Gold Digger SHAMES Broke Men?! GODLY OF Girl?! Fiancé GHOSTED Her?! | Dating Talk #125

Date: 2023-12-06
Duration: 6h 59m

Identified Speakers

SPEAKER_02Bidd(guest)
SPEAKER_03Jordan(guest)
SPEAKER_05Nicole(guest)
SPEAKER_06Ella Fredman(guest)
SPEAKER_07Brian Atlas(host)
SPEAKER_08J'Quan(guest)
SPEAKER_09Q (The Quill) / Jordan (mixed)(guest)
SPEAKER_11Nikki(guest)
SPEAKER_13Courtney(guest)
SPEAKER_14Shelby(guest)

Key Moments

00:03:14
IntroElla Fredman introduces herself: 24, hair business owner, TikTok content creator on femininity, level-up, and hypergamy.

hi guys um Ella fredman um I'm a hair business owner primarily and I also make TikTok uh content based on femininity level up and hypergamy

00:05:49
IntroBidd introduces herself: 20, fundraising for charity, San Diego, CA.

hi my name is Bid I'm 20 I do fundraising for charity

00:06:33
IntroShelby introduces herself: 21, fundraising and operations manager, San Diego.

hi I'm Shelby I'm 21 um I am a fundraising and operations manager I'm also from San Diego

00:06:43
IntroNikki introduces herself: 27, born and raised LA, bartends, models, and does 'other things' including OnlyFans.

hi I'm Nikki I'm born and raised in LA and I'm 27 all right uh occupation I bartend I model um I do other things

00:07:14
IntroNicole introduces herself: 20, communications major at UCSB, from San Francisco area.

hi I'm Nicole I'm 20 and I'm a communication major at UCSB and I'm from the San Francisco area

00:07:38
IntroCourtney introduces herself: 20, beverage cart attendant at golf course, Northern California.

I currently work at a golf course as a beverage cart attendant

00:07:47
IntroJordan introduces herself: 37, senior general manager for Fox Restaurants group, Arizona.

I am Jordan I'm 37 and I am a senior general manager for a Fox Fox uh restaurants

00:08:08
IntroQ (The Quill) introduces herself: 30, behavioral scientist, certified relationship coach, YouTuber, book author.

the quill I'm 30 years old behavioral scientist certified relationship coach YouTuber book author

00:21:10
RelationshipShelby reveals she has been single for 3 days: her fiance proposed on her 21st birthday two weeks ago, then orchestrated her removal from the apartment and left via handwritten note, taking his belongings and blocking her everywhere.

I just turned 21 about 2 weeks ago on November 18th and he proposed to me on my birthday which was you know it was cool everything was great um and then on Sunday was our anniversary... I came back and all of his stuff was gone and he left a note

00:30:44
QuoteShelby on karma for her fiance: 'Karma's definitely going to get his ass and I'm going to be behind it... I played the long game buddy.'

Karma's definitely going to get his ass and I'm going to be behind it for sure how don't know yet got to plan it got to wait for a few years though so they don't suspect it's me

00:59:00
QuoteBrian to Nikki: 'God first [Instagram bio] right here's a link to my OnlyFans — that's not it, doesn't make sense to me.'

God first right it's just like God first right here's a link to my OnlyFans like that's not it doesn't make sense to me

01:02:36
Key MomentNikki states she would go to heaven regardless of her OnlyFans work because God loves her unconditionally; extended debate with Brian about reconciling 'God first' bio with pornography.

God loves me no matter what I do God will always no matter what you do yes I firmly believe that in any decision I make I think God is with me and loves me

01:21:54
Key MomentElla Fredman's TikTok clip reacted to: 'ladies you're put on this earth to live in comfort and luxury, don't let a broke man convince you otherwise.'

remember ladies you're put on this Earth to live in comfort and luxury don't let a broke man convince you otherwise

01:25:00
Key MomentElla: 'if he can't provide for you then he's not worthy of trust — don't trust him with your heart nor your body.'

if he can't provide for you then he's not worthy of trust don't trust him with your heart nor your body

01:40:00
ControversyNicole calls Shelby's argument about self-respect 'stupid'; Shelby and Nicole have a heated exchange over whether high standards would have prevented Shelby's situation.

you're just sounding fucking stupid... you're talking about things you have no idea about

03:10:00
QuoteSelf-ratings round: rapid-fire sequence — '10, 5, 5 and a half, 8.5, 10, 10, 6.5' from guests; Brian then rates himself a 5.

10 five five and a half eight and a half 10 10 6.5 I'm going go with a six today okay I used to say I was a six but I've gained a little bit of weight so I'm a five

05:19:00
QuoteBrian on why he doesn't pursue girls who are still dating other men: 'The moment I go on a first date with a girl, if you want a second date with me, it has to be a wrap with every other guy you're seeing.'

the moment I go on a first date with a girl if you want a second date with me it has to be a rap with every other guy you're seeing

05:41:00
Key MomentJ'Quan argues women develop more trauma than men because they have more unrealistic expectations; when not met they take a deeper hit. Men's acute trauma (especially infidelity) sharpens them and makes them better with women, whereas women's trauma makes them less attractive.

women take on more trauma than men do because women have more unrealistic expectations in relationships which means when their expectations aren't met their goals aren't met they take much more of a hit

06:38:30
OtherNikki confirms she would lie about her body count if asked by a potential partner.

I probably lie though ooh I probably lie about my number my number is not high or nothing I would just lie

Topics Discussed

00:00:09
Guest introductions and relationship statuses

Brian introduces guests. Ella: single 2 months, still in business contact with ex. Bidd: married at 18, effectively separated for ~1 year, currently in 3-month relationship. Shelby: single 3 days (fiance left via handwritten note). Nikki: single, doesn't believe in marriage. Nicole: single. Courtney: single 2 years. Jordan: single almost 5 years. Q: single, unmarried, dates when she wants. J'Quan: single.

00:20:00
Shelby's fiance ghosting story

Shelby, 21, describes how her fiance proposed on her 21st birthday (Nov 18), then 2 weeks later orchestrated her being taken out by Bidd while he removed all his belongings and left a handwritten Crayola marker note. Blocked her everywhere except email. Brian speculates he had safety concerns due to Shelby's previous retaliation against an ex who stole her truck, cat, and $6,000. Attempts to call/reach the fiance via Instagram; he declines. Debate over whether ghosting/leaving a note is an acceptable breakup method.

01:10:00
High value men and women — standards debate

Nicole explains why she considers herself a high-value woman (education, fitness, religion, selectivity). Brian challenges her on going to bars and using a fake ID. Ella argues women with high financial standards attract better men and that men who provide comfort and luxury will always exist for women who demand it. Brian and others push back that most households require dual income. Debate over whether expecting men to pay for everything is a standard or just entitlement.

01:20:00
High value women and going to bars/clubs

Nicole defends going out to bars and clubs as a college student. Brian argues women going to clubs are passively advertising and marketing themselves for male attention (men are salesmen, women are marketers). J'Quan argues club attendance is essentially validation-seeking. Nicole and Courtney argue women go for fun and social bonding, not necessarily to find men. Brian states he doesn't date women who go to bars/clubs. Nikki notes women get in free because venues use them as an offering to paying male customers.

01:20:00
Monogamy, polygamy, and Universe 25 rat study

Bidd references the Universe 25 experiment (rat utopia study) to argue modern humans may be experiencing societal decay akin to rats who had everything provided. Panel and Brian debate its applicability. Jordan argues the study shows easy times create weak men (male rats became feminized). Nicole and Brian argue technology is a bigger factor than abundance. J'Quan argues monogamy is still the dominant pairing mechanism (serial monogamy, average relationship ~17 months). Brian dismisses rat-based social science.

01:30:00
Gold digging and women's financial expectations

Ella's TikTok clips are reacted to: 'if he can't provide for you he's not worthy of your heart or body'; 'ladies you're put on this earth to live in comfort and luxury'; 'I don't care what a dusty has to say.' Brian and J'Quan critique the messaging. Ella defends that women with financial expectations raise men's ambitions and that her father was a sole provider for her family. Economics debate: most households need two incomes. Nicole and Shelby argue Ella's standards create entitlement; Bidd argues Ella's standards might have prevented Shelby's situation.

03:10:00
Self-ratings (looks scale 1-10)

Brian asks each guest to rate their looks 1-10. Rapid round: results include 10, 5, 5.5, 8.5, 10, 10, 6.5 (order corresponds to seating). Brian rates himself 5 (gained weight, pale). Extended debate about whether rating yourself a 10 is delusional. J'Quan and Q argue there are objective markers of attractiveness across cultures. SPEAKER_05 (Nicole) defends rating herself 10 as a mindset for attracting opportunities. Jordan argues it is delusional. Ella argues projecting a 10 energy attracts 10 treatment.

03:20:00
Nikki's OnlyFans and 'God first' contradiction

Brian notices Nikki's Instagram has 'God first' in the bio directly above the link to her OnlyFans. Extended debate over how she reconciles being a Christian/Godly woman with creating pornographic content. Nikki argues God loves her unconditionally. Ella argues if you habitually practice sin you are not a child of God. Jordan says God doesn't approve but will forgive. Bidd defends the concept of grace and forgiveness. Brian argues pornography creates lust (one of the seven deadly sins per Matthew 5:27-28). Nikki refuses to reconcile it, stating she is not ashamed.

04:10:00
Dating multiple people and exclusivity timelines

Ella advocates women date multiple men without sleeping with them to compare options. Brian states if a woman wants a second date with him, all other men must be done after the first date. J'Quan explores the competitive angle — some men will fight harder knowing there is competition. Debate over when to have the exclusivity conversation. Nikki says she's basically okay dating freely until explicit exclusivity is agreed upon. Nicole says feelings emerging is the signal. Brian states first-date exclusivity is his personal policy.

04:50:00
Women's trauma vs. men's trauma in relationships

Brian proposes women develop more relationship trauma because they choose exciting/dangerous 'bad boy' men (dark triad traits, criminality-adjacent). Q (The Quill) supports this: people tend to date partners who remind them of difficult parents. Nicole agrees this was her experience. J'Quan argues women take on more trauma because they have more unrealistic expectations; men's acute trauma (especially infidelity) sharpens them and makes them better at setting standards, whereas women's trauma makes them less attractive and less willing to engage.

06:20:00
Men vs. women physical strength debate

Bidd claims women can become stronger than men with enough training and the right hormones. Brian and others push back. Q/J'Quan reference world record lifting disparities. Brian shows infographic: high school boys outperform female Olympic athletes in sprint and field events. Bidd eventually concedes naturally men are stronger but argues steroids narrow the gap. Curtis Leon (donor) cited Marine Corps experiment showing female Marines could not lift artillery rounds that 170lb male privates could.

06:35:00
Body count round

Brian asks each guest for their body count. Ella: declines. Bidd: 3 (men); Shelby implies higher total including women (~9: 6 women + 3 men). Shelby: declines formally. Nikki: would lie about hers. Nicole: 3 (Brian recalls ~4 from prior appearance). Courtney: declines. Jordan: declines. Q/J'Quan: decline or are pressed. J'Quan and Q self-rated 6.5 in looks.

06:56:40
Closing remarks and wrap-up

Brian wraps up after nearly 7 hours. Nicole says the biggest takeaway is being open to criticism and communication. Brian teases upcoming Thursday debate: Trent Horn and Lyla Rose vs. Destiny and Jasmine Jafar.

Transcript

Page 6 of 8
04:43:41
Nikkihave sex before marriage too so you're sinning as well so what does my sin make a difference between yours I think there's there's because bring it on myself just because I have it on me doesn't make me any different from you
04:43:54
Biddit says in the Bible that all sins are created the same so no matter which sin you're doing it's all going to be the same I think there are some that I mean no if you read in the Bible if you've
04:44:06
Biddread the Bible you would know that it literally says that all sin is treated equally in the eyes of the Lord a sin is a sin no matter what it is I'm not claiming to be like perfect and holy but
04:44:16
Brian Atlaslike it's very like but you just said that there were de s but in God's eyes there F then I take the L on that specific statement that I said in any
04:44:26
Brian Atlascase it's just to me it's like okay you've got a you're wearing a Christian cross you've got a cross tattoo Nick P up the Instagram again you've got God first yes on your
04:44:38
Brian AtlasInstagram and right below it is the link to your link tree or whatever that links to your only fans where you're doing porn and you're nude and you're you're
04:44:49
Brian Atlasit's lust the link in BIO go off and then furthermore I mean your photos are pretty revealing yeah it's a
04:44:59
Brian AtlasMarketplace but like God first I don't reconcile I I don't know how you Recon Nick scroll down on the Instagram a little bit let's just see bro it's like
04:45:09
Brian Atlasbooty booty booty is this God first is this Godly is this like you're gorgeous oh thank [Music] you it's just like bro it's it does it
04:45:20
Nikkimatter it's just her I'm not seeing heril anything wrong she's just just the glaring contradiction is what he's pointing out what I use my Instagram for
04:45:31
Nikkiis basically like a billboard for for example like I'm I'm I'm basically trying to Allure or like bring in people
04:45:42
Nikkito subscribe to my only fans so I'm promoting it or like making it like a market right so I'm sorry that I'm using my Instagram as a business maybe you
04:45:53
Nikkiguys use it as like a personal social whatever it is personally oh I'm getting to that I personally use it as a business right that's just a business
04:46:03
Nikkifor me God is not going to shame me or like not accept me because I decided to do
04:46:10
Nikkione business Choice like I it's not he's not going to not love me or not accept me does so I mean this is I think this
04:46:21
Brian Atlasis one of the complaints of a lot of religion if your religion stands for nothing if you don't if the the the followers of the said religion do not
04:46:31
Brian Atlasadhere to the religious principles uh then what really if you're not following the doctrine where's the like where is the
04:46:44
Biddsystem I'm not a bad person for doing only fans let me make pornographic content do you but do you know like the actual like like what is being Christian like what does it
04:46:56
Brian Atlasentail there's there's a there's Christian doctrine there's ways in which you should move if you're a religious person and those but not even Christian people are perfect like that like
04:47:07
Brian Atlasnobody's perfect sure but like it seems to me like a pretty glaringly a pretty
04:47:16
Nikkiglaring like how it's so it's such a glaring you try to tear me down about that but I stand firm in that like I still believe that I am a woman of God
04:47:29
Brian Atlasand I love God and God is first God first right it's just like God first right it here's a link to my only fans like
04:47:38
Brian Atlasthat's not it doesn't make sense to me you're a bad [ __ ] girl you're fine oh yeah no to actually reference like so there's a
04:47:48
Brian Atlasthere's a Matthew 52728 the purpose of pornography is to create lust lust is one of the seven deadly sins therego it is sinful okay but what does it say right after the Ten
04:48:00
BiddCommandments and why did Jesus die on the cross literally everyone is going to sin yes it could be sinful but guess what so is talking crap on anyone so is wanting the Nintendo switch that your
04:48:12
Biddneighbor has so is wanting the Tesla that your neighbor has so is everything everyone is going to sin and sinning is a part of life that is why Jesus died on the cross and that is the whole point of the Christian religion is to acknowledge
04:48:24
Biddthat you're sinning realize what's going on apologize to God and realize that no matter what you're never going to be better than anyone one else we're all in this fight together and we just all need
04:48:36
Brian Atlasto support each other yes we are human and we will all sin that is not permission to sin you have to work it's a call it's a
04:48:45
Biddcall to be vigilant of our thoughts and actions okay but if you're sinning to make a living for yourself that's wrong how because it's a it's a continued
04:48:57
Biddpattern of behavior so you don't think that God understands that you're doing it for your own Survival in order she she can survive without doing only
04:49:07
Brian Atlasfans okay but it's probably not going to be as convenient are you kidding me just be you think just because something's difficult that it shouldn't be done I don't think that I'm just saying that if
04:49:18
Biddsomeone has an option to make their lives functional for them and they find something that works for them and they're making an income for themselves good for them and God obviously gave her
04:49:30
Biddthe opportunity to do so everything happens for a reason who gave her the opportunity to do only no no actually who's to say who's to say that this isn't years down the line that
04:49:43
Biddthis isn't going to be an Awakening and opening a door for something else in the future poor what no not not what I meant I actually understand what she's saying so like for instance maybe other
04:49:54
Biddagencies maybe other markets there's a lot of things that only fans can open up a door to and to be honest if God led her to this St God has a plan for
04:50:04
Biddeveryone and everyone has a path I'm I'm not saying I'm perfect no I'm not saying that you're saying you're perfect but your whole thing is oh like how would God feel how would God feel none of us
04:50:14
Biddknow how will know how God will feel but what we do know is like he literally sent down his only son to die on the cross for our sins yeah but that doesn't mean you
04:50:25
Nikkicontinually engage in Behavior the difference that if I didn't have that in my bio or if I if I wasn't wearing this if I didn't like is is that the difference that I'm just like branding it what's the what is like the thing
04:50:37
Brian Atlasthat's like bothering you about it it's you're wearing a cross you've got a cross tattoo you have I'm just Secret Of
04:50:46
Brian AtlasGod literally a line above your link to your only fans to your porn says says what God God first you're clearly not
04:50:57
Brian Atlasputting God first because if we habitually continually hold on if we if we habitually and continually constantly joyfully and frequently practice sin we
04:51:09
Ella Fredmanare not children of God and I that's a little note I had here but that that's true um I'm not I'm Christian I'm not the perfect Christian whatsoever
04:51:19
Ella Fredmanum you can still love God but if you want to build a relationship with God if you want to be connected to God you have
04:51:29
Nikkito let go of sin you have to sacrifice your your flesh me and connection with God is like this honey nobody at this panel or table is going to does God want you to do porn no what who however I
04:51:42
Nikkitalk to God or however my relationship is with God or whatever my conversations were with God it doesn't matter it's nobody else's opinion but mine it's my relationship with
04:51:53
ShelbyGod at the end of the day I don't think God is okay with what you're doing but I do think he'll forgive you so that's fair that could be a fair way to put it
04:52:02
Brian Atlashe forgive you but you disagree oh no I he oh okay Lincoln bio oh my God bro this is the most [ __ ] Haram [ __ ] ever Haram um
04:52:15
Brian Atlasokay um we have Bridget Bridget is it Bridget or bit bit like a bird um let's see [ __ ] we're really behind here on okay I wanted okay we're going to probably end up going a
04:52:26
Brian Atlaslittle late but uh part of me really wants to talk to you guys so you know that not everyone who wants equality is stupid honestly I feel as though even I could rebuttle your points better than any of these other women who have
04:52:37
Biddliterally no points whatsoever um did you want to expand on that there was just it was like in your very beginning of your podcast tilt your mic so sorry just tilt it down tilt it
04:52:49
Bidddown a little bit um it was in the very beginning of your podcast more yeah go ahead okay it was in the very beginning like when you first started your podcast
04:52:58
BiddI watch you a lot on YouTube um there was this one girl and I think you had asked like is it like um it was something about how um you know women
04:53:11
Biddalways want to be like taken care of you know have their stuff paid for etc etc and you were like oh kind of like what if like I think you said what if like that like a man were to want that or
04:53:22
Biddsomething like that okay and the woman was like oh like that's wrong like blah blah blah and you were like why and then crickets like she literally didn't say anything so that was kind of like the
04:53:33
Biddmain thing thing that I was looking back to um and once again like especially with that point specifically I feel again as both parties should be equal in
04:53:44
Biddall aspects you know when it comes to working yeah if you want you can either have a man having the higher payer job higher paying job or the woman having a higher paying job but what would benefit
04:53:56
Biddmost is if both parties were working and both having an income for the house to be able to invest it until Roth IRA into a retirement account into a trust fund and then once you have enough saved up
04:54:07
Biddtogether which it's going to be marginally easier to save up as a unit than it would be as a singular person individually making an income right use
04:54:18
Biddthat money that you saved up buy a house start a family and be able to retire early because you have a Roth
04:54:29
Brian AtlasIRA so you were you disagree with something a girl said on the show yeah oh okay cool good times good times oh wait going back to you um wait I have
04:54:40
Brian Atlasa question for who anybody here who has plastic surgery wait plastic
04:54:47
Brian Atlassurgery oh wait that means boobs or like cosmetic cosmetic surgery any enhancements anybody cosmetic surgery anything nothing nothing now my tonsil
04:55:00
Nikkiwas removed what do you have all like lips Botox in the face yeah anything else no nothing else a little
04:55:12
Nikkilipo here and there and a little lipo BBL no I actually did transfer no I actually did not oh my God if I got a he my ass stop
04:55:26
Nikkithis stop the cap no BBL no I work out like almost every single day why do you think she has a
04:55:41
ShelbyBBL is just cuz she has a fat
04:55:46
Brian Atlasass okay all right if you say so oh man okay okay let's see here we have uh Shelby oh don't you said in your Instagram it says prettiest girl in the graveyard are you a
04:55:58
Brian Atlasmortician I want to be oh okay but you're not like a in the funeral business business at all or no oh okay for some reason I thought you might have been employed in that thing um okay we T
04:56:10
Shelbyoh wait let me see if the the dude slid into DMS oh let's see the M Mr M who's somebody oh my God
04:56:28
Brian Atlasbro uh there was a guy who dm' me who said that Brit normally I don't do this but I'm trying someone says that you gave him head while you're were in a four-year
04:56:39
Biddrelationship who I'm not going to say what he asked me to keep his name PR it could be [ __ ] it could be some [ __ ] but I don't want to know who is this cuz I don't remember that
04:56:52
Brian Atlassays gave you gave him head while you're were in a four-year relationship I don't know sounds like you might have actually done that [ __ ]
04:56:59
Brian Atlasbut okay um okay let's see uh hold on um I lived in Oregon oh breakups and how to do it properly we kind of talked about that not being a coward and actually
04:57:11
Brian Atlasbeing a good person when taking care of hard [ __ ] how to do it properly um I think you've been dating somebody
04:57:20
Brian Atlasfor a while you know like a text is fair you know are you [ __ ] serious kind of that's pathetic that's the type of [ __ ] that makes girls go
04:57:32
Biddcrazy like genuinely you're a piece like a piece of [ __ ] for that what if you do a text yeah I feel girls do that [ __ ] too I feel like if you guys were yeah but the man had just proposed
04:57:43
Brian Atlasin front of her dad like not seem a little
04:57:49
Brian Atlasoff Perhaps Perhaps um let's see uh wait somebody said earlier that it was [ __ ] in response to something I said that it
04:58:01
Brian Atlaswas because of trauma I did oh yes what was it about was it about the it was not about the bar club thing it was something else no but I think she said it twice I think it was about like not being able to let over your ego and
04:58:13
Nicoleseeing guys as simps for being nice to women oh right you said it was like a trauma because Pride attached to you yeah no I don't think there's any
04:58:24
Brian Atlastrauma i' I've heard from other men though and I see a lot of men spending a lot of money on women that are not their girlfriends I think that's
04:58:35
Brian Atlassome simp [ __ ] I'm just mad you're not getting the money what's that you're just mad you're not getting the money no I it's not that I'm mad that I'm not getting some
04:58:46
Nicolestrangers money it's just like some simp [ __ ] do you guys think as men that Trauma from like past relationship
04:58:58
Nicolefollows men much more than women into future relationships because you guys don't have the same kinds of channels we do to like heal from that trauma or learn from it
04:59:09
Nicolelike do you guys think that your past negative experiences follow you guys more into your relationships than they do us we don't go to therapy we start podcasts um okay so that's how they
04:59:21
Brian Atlasstarted no I mean I I actually think uh I I think it's probably the reverse cuz men like as women start
04:59:33
Brian Atlasgetting more and more trauma they become more and more masculine typically and that typically makes women less attractive to Partners whereas I
04:59:41
Brian Atlasthink look trauma can break anybody but typically like trauma tends to make makes you a bit harder as an individual
04:59:51
Brian Atlasright you get a thick skin when you've gone through [ __ ] but like men we're attracted to women who are soft we don't
05:00:00
Brian Atlaswe don't want like a hard jaded woman tends to turn you a little sour whereas I think that impact on men while it can certainly sour men it gives men experience and it
05:00:13
Brian Atlashardens them and women are attracted to harden men women aren't attracted to soft boys so I think there's a differential there true I think it depends on the
05:00:23
Shelbywoman yeah I'm definitely not attracted to like hardcore men what do you mean hardcore men like hard men like you were saying That's not attractive so you prefer soft men I do who haven't
05:00:36
Shelbyhad who haven't struggled who haven't gone through adversity no of course but like men in touch with their emotions and able to actually communicate like a [ __ ] girl yeah I like that
05:00:47
Bidd[ __ ] being a hard man doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have gone through a bunch of hardship you can still be wise and have not gone through any
05:00:58
Biddhardship like you could have like a for instance you could have a guy grew up healthy relation like healthy family relationship right good Mom good Dad
05:01:09
BiddWent to went to high school finished everything great in his life goes to school has a career right raises a family finds a girlfriend you know like
05:01:20
Biddit you don't necessarily where was the wisdom acquired in everything you just said the wisdom what's the point yeah um let's see through schooling through family members teaching sharing their
05:01:31
Q (The Quill) / Jordan (mixed)experiences and then eventually once you have like the wife and the kids then you gain experience into fatherhood isn't wisdom typically acquired through firsthand
05:01:44
Biddexperience yes but that can also come from like work it doesn't necessarily have to be something that's super like hardship you know that comes with everyday life like um for instance he's obviously going to have to have a job
05:01:57
Biddhe's going to learn life skills at that job he's going to gain knowledge at that job he's technically going to go through hardships at whatever job he's going to go to cuz you're going to have to deal with stress you're going to have to deal with time management you're going to have to deal with renting your own place
05:02:09
Biddand just life in general how does that develop his relationship skills well is he can develop his relationship skills through
05:02:18
TTS/Donationsdating oh okay grid One Motorsports Don $200 it's grid one everybody getting out of most relationships is not trauma it's freedom and we rarely look back also
05:02:31
Brian Atlasreal men understand how how to deal with fear feelings and are not soy boys crying in the flat whites oh wait I just had I just had a total [ __ ] Epiphany I think there's a a really big
05:02:44
Brian Atlasdifferential and grid one thank you so much because that just like major [ __ ] light bulb went off in my head so are you guys familiar with this Trope of women being attracted to guys who are
05:02:54
Brian Atlasbad boys yeah like women will be writing letters to dudes in prison like serial killers and [ __ ] men really aren't doing that type of [ __ ] so when we're talking
05:03:06
Brian Atlasabout trauma like a guy will granted there's like women with BPD and that will [ __ ] ruin your life and [ __ ] uh men can definitely get like Trauma from dating a chick don't get me wrong
05:03:17
Brian Atlashowever I would argue that women a lot of women will specifically seek to date bad boy types
05:03:29
Brian Atlasjerks [ __ ] whatever because these men typically Ally tend to have dark Triad personality traits that a lot of women find attractive or they confuse for confidence um don't get me wrong
05:03:40
Brian Atlasthere's plenty of good men that are confident but like I would argue a lot of women would rather date like the bad boy who's a jerk but he's confident
05:03:49
Brian Atlasversus like the nice guy right so could it be could it be the case that women actually develop more trauma
05:04:00
Brian Atlasbecause of the very men that women choose to date because women are attracted to bad boys and jerks and [ __ ] whereas men we're typically
05:04:09
Brian Atlasattracted to like soft and kind women I mean like for example for example there's this uh thing called it's hristo is it
05:04:23
Brian Atlashristo let me just herophilus dilia
05:04:33
Brian Atlashopia meaning to perpetuate wait uh oh the phenomenon of an IND individual being sexually aroused by a criminal offender so this typically manifests
05:04:44
Brian Atlasitself more so in women than in men and so women are to some degree are attracted to the criminal not all women of course find to some degree criminality attractive in men because
05:04:56
Brian Atlasmen who have a propensity towards violence or criminality are more capable of defend defending you or have the capacity for violence and women find that attractive obviously I'm
05:05:08
Brian Atlasnot saying women want to be beaten or anything by men but you want a guy who's capable of protecting you in some sort of self-defense or violence situation so guy who has capacity for violence and this can be meant this can be evidenced
05:05:20
Brian Atlaslike if you're a violent criminal that could be attractive to women so could it be the case that women actually confer more trauma and baggage from their relationships because they're
05:05:33
Ella Fredmanattracted to men who might be toxic yes um one of the things that I learned
05:05:40
Ella Fredmanpsychology is that we tend to date ER whoever is reminding us of the most difficult parent so if that person
05:05:51
Ella Fredmanyou know um grew up having a difficult father um maybe he was absent or maybe he was abusive that person have the tendency to seek that you know those you
05:06:02
Ella Fredmanknow behaviors in you know their partners because you know subconsciously they're trying to like fix their relationship with the you know with their father through their partners and
05:06:14
Nicoleit's also because that's what they're comfortable it's all they've known yeah so it takes some experience to like teach yourself that's not what's normal and getting out of what you're
05:06:25
Nicolecomfortable with because you're used to that emotional instability you're used to that absence yeah used to like the manipulation just not having like
05:06:35
Nicolesomeone stable so those are organically like the types of people you originally attract but then you like can get out of that cycle you know and realize and come
05:06:46
Nicoleto like matters with the fact that that is why you previously liked people like that and that used to be like me previously like I used to like like boys
05:06:56
Nicolelike for so long cuz yeah cuz a family tra like that also I just I want to add on to my previous point I would argue
05:07:07
Brian Atlasthat perhaps women get more trauma and baggage from relationships because a lot of women pursue men that excite them in
05:07:16
Brian Atlassome way you often hear women almost need you need to have the vibe the chemistry The Click etc etc etc this sort of nebulous vague term the vi the
05:07:28
Brian Atlasvibe the chemistry The Click who is best capable of list iting that in women typically player dudes guys who are don't really give a [ __ ] about you [ __ ] jerks Bad Boys Etc it's a Trope
05:07:41
Brian Atlaslike this is this is a thing this is a stereotype women are attracted to Bad Boys okay well low self-esteem women are attracted to a lot of women there's even women who are high self-esteem women who I need a bad boy phase I need to date
05:07:55
Brian Atlasaround and date a whole bunch of different kinds of guys like I'm not saying all women but like there's certainly something to said that women are far more attract like women are much more willing to date a guy who
05:08:07
Brian Atlasdisplays criminality for example than the reverse I would argue um additionally I would say that typically you hear women complain about men being
05:08:17
Brian Atlasboring he's not funny like for example men don't have it very high on the totem pole of is she funny is she entertaining who's the guy who's going to keep you entertained and keep you on
05:08:29
Brian Atlasyour feet and keep you excited and keep that like dop mean uh keep that the the rush of excitement probably kind of toxic guys that kind
05:08:39
J'Quanof treat you a certain way so and and let me add um I hate using the term trauma I think trauma is one of these buzzword that's getting
05:08:49
J'Quanoverused I'm using to describe regular [ __ ] that occurs people break up people go through heartbreak as humans we're equipped to deal with heartbreak it
05:08:58
J'Quandoesn't mean it was trauma um and women take on more trauma than men do because women have more unrealistic expectations in relationships which means when their expectations aren't met their goals
05:09:11
J'Quanaren't met they take much more of a hit women have a heightened stress response they respond to stress differently than men they experience stress deeper than men and they're more deeply affected by the way they going to perceive relationships when they move forward
05:09:23
J'Quanafter they didn't meet their expectations in their previous dating experiences the most traumatic thing a man typically experiences with a woman is infidelity and and if you ask me when
05:09:35
J'Quana man experiences a certain level of acute trauma I'm going say acute because there's various types of trauma so acute trauma when a man experiences that acute trauma then what that does is that sharpens him that makes him more aware
05:09:47
J'Quanof the reality of female nature what women are capable of what women will do and that primes him to better deal with women in his future set boundaries that he didn't set in his first relationship
05:09:59
J'Quanuh have standards have preferences exhibit those things demonstrate those things things that he probably didn't do because a lot of men love really really naively when they first get into relationships they think women won't do
05:10:11
J'Quancertain things they think women aren't capable of doing certain things and then when that woman does it it's like oh [ __ ] like I got cheated on oh [ __ ] she
05:10:20
J'Quan[ __ ] me over now I know moving forward what to look for in women and that makes him more attractive because now he becomes the guy who's much more hardened
05:10:31
J'Quanemotionally he he becomes the guy who's not scared to tell a woman no he becomes the guy who's not scared to hold a woman accountable these are things that women actually respond to in men they they they like men like that do these things
05:10:43
J'Quanwhereas with women women will constantly curve men once they've experienced something traumatic I'm not going through that again I'm not doing that men ain't [ __ ] [ __ ] men those are the things you hear women say when they've
05:10:54
J'Quanbeen hurt so I think it affects women a little deeper than it does men and I think in Reverse it makes women less attractive to men and makes them less willing to get in relationships whereas
05:11:06
J'Quanmen it preps them more for the reality and the brutality that comes with dealing with women that they were unaware of prior to that that's my that's my opinion yeah often I don't often hear
05:11:18
Brian Atlasmen saying oh there there just wasn't the chemistry or there there wasn't the vibe The Click he's not she's not funny I need a I need a funny girl like guys aren't really saying that I think when women say there's no chemistry there's
05:11:31
Brian Atlasno vibe there's there's no lightning there's no butterflies there's no whatever it is he's boring translation he doesn't trigger my anxious trauma response which I confuse with
05:11:43
Brian Atlaslove yeah also like when it comes to men being funny your demands that men be funny or that men be entertaining or whatever like we should not be boring
05:11:55
Brian Atlaswe're not here to be your entertainment if you want entertainment go get Netflix but that's not our job I think in the relationship so um let me get through my notes Here uh hold on we
05:12:08
Brian Atlashave uh I want to go what's everybody uh type no we don't have to do everyone's type um I want to do that uh Jordan you said you haven't
05:12:18
Brian Atlasexact or you haven't exactly dated since 2019 yeah I haven't dated anyone since 2019 um you said modern dating culture is a
05:12:29
Jordandisaster um yeah um I mean it's all the online dating apps everything like that I feel like like I said before people are disposable now um everyone swipes on everyone we're
05:12:41
Jordandoing a first appearance like they see you for two seconds and they swipe on you I just think it's really strange I know not everybody is on the dating apps
05:12:49
Jordanor anything like that but it's just my opinion on dating now is it kind of stems from feminists I feel like they've ruined the dating culture they've really
05:13:00
Jordanruined men in general they're confusing men so I think men take out women and they don't really know what to expect women get all weird about I can get my door myself and but
05:13:13
Jordanyou also need to pay the bill and it's it's just it's really strange I think women are just confusing men so they're turning men feminized wait have you so you said you haven't dated since 2019 um
05:13:25
Brian Atlasso you've been like have you been celibate yes since 2019 yes 2019 20 four four years five years
05:13:35
Nicolealmost five almost five four five wow okay honestly I don't think it's women ruining men I really do agree that people are becoming disposable but I
05:13:46
Nicoledon't think it's women to blame I think who's to blame it's the extended use of technology in media that to these dating apps um people's false perception that
05:13:59
Nicolethey have many options and that there are way more attractive people than they are but also the false perception of themselves the sure yeah the false
05:14:08
Nicoleperception of themselves just the false perception all around and just that false belief that you could get someone else easily because you're seeing so
05:14:19
Nicolemany people you can interact with so many people but that person you might interact with when you stop the connection with the other one might not have a lot of the qualities that the other person did but you have this false
05:14:31
Jordanperception that but see that's what's weird to me is now people are juggling all of these guys and vice versa and to me that's weird I don't even understand how you can find that many people to juggle all at once like these people who
05:14:43
Jordanwill find rebounds like almost instantly has always been it's always it's always been very confusing to me um so for me dating I mean it was kind of like what we talked about earlier I mean once you
05:14:56
Jordango out on the second date to me I mean that kind of means you don't really talk to anyone else because you're I mean even considering going out again with someone it's like I to me I I I take it a little more seriously because
05:15:08
JordanI'm like I'm intrigued by this person now um so therefore all the other people on the sidelines are kind they're not as intriguing so like why would I waste my time but the fact that people are juggling so many different the whole I
05:15:21
Jordandon't know there's so many of the situationships now and I don't even understand how any of that works it just is very confusing to me but I agree technology is definitely playing a role
05:15:32
Jordanand uh what's happening in the dating world but I think feminists in general are the ones who are who are really ruining it what specific actions would you say that feminists do that ruin
05:15:44
Brian Atlasdating wait before you answer that and we will have her answer that I do want to go around the table on this do you consider yourself a feminist no
05:15:55
Biddnon-applicable what do you mean I'm just neither man I just want equality for everyone that makes sense like even the guys like oh in your notes
05:16:05
Brian Atlashere you said you were a feminist oh I did in your a politic apolitical
05:16:13
Biddfeminist cool I guess I'm that are you that's just the question I mean like I said like I don't know if it falls in line with feminist belief or
05:16:24
Biddwith traditionalist belief but I think that like like I've been saying this whole time everyone should work towards their goal equally and a relationship should be a partnership where both
05:16:35
Shelbyparties are equal and they both do help each other grow okay right sure so yeah I think okay I'm not like a hardcore
05:16:45
NicoleNazi kind of feminist but yeah I would say I'm a feminist okay no no not from what it has become yeah me
05:16:56
Brian Atlastoo same you okay obviously yeah I think I need some water um what was sorry your question
05:17:07
Nicolefor her was what specific actions do you feel as though feminists are doing that ruin like modern dating or contribute to the dating apps because it seemed like
05:17:19
Jordanyou were connecting feminist to dating apps well I think dating apps it's a contributing factor when I'm saying feminist and general um it's just that culture so it's the you know toxic
05:17:29
Jordanmasculinity women are very um I feel like they're trying to break men down um they want equality for everyone so long I feel like as they're on top of the
05:17:38
Jordanpyramid um like I said before they're confusing men so men are supposed to be the ones who go out and they approach you and they set up the date and you
05:17:49
Jordanknow the pressure is on for the men and um I feel like now women are kind of dominating that and men don't really know what to do because women are just like the whole Boss [ __ ] culture and
05:18:01
JordanI'm independent and I don't need you and I can do whatever I want it's it's just I think it's confusing the entire culture we need the gender roles back basically what I'm saying I think we do
05:18:12
Nicoletoo but I feel as though both men and women play a role in that in their own way I think the gender I think the gender roles were
05:18:23
Biddjust kind of crap only because like let's say like you were a good wife right let's say you did everything everything was perfect you have like
05:18:34
Biddthree kids right he leaves you don't have a job you have nothing how are you going to support yourself and your kids are you going to Lee off him and then just get child support like you're going
05:18:46
Brian Atlasto live off child support yes that's what women do through the brutal alimony system feed off of this man who decided to leave only yes that's exact how's the when you are maintaining your own son
05:18:58
Biddyour own blood versus nowadays we can have own job grow with our partner and then even if our partner does decide to leave we we can still raise the kids ourselves I'm pretty sure it's mainly
05:19:10
Brian Atlaswomen who initiate majority of the divorces yeah women typically are ending relation women typically end relationships and they typically are the ones initiating divorce it's like 80% of divorces are initiated by women so it's
05:19:22
Brian Atlasfunny to me because women constantly drone on and on men aren't willing to commit men are commitment phobic when you do get relationships when women do get Rel relationships when they do get commitment when they do get the ring
05:19:33
Brian Atlaswhen they do get the marriage they overwhelmingly end them it's not clear to me if women actually want commitment CU till death DS part has to mean something and frankly it doesn't well even though it
05:19:45
J'Quancan sometimes be a woman it's not always women right the majority majority of the time but it's not always is it 100% it don't it don't have to be majority sets
05:19:55
Biddthe precedent for his point okay but my point also is too so then if a woman leaves right and that's her choice that man can still support himself that man
05:20:06
Biddcan still continue to live correct but my point is if we had societal roles back and the man decided to leave then that would put a lot of women in Jeopardy of not being able to get a job
05:20:18
Jordannot being able to support their family because even child support isn't enough 100% of the time and we all know this especially depending on what state you're but that's cuz we're looking at marriage different now now we're looking at at marriage as an inevitable divorce
05:20:31
Jordanthat's what we're looking at it so when gender roles back in the day divorce was not common at all so there was never the threat or danger of that happening because they knew that if they left
05:20:42
J'Quanthey'd be [ __ ] they'd be [ __ ] yeah they'd be [ __ ] they'd have to pay to support a woman and their child no what incentive does a man have to leave a woman that he gets down on one knee and asks to be his wife and spend the rest
05:20:54
J'Quanof his life with there's a lot it depends on that man no no I've seen it happen multiple times in your opinion what would provoke a man to leave a
05:21:06
Biddwoman that he proposed to and wanted to be his wife in my opinion there's a lot of things there could be something new maybe they went to go use drugs maybe they found another partner maybe they
05:21:18
Biddgot cold feet and changed their mind maybe they all of a sudden decided hey you know what this was too fast for me I don't want to be a dad it happens all the time men typically don't leave relationships they just don't they
05:21:30
Biddtypically don't so do you have like the actual like statistic on like the percentage ratio of men to women that leave like the actual statistic
05:21:37
J'Quanpercentage from 2023 if if 70 to 80% of women initiate divorce that means what as so means that 30% of men that's still 30% of men when you think of how
05:21:50
Biddmany people are on the planet it doesn't matter what percentages those little percentages that you can think of are still billions of people compared to everyone in the world like if you're looking at the stat is it a global statistic or is it statistic from the US
05:22:02
J'Quanno that's the uh stat from the US but you assuming it's just Men actually the other percentage would be mutual the 80% is mutual no no 80% is
05:22:13
J'Quanthe 80% is women the the rest is mutual 20% they agree the both the man and the woman agree to leave the relationship or in the marriage so you're saying that 0%
05:22:23
J'Quanof the time a man will decide to CU that's what you just said not 0% but an overwhelming majority of the time it's the woman Le so your point doesn't hold much weight
05:22:35
Biddyou're saying majority of the time but my point is that it still happens of course it happens every now and then it's rare though and is it not harder but how does that support your point that supports my point cuz if we go back
05:22:47
Biddto being traditionalists like how are we going to support ourselves like I said because you're thinking about it on the wrong wavelength completely so you'd rather just like listen to the whim and
05:22:58
Bidddo whatever someone tells you to do like your you said before it's a partnership a marriage is a partnership yeah but how are how are you working as a partnership when you're not both working so it's going to take longer for you to save up
05:23:10
Biddbecause you have one person financially bringing in money and majority of that money is going to the child it's going to the mortgage it's going to the car it's going to you where's the savings where's the
05:23:22
Brian AtlasInvestments you see what I'm saying it's better if both no I don't think we're say wait wait I'm sorry I do have to move on because we're running low on time I finally want to get to Ella here she's been waiting very patiently we got
05:23:35
Brian Atlasa we got we got multiple videos of hers to react to so Nick pull up the Articles first Ella recently went viral of she's got some hot takes here uh Nick if you can pull it up I never this is is this
05:23:47
Brian Atlasthe first article in the in the list uh yes so this is from which publication Nick is this this was in April scroll up this is the independent wait no no no no
05:23:59
Brian AtlasSC I never SP scroll up a little bit I never split the bill people call me a gold digger but they've just got low standards uh scroll down just a
05:24:09
Brian Atlastab uh scroll so so I could read some of the article uh actually next we'll just look at the other ones this is from The Daily Mail can you Exile that thing in
05:24:19
Brian Atlasthe top left corner whatever um woman 24 who refuses to split the bill on any date slams critics who say she's a money hungry gold digger insisting men should
05:24:29
Brian Atlasreward the time and effort she puts in so she can look her best for them uh can you scroll up just a tad oh there's nothing up there never mind
05:24:40
Brian Atlasnext it's just the same article scroll up or make it bigger a little bit this is from the express I'm a proud gold digger I get what I want and women
05:24:50
Brian Atlasshould learn from my Dating Rules yeah sometimes with these Publications they definitely like to uh yeah put next one that was a video they they screenshoted mirror from the mirror I never split
05:25:03
Brian Atlasbill on date some say I'm a gold digger but it's a man's job and then finally the New York Post I never split the bill on dates women can learn from gold
05:25:12
Brian Atlasdiggers uh scroll up or make it bigger I mean yeah oh a little too big a little too big uh wait too small now God damn
05:25:23
Brian Atlasthe New York Post the [ __ ] ads scroll up oh sorry no up I'll just read the first first few paragraphs a new york-based influencer doesn't care that she's been branded a gold digger because she believes that
05:25:35
Brian Atlasmen should always foot the bill when it comes to dating as a matter of dignity influencer Ella Freeman fman fman 24 said that she would never go dutch on the date believing any man who would suggest such enragement isn't serious
05:25:48
Brian Atlasabout his role in the potential relationship by splitting the bill I'm agreeing to form a connection with a man who doesn't know his role in relationship and expects me to be 50/50 of the man he's not I've learned that men who split the bill don't value the
05:26:01
Brian Atlastime and effort a woman puts into herself to look her best for that man plus 50/50 men don't understand that the woman's Investments investment was made prior to the date the self-confident Singleton continued wait scroll up I
05:26:14
Brian Atlasdon't want to see that [ __ ] about the [ __ ] War um a little less so I can continue by uh the self-confidence Singleton continued by not agreeing to split the bill the woman keeps her
05:26:26
Brian Atlasdignity intact and avoids bad experiences with men so first off do you feel like the characterizations of some of those titles in those articles do you think they were Fair do you think they were kind of putting words in your mouth what are your thoughts on those and then
05:26:38
Ella Fredmanwe'll react to some of your videos I don't think they're fair but I know why they would you know write it like that it's sensationalist um it grabs people's
05:26:48
Ella Fredmanattention and Society hates gold diggers um and I think I don't think there's such a thing as a gold digger I think women are
05:26:59
Ella Fredmannaturally material real istic we're inclined to um seek for partners that are you know successful uh can provide can protect um and mislabeling U
05:27:12
Ella Fredmanlabeling that's how you say mislabeling mising labeling wrong well let's react to some of your Tik toks here so Nick wrong and it's just trying
05:27:21
Ella Fredmanto um humble woman for you know something that it's ingra ingraining our D DNA yeah
05:27:32
Brian Atlasmy first viral video uh go ahead you can play it if you haven't been called a gold digger at least three times in your life then your standards are too low um how
05:27:44
Brian Atlasmany times have you been called a gold digger countless countless times countless times after that video yeah how many times have you been a gold digger I've never been a gold digger I
05:27:55
Ella Fredmanhave I feel I have feelings cuz I feel like a gold digger you know doesn't care about anyone's feeling doesn't care about consequences
05:28:04
Ella Fredmanand it's only in it for the money I could never do that um for the next next I can't uh so we don't even need well we can play go ahead if you're not getting
05:28:16
Brian Atlasspoiled by men in your hometown come to Miami where millionaires pay your bills just because you're pretty I was is that your experience no it's not but what do you mean that you
05:28:27
Ella Fredmansaid it in your I said TI I said it excuse me um I don't know like everyone in M like everyone knows that in Miami it's for the girls like you get you know
05:28:37
Ella Fredmanstuff for free all the time like you can go with zero in your bank and still have fun so kind of sounds like life on easy mode oh like you know we live in a patriarchal society and like the little
05:28:50
Ella Fredmanways that we can benefit from it like we're um patriarchy okay um kind of sounds like female privilege a little bit I mean we already oppressed
05:29:02
Ella Fredmanso like leaving in like trying to dis meal P patriarchy and you know all of that stuff like great I'm not going you want to
05:29:12
Ella Fredmandismantle p no like uh you I admire people that do that wait you admire women that want to women that want to dis disal patriarchy of course yeah but
05:29:23
Ella FredmanI just I'm just not going to participate make it Mak sense but you want the patriarchy to be dismantled we already live in in in the patriarchal society I don't think so I think we live in a
05:29:34
Ella Fredmangynocentric I just don't want to live my life where I constantly have to fight against it if I can benefit from it you know what I'm saying like don't get mad
05:29:45
Ella Fredmanget paid kind of thing so wait you said you're oppressed like women are oppressed in a patriarchal society no so you're you're oppressed right now I don't
05:29:55
Ella Fredmanfeel I don't feel oppressed because I I enjoyed rights you know the same rights that men you know so which women are oppressed what did you say which women are oppressed if you're not in other
05:30:08
Brian Atlascountes a lot of we're talking about here oh yeah we're talking about the us because she said she asserts that there's a patriarchy in the United States airo if the patriarchy is oppressive I assume it's oppressing
05:30:19
Brian Atlaswomen so well going around the table do you got do you believe there's a patriarchy I think so yeah like yeah I don't know yes I don't know what
05:30:31
Brian Atlaspatriarch you mean that's fine I don't know no comment what do you mean no comment I don't know you just are you familiar with the the term
05:30:43
Brian Atlasthe patriarchy yes I am but you don't know if there is a patriarchy or you just don't want to would say it I guess I don't know they said I don't know and
05:30:53
Brian AtlasI agree why aren't you picking on them well you said no comment initially prefer not to talk
05:31:04
Brian Atlasabout okay no I'm just going to assume your position then and I'm going to assume that you believe there's a patriarchy if you choose to not comment on it that's just I'm just going to assume your
05:31:15
Brian Atlasposition the way I this isn't even like that controversial of it like this is mainstream like [ __ ] you hear in
05:31:29
Nicolecolleges are you like you're you you're not going to get cancelled honestly I personally haven't experienced the patriarchy but I believe maybe it exists in some parts of the
05:31:41
Nicolecountry or some people have experienced it but I'm not one to say that it does exist and is tangible but from my own life experience that's not a thing I think that still women and men play
05:31:53
Nicoledifferent like roles so I don't think there's anything wrong with that yeah we have it easier and men are able to take on challenges easier I think so
05:32:02
Nicoleespecially when it comes to making money I don't know that's what I think you're on a dating podcast like it's okay to have an opinion yeah that's what I think no I'm not talking to you I'm talking to
05:32:13
Brian Atlasyou oh I know so you're just going to no comments the conversation I I'm assuming you have some position on this yeah I do why did you want to come
05:32:26
Brian Atlastonight if you're not going to engage in the conversation have I not in not really well I apologize this me trying well this is me trying to reel you into the conversation and just saying no
05:32:38
Brian Atlascomment like okay whatever I'm not going to waste any more time on this I'm just going to move on um so okay tired under the patriarchy those of you
05:32:50
Ella Fredmanwho believe in the patriarchy do you think women are oppressed wait cor me if I'm wrong patriarchy is a society where is predominantly governed by men correct or not or how would you define p p question I
05:33:03
Brian Atlasmean there's a whole bunch of different I mean I've heard various different definitions of it but typically probably the more generous definition of it would
05:33:11
Brian Atlasbe a society where uh leadership positions top positions in corporations uh those who occupy
05:33:21
Brian Atlaspositions of power those in government uh are men typically okay I've heard it's a society built by men men for men
05:33:30
Ella FredmanI've heard that I've heard uh a couple other definitions of it but I mean you use the term we live in a patriarchal we we leave in a patriarchy because most of
05:33:42
Ella Fredmanthe presidents and governors happen to be men that's that not okay why do you think that
05:33:53
Brian Atlasis I don't know um could it could one of the reasons be because it sounds like you don't want to be in a relationship right how many women are like
05:34:06
Brian Atlasyou not a lot nowadays I feel woman more the modern woman I would say there's a lot of women who want to be stay at home and don't want to do 5050 and want a man
05:34:17
Brian Atlaswant go 50/50 huh I've seen I've seen a lot wom going trying to like want to well here's a simpler question what maybe some women don't want to go 50/50
05:34:27
Brian Atlasbut What proportion of women would prefer a guy to pay on the first date and be a provider okay not you we know you but I don't know the the statistics
05:34:39
Brian Atlasabout it um they have oops um why do you think it is that men do do
05:34:49
Brian Atlasyou think men are in these higher positions of power and high earning positions because of like some system
05:34:58
Ella Fredmanset up by other men to uphold other men um I think men are naturally very good at being leaders and um oh okay and
05:35:09
Brian Atlascommand and and you know um yeah and they're very organized I I so why would why would you want to dismantle the patriarchy that you believe exists if you think men are better leaders than
05:35:20
Ella Fredmanwomen but also we we cannot deny that you know years ago like in history women have been denied the same rights that men have been enjoying since you know
05:35:31
TTS/Donationsthe beginning of humanity okay Butler donated $200 if the girl in white is too tired to contribute allow me to wake her up
05:35:42
TTS/Donationsopen your mouth woman let me throw a ball into that catches M you call a mouth it might even cure your herpes Jesus Christ Butler crazy calm down
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Brian Atlasbrother holy [ __ ] I'm sorry I'm tired I this guy is on fire okay um well okay
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Brian Atlasso you want a guy to be a provider correct you don't want you want to when you get married how much of the household income do you want to be
05:36:13
Brian Atlascontributing 0% like MoneyWise yeah you want him to be the sole bread winner correct yes now do you and you you think you'll be able to get that correct yes
05:36:25
Brian Atlaslet me ask you a question how many men do you think can go out into the dating Marketplace is and want to provide zero financially and expect to get a partner
05:36:35
Brian Atlashe might want 50/50 he might be able to get it but he goes into it expecting to provide zero financially like a man expecting a
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Brian Atlaswoman to provide zero no no no how many men can go into the dating the dating marketplace with the expectation for a long-term partner that his his future
05:36:55
Brian Atlaswife will provide 100% of the financial resources I I don't know very very few what I can
05:37:07
Brian Atlasname one okay we're yes there's probably dudes that would be fine being stay-at home I would argue though that the vast majority of women as a lot of the women
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Brian Atlashere answered I want a guy who makes at least as much as me or more or it's I want a guy to be the Sole Provider so could it be the case that the reason reason men earn more than
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Brian Atlaswomen which is the wage gap's already been debunked but for the sake of argument let's assume that's not the case could it be that the reason that there's a patriarchy and that men occupy
05:37:41
Brian Atlasthe highest positions of power and the most desirable jobs and make the most money is because there's a mating pressure on men that does not exist in
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Brian Atlaswomen if it's your standard that you want you don't believe in 50/50 you want a guy to provide for you
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Brian Atlasthen that is a very real and Powerful mating pressure that exists on men that does not exist in women I would argue one of our greatest motivations in life
05:38:11
Brian Atlasfor both men and women is to find a partner and if it's women's standard that I want a guy to make as much as me or more or more more importantly if
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Brian Atlasthere's women out there a large cohort of women that want to guy to be a Sole Provider so bread winner doesn't it stand to reason that that creates a pressure on men that does not
05:38:34
Brian Atlasexist in women that men need to go out and make money and could it be the case that the more motivated you are to do
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Brian Atlassomething the the like the more likelihood you are to achieve that the better you so if there so if there is a patriarchy women created
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J'Quanit woman really cre if if there if there's a patriarchy women created it because women cuz you just cuz you just said you want a guy that pays all the
05:39:05
J'Quanbills you want a guy who does XYZ that man that's attractive to you so that man men in America are Innovative they figure they figure [ __ ] out they
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J'Quanstart businesses they get ideas they form alliances with other men who share those same values same ideas who are also innovators entrepreneurs so they become the top they become the top in