some people but like it's just a day then after day
00:35:49
Nikkiwe don't talk anymore that's it so just like why why do you think that it is like do you guys like do talk to him in the day like do you just sit there awkwardly like like what are you like on
00:36:00
Yukia first date like are you uncomfortable are you comfortable like you show up well-dressed overdressed like I don't know like I feel like I'm so like nervous all the time like I don't know
00:36:12
Yukiwhat I'm supposed to do I was just like sitting there and listening to what he said like that's it that's that's why yeah
00:36:20
Tiffanywe'll play a date I mean actually yeah I kind of really want to see that
00:36:33
Brian Atlasuh so you're saying that if you were on a date you just feel like you would not know what to say it would just be awkward which is kind of your hesitation but I mean I feel like I mean and you've
00:36:43
Brian Atlasnever really you said you've been on a couple or one or two like like two here in the U.S because you're uh where are you from from China okay so English isn't your first language so perhaps
00:36:55
Brian Atlasthere's a language barrier too that's like I mean unless unless you're going on a date with someone who speaks Mandarin or Cantonese do you speak Mandarin or Cantonese Mandarin yes unless you're going on a date with someone who speaks Mandarin there's like in addition to just being nervous on the
00:37:09
Yukifirst date it's like there's a language barrier too because you you seem actually quite quite good in in uh in English but you're probably not perfectly fluent yeah
00:37:20
GabbyI'm just too nervous I don't know how to you could become a nun that's an option like that's why online dating is easier for you because there's not that
00:37:31
Yukinervousness of that face-to-face interaction exactly and I don't know how to flirt like until I cuts a Feeling okay and so when you're flirting like
00:37:42
Taylorwhat does that look like um is that inappropriate to ask I'm kind of curious as to how you express affection like that is a point because
00:37:51
Taylorhonestly I don't know because Riz check because they're never like like very fell in love with someone in real life so okay so you don't super know quite
00:38:03
Gabbyyet or you're not very familiar with that part of yourself yeah everybody familiar have you ever fallen in love before she fell in love with her online boyfriend well but that's this one right
00:38:14
Yukinow though like before him have you ever fell in love with anybody like honestly in school I have like I have like uh some crash yeah but like
00:38:25
GabbyI don't know how to talk to them like oh yeah and that's it but it's never been like this powerful like you've never felt this way about anybody else yeah
00:38:34
Brian Atlasexactly okay wow thank you for sure so what's the further um you said you have gone maybe a couple times in person on dates is that correct
00:38:45
Brian Atlasbut they didn't go well is that correct you said in person you did go on one or two dates in person is that correct but it didn't go further than the first date
00:38:56
Brian Atlasis that right exactly okay um so just out of curiosity I mean what's the like what's the furthest that you've gone with a guy
00:39:07
Yukicloser to the mic please let me soon have you like kissed has there been a kiss nah it's just no kiss dinner yeah
00:39:17
Brian Atlasso Hibachi what did you get just like Mexican food Pasta Pasta Italian yeah okay here is another really interesting thing
00:39:26
Yukibecause like after this date I was asking that guy like show like should we like go to another date and he said like maybe like nah like we are not very much
00:39:36
Yukiyou asked him yeah but and also I I I pay him half a bill because I think you paid what I paid him half a bill you
00:39:47
Yukipaid half that's cool that's fine I mean you don't that's amazing paying the bill I like that [ __ ] pay for the whole meal actually dude it's don't it's just like
00:39:57
YukiI feel like okay you wanna because like uh we went to a date and he found that we are not really good to each other like so I pay him half a bill I mean you
00:40:09
Nikkishould understand because you're getting to know the person I mean yeah sure I mean all guys shouldn't be paying the bill it should be equal in some type of way and it's going to be like that in a
00:40:20
Nikkirelationship if that's what you want further on I mean whatever advice stay away from e-dating it's not going to help you in any type of way because even if you look at somebody face to face and you can't start a conversation that's a
00:40:32
Nikkiproblem with yourself and I don't think you should be dating I think you should just be working on yourself right exactly and you just look in the mirror practice you know starting conversation or just making friends and just starting or guy friends and starting conversation
00:40:45
Taylorwith them and that's how you start just by being yourself yeah but eating is not going to get you anywhere I feel that there's weirdos and creeps and 45 year olds that say that they like you I'll agree with that advice but did you
00:40:58
Taylorinvite him to go to the date or did he invite you the the one that you went on the date with did he invite you or did you invite him he reminded me then he needs to pay because he's asking for your time I know
00:41:10
Taylorhe's going to disagree but I think especially when it comes to when it comes to like because I you're from China right so there's a certain custom or a certain culture around dating right and so typically in those situations
00:41:22
Taylorthey're typically in more conservative cultures there's a very uh structured closer together sorry there's a very structured gendered role as it comes to that so I can see how you're not really
00:41:33
Taylorused to that being the case so to be completely honest with you I'm not shocked if you're uncomfortable with having to pay half uh considering where you're from and also what you're used to but I do think that if someone is asking
00:41:45
Taylorfor your time then they need to show that they value your time so I I mean it's just my opinion people can disagree or not but I think that in total that should be the case although you should
00:41:56
Brian Atlasexpect later on in the relationship to maybe split those duties a little bit well you said hold on you said that if somebody is asking for your time then then it should fall on them to
00:42:07
Brian Atlaspay for the bill however I mean that that's that's convenient but generally speaking men are going to be the ones who are asking for said time
00:42:17
Brian Atlasokay but due to social what's that females do too of all the first dates that occur in let's say the past 10 years if you had to assign a percentage
00:42:30
Brian Atlasamend initiating versus women initiating I'd give you 30 70. 30 of women are initiating dates I'd say 37. I'd say it's 99. I'd say 99 of First
00:42:42
GabbyDates is it's the guy asking for the date 99.99 99 now I'm not really like maybe 90s to 80.
00:42:53
Dionpercentage-wise okay fine let's say it's 90. let's say it's 90 I'm still better than that I think it doesn't matter who asked in my traditional
00:43:04
Diongonna be a gentleman he's gonna pay if he's not gonna pay then that's your sign he's he's not gonna take care of you he's a little boy and in the future
00:43:14
Dionwhen you guys are like get together for longer than yeah spoil him buy whatever buy this yes too yeah but on the first
00:43:25
Diondate that's your sign either he's he's a gentleman or he's not like what if if you think about it that deep what if it's like some trans people
00:43:36
Dionthen who's gonna who's gonna pay for it then but in my traditional opinion if it's a man and a woman a man should pay for for it okay well trans people are like one percent of the population so it's kind
00:43:47
Dionof irrelevant but so what what was your point after that though if if it's a date with the man and woman whoever asked the man should why the first date just well you believe in I I assume you believe in traditional
00:43:59
Nikkigender roles right yeah but how many women are not traditional I'd say the majority of women are not traditional times if you guys don't change then what is it like what's the point I I can only speak
00:44:12
Brian Atlasfor myself like if it's some lesbians then I don't know I can't speak for them let's let's stick to heterosexual relationships the man should pay okay because I know that is a good point
00:44:22
Dionthough pays the bill in that situation and I'm looking for somebody who can I mean I like to make my own money I've always been very independent I've been financially independent since I was like 14 years old and I like to work I like
00:44:35
Dionto do my own thing and provide for myself but I'm also I know I'm looking for somebody who can lead me and that involves like being financially stable
00:44:45
Brian Atlasand taking that first step yeah let me just clarify if you as a woman you are a traditional woman I don't I don't object to women having a let's say an expectation or a desire for
00:44:57
Brian Atlasa man to pay on the first date however you must be TR for you to have that standard you ought to be a traditional woman if you're not a traditional woman you should not expect men to adhere to their traditional gender roles yeah that
00:45:10
Brian Atlaswouldn't make sense at all like if if you're all about feminism and gender equality I'm not saying you specifically but just peop women in general if you're all about feminism and gender equality
00:45:20
Brian Atlasand you know Progressive politics whatever then you cannot recoil at the very idea of gender roles but then expect men to pay because men paying is
00:45:31
Diona gender role no I think there should be different standards I I'm I don't want to be treated like a guy I don't want to be held to guys you know standards just like I'm sure a guy wouldn't want to be
00:45:43
Nikkitreated like a girl hell to a girl I think there's differences and they should be treated like that I feel like I should add on to that but in any ways it's kind of similar but I'd
00:45:55
Nikkisay as a guy and you're you're trying to get into a relationship you're trying to have that person till marriage so that was part you know yada yada yada and I feel like as like a female or another partner
00:46:07
Nikkiyou're waiting for like you're trying to share responsibility as in like taking care of a kid financially and like you just want to be stable with that person but on a first date I don't feel like the guy should pay for everything I mean
00:46:20
Nikkiespecially if I'm getting to know him if I'm not feeling the date yeah I believe in like split pay but if he's trying to show that he's trying to get into relationship with me if he's trying to move forward and like have that
00:46:32
Nikkicommitment with me I believe that the guy should be paying to show me that he cares women and men they look for different things I know for me I don't look for a I look for a man who can be
00:46:44
Dionlike a provider and I'm sure men look for a girl who can be loving and nurturing so it's like I'm men don't care about your status if you have like a great career at least I
00:46:56
Diondon't think they do so why would they care if I can pay the bill or not that doesn't mean I can't but why would they care on the first day why would the what why would they care on the first date
00:47:09
Dionyeah why would why would a man want a woman to pay I feel like if I was a man
00:47:18
Brian AtlasI don't think that's what men want but I think what what strikes me is something that's equal is you pay for your food he pays for his okay but if he's hitting on
00:47:27
Gabbyyou then he should also be having that initiative and pay my bill like why are you backing out like I would just go forward for the first date you know
00:47:38
Gabbymaybe don't go to like some crazy restaurant that you're gonna have this giant Bill and then when it comes to the end of the meal we're kind of like okay
00:47:47
Gabbylike do we split this do we not yeah maybe just get something simple
00:47:56
Dionlike I would dating is literally like getting to know somebody like dating data yeah exactly so it's like go on a walk or you know yeah that is true you can have a first date without spending
00:48:08
Taylormoney it doesn't have to be like this super luxurious thing I think there was a bit of a misinterpretation on my point I think it's contingent on who invited who it's not I'm not necessarily talking about specifically gender roles as far
00:48:20
Tayloras my opinion goes but I do know that a lot of people people function with the with those roles and in a lot of other cultures it's very commonly practiced
00:48:28
Taylorbut I think that like to to to your point if you have traditional if you if you have if you have a traditional Outlook or if you expect
00:48:39
Taylortraditional Fellowship through through that role then I think that you also have to reciprocate it on the same level I think that you do need to make sure that you guys are both on the same page
00:48:51
Tayloras far as who's going to be doing what but I definitely think that there is a little bit of room to kind of discuss what those terms are the more that you get to know here we actually have a
00:49:02
Brian Atlasvideo about this Eric can you pull up that mismatch video that's uh oh is that the lady in her car yeah yeah we uh
00:49:13
Sophiaokay go ahead I've never seen this before I've seen it as well so watch it's like about liberal men is it gonna
00:49:24
Gabbyplay you might have to refresh as a conservative man man but just not be concerned yeah probably fix
00:49:33
Brian Atlasit yeah okay ah I want Amanda to pay for me and he needs to take me out but he also has to respond here actually before you play it can we just I I don't know
00:49:47
Brian Atlasbefore we play it um just show of hands do you think just uh should the guy pay on the first date raise him high if you think the guy
00:49:57
Brian Atlasshould pay on the first date yes yes you're like iffy okay everybody here they think okay and then just a follow-up question who here at least like maybe your politics wise considers
00:50:11
Brian Atlasthemselves maybe a bit more on the liberal side believes in gender equality maybe even considers themselves a feminist show of hands just YouTube I wouldn't consider myself
00:50:22
Brian Atlasa feminist well I'm pretty moderate I wouldn't say I'm liberal but I'm like in between okay so you're a feminist in fact I if I were calling our notes you consider yourself a radical feminist oh
00:50:33
Sophiayeah what does that mean to be a radical feminist you well radical everybody get clipped I'm scared
00:50:45
Sophiajust go ahead I'm just gonna get clipped well like I'm just trying to think of how to explain this
00:50:55
Sophiaum I say I'm a radical feminist because like I agree with a lot of their views and so you want me to like tell you those views
00:51:06
Sophiaor rights to start listing some ideas like or like some kind of so okay well okay okay okay what what's your definition of feminism to start
00:51:17
Brian Atlasum well to what does it mean to be a feminist and then I suppose you consider yourself a radical feminist so that's another component um yeah
00:51:28
Sophialike what it means to be a feminist sure well to be a feminist I guess it means for I don't know exactly how to explain this
00:51:39
Sophiabut um so why do you consider yourself radical feminism give her a chance go ahead because I like what are the values exactly
00:51:52
SophiaI mean one thing maybe it's just me but I think porn should be illegal that's fair okay that is a feminist position sure yeah
00:52:02
Brian Atlasand um I mean there is kind of like Equity that just one point of clarification on that when you say porn should be illegal do you mean it should
00:52:11
Brian Atlasbe illegal to make legal to consume what um not exist okay what about prostitution should that be illegal
00:52:21
Brian Atlasnow question on the prostitution thing should it be illegal for men should the men be uh prosecuted or should the women be prosecuted assuming it's a woman
00:52:32
Brian Atlaswho's a prostitute well the guy who's spying or the pimp well okay you could be a prostitute and not have a pimp I'm saying so there's the prostitute and then there's the guy who's
00:52:46
SophiaThe Prostitute it shouldn't be illegal to be a prostitute but it should be illegal too we'll do that in Nevada I think they've done that in some places I realized it
00:52:56
Brian Atlasbut zero accountability and so like they're all going now okay but then so you were making some other points too as far as far as some of the values that
00:53:06
Sophiayou uh believe in related to feminism but um one thing is I
00:53:17
Sophiaas I opened than the prostitute
00:53:21
Brian Atlasyeah we already got that but what are the other values besides the you said make porn legal and then I think we have a way that we can jump into this hold on just let her speak go ahead well um
00:53:37
GabbyI mean I'm kind of into like the equity thing okay anything else I'm trying to think the the equity thing um well okay here did you have something
00:53:47
Gabbyyeah so how do you feel about the wage Gap do you believe there's a wage Gap quote unquote over me you think that there is a wage Gap there
00:54:00
Gabbyis a way to go why do you think that that is what do you mean why do you I think I'm like ready I'm ready to jump yeah why do you think that there's a wage Gap
00:54:11
Gabbylike why do you what is the reasoning that you think that there is a wage Gap like why what yeah like what what do you think caused the wage Gap like the wage Gap that you think that there is between
00:54:24
Brian Atlasmen and women what do you think the cause of that is and also do you do you want to tell us what what is the wage Gap
00:54:36
Brian Atlasfor what working in across the board so in in all Indus in every single industry in every single job you cannot find a single woman who's
00:54:46
Brian Atlaspaid more than a man for example or are you saying on the average um
00:55:01
Sophiayou believe it exists um yeah okay I mean I used to not believe it exists so you used to be based but then it
00:55:10
Nikkistill does I'm just gonna say it doesn't um as a female there should be that line and like that Gap as a female you should
00:55:21
Nikkibe like working harder like yeah like you should have that ideal you should have the ideal image to be like okay these guys are like working harder than me what the [ __ ] am I doing wrong here
00:55:32
Brian Atlaslike let me try to help so what how much is the wage Gap isn't it like three dollars um what three what do you mean three dollars so like a man makes three dollars and a woman makes one or what do
00:55:45
Sophiayou mean I was it three percent but um because there is a article or something on that yeah there's a lot I don't know your facts straight and I don't think you should be representing something that you don't really have
00:55:57
Dionyour facts straight and you have a person given like a reason or like opinion or I don't know where you stand or why you stand there I would want to argue back but I I don't even understand what you're saying you don't even I'm sorry I'm not trying to knock you I'm
00:56:11
Nikkijust saying that there's no such thing as a way to Gap yeah obviously there's like there's female rappers right now that are disproving that as we speak there's female nurses female doctors that have more money than guys that's
00:56:23
Sophiaalready way disproven because wait what did you guys mean in wage Gap that's what you brought up in the wages but you're aware of it and you believe well no okay because are we talking
00:56:37
Sophiadominating things and you know the money thing well she brought it up so if you want to go ahead well okay so
00:56:48
GabbyI guess like the traditional argument that I hear the most is sports you know like oh well women's basketball players don't get paid as much as men
00:56:57
Dionbasketball players do well there's a reason for that you know well I think she needs to explain because feminism isn't it like a universal thing
00:57:09
Dionthere's so many different opinions about it so if she's not even saying what she agrees with or why she believes that then we can't just be you know talking but we shouldn't bring up something that